Strangest thing you've seen in Tabletop RPGs (Dungeons and Dragons and the like)

[Prosis]

I don't know about events, but we did have a weird discussion in D&D 3.5.

We had an in character discussion about how to traverse space and reach the moon. It was necessary at the time. Very strange hour.

As for crazy, unbelievable campaigns, I think this one takes the cake.

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116836

 

[Emiscary]

I don't know about events, but we did have a weird discussion in D&D 3.5.

We had an in character discussion about how to traverse space and reach the moon. It was necessary at the time. Very strange hour.

As for crazy, unbelievable campaigns, I think this one takes the cake.

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116836

Greater Teleport. Dur.

 

[floorman]

I don't know about events, but we did have a weird discussion in D&D 3.5.

We had an in character discussion about how to traverse space and reach the moon. It was necessary at the time. Very strange hour.

As for crazy, unbelievable campaigns, I think this one takes the cake.

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116836

Pathfinder has the spell Interplanetary Teleport. 9th level spell, no limit on teleport range, and if you have a specific destination in mind on your target planet, you arrive with no error chance.

 

[Aircross]

Ever wanted to min-max so hard that you break the game?

Introducing Pun-Pun [http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75882/19869366/The_most_powerful_character._EVER.].

 

[DrgoFx]

Ever wanted to min-max so hard that you break the game?

Introducing Pun-Pun [http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75882/19869366/The_most_powerful_character._EVER.].

Spoiler

Eh, I'm just more into the roleplaying aspects. Atleast, currently.

 

[Fappy]

Having my Kobold Rogue being shot out of an longbow and sneak attack critiing a giant undead monster. Hitting it where a magic orb in it's body was hidden. The orb was healing the monster. And when I critted it...it exploded. Sending my Kobold (who was dragonwrought and had wings look it up in Races of the Dragon 3.5 if you want.) flying into the forest and blowing a a huge chunk of the tower the thing was on away.

A close second is when that same Rogue was more or less raped by a female Red Dragon. I'm not even sure how that works....

I'm just going to assume she probably had Alter Self. >.>

 

[Bloodtrozorx]

I once played a game with an Orc and a Paladin in my group. The Orc grabbed two giant rats by their tails and started beating rats to death with rats. I remember him screaming "Rat Mace!" Of course later I provoked him into knocking a warehouse down and killing himself and the paladin.

 

[Saverio]

I was playing a Gurps game where the super powers that we all got came from our father. We didn't know we were related until the big reveal that we were not humans but the children of Alien Space Hitler who came to earth in order to fight space jews that control the jews race with the space magic. It ended before we got to fight their leader Nikolai Tesla on his secret jew moon base.

Our DM was troll and the reveal that we brought Hitler back to life made one guy quit.

 

[Terminate421]

Nobody has fun with what they WANT to be.

I'd play as a Birdfolk honestly:

Instead, people go back to the elves, for the 400th time.

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

My group's first run was so bad that all of our characters were in serious danger of dying... on our first encounter. Not against any big monsters, oh no. Against a few rats.

This was not helped by the fact that I, with my elven cleric, found an impressive talent for rolling nothing but ones, with the occasional two.

Our GM felt so bad for us that he BSed a reason to have a few of the rats turn traitor and help us against the other ones. We were that bad.

...Sadly, this was both my first and last D&D experience...

 

[Idlemessiah]

One D&D game comes to mind.

My friend, who is in a wheelchair, made his char a quadriplegic, also in a wheelchair. The guy basically put all of his stats into intelligence and perception and did his best not to get into combat.

After 14 hours we reached the last boss, we were tired and wanted finish up quickly and go home. So we spent a few turns outside his lair building a stockpile of enchantments and explosives in our wheelchair-bound companion's lap, then shoved him in through the door. (It's ok. He volunteered.)

The result was that the final boss, his 6 big minions and most of his mountain lair were destroyed in the space of one move. We had to get scatter dice. Also my friend lived, just, with one HP remaining.

 

[hawkeye52]

Well its was a WoW tabletop adaption to D&D 3.5

Things started off smoothly no problems. We got some cake for chasing down deserters. Then we found the camp where we thought the deserters were and I ran in and killed one or two and started collecting heads. Then another player (Tauren) with his immense str stat skullfucked an orc to death. We then found a Kodo and killed it and gutted it and walked into a sacrificial cultist group while inside the kodo and proclaimed that we were the great kodo god with severed orc penises flowing out of each orifice. We killed the body guard and persuaded the remaining orcs that we were the great kodo god and ordered the remaining ones to beat each to death with said severed orc penises and gather followers. Followers were gathered and a human who came was stuffed with a dwarf and spit roasted and then 2 night elves were chosen to become a high priestess but only if they beat the other to death with a severed penis yet again. We are now the nation of Kodoha and we are facing an impending invasion from the other great kingdoms.

Oh yeah also one of the tauren was wielding a totem which they carved into a 7ft long strap on with notches to make entry easily but exit hurt a load which my human barbarian found very painful after a critical miss.

 

[Pharsalus]

Lich Hitler, an elf rogue using and uzi to fight a L4D Tank, A massive fighter using a bear as a bomb (like dropped him on something while flying), Demi-lich Hitler, elf rogue using teleportation powers against jet fighters to murder the pilots in their cockpits, then stealing a fighter and landing it. All of these things were done by characters pulled from the standard fantasy setting and exposed to a little imagination.

And my use of Hitler wasn't trolling, it was meant to be a consequence to my time travelers for not trying to kill him in the 40's. They fought lich Hitler underneath the statue of liberty in a 90's era Nazi occupied US.

 

[Thistlehart]

Nothing comes to mind for myself, however my roommate told me of a rather delightful Exalted character of his. An Eclipse Caste with a Yeddim mount and lots of Ride charms.

Spoiler: Yeddim

Yes, that is a platform and a full grown man on its back.

Feats of hilarity:
1) Using a riding charm that let him share other charm effects with his mount, the Eclispe could essentially give the beast all the benefits of Exalted athletics: perfect balance, insane jumping ability, and even lightness. The effect was a mount that could, if he wanted it to, leap from treetop to treetop.

2) One of the riding charms available gives a mount a speed boost equivilant to its Stamina score. The Yeddim has a base stamina of *holy shit!*. This in effect allowed the entire group to travel at roughly 120 mph on the back of the Eclipse's mount.

3) The Incredible Surfing Yeddim:
During a fight in which the group was attempting to capture a traitor, the traitor had pulled an artifact from his belt that effectively made a hoverboard for him to escape on. One of the group knocked him off of it, and to prevent him from utilizing the hover board, the Eclipse ordered his Yeddim to leap onto the hover board and just... hang out. Thus something the size of an elephant was balanced perfectly on one foot in mid air on a flying device.

4) Ketchup Packets:
The group was facing an army invading Creation, and they decided to charge the line. As always, they were riding the Eclipse's Yeddim into the fray. Before they encountered the line, though, the beast leapt over the first, second, and third ranks (all the while the Eclipse used a resistance charm to deflect the shots the army directed at the airborne Yeddim) and landed on the fourth rank with an effect described as "ketchup packet", after which the Eclipse was able to leap from the animal, disarm a [rocket launcher] from an enemy trooper, slide through the gore underneath his beast, and blow away a mech from between the Yeddim's legs.

Suffice it to say, the group, and my roommate in particular, were rather fond of that Yeddim.

These are some of the stories I remember.

 

[Xanthious]

Go look up a game called Synnibarr (Seriously, Google it) and get back to me. That was like 500 pages of crazy. Made for some great times though. . . . or it could of been the drugs.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Ever wanted to min-max so hard that you break the game?

Introducing Pun-Pun [http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75882/19869366/The_most_powerful_character._EVER.].

I KNEW you could make a level 1 God, and that it involved a Kobold, but I couldn't remember any of the details!

Also, the Peasant Railgun: Line up ~2000 peasants, and have them ready an action to pass an object to the next peasant, and the guy at the end ready a throwing one. Then, pass a metal pole to the one at the opposite end, and suddenly the metal pole has travelled a large distance at an impossibly high speed, and is then thrown at... something.

And there's the metamagic feats abuse that lets you turn a Detect City spell into a nuke, it involves making it cause damage, then making it explosive. Because the damage depends on the size of the explosion, and the Detect City spell is massive, because well, you use it to find cities. Just don't expect to survive...

Also, if you have two Immovable Rods, you could climb up high enough that the planet rotates beneath you, and then climb down and find yourself on another continent.

I'm sure there was more than that, but... ah well.

 

[Xanadu84]

I attempted to introduce a powerful artifact that emitted a field when spun that acted as an anti-magic field, which actually drained ambient magic from the area. The primary limiting factor was that this drained magic would build up as heat, and if enough heat built up, it would send out a massive firestorm. The intent was to absorb magic until it would wipe out a large area, acting as a sort of magical nuke. NEVER underestimate clever players. For starters, instead of stopping the guy doing this, they just let him, and recovered the artifact immediately after. Well the players just got an artifact, but a rather mindlessly destructive one that was hard to get going. But they rationally posited that this nuke could be prevented by using a coolant, and expanding the area that the field absorbed magic from. Oops, they just made a larger anti-magic field then I intended. But they were not done. No see, it was water cooled. Which meant lots and lots of...steam. Which meant steam POWER. Which meant they could harness that power to...spin the artifact faster. The leader of the party had lots of intelligence and engineering skills. Long story short, they settled down for a while inventing things like steam powered Golems, airships, tanks, Pnemonic guns and other pretty advanced tech. They powered all this steam technology with a device that drained all magic from a town sized area. Suddenly, they could roll up to a town, and start attacking them with robots, while the defenders didn't have a spec of magic. They were supposed to be escorting a small party of refugees through a hostile kingdom. They ended up taking over the kingdom, and then the entire western seaboard, starting an industrial revolution.

Now that sounds awesome. It sounds like it would be a nice background for a setting in the future. Magic is gone as over time they kept increasing the influence of the device and now that device secretly helps run an entire steam powered world...

It was pretty awesome, which is why I didn't arbitrarily break the artifact or something like that. As it turned out, that campaign took place during high school senior year. Then everyone went to college or whatever, and we came back years later to start a new campaign, under Pathfinder instead of 3.0. And the players were in this town that has spent the last few years growing drastically more powerful, and developing advanced technologies. They find out that the town was getting these advanced technologies by excavating these ruins underneath the town proper. And sure enough, they eventually discover old manuscripts of their previous, high level characters designs for all this clockwork stuff. Then, the players went on a quest to recover the artifact, at which point we went on alternating weeks, one week where they played a high level character acting on behalf of their old high level characters, fending off an Ilithid invasion of which only the anti magic and technology of the town were able to defend against on the entire continent, and there current character where they travel through ruins that were directly effected by those actions. It cumulated in the high levels setting off a massive artifact-based firestorm to incinerate the main aberration force, and knocking down the town in the process, and the players recovering the artifact, setting the stage to rebuild the old industrial revolution.

Easily the coolest plot ive ever done in D+D.

 

[Paddy the Second]

Where do I begin? Shooting children in the face, failing to catch a bugbear highwayman called Mangirdis, burning down innocent people's homes accidentally with Flames of Phlegethos, blowing up a lighthouse, singlehandedly destroying a pirate base, setting a forest on fire to kill one Drow, our rogue punching our paladin into said fire, punching open the door to a huge tower, giving a goblin the finger, our rogue stealing our fighter's rope, my warlock being locked in a room with two ghosts, buying our way into a town with spectacles, rolling a barrel towards kobolds that stopped short, leaving town guards to die, opening a door to find two kobolds beating another before killing those two and jumping on the head of the beaten one, being jumped by a rat while looking for drugs and swearing at it so hard it burst, insulting a dragon to death, returning to a town which had been attacked by a dragon and killing the only survivor (the quest giver) because we didn't get a reward, drop kicking a baby into the dragon's mouth, a stoner bard who used the ICP's Miracles as an attack (it worked) ODing in a barrel which was rolled to safety, killing a gang member, wearing his skin and pretending to be him to his boss (that worked out well), inciting the rage of Sam Raimi and murdering a family due to a misunderstanding.

All this in three sessions of 4th Ed. D&D, starting with new level 1 characters each time.