stuck in a lie... and also quitting smoking

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Superbeast

Bound up the dead triumphantly!
Jan 7, 2009
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cathou said:
I use nothing, I've just stop. I don't like the idea of using meds. I've quit a few addictions before (I think I just have an easily addicted body I guess) and I've always stop without medication.
I tried to go cold-turkey a few times, and managed to make it to about a week or so before giving in. With the patches I could last a few weeks or a month or two. The last time I tried to quit I took the medication and that worked really well.

If you want to do it by yourself, then good luck and more power to you - I just figured I would throw out some things that have helped me and my partner quit.

I didn't try e-cig, but I've heard pretty nasty things about them.
I have not heard anything bad about them, other than the fact that they still contain nicotine (the links provided further down the page are interesting, but seem inconclusive). They worked well for my partner (though she eventually had to switch to the medication to succeed), and were quite useful to have if I was going to the pub or something with friends as they still give you something to do with your hands, and it also feels like you are smoking (unlike, for example, the Nicorette Inhalator, which is very different to an electronic cigarette).

Still, best of luck to you, I hope you manage to get through cold-turkey this time and your missus is none the wiser (I would still recommend telling her, but it is your choice)!
 

godofallu

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Jun 8, 2010
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This is kind of strange but I just found out today one of my married friends (we aren't super close so it took a week or two to find out) is getting divorced. Their marriage was on the rocks but the straw that broke the camels back was his smoking. He had promised to quit like 5 different times and this last time he was smoking and then lying to her about it over and over. She said she knew each time he was lying.

Not saying that has anything to do with the OP's marriage just saying it's an interesting story that people might be able to learn from.

Personally I have never smoked or had a wife so I can't really relate.
 

Robot Number V

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May 15, 2012
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My brother's trying to get smoking. It seems pretty tough (He tends to get kind of...on-edge...around the smell of cigarettes) but electronic ones seem to be working OK.
 

lechat

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Dec 5, 2012
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some tips in here to help you OP
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/538.397610-Quitting-Smoking#16230700

but by all means if what you are doing is working than stick to it
 

cathou

Souris la vie est un fromage
Apr 6, 2009
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on the cigarette level, i feel ok right now after 84 hours or so, i think the withdrawal will peak tomorrow. but, i'm also afraid that everything i feel is psychological and that i might not be addicted physically.

i say that because at home i feel fine and i have almost no symptoms, but as soon as will be leaving tomorrow for work, they will kick in. that's probably because i didn't not smoked at home anyway, so my brain is expecting to have no nicotine between 4 pm and 7 am.

last time i quit, i think i was fighting more the physical side rather than the psychological. and i realize that the psychological symptoms might never go away, since they are not body related...



i almost told my wife my secret tonight, however in the worst timming in recent history, one of her friend phoned her tonight, and said that she was thinking of quitting smoking. i was in the kitchen and i clearly heard her saying : "oh good for you, quitting smoking will be so benefic. Catherine did it a few years ago, and beside a few times she never started again. i'm sooo proud of her !"

and now, there's no way in hell i can tell her that i did started again, because i dont want to start a fight over this, i don't want to hurt her, and anyway if i hang on enough, my lie will not be a lie anymore. It's just harder without her support and encouragement...
 

Verkain

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Sep 5, 2004
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I smoked for 22 years before I quit for good 18 months ago and I was often in the same position as you. The sad thing is, my wife always could tell when I was smoking whether I thought I hid the smell or not. She could just tell, it was uncanny.

The withdrawal symptoms I still have including dreaming of smoking. There was one time not too long ago that I actually woke up thinking I had smoked for real. I could even taste it in my mouth. Very bizarre.

For me the most invaluable thing in quitting was the support of my friends and coworkers. The refused to offer me a smoke even if it looked like I wanted one and they were patient with me when I raged (which was often I am afraid). Couldn't have done it without them. I hate to say it but my wife's support was worthless, she had never smoked in her life and I felt she didn't understand the difficulty.
 

cathou

Souris la vie est un fromage
Apr 6, 2009
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Verkain said:
The withdrawal symptoms I still have including dreaming of smoking. There was one time not too long ago that I actually woke up thinking I had smoked for real. I could even taste it in my mouth. Very bizarre.
actually, you know what, i had the very same thing about a year or so after i quit in my two years break. i dreamed that i smoked, and it was so terribly real, with the taste, the smell and even the body reaction to nicotine, that i woke up crying because of the guilt that i had smoked again...
 

lechat

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Dec 5, 2012
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on my last attempt to quit even months after quitting i would still reach for where my cigs should have been and would often awake from dreams near in tears for giving in and having a single cigarette

stick with it OP. nothing sucks worse than taking the stupid habit up after putting all that effort in. what mild discomfort you suffer now will pale in comparison to how you will feel if you slip up and get yourself hooked again
 

cathou

Souris la vie est un fromage
Apr 6, 2009
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4th day. i think the worst is behind me, except that i'm really irritable today (i yelled at 3 people today so far), and also full of energy, like i could go outside and running a marathon right now. i've decided to drown my cravings, so i drink water to compensate. i've already drank 1.5 liters today...

i also rediscover how tasty things are. seriously, each time i always forget that.

i really want to thanks everybody who gave me advice and tips in this, even if i dont use them all, it does help.