Study: Sexting is a form of "modern courtship", parents should not be worried

[Mr Fixit]

WOOOOO!!!! So dick pics are socially acceptable now?

No.... Ok...

Seriously, if it's part of "modern courtship" or not it's still just a really dumb idea. It's a fun idea, but a dumb one.

 

[theboombody]

You open yourself up to cyberbullying though if someone who's mean finds those pictures. Better be careful.

 

[Fappy]

I would be absolutely against it. The reasoning is simple, really: why the fuck should I trust their boyfriend/girlfriend to keep those photos to themselves? I'm sorry, but as a parent it is not out of your jurisdiction to step in and stop your kids from endangering themselves in such a needlessly stupid way. If they want to text explicit stuff to each other that's fine, just keep actual photos/videos out of it. A picture of you spread eagle at fifteen is far more damning than texting "I cant w8 2 suk yor dik 2nite".

Oh God... hopefully my kids learn proper grammar >.>

 

[Colour Scientist]

I think it should only be done with someone you know won't spread them even if things go sour.

To be fair, people don't send photos to others if they think they might pass them on.
At the time of sending, I imagine they trust the person to not do the shitty thing.

It's not something you can predict with any great degree of certainty, there's always going to be a risk involved.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10808862/Sexting-is-new-courtship-parents-are-told.html

A study out of Australia has revealed that 'sexting' has become a common part of teenage life, with half of 15 to 18 year olds sending naked or semi-naked photos and videos of themselves via text message or internet.

If there are any parents here (or future parents), how do you feel about your teenagers sending sexually explicit messages and pictures?
Have you ever sent any yourself?

Some people are saying that this is a dangerous practice. While others are saying it's a safe way that teenagers can be intimate, without the dangers of STDs or teenage pregnancy.

Your thoughts on this?

Spoiler: What do I think of this? Let's see...

Alright then.

First of, let's just call it as is, alright? Sexting is basically a sexual calling card in most cases. Teens want to show of their bodies in such a manner in order for them to get attention or a response from others.

Modern courtship, really? Most teens today don't even know about the word courtship or what it entails. Modern courtship is talking to someone you're interested in, going out on a date or activity in order to get to know them better, and then decided if they want to go steady.

Sexting is not a nicotine patch to curb sexual appetite or urges; teens who want sex will go out an get it, regardless if they are sexting or not.

Sexting is just a stupid act that began with only a handful of shameless teenagers and has become more 'acceptable' because waves upon waves of teens are simply following by example.

Teens are stupid, period. They will always find something stupid to pass the time or inevitably screw their future. The only difference is what activity they do and how often. I can attest, I was a teen as well. I did stupid stuff as well, but nothing as stupid and degrading as this.

So no, don't give in to this whole 'sexting a healthy modern sexual release for teens' bullshit. This is just a way to convince others that it isn't all that bad and to allow the activity to continue and/or flourish.

[sub]It's also probably some pervert who gets a kick out of seeing sexting teenagers or something...[/sub]

 

[epicdwarf]

WAIT HOLD ON HERE!!! Parents should NOT be worried about their under-aged kids sending nude pictures to each other? Pictures that can end up online or used as blackmail? This is also an illegal practice, because sexting is technically classifieds disrupting child porn. No, parents should be VERY worried if their kid is sexting. I have heard too many stories of these kinds of pictures being used wrongly and being arrested for it. This isn't "modern courtship" at all.

 

[Sabitsuki]

Sexting? A ridiculous practice that erodes our writing abilities. How in the world am I supposed to properly describe the depths of the lewdness and depravity in my intentions with my partner with nothing more than a 160 character limit? That's not even enough room to agonize over the details of my beautiful new leather restraints. The best they could expect from a text is "Check your e-mail, I have sent you several paragraphs." Close that dang phone and open up some sort of writing program, if you can't fill half a page then it's not worth sending to your lover. This is your new homework.

More seriously though. I've never had any real issue with the practice. I have partaken myself, always with someone I have had unending trust in. I never sent pictures of myself, though I have had them sent to me, and I have never let them out beyond my own personal viewing (At this point they are all deleted forever). It's fun. Nice, clean, dirty, enjoyable fun. I think healthy, consensual expression of sexual desires in a safe environment is a very good thing, especially for those who want to be intimate but aren't yet comfortable with the idea of physical intimacy. However a person wishes to express their sexual desires with another is fine with me, as long as it is consensual.

I think the danger right now lies in the fact that it's a relatively new practice that people are still squeamish over, and as such there's much less urging for safe practices with it. Unlike normal sex education, there's not enough insistence over discretion, urging to not let yourself be pressured into partaking, and how to put an end to it if someone is sending texts and pictures to you unwanted. It would also go a long way if we could do more to put our foot down on these disgusting 'revenge' porn sites and other sites that collect photos and videos of women without the subject's consent to them being posted.

Having actual tangible pictures and words floating around about what you've done is certainly a scary prospect, and that should be known. However it's not like we've never had to live with scumbags who are willing to use their sexual conquests as a means to blackmail and shame their partners. Ultimately I feel the important thing is to do more to create an environment in which someone who is the victim of this behavior does not feel unsafe about reporting or talking about it. Otherwise, proper education, laying out the information a teen needs to make a proper and informed choice of what they want to do and the potential consequences is the best option.

 

[krazykidd]

Man i was born a the wrong time. And had horrible parents. Teaching me that sex is sacred and all that nonsense. Ahhhh what i'd give to have been born 10 years later.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

Well I suppose it's harmless.

Then again, I qualify as a hermit because I actively reject and berate all social media as a universal waste of time.

If Facebook suddenly began dispensing cures for cancer for free, then I'd be the last person to know about it.

In terms of this sexting nonsense, I see it the same way I see selfies.

-A massive waste of time.

Other than that, don't really care.

*retreats back to hermit cave, complains about his generation under breath*

 

[Flutterguy]

because if those pics get spread around its not the GUY they'll be labeling a slut...*sigh* its not the sex part that bothers me but the double standard part

I'm sorry to tell you, but vagina is one of the worlds most strictly managed resources, since it is the greatest motivator of human accomplishment. Hence religious and political laws.

But back to the topic at hand. I preferred the days when highschoolers just claimed to have alot of sex with no actual evidence to show for it. Then again I was a fat kid.

 

[Bluestorm83]

It's classless. People need to have more class. I mean, if you treat yourself like trash, why would anyone worth a damn want you?

 

[Happiness Assassin]

I have a mantra for anything digital: if you are not comfortable with random strangers seeing what you do on your phone, you better get rid of your phone. In today's world privacy is a thing of the past and when you are knowingly distributing naked pictures of yourself to others, you better treat it as if you are just straight up putting it on the internet. Because they are likely to do it themselves, consequences be damned. Parents should at the very least educate their kids about the consequences of the things they send to others.

 

[generals3]

If you don't mind the pictures to get public than yes it's harmless otherwise i'd strongly advice not to do this kind of thing. Even if the person to who it was sent is a good person said person's cell might get into the hands of someone less kind...

 

[DEAD34345]

More worrying is the fact that its another aspect of human life where technology is replacing the real thing, which is unhealthy in all kind of ways.

technology already replaced the real thing...its called a vibrator *ba-dum-tsh!*

I doubt looking at some bits on a phone is going to replace actual sex...I don't think much as changed here except the whole privacy/ruining ones life part

Well, it has for some people, but in any case, thats not what I was saying. I'm saying its replaced traditional courtship. See thread title, etc.

Sounds like a strange thing to be worried about to me, courtship is constantly changing, so there never was a real thing. How "traditional" do you want your relationships, exactly? Ancient-style, when men would capture their brides in battle with enemy tribes? Perhaps medieval, when marriages were political alliances, and men and women were paired together purely for political reasons by their families?

Since you use the word courtship specifically, maybe you're referring to how classy Victorian gentlemen would arrange to be formally introduced to a potential future spouse, so that they might provide exchange courtship cards and begin a 100% chaperoned series of visits leading up to marriage? When women were allowed to flirt only through the use of subtle fan motions?

OT: I fail to see any cause for concern. Maybe with all these naked pictures of everyone being freely distributed around, the next generation will be less prudish and repressed when it comes to these things. Sure, some teenagers will embarrass themselves, but that's hardly anything new is it?

 

[DEAD34345]

[snip]

Sounds like a strange thing to be worried about to me, courtship is constantly changing, so there never was a real thing. How "traditional" do you want your relationships, exactly? Ancient-style, when men would capture their brides in battle with enemy tribes? Perhaps medieval, when marriages were political alliances, and men and women were paired together purely for political reasons by their families?

Since you use the word courtship specifically, maybe you're referring to how classy Victorian gentlemen would arrange to be formally introduced to a potential future spouse, so that they might provide exchange courtship cards and begin a 100% chaperoned series of visits leading up to marriage? When women were allowed to flirt only through the use of subtle fan motions?

Your idea of how the majority of courtship in history looked is hilariously incorrect.

Just a pointer for you: with the exception of "ancient style" - I'm not sure why you call it ancient because it actually isn't, it happened throughout the ages and still happens today - all of your examples come from how things were in upper class families. Shockingly enough, these never made up the majority of the population. Food for thought.

Not really my point at all, and I'm well aware of the fact that those examples weren't the majority of courtships, and also that I've no idea how courtship looked / looks in most times and places. I was just trying to say that any idea of a "traditional courtship" is silly to begin with, and to suggest that changing "traditional courtship" is bad is even sillier.

 

[Hero of Lime]

I seen enough guys sharing pictures of their girlfriends to know that someone should be concerned about it, it's just not the parents. I know people will say it's natural for teens to do it, but that does not make it a wise thing to do, teenagers don't have the best track record for smart choices after all. >.>

I would just want people to realize that once you send out a picture like that, it can wind up anywhere, and be seen by anyone. If you understand the risks and proceed to do so, it's hard to not say "I told ya so!" when the pictures are misused.

 

[lacktheknack]

I can't think of a poorer choice of a group to send naked photos of oneself to than "high school teenagers".

Maybe the Taliban? Still undecided.

This. Parents should be worried because, if this has replaced traditional courtship, then modern teens have somehow ended up with an even worse dating environment than I grew up in.