Stuff you realized was bad even as a kid

[bartholen_v1legacy]

This has been on my mind recently. Kids' judgement is often not well developed, so we likely swallowed tons of absolute garbage at that age because we didn't know any better. But sometimes something is so awful that even the innocent mind of a child goes "Yeah, that sucks". What movies, tv series, games, books or anything else did you read/watch/whatever as a kid and even then thought it was bad?

My example would be (deep breath) Attack of the Clones. I saw it in theaters as a kid and of course I thought it was awesome because it had lots of flashy stuff. But after later viewings on VHS I thought "Wait a minute, this is terrible!", and I don't think I need to tell why. The only parts I was ever looking forward to were Jango and Obi-Wan's little duel in Kamino and the end fight with Count Dooku. The rest of the movie my child's brain pushed right out as not to traumatize me.

More examples?

 

[shrekfan246]

The Fantasia game for the Sega Genesis. Don't know why we had it, and I kinda feel bad on reflection. But that game was... ugh. Just another example of how terrible rushed licensed games can get.

I've probably blocked out most of what else I thought was bad, or I thought it was bad because I couldn't figure out how the game actually worked or didn't understand what I was seeing.

I would, however, like to point out how much of an eyesore this review from the 90s is:

Spoiler

That's pretty bad.

EDIT: They weren't actually supposed to be broken images, but that's pretty bad too.

EDIT 2: Changed the images, hopefully this new example will work...

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Dragon Ball Z. At first I really liked the show but it quickly became apparent that it would take multiple episodes for characters to soliloquize with one another while powering up all before throwing a punch or energy blast. This annoyed me but what really made me realize it was bad was the anime a friend of mine was showing me on VHS as the same time Toonami was showing me between 4 and 6pm on weekdays. While Toonami would show me Dragon Ball Z and, Sailor Moon I would be able to go over to my friend's house and watch movies like Akira and Vampire Hunter D. Then there was an anime series called Fist of the North Star which introduced and killed a bad guy in the SAME DAMN EPISODE. I can appreciate Dragon Ball Z and when enemies finally do die, they die in pretty spectacular ways (especially when Future Trunks makes his appearance). Fist of the North Star however gives you over-the-top deaths in every single episode.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Agreed on the Star Wars prequels. Thank god I saw the original trilogy before watching those. The first one, I think, I endured with some measure of gusto (I was, after all, watching lightsabers on the big screen for the first time in my life). The 2nd and 3rd were so droll and boring with the angsty romance and all the federation/council/senate BS... sure, I enjoyed some bits here and there but the prevailing gut feel was that of disgust and cynicism.

 

[badgersprite]

Attack of the Clones was the major one for me too. I did see The Phantom Menace in theatres as a kid and didn't really like it, but I was more just confused and baffled than anything else, but Attack of the Clones? I saw it on DVD not long after it had come out, and it was so bad that even as I kid I told my Dad, "No. Don't see it. You don't want to see it. It's terrible."

I also knew that Fantasia 2000 was nowhere near as good as the original Fantasia, and I knew Batman & Robin was shit.

 

[Dangit2019]

I guess just a lot of Top 40 pop music. Unlike a lot of the people posting so far, I actually liked the SW prequels as a kid and only grew to hate them later.

 

[shrekfan246]

I guess just a lot of Top 40 pop music. Unlike a lot of the people posting so far, I actually liked the SW prequels as a kid and only grew to hate them later.

Edgy bastard that I am, I still like them.

Sure, I can acknowledge that Clones and Revenge have terrible scripts and overblown CGI, Phantom suffers from not really having a strong central bad guy and trying to establish origins for characters already in the franchise, and all three of them only really have two or three genuinely good actors, but I still find them all enjoyable to watch for various different reasons.

 

[Dangit2019]

I guess just a lot of Top 40 pop music. Unlike a lot of the people posting so far, I actually liked the SW prequels as a kid and only grew to hate them later.

Edgy bastard that I am, I still like them.

Sure, I can acknowledge that Clones and Revenge have terrible scripts and overblown CGI, Phantom suffers from not really having a strong central bad guy and trying to establish origins for characters already in the franchise, and all three of them only really have two or three genuinely good actors, but I still find them all enjoyable to watch for various different reasons.

Oh Dear, it seems I've forgotten my torch and pitchfork.

Seriously though, if you like them, that's great. More power to you. I just can't find any enjoyment in them.

I do like it when people try to say that the people who don't like them are just "saying that to seem smart" instead of, you know, plainly disliking them. But that's something else.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

I've never really seen religion as positive.

 

[shrekfan246]

I do like it when people try to say that the people who don't like them are just "saying that to seem smart" instead of, you know, plainly disliking them. But that's something else.

I don't think I've ever seen that before.

Mostly because, in my experience at least, the people who admit to liking them are often spammed with that stupid Plinkett review and told about how they're objectively wrong because the prequels fail in every way. Which is also something else.

I would, however, question how many people have had their opinions on the prequels swayed simply because of the Internet Hate Machine aimed at the three films over the last fourteen years. But this isn't the thread for that sort of analysis.

 

[Chanel Tompkins]

Hm...probably Choose your own adventure books.
I mean, I guess some of them can be fun, but most of the time the story is lame and you just end up skipping through the book trying to find the one good ending.

 

[FalloutJack]

Pokemon.

It's a kid show and kid-me doesn't approve.

There's others, but memory's fickle right now.

 

[Cheery Lunatic]

Star Wars Prequels easily.

In fact, they were so bad I assumed the original trilogy would be just as bad so I didn't actually watch it until a couple of years ago (and it was amazing ofc).

 

[Casual Shinji]

People in animal costumes.

Whenever I saw footage of like Disneyland as a little sprout, the sight of someone dressed up as Goofy or Mickey already creeped me out. Cat ears and a tail I'm fine with, but as soon as it becomes a full body attire with the head and everything I get the heeby jeebies.

 

[Ratties]

You know it's time to bring up the Virtual Boy. Of course when I first saw pics for it, I thought it looked like garbage. You want me to play games on that horribly designed piece of crap. After playing 3 games on it as kid, I wanted to never see it again. Remember having fun playing Wario Land. Everyone knows that most 2D Wario games kick ass.
[http://photobucket.com/images/virtual%20boy]

Burn it with fire.

 

[smithy_2045]

I knew from a young age that vegetables were demonspawn. Young me was a bright little tacker.

 

[Dirge Eterna]

I've never really seen religion as positive.

Same here. I was dragged to some radical churches as a kid. Snake Handlers, Shakers and people who spoke in tongues were the worst ones that I remember. Then my mom just became a plain old Southern baptist. Still shudder at some of the crap they shoved down our throats as a kid.

I guess just a lot of Top 40 pop music. Unlike a lot of the people posting so far, I actually liked the SW prequels as a kid and only grew to hate them later.

I still love all the movies and enjoy watching them with my 6 year old. As far as pop music I never liked it even as a kid, I was into rock and metal from a very young age.

 

[Starik20X6]

Pokemon.

It's a kid show and kid-me doesn't approve.

There's others, but memory's fickle right now.

Yeah, I think I got through maybe the first season of Pokémon before realising that hey, I could probably better use this time actually playing the game instead of watching the show.

On a similar note, pretty much all of those blatantly toyetic cartoons that came out not long after Pokémon got big (I'm looking at you, Beyblades) were terrible. I'm surprised the bandwagon could hold that many franchises... Yeah I know toyetic kids cartoons are older than that (Transformers/G.I. Joe anyone?), but I'm a 90's kid, they were past my era.

 

[Not Matt]

3D, always despised it.

religion and alternative medicine. i never got it, and i felt that science was more likely to be true.

politics. because i thought that the people who have the capacity to rule a nation is often also the people who shouldn't do so.