Stuff you've done in Skyrim that you wouldn't do in real life

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synobal

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Marrying a woman after meeting her and speaking two sentences maybe less.
 

Sateru

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Jul 11, 2010
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:) Well... Let's see...

Never fight a dragon...

Never rape a dead dragon...

Looting a corpse.

Fight against the dragon that saved my ass in Helgen (That's right, I find it funny that you're out to kill something that had saved your ass earlier. :| I mean, he could have let you die right then and there, but he saved your ass. Just think... if Alduin knew just how much of a pain you'd become, he would have just watched as that executioner popped your head off, then laughed about it as he torches Helgen after confirming your demise.)

Join any side of the civil war... (Mostly because both sides are heavily flawed... you either have the racist Stormcloaks that want nothing more than to return everything back to the way it was. I mean, they want nothing more than to bring things back to the chaotic era it once was. The Imperials are pussy whipped by the Thalmor who are nothing but elitist assholes in their own right. If I could, I would join a third party, make my own and fight against both sides.)

Join the Blades...

Steal from everyone in sight...

Worship any of the Nine Divines (I would love to worship the Daedra Princes... Mostly Sheogorath since he's so fucking awesome!)

Be a warrior... (I really dislike conflict... I would be a mage in real life if the option of magic was ever possible.)

Be a mage... (Kind of self explanatory there...)

Be a thief... (Don't wanna go to jail..)

Be a Dovahkiin (Self-explanatory)

Steal jewelry from the corpses of animals (D: Why in the hell does a goat even have a garnet ring? Or a fox... or an elk for that matter.)

Feed the homeless...

Kill the homeless...

Kill fanatical Talos worshippers just because they're annoying... (Like the one in Whiterun... kinda went for him as a wolf and beat the life out of him before devouring his face off.)

Be a werewolf (Even though that would be fucking sweet! I wouldn't be able to stand my own smell...)

Be a vampire

Survive an arrow to the skull...

Survive spike traps...

Survive Ice Spikes in the groin...

Survive any kind of magical attack...

Marry and then murder my spouse just for the hell of it.

Massacre a whole entire village just because my horse was killed by a dragon.

Look like a sexy Nord male...

Be able to marry a sexy nord...

Pet a Khajit... (T-T I really love the Khajit...)
 

Hal10k

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May 23, 2011
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JoesshittyOs said:
The one thing where you beat the shit out of the guy for the mace.

I kinda just looked at him then was like "fuck that, I'm not an evil character" and walked out. I'm assuming there's a way to not beat him up, so I'll see if I chance that.
I actually did that.

I really wasn't too keen on the idea of beating a defenseless old man into submission, but come on. It's Malog Bal. When an omnipotent being that goes by the title "KIng of Rape" tells me to do something that doesn't involve removing my intestines through fresh and exciting orifices, I'd consider it ideal to just comply in order to avoid invoking the wrath of a being that expresses its wrath through particularily creative means.
 

cswurt

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Oct 26, 2011
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Here's a list of things I've done in Skyrim that I wouldn't do in real life.

1. Go outside.

2. Talk to a girl.

3. Bathe.

4. Help strangers.

5. Become a respected member of a community.

6. Move at a faster pace than a sluggish walk.
 

radio1314

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Sep 24, 2009
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1. Going out of my way to talk to and insane child who is trying to contact a secret organization of murderers who have tried to kill me. Just to join them.
2. Shooting fire, or any of the other many elements, out of the palms of my hands.
3. Jumping off a bridge to see if I could live.
4. Thinking "Being a werewolf wouldn't be so bad".
5. Lock picking and carrying over 200 lock picks with me.
6. Accidentally killing the leader of a village, in which I am revered, because I was testing a new spell I had learned.
7. Killing a dragon.
8. Shouting someone off a mountain side.
9. Stealing massive amounts of goods.
10. Summoning a elemental being to fight by my side.
11. Summoning an undead being to fight by my side.
12. Summoning of any kind.
13. Going into a dark cave because someone told me there might be something of value in there.
14. Use a blacksmith to craft over 300 daggers to make me a better blacksmith.
15. Enchanting said 300 daggers to make me a better enchanter.
 

nokori3byo

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Feb 24, 2008
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Techsmart07 said:
5 Change my outfit in the middle of the street (complete change, not just swap shirts or something).
This brings to mind something I would TOTALLY do given the opportunity and resources. Namely: shirtless blacksmithing!
 

Alcamonic

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1. Trip on a piece of furniture or bones on the ground, and end up dying.

2. Enter any dark / underground dungeon "Yeah, this seems like a good idea!".

3. Successfully pickpocket someone. Despite my abilities to avoid obvious objects on the ground, I'm not exactly stealthy with my hands.

4. Ride a horse without training.

5. Ride said horse into the frozen hell that is the northrend Skyrim wilderness.
 

JoesshittyOs

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Hal10k said:
JoesshittyOs said:
The one thing where you beat the shit out of the guy for the mace.

I kinda just looked at him then was like "fuck that, I'm not an evil character" and walked out. I'm assuming there's a way to not beat him up, so I'll see if I chance that.
I actually did that.

I really wasn't too keen on the idea of beating a defenseless old man into submission, but come on. It's Malog Bal. When an omnipotent being that goes by the title "KIng of Rape" tells me to do something that doesn't involve removing my intestines through fresh and exciting orifices, I'd consider it ideal to just comply in order to avoid invoking the wrath of a being that expresses its wrath through particularily creative means.
I would have, but in the last game of Oblivion I became so evil that altar's wouldn't even bless me. And it was completely by accident. I kinda thought that I should try to do good in this one, and I had thought that if the guy managed to contain the Mace once, he could do it again.
 

Smeggs

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Oct 21, 2008
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Sateru said:
:) Well... Let's see...

Never fight a dragon...

Never rape a dead dragon...

Looting a corpse.

Fight against the dragon that saved my ass in Helgen (That's right, I find it funny that you're out to kill something that had saved your ass earlier. :| I mean, he could have let you die right then and there, but he saved your ass. Just think... if Alduin knew just how much of a pain you'd become, he would have just watched as that executioner popped your head off, then laughed about it as he torches Helgen after confirming your demise.)
Alduin didn't save you, he nearly splattered you with Unrelenting Force at the beginning of the game, and even tries to flame you to death at about three different points as you try to escape. He was just causing general chaos, unless I'm missing something here.
 

nokori3byo

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Feb 24, 2008
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GreatTeacherCAW said:
1.) This question baffles me. I wouldn't do 99% of the stuff I've done in Skyrim in real life, mainly because I don't live in a J.R.R. Tolkien novel.
Yeah, "real life" might have been a poor choice of words. The question is premissed on the idea of the "real you" somehow being exposed to conditions and events that are commonplace in Skyrim.

So, with the above example of looting giant spiders...well, I'm reliably informed that spiders in our world don't grow to be that huge. But if such spiders did exist and one of them got up in my grill for some reason and I somehow managed to kill it (say with a bit of sharpened dowling, or a judiciously tipped bass amp), I would not in fact root through its guts for treasure. Probably, I'd back slowly away, all the while maintaining eye-contact with its numerous, hopefully dead eyes.
 

Trivea

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Jan 27, 2011
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nokori3byo said:
2. Going through any door labeled "Inner Sanctum." "Lair," maybe, "Sanctum," no.

10. Carrying hot stew in my pocket.
I can't agree with either of these more. What else would I not do...

-Carry around a human head as a storage device.
-Jump off any second story surface to the ground floor.
-Talk to every random stranger I see (too many psychos out there).
-Go into any dark foreboding cavern infested with people who claim to be able to raise the dead.
-Go into any dark foreboding cavern period.
-Run full-pelt through town armed to the teeth. I mean, who doesn't do that in Skyrim? And who WOULDN'T get arrested for doing that in real life?
-Go across an entire continent to do a fetch-quest for a stranger, no matter what the reward is.
 

King of the Sandbox

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I did TONS of stuff I'd never do in real life, like carrying 365 lbs of anything at once... but then I took an arrow to the knee.
 

Sateru

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Smeggs said:
Alduin didn't save you, he nearly splattered you with Unrelenting Force at the beginning of the game, and even tries to flame you to death at about three different points as you try to escape. He was just causing general chaos, unless I'm missing something here.
Maybe that's like the equivalent of him telling you to get the hell away, shit's gonna hit the fan? :) After all, Dragon shouts are supposed to be the Dragon's form of getting a point across. Deadly verbal debates! Then again, I just remember that it appeared like his attack did nothing more than disorient your character. I mean, everything for the Dovahkiin turned very hazy and blurry.

XD Anyways, it never appeared to me like he was specifically trying to kill the Dovahkiin. All of his attacks were done on the people attacking him, or he was just mindlessly destroying Helgen for shits and giggles. I mean, that's the first time he acknowledges you as the Dovahkiin, but he comments that he can't sense any dragon essence in you. So... you can't even say he predicted that you would come there, or that he had met you there at all. For him, he was there for a massacre.

Then again, everything I had said almost goes along the lines that he really had no interest in killing the Dovahkiin specifically. Humans are like ants to him, and he simply attacked in a general frenzy and attempted to murder and deal the most destruction possible. :) Still, I found it that he saved my ass regardless of his reasons... Razing Helgen to the ground just seemed like a perfect and justified punishment for them trying to lop my head off. :D He never attacked my character directly until later on in the game. (Don't really wanna spoil anything too much for anyone just starting.)
 

Denim Knight

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Nov 19, 2011
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GreatTeacherCAW said:
1.) Fight a dragon

2.) Wear armor

3.) Yell at people so much that they fly away

4.) Fight a giant

5.) Live in a stupid, shitty house without electricity

6.) Get married

7.) Listen to the requests of others

8.) Fight giant spiders

This question baffles me. I wouldn't do 99% of the stuff I've done in Skyrim in real life, mainly because I don't live in a J.R.R. Tolkien novel.
That is pretty much my answer as well, but I couldn't say it that well so nice job.
 

2012 Wont Happen

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cswurt said:
Here's a list of things I've done in Skyrim that I wouldn't do in real life.

1. Go outside.

2. Talk to a girl.

3. Bathe.

4. Help strangers.

5. Become a respected member of a community.

6. Move at a faster pace than a sluggish walk.
Honesty is a virtue!
 

Torrasque

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Aug 6, 2010
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Pretty much everything that happens in the game.
I'd try to do what I can, but going through a frozen land in search of walls of wisdom that teach me dragon tongue, that are very likely guarded by dragons and other terrifyingly powerful creatures... Not really my cup of tea.
 

nokori3byo

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Feb 24, 2008
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Trivea said:
-Carry around a human head as a storage device.
*As* a storage device!? Really? I had a couple of witches' heads on me at one point, but I wasn't actually storing anything *in* them.