Stupid Customers

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Ibaapzo

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Dec 25, 2008
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Willwillwritehiswill said:
Classic, but i have been asked...

Customer - "excuse me, do you work here?"
Me - "No, i just thought it was such a lovely day i'd wear my bright red polyester top, smart work trousers and a woolworths name tag."

Also, i had one customer, completely seriously, say "I won't need a bag thanks. Got to save those trees!"
Double-post again, but:

I HATE THAT! You wear the clothing, have a name-tag, sit behind the register, and still get asked of your employment. It's beyond stupidity.

And I'd ask if the customer needed a bag, and they said, "Nope! Save the trees!" I'd often ask where plastic trees grew, and most of them didn't understand my mockery. Sad.
 

WinkyTheGreat

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Sep 6, 2008
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Willwillwritehiswill said:
Classic, but i have been asked...

Customer - "excuse me, do you work here?"
Me - "No, i just thought it was such a lovely day i'd wear my bright red polyester top, smart work trousers and a woolworths name tag."

Also, i had one customer, completely seriously, say "I won't need a bag thanks. Got to save those trees!"
I've had similar situations.
"Do you work here?"
"No, I just wear this Jersey and 'Sports Nut' name tag while hanging out near this cart in the mall, asking people if they need help finding stuff."

I also love when customers assume you don't have something just because they don't see it on their first pass by the stand.
 

Ibaapzo

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JokerGrin said:
As I'm stood outside the shop in my hat, coat and gloves, with all the lights off and the door shut and locked there's a voice "Are you closed?"
...wow. Same with closing the gate at malls - I've been asked as to our closing, then asked questions about product:

*gate's closed, I'm counting the register*
"Are you closed?"
"Yep, closed at nine!"
"Oh... Do you have any Wii's?"
"Yep."
"Can I have one?"
"Tomorrow morning when we're open, sure. Come on in!"
"But... I'm here now."
"Aye, but to your dismay, we're closed."
"...But-"
"We open promptly at ten tomorrow. I suggest you come back then."
*customer storms off after calling me a *****
 

WinkyTheGreat

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Lizatonic said:
"Are these on sale?" and there was a sign saying "50% off" right next to the product.
Or, "Are these on sale too?"
"No ma'am. The ones that are on sale are in the front, with the sign that says '25% off these two stacks only'"
 

ExplosionProofTaco

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Nov 13, 2008
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While me and my family were in Switzerland, My dad walked into a watch shop and asked for the time. the chick at the counter replied angrily 'VY TO YOU VANT TO KNOW?!'
 
Jul 23, 2008
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Another one.
I was recently made redundant. jolly good laugh and all, our store closed. Big 50% off everything signs everywhere.
You would be surpised how many people can't do simple math. I had people bring up an item, clearly labled £10, and ask me for the price...
 

ward.

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Liverandbacon said:
I've got the impression that the smart employees always get the dumb customers. My theory is that this is because all smart customers do not require employee assistance (unless the store requires it, in which case smart and dumb customer roles are reversed). The only thing I've ever had to ask an electronics store employee is "Excuse me, where's the bathroom?", and even then, only after looking myself.
What you also have to take into a account is that if there where no customers that needed help, most of the people that complain about them wouldn't have a job.
 

WinkyTheGreat

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ward. said:
Liverandbacon said:
I've got the impression that the smart employees always get the dumb customers. My theory is that this is because all smart customers do not require employee assistance (unless the store requires it, in which case smart and dumb customer roles are reversed). The only thing I've ever had to ask an electronics store employee is "Excuse me, where's the bathroom?", and even then, only after looking myself.
What you also have to take into a account is that if there where no customers that needed help, most of the people that complain about them wouldn't have a job.
Unfortunately true. *Sigh* We can't win...
 

Mrsoupcup

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"Why is the Mexican working the register?" I'm Scotish. Dumb Ass, I hate that dick realy I do.
 

hungoverbear

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Mar 8, 2008
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this is deffinetly a stupid customer story. Im the head security at a club that is located in a college town. This past new years eve we were closing up and i was trying to get everyone out of the club when i looked over and saw a girl crying at one of the booths. Some dude was talking to her so i walked over to see what the problem was. The dude said that the girl lost her purse. I rolled my eyes (fourth missing purse of the night) and looked all over the club for the purse, and of course didnt find it. So i walked up to her and said "i'm sorry ma'am i didnt find it, but ill give you our buisness card and you can call us in the morning, you never know it might pop up while we're cleaning the place." So then she really gets upset and i told her that she should call the bank and cancel all her credit and debit cards to which she replied "you dont understand, i had 800 DOLLARS in that purse!!" Trying not to shout HOLY SHIT! i said well were did you see it last? she replied "i put it on the table and then went to go dance". i lost all sympathy for her after that
 

Ibaapzo

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Dec 25, 2008
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WinkyTheGreat said:
ward. said:
Liverandbacon said:
I've got the impression that the smart employees always get the dumb customers. My theory is that this is because all smart customers do not require employee assistance (unless the store requires it, in which case smart and dumb customer roles are reversed). The only thing I've ever had to ask an electronics store employee is "Excuse me, where's the bathroom?", and even then, only after looking myself.
What you also have to take into a account is that if there where no customers that needed help, most of the people that complain about them wouldn't have a job.
Unfortunately true. *Sigh* We can't win...
I don't understand the want of help, though, especially when shopping. Most shops have the means and employees enough to cater to every customer when they need help. However, the questions dumbfound me; most of them seem to just want company. When I shop, I want to be left alone, and if I need something, I'll find you. Easy enough. The want of attention is astounding to me.
 

Duck Sandwich

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Dec 13, 2007
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I've had people ask me a few times at Wal-Mart where (*item x*) is, and I don't work there (and never have).

Moral of the story: Don't wear a blue shirt to Wal-Mart.

While I was buying something in the electronics department at Wal-Mart, and the employee was in the process of scanning the item and giving me the receipt, getting me to sign the receipt, etc., some old lady was trying to get his attention. A few seconds later, she shouted "Hello?" in a rude voice, apparently ignorant of the fact that the employee was occupied.
 

Ibaapzo

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hungoverbear said:
this is deffinetly a stupid customer story. Im the head security at a club that is located in a college town. This past new years eve we were closing up and i was trying to get everyone out of the club when i looked over and saw a girl crying at one of the booths. Some dude was talking to her so i walked over to see what the problem was. The dude said that the girl lost her purse. I rolled my eyes (fourth missing purse of the night) and looked all over the club for the purse, and of course didnt find it. So i walked up to her and said "i'm sorry ma'am i didnt find it, but ill give you our buisness card and you can call us in the morning, you never know it might pop up while we're cleaning the place." So then she really gets upset and i told her that she should call the bank and cancel all her credit and debit cards to which she replied "you dont understand, i had 800 DOLLARS in that purse!!" Trying not to shout HOLY SHIT! i said well were did you see it last? she replied "i put it on the table and then went to go dance". i lost all sympathy for her after that
Sorry if I'm triple-posting here:

Why the hell would you bring $800 to a dance club in the first place? Knowing you had that amount, how could you leave it alone in a dark room full of strangers chaotically moving about?

That's... amazing.
 

Lucane

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Mar 24, 2008
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On Christmas day at my job a customer was complaning that his christmas was ruined by a other guests being loud in his theatre so one my bosses who was being yelled at by him answered with "Sir I'm working on Christmas!!"

Also I've seen people ask me (while in uniform) "Do you work here?" and one case where they asked some one I was talking to (who did work there but wasn't in uniform working that day facing away form him while I was facing his direction) asking if she worked here with a basic follow up question.
 

Frank_Sinatra_

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Dec 30, 2008
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As a vendor you go into different grocery stores and stock (in my case) bread. You in no way represent the store you are stocking from and furthermore it is advised (by your boss) not to look like a employee to that store.

Now that that is under the bridge. I stock mainly for Wal-Mart so Im usually stuck with the inbred shit head shoppers. So Im standing there stocking bread with my mandatory name tag Wal-Mart makes me wear (mind you the name tag says "Sara Lee" not Keenan) and a customer comes up and asks
"Do you work here?"
I take off my name tag show it to them and say
"No! Im here on behalf of Sara Lee. So declares the name tag."
"Oh, Okay"
Not even 2 seconds later a customer who (if they had any brain cells would have heard the conversation) asks me the same question. I respond.
"NO! Do I look like a Wal-Mart employee? No? Well then go and find one that does"
*Shocked look on their face*
I continue. "If you cant find one I'll give you a hint... They wear blue polos."
*Walks away threatening to report me*

Considering that Wal-Mart cant fire me and my boss hates the staff at Wal-Mart Im not going to be fired anytime soon.
 

Liverandbacon

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Nov 27, 2008
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Ibaapzo said:
I get all the sexist customers. Gone are the days I take that bullshit. So many men come in and insist that because I have amazing boobs, I don't know anything about electronics. >.O

I go into a store, and I don't like to be bothered by employees, much like you. I find everything myself, and if I happen to have that rare question, I'll find an employee who doesn't look busy. I hate when customers insist that their problem(s) are more important that whatever manual work you're doing.
Didn't you know? Scientists have discovered a inverse relationship between boob amazingness and electronics knowledge. Therefore it's impossible that you can know anything about what you're selling.

Seriously though, that's a pain. People really do let stereotypes get in the way of common sense.

ward. said:
What you also have to take into a account is that if there where no customers that needed help, most of the people that complain about them wouldn't have a job.
I fully realize the fact that if you get hired in retail, you pretty much have to go in with the knowledge that you are being hired specifically to deal with idiots, but it would be nicer if they were slightly less idiotic (not enough to not need help, but enough to not need help with very stupid things eg. finding the section they're currently in). However, even if only smart customers existed, shoe store employees would be fine, since the customers can't go into the secret back rooms. (On a side note, has anyone else ever imagined that these secret back rooms supposedly full of shoe crates actually hide something far more secret and sinister? No? Only me then...)
 

hungoverbear

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Mar 8, 2008
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Ibaapzo said:
hungoverbear said:
this is deffinetly a stupid customer story. Im the head security at a club that is located in a college town. This past new years eve we were closing up and i was trying to get everyone out of the club when i looked over and saw a girl crying at one of the booths. Some dude was talking to her so i walked over to see what the problem was. The dude said that the girl lost her purse. I rolled my eyes (fourth missing purse of the night) and looked all over the club for the purse, and of course didnt find it. So i walked up to her and said "i'm sorry ma'am i didnt find it, but ill give you our buisness card and you can call us in the morning, you never know it might pop up while we're cleaning the place." So then she really gets upset and i told her that she should call the bank and cancel all her credit and debit cards to which she replied "you dont understand, i had 800 DOLLARS in that purse!!" Trying not to shout HOLY SHIT! i said well were did you see it last? she replied "i put it on the table and then went to go dance". i lost all sympathy for her after that
Sorry if I'm triple-posting here:

Why the hell would you bring $800 to a dance club in the first place? Knowing you had that amount, how could you leave it alone in a dark room full of strangers chaotically moving about?

That's... amazing.
yeah she filed a police report and even the cop said she was a dumbass. God i have a million stories about dumbass/drunk customers. just shout if any of you guys wanna here some really juicy ones.