Stupid Customs

[Mr Pantomime]

My mother scolded me a while ago for using my fork "like a shovel". I asked her how I should do it, and she starts trying to eating things of the convex side of her fork. Furthermore, apparently i'm supposed to eat peas off my knife. Apparently its the "proper" way to eat. Naturally, I ignored this advice, because its completely retarded to eat like that. I could ask you what similar things your family does, but what I really want to know is, does anyone here actually eat like that?

 

[Rawne1980]

The general custom in this house is I sit on my leather recliner, or "The Throne" as I like to call it, while my wife and kids tell me how great I am as the supreme overlord of the house....

Then I wake up and do whatever my wife tells me to.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I don't really have to deal with any of that because my parents have given up trying to integrate me into civilised society. They used to tell me to sit with my feet on the floor. I used to curl up on the chair with my chin on my knees, or sit on my feet while I was eating. I found it more comfortable. I never eat at tables anymore though. I usually eat on my bed while either reading or surfing the internet on my laptop. Although I still sit like that if I eat out.

 

[ripdajacker]

I live with two other dudes in a decent appartment, no table manners required ever. I eat most of my food from paper plates so I don't have to wash dishes.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Furthermore, apparently i'm supposed to eat peas off my knife. Apparently its the "proper" way to eat.

Wait wait... how the hell does that even work?? Stick knife in mouth, cut inside cheek of mouth (presumably) at some point... even worse if you use serrated knives... which most are.

Anyway, I use chopsticks, so I don't give a flying fuck! =P

 

[Agayek]

I live with two other dudes in a decent appartment, no table manners required ever. I eat most of my food from paper plates so I don't have to wash dishes.

So true. Paper plates and plastic utensils make dealing with after-dinner cleanup so much easier.

OT: Some people eat like that definitely. Fortunately for those of us who actually contribute to society though, it's usually restricted to the idiots who've convinced themselves they have something to prove.

I've never really understood the concept of table manners beyond "Don't spill food everywhere". Anything beyond that one simple precept is utterly superfluous and pointless window dressing.

 

[Phasmal]

Me and my boyfriend don't have a table. But our sofa-manners are quite good, except when boyfriend peas on the floor (that joke never gets old, the other day he spilled some peas in the sink while draining them, so I made fun of him all day for pea-ing in the sink. Apparently I am five).

Though, I get where you are coming from, everyone takes issue with the way I sit. I will never hear the end of it. I just dont like sitting down normally.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

My mom used to give me trouble about utensils too as a kid. Always telling me to hold my spoon in such an awkward manner... On the other hand, my brother also disregards her advice, even when she's correcting his use a knife (which he holds in such a bad way, making it HARDER for him to cut, and then he complains that the food is too stiff).

Oh, and my dad is apparently a connoisseur/traditionalist of alcohol. Pour something into wine and he will act like you just stabbed him. Ask for a Rum and Coke to go with your meal, and he will tell you that it "doesn't go together!" and straight up tell you that you're NOT getting that (Despite the fact that I'm 24. And I've HAD rum and coke with a meal before. And it was perfectly good).

There are a lot of other bogus customs I've run into. And I usually call them out when I see them.

 

[Flamezdudes]

I generally go by the principle of:

"As long as it gets into my mouth as un-messily as possible, fuck your eating customs."

I swear, I hardly make a mess at all at the dinner table and yet everyone in my family criticizes me for how I use my knife and fork, even though its fine to me.

 

[ElPatron]

MFurthermore, apparently i'm supposed to eat peas off my knife.

You don't put a knife in your mouth, just like you don't put a gun on your mouth.

Yeah, table knifes are not sharp enough to slice your tongue off, but I'm not comfortable with holding steel blades near my mouth unless I get to be a dentist. Getting hit by a knife in your teeth is worse than being hit by a knife, too.

Oh, and my dad is apparently a connoisseur/traditionalist of alcohol. Pour something into wine and he will act like you just stabbed him.

Uh, if the bottle costs less than 3 euro I honestly don't see how that is wrong. Specially with the kind of crappy wine that is sold for that price to "mask" it as decent.

 

[bobmus]

Yeah my mum was a stickler for stuff like that, as well as 'sitting up straight'. I've long since abandoned her methods and resorted to eating in a polite-yet-efficient.

The only people who would be offended by which way up your fork is are unlikely to be worth eating with anyway.

 

[Bobic]

My mother scolded me a while ago for using my fork "like a shovel". I asked her how I should do it, and she starts trying to eating things of the convex side of her fork. Furthermore, apparently i'm supposed to eat peas off my knife. Apparently its the "proper" way to eat.

Dude, I'm pretty sure you're mother is trolling you, which is hilarious.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

I once had a waitress in China trying to stop me from eating my food in a certain way. I wasn't making a mess I was just trying to dunk my bread in my soup and she's damn near physically restraining me. I was thinking '*****, step off!'

 

[RaffB]

Me and my boyfriend don't have a table. But our sofa-manners are quite good, except when boyfriend peas on the floor (that joke never gets old, the other day he spilled some peas in the sink while draining them, so I made fun of him all day for pea-ing in the sink. Apparently I am five).

Though, I get where you are coming from, everyone takes issue with the way I sit. I will never hear the end of it. I just dont like sitting down normally.

The day that joke stops being funny, I want someone to shoot me..

 

[Necron_warrior]

Opposite with me (kind of) My parents eat normally, while I stick my pinkie out for near everything. Even drinking from a coke bottle, to only using 3 fingers to hold utensils.
It's strange, but it feels right.

 

[J-meMalone]

Opposite with me (kind of) My parents eat normally, while I stick my pinkie out for near everything. Even drinking from a coke bottle, to only using 3 fingers to hold utensils.
It's strange, but it feels right.

Admittedly I have found myself doing the same.

Most of the time, yeah they're absolutely ridiculous to enforce. Peas on the knife? The heck? I remember being told by mother as a kid that was BAD manners, and wondered who would do such a thing. Though some I understand, such as how to hold a knife, it's basically the most efficient way to use one!

 

[DANEgerous]

My dad thinks there should not be sticks in the garden... it is a fucking garden why do you give a shit if it has sticks in it? it is part of nature.

As for the the world as a whole have also always hated cards, they are do damned pointless. Here let me pay for this thin you will throw away 4 seconds after reading it!

 

[Frozen Fox]

My mother scolded me a while ago for using my fork "like a shovel". I asked her how I should do it, and she starts trying to eating things of the convex side of her fork. Furthermore, apparently i'm supposed to eat peas off my knife. Apparently its the "proper" way to eat. Naturally, I ignored this advice, because its completely retarded to eat like that. I could ask you what similar things your family does, but what I really want to know is, does anyone here actually eat like that?

I have to say that if my mom asked me to do that i would ask if i should hole the space end of a shovel and dig with the handle. I mean are these manners made by people on drugs?