Stupid teachers.

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Doopliss64

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Jul 20, 2011
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I feel bad about this because he was actually a pretty nice guy, but...

In English class one year I was writing about the "titular character" of a book (I don't remember which) and he handed it back to me with a big red question mark over the word "titular." Maybe he thought I was talking about boobs or something?
 

Whoatemysupper

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Aug 20, 2010
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My sixth grade teacher:

-Made things up as she went along,
-Mixed up Florida and California,
-Believed Hitler was the leader of the Soviet Union (which still exists),
-Mussolini, the leader of Japan,
-Kicked a student for leaning on her desk while he waited to give her his work,
-Was the grandmother of one of my classmates and always gave her A's or A+'s.
Out of the goodness of my heart I ended up teaching the numbskulls all about 1914-1945 because she messed everything up.

She didn't last long, but every now and then she pops up as a substitute and my brain hurts every class I see her in.
 

Dastardly

Imaginary Friend
Apr 19, 2010
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And this one teacher, I'd ask him for a fish and he wouldn't give it to me. Instead, he'd give me this stick with a string on it. And I'm like, "Jackass, neither of these is a fish." And then he'd make me do these stupid activities like tying the string to the stick, or flicking it to and fro in some hilarious waste of time. He even gave us written instructions so we could "practice." Every damn day. He was probably just marking time 'til retirement. The whole time, we're all like, "Dammit, where's our fish?" But he would just ignore our complaints and give us the whole "You'll get it when you're older" routine.

I finally had to just teach myself how to fish with the stupid instructions. Stupid teacher was a waste of my time, and probably didn't know anything if he could even just give me a fish.
 
Jun 16, 2010
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I went to a public school in North County Dublin; I have one of these stories for pretty much every single day of the 6 years I spent there =P
That place would be the perfect setting for a sitcom about crazy/dumb teachers.

- On graduation night, it's tradition for all the graduating final year students to go out to a nightclub with the teaching staff. It's generally pretty hilarious and a lot of stories come out of it (you'll be hard-pressed to find any Irish person who pays into a bar and doesn't come out blind drunk). But on one occasion, a particular teacher shagged one of his students. Now this probably occasionally happens, but rather than be discrete about it, the genius actually went around bragging to the other teachers. He actually believed that it was perfectly fine because "technically she wasn't my student anymore." The funniest part was that he thought this act was something brag-worthy, rather than something that paints him as a desperate, closeted paedophile who jumps at the first possible opportunity to jump his students.

- Another classic was this legendarily insane woodworking teacher. He was this big, thick, dumb, lower-class Dubliner type who also coached the rugby team. He was renowned for blowing up at troublemakers and actually throwing shit at them or physically intimidating them. Ironically, he was fairly well-respected for being a Tough Crazy Bastard Who You Shouldn't Mess With. There are a hundred stories about him, but the most memorable one was how he lost his coaching job. During a friendly rugby match between our school and another inner-city one which were known to be dirty players, one of the inner-city kids made an illegal tackle (or something like that, I never understood rugby). Rather than appeal to the referee, this guy sprinted out onto the field and punched the kid in the stomach, resulting in a small riot. Which, in our school, is revered as a quasi-heroic act.

- There was also an unfortunate teacher which my class had for Irish, who we drove to a nervous breakdown. She'd spent 20 years teaching kids in the country (who she claimed were far more respectful to the Irish language than us Dubliner brats) had absolutely no idea how to control the class. The reason it got so bad wasn't because we were a bad class (we were probably the most well-behaved in our year), but because the second control started to slip away from her she'd use increasingly draconian punishments. It started with forcing us to write entire chapters word-for-word for minor offences like talking in class, and got worse. Maybe country folk accepted that kind of stuff, but it created an intense atmosphere of rebellion in her class.
One time, we were doing a test, and afterwards she told us all to put them in a neat pile on her desk. But as more and more people put their papers on her desk, the pile got less and less "neat", which evidently drove her insane. She grabbed up all the test papers, and with seething fury crumpled them all into a giant paper ball and stuffed them into her trash bin, then demanded fiercely that we "rummage through her bin, find our paper, and put it back on her desk in a neat pile this time". Naturally, we all said "fuck that" and tried to leave, at which point she ran to the door, physically blocked our exit, and told us that if we tried to leave she would give us zero marks and we would fail her class.
This resulted in a massive shitstorm during which she took a "voluntary leave of absence" for like a month. A lot of parents wanted to see her fired for incompetence but it just doesn't work like that.

I have like 12 more teachers to mention but this post has taken too long to write anyway...
 

Kuroneko97

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Aug 1, 2010
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I remember in fifth grade having to retake a test on the water cycle three times because my class was too stupid to understand it. The teacher even outright told the class, after announcing the third test, that I may not have to take it, since I got 100's on the last two.

Had to take it anyway. Got another 100.

Later in middle school I had a sub for science class. She gives out a handout. I finish it early, so I start drawing some comic I had been working on. Later she gives out another, and I start putting away my sketchbook. She takes it as she reaches my desk, and when some kids speak up, she says it was because I was "drawing while I should have been working."

The thing that infuriated me more was that she was FLIPPING THROUGH IT. It's my fucking personal property, and she's looking at comics I didn't show my closest friends, or my family.

And then there was my 8th grade math teacher. In her class, every day, some dumbass had forgotten their homework at home, but I made sure to have it. So one day, I did forget it. In my locker. I told her this, and she IMMEDIATELY starts ranting on me about how I "always remember my sketchbooks and coloring pencils" and "don't care about school or learning." She didn't yell that much at the kids who forgot it every single day.

I guess my teachers weren't as retarded as some others. Still pissed me off.

I'm already getting too pissed, so I can't talk about that retarded "freshman seminar" teacher whom the school got out of fucking retirement because they realized what a pathetic excuse for a class "freshman seminar" was and couldn't get any decent teachers for it.

Seriously. That woman must have sucked some really powerful cock to have ever become a teacher. Well, maybe not that powerful.

[small] Feels nice to rant sometimes.[/small]
 

GenericAmerican

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Dec 27, 2009
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I went to a Christian Private school from 8th through 12th grade. . .so every single god damn one of those worthless bastards.

The most sheltered, moronic, an phobic of anything that wasn't a Baptist, people you'd ever meet.

We made one cry once. . .and quit his job; best day of my life. *To bad his replacement was the single worst teacher on the planet*

I swear I still have nightmares about that school.
 

DJ_DEnM

My brother answers too!
Dec 22, 2010
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Not a particularily stupid teacher, but a bad one altogether. I made her cry (Not proud of it) because of the argument that you cannot be in a country if you don't know their language. It was a stupid argument in retrospect.
 

kortin

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Mar 18, 2011
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Most of my teachers were rather stupid.

"No, wikipedia is not a valid source of information."

Listen, if you don't want us to use wikipedia, just say it. There is no reason to come up with some bullshit reason for us not to use it.

Also, my 5th grade math teacher was racist. Against white people. It was okay though, until he said something that upset my black friend. Then it really was racism. Remember guys, it's okay to be racist against white people, but if you upset a person of any other skin color, it's racism. Then they looked into his records, found that every single white kid in the class was consistently lower than any other skin color, looked into it more and found that the low grades were not deserved.

He was fired.
 

Psychoninja7

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Nov 11, 2010
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I had a Film Studies teacher. She was horrible and everyone hated her. We usually sat in class and did nothing. At all. She was just bad. We barely even did anything related to film.
But that's not the worst. I had done a piece of work for an assessment (Which we spent weeks on this when we started doing work) and she was saying it was professional looking. A piece of work I had made in five minutes. She said this at LEAST five times in different classes. But she wouldn't take it because it wasn't made in a program for kids. This was secondary school, year nine. I'm not kidding. It was only until the last class did she actually take it.
Dumbass teacher.
 

aba1

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Mar 18, 2010
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School has never been a very strong setting for myself. I make the best strides in a flexible environment. Most teachers have superiority complexes, they have this need to make sure students feel like less than themselves. My problem is in a straight forward sense that I have ADD. ADD sounds like a excuse but it is more of a partial reasoning to my attitude towards life. Teachers never liked that I would so easy get in my own head and not be paying attention to the world around myself. The classroom was simply not stimulating enough to hold my attention so it really did nothing for me and teachers never made a effort to help that.

As far as bad teachers go my second grade teacher is no longer allowed to teach and had her certification removed after verbally and physically abusing students in 3 different schools starting with mine ending in her throwing a chair at a student. I remember she put a kid who came from Poland and barely new any English in the trash can calling him trash.

There was one teacher who would regularly yell at me to walk faster after school hours as I was not walking to his preference.

I also had a vice principle who once grabbed me by the scruff and proceeded to screamed at me because I wasn't walking straight and instead walking around people to make my way down the hall.

My 6th grade gym teacher almost failed me because I had a hard time doing situp's on concrete because it grinded against my tailbone and spine despite my requests to use a mat and the fact I did hundreds of situp's all the time at Judo.

In grade 10 I had my first programming class I was excited until my teacher had very specific indentation rules and refused to help me learn because I didn't use them. Even when I was asking for his help to learn them he would refuse to help me till had had formatted my program. Eventually I learned from a friend but he didn't like that so he moved me to a corner alone so I couldn't get help telling me he refused to let me pass the class. I even copied a friends program exactly except altered variables and he gave me 2/5 and my friend a 4/5 despite them being the same program. Did I mention his son got 100% in the class surprise surprise. Still my vice principle felt I was just lieing student he was the perfect teacher.

I also remember being in elementary school and a teacher kept trying to accuse me of stealing a kids cards despite both me and the kid telling her we were both just playing the card game and not exchanging any cards.

In a similar type incident I got in trouble for beating up a kid once despite never having met the kid in my life. I suspect the kid told the teacher on me for the hell of it and me being older made me the instigator and bully.

I have even more stories ranging from the school steeling students basketballs and soccer balls to not being able to talk to my friend because he was younger than myself.

Some people fit well into the school system I guess I didn't cause I always sorta felt like I had this giant target on my head at all times from everyone. High school was better but College finally feels like true freedom. Finally I can be in a place without prejudice.
 

Dfskelleton

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Apr 6, 2010
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Actually, I did have one who I honestly believe to be bipolar.
No, she was like the POSTER CHILD for bipolar disorder.
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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I had an English teacher in year 6 (aged ten?) and if I had listened to her, I would have had absolutely no interest in creative writing when I got older. (Lost interest now unfortunately, but I was always good at it when I did it, no thanks to her).

She made me fume when she said good stories have no one speaking in them. We had to write stories with no more than one line of dialogue and if it did have speaking in it, she'd fail us. As in, we had to re-write an already established story (a bloody depressing one too, about some little girl who got killed while she was looking for seashells, her body was washed away and never found... Lovely).
It's really hard to write a story with a load of characters who apparently can't interact.
Apparently this wasn't the teaching plan, she just liked implementing her own opinions and teaching s what she thought was right.

Also one I made the smallest mistake. I can't remember quite what it was but I know it was one that was easily done because half the class had done it too. She seemed to think backing me into the corner and literally screaming in my face was the best way to deal with me. I grabbed my stuff and left that class.

I kind of want to get a book published and put "To my year 6 English teacher... FUCK YOU." in the mentions. :p
 

Appleshampoo

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Sep 27, 2010
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I thought I had a terrible Geography teacher back in High school. All he would do was talk about his family and random other things that had nothing to do with Geography. Everyone would makes joke about how his class was so easy as hardly any work ever got done.

Turns out everyone in his classes passed their exams. I have no idea where he slipped the Geography in, but we all knew our stuff when it came time to write it down. Magic teacher is magic.
 

Palademon

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Mar 20, 2010
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All the students in my school on a snowy day spent all day being told off by one slightly improtant teacher, all because he missed the morning meeting that said we were allowed to play in the snow.

He said "You can play when you get home", but no, it melted during the shcool day.
 

Cyfu

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Nov 25, 2010
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Just_A_Glitch said:
Cyfu said:
So in tenth grade we went on a skiing trip. Half way there we were divided into groups of 5 and they said "Ok, there is a storm coming and it will hit in 15 minutes. Make a snow cave big enough for everyone in your group."

So we started digging and when 15 minutes have passed they said that everyone had to get in. It wasn't any room for me so I just stood there and went "oh well.. no big deal"
Well, the teacher didn't agree. He came up to me and ordered me to get in. (I want to stress how little room there was. If I tried I would probably get half of my foot in.) I replied with "are you blind? there no room." I thought that would be enough. but no, he ordered me once again to get into the snow cave. His shouting had gotten the attention of the entire class by now and everyone was just staring at us. I refused but that didn't stop him from getting up in my face and ordering me again. Now I was sick of this asshole so I replied "Are you retarded? there's no room." You can probably guess what happened next. yep, he ordered me again. Now I was really getting sick of him so I said to him, I think I might have yelled because I was pretty angry at this point."Are you fucking stupid? Can't you see that there isn't any room? Are you fucking high?"
His response was to threatening to send me home. After that another teacher came over and stopped him.

so anyone else had a retarded teacher?
Your group should have planned better and reworked your little cave to accommodate everyone. And from the sounds of it, you came off as the hostile one initially. He didn't handle it well either, but you certainly didn't seem to make any effort to do your part. If I had been that other teacher who stopped him, I probably would have sent you home, or punished you in some way, for being so disrespectful.

As for me, I had one teacher give me a detention for playing a game installed on a school computer (that old pinball one). She said I was downloading something or some bullshit. The dumb part about it was that everyone next to me was playing the same game.
Well, that the difference from Norwegian school and probably the rest of the world. The "you have to respect your teacher" shit is None-existant.
which is why I don't understand anyone who wants to become a teacher in Norway.
And that teacher was an asshole. I mean this guy was the biggest asshole known to man.

Which reminds me of an other story, with the same teacher.
This wasn't my class though, but he was their gym teacher. He took the class back to his own house and got the class to clean his back yard after he had some renovation done to his house.
Who does that?!
 

Jolly Co-operator

A Heavy Sword
Mar 10, 2012
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She wasn't entirely stupid, but there was an incident with my 5th grade teacher. We were doing a short unit on astronomy and the various constellations. While she was naming them, she would regularly come across ones that she didn't know, and would just lie and say that the particular constellation just didn't have a name. (I had been playing Megaman Starforce at that point in my life, so I already had a slight interest in constellations.) Whenever I would correct her, she would get REALLY pissed. I wasn't even being a smart-ass about it, even though it was tempting when she couldn't even name Cygnus or Lyra. I don't expect her to know every single constellation (I certainly don't know them all), but Cygnus and Lyra are pretty basic ones. I eventually got kicked out for "being disruptive" (Even though I raised my hand and waited to be called on before correcting her each time.)

The ironic thing is, she would always rant about how video games never taught us anything ;P
 

Exocet

Pandamonium is at hand
Dec 3, 2008
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I had a music teacher when I was 14...Wow

Basically, you went in her classroom that REEKED of dried up sweat, then a large woman with a heavy eastern European accent would hand out random sheets of music for us to sing. Never any lessons, just take this and sing you little shits.

Then, after 30 minutes, she would pick a name out of a hat and give an oral quiz.

First, she made us repeat a tempo by tapping on the table. So far, nothing bad, until you realized that she was extraordinarily sexist, and would pass girls, even if they fucked up so badly it made the class laugh, and would fail the boys, even if they got it spot on.
After that, it was a random question about music history. Again, the girls got easier questions, like in what century did x person compose symphonies.
The boys got shit like: where was performed x symphony for the first time in front of the King of Spain.
What the flying fuck.
But the worst part is that even if she didn't know your name, she knew you, and if she didn't like you, she would basically forge your grades to fail you.

The school didn't react because that grade was basically for show, and didn't even count in the final grade. It was just a pissing contest to see who would get the lowest grade without actually trying to fail.

The only good thing she ever did was decide not to work one week by making us bring instruments or sing any song we chose in front of the class. We all had a good laugh, we all sucked.

She was eventually fired for striking a student.
 

Lizardon

Robot in Disguise
Mar 22, 2010
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In Year 4 (age 9) I had a teacher who could be best described as a hippy. Lessons included recycling the paper we'd used for work by adding water and turning it into a paper pulp, pouring it into moulds to dry and being left with something you couldn't physically write on. We even had a class excursion to a local worm farm, which inspired him to set one up in our class room. So our room smelt like compost and it was some lucky persons job to collect the worm ... ummm ... juice each day and poor in on all the plants in the room.

Instead of actually teaching us maths, English, science or anything relevant, he just gave us 2 or 3 booklets of worksheets that he wanted us to do one page a week for a year. But the stuff was mainly basic multiplication and reading comprehension, so I did it in the first week. When I asked him for something else to do, he said that was it and he couldn't find anything for me to do.

But the reason I hated him was that he wanted our school to have a "Peace Garden". And the planned to achieve this by using the kids in his class as manual labour. So everyday for half of the year he would take us down to the chosen area and have the other kids dig holes, plant saplings, cart around wheelbarrows of manure for fertiliser etc. I say the other kids as I flat out refused to do gardening at school. He tried everything to get me to help and when that failed he kept trying to come up with ways to keep me involved in the project, like keep a diary of our progress or run messages around, so he wouldn't have to organise something else for me to do. It ended up with him organising a meeting with my patents. He told them that I was being difficult, disruptive and disrespectful and my mum's response was "No shit, you're trying to get him to make a garden". After that he gave up and I got to sit under a tree for the rest of the year.
 

Wolf In A Bear Suit

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Jun 2, 2012
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We had an English teacher this year who was quite amusing. She was really dumb and too nice to be a teacher to a bunch of teenage boy's. For instance when she showed up late for class one day we decided we would have a sleep class. So when the teacher walked in we had our heads down and refused to agknowledge her for the rest of the class, despite her various effort's.