Stupid things you believed as a kid

[kyuzo3567]

If it counts.... my girlfriend believed that the more milk she drank as a child, the bigger her chest would be after puberty... I'f I didn't know any better I'd say it was true

 

[darlarosa]

By collecting enough spit and scabs I could collect enough DNA to clone myself...by combining it with a goldfish I could make fishmen....yeah

 

[Ieyke]

i had a female friend who was unaware that men and women had different sexual organs...

haha kids-

[quote/] until she was 18

THE FUCK!!???


[quote/]that is a 100% true story and the lady in question is far from mentally challenged, she just led a sheltered life

sheltered? more like sealed inside an airtight time capsule and buried under 100feet of concrete...

seriously though there is somthing SERIOUSLY wrong there..how could you not figure it out in 18 years of life? didnt she SEE that men don't have breasts.?..can't she see there is a bulge there when men wear tight pants? did she never watch a damn movie with a rating over G? what the hell is up with the parents?

OT: that women and men are seen as eaqual in our society

Got another pretty common one, always flirted with the notion that i was the only real human on earth and everyone else was a robot or part of some elaborate dream, still think like that sometimes

isnbt that what they call sociopathy? or psychopathy?

Solipsism[/quote]

Er well fuck thats a new diagnosis for me! Thanks a lot!

Also you might want to add some more words (like a full definition of solipsism) to your posts so that the mods dont come after you.[/quote]
That's not a "diagnosis". Solipsism is a philosophy AND it's the ONLY valid point of view.
The only thing that you can know exists is yourself, because you think.

"Cogito Ergo Sum" - "I Think, Therefore I Am"

All other things that we experience can't be proven to exist. They could all be illusions or figments of our imaginations.
You can't even prove your own physical form exists, sine you could be imagining that too. Only your own mind can be proven TO YOU that it exists, because as it thinks, it is aware that it thinks, and in order to think it must therefor exist.

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

Well there's the basic ones:
Santa Claus
Easter Bunny
Tooth Fairy
God (only believed it because of the weekly RE teachers in school and all the bullshit guilt trips)

Then there's these.
Babies came out from the girl's belly button. (Thanks Denace the Menace)
I always healed from sores and illnesses really quickly and I thought my 'parents' were monitoring me and planning on taking me iin to a secret laboratory so that they could harvest and study my blood for it's healing properties.
Thought I was in the Matrix and everyone else was just AI that I interacted with and scientists were studying my interactions with them. (Before I ever watched the matrix)

Not exactly something I believed, but I could never pronounce 'yellow'. It always came out as lellow.

EDIT: And that my mum and dad would some day get back together... ouch.

Also that everyone was good and always thought things out including how it would impact other people. Basically I thought everyone was good and just sometimes mistaken.
I think that illusion truly broke after I watched Fox News on Youtube. Now I'm sceptical as all hell and trust no one until I can ascertain what kind of person they are for sure.

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

He basically said the earth was formed because The autobots and decepticons fought. They fought this final battle and it ended with EVERY Decepticon and Autobot punching with all the power they had at the same time. Strangely, all their fists collided with one another and this caused an explosion so great it not only destroyed both of them but it caused the remains of the autobots and decepticons to become the planets and the moon. He explained the sun was what was left of the explosion, and that because all planets are made from the autobots AND decepticons that it was the source of all the metal in the world.

I finally found a religion that speaks to me, thank you prophet! Now I gotta figure out how to have services...

OT:I honestly believed that my parents knew everything in the entire world and were infallible. That may be common as it helps their raising sink in. Until I was about 8 my alarm clock scared the hell out of me, because I knew that one day Scorpion would pull me out of bed with his spear and a "Get over here!". On very rare occasions this rears its ugly head again.

 

[DanielBrown]

I believed snow came from Saturnus rings for a while.
Can thank a retarded teacher, who didn't know kids doesn't understand sarcasm, for that.

 

[triggrhappy94]

I believed in Star Wars. This was in the period between 2 and 3, and I was still pretty young.
Being secretly special with some kind of hidden organization waiting for me to get older to tell just how special I was (like believing in Star Wars) was a common theme in my day dreams as a kid.

 

[triggrhappy94]

When I was little my parents told me that toothpaste was poisonous and swallowing any would make me sick. It made brushing my teeth a very stressful experience for several years.

Wait, but isn't floride poisoness? There's something in touthpaste you're not supposed to eat a lot off, because there are poison control warnings on it.

 

[Dangit2019]

I used to think that all environmentalists wiped their ass with their finger to save paper.

That's what happens when you brainwash your child with political messages they don't understand.

 

[thiosk]

That everything is composed of some sort of tiny indivisible units and that life builds on itself, changing and adapting to new circumstances, over billions of years.

I now know and understand that its all a grand masonic conspiracy to take our guns away. FREEDOM

 

[Ix Rebound]

i believed that hiccups made you taller (and im ashamed for how long i believed that)
i also believed that seagulls grew to be pelicans, pokemon style
if someone injected me with lizard DNA and doused me in radiation, i would turn into godzilla!

 

[Snownine]

i had a female friend who was unaware that men and women had different sexual organs until she was 18
the way she found out was a male friend of hers convinced her his job was "banana bender" and made her reach into his pants to prove it

that is a 100% true story and the lady in question is far from mentally challenged, she just led a sheltered life

This post deeply saddens me. That is a massive fail on the part of her family and it also speaks volumes about her. How could anyone be so imperceptive of the world they live in?

Edit: OT: When I was a kid I thought gay men had sex by rubbing their penises together.

 

[krazykidd]

If you were going to Antarctica you had to wear suction cups on your feet or you'd fall into space. Also that the world was a hollow sphere of water and when you were under the ocean, you were inside the Earth. Both at age 4. I also wanted to be a tiger when I grew up.

We'll call you " Tiger festival" !

OT: My friend at school convinced me he was a triplet , and every day at school one of his brothers replace him. Their names were cene , ceno and cena.

 

[TheAmokz]

I thought that dragons used to exist but had been hunted down to extinction by humans.

 

[Angie7F]

I was scared to flush the toilet because I though I will fall into it or something. LOL

 

[Auron225]

3. The Christian God - Believing in a nigh omniscient patriarch who punishes you for being naughty and rewards you for being nice. Silly parents, that's not a good way to get your children to act good.

*slow clap*

Congratulations - we got a whole 0 posts without unnecessary sectarianism -.-

I was under the impression I put one hell of a lot of thought into what I accept as reality.
But I guess you do know more about me than I do.

There is no defence for this - christianity is a belief held by millions and to dismiss it as stupid is ignorant and malicious. If you're not a christian, then fine - but you don't have to spit in the face of those who are when you haven't even been provoked. It amazes me how racism is shunned, we're so far past sexism that we actually still joke about it since we all know it's gone; yet its practically a sport to target christians with as much hatred as possible. Not even other religions so much - nope, just that one is fine.

 

[Ultress]

I thought that since I could see the people on the TV that they could see me

When my mom turned forty she told me she was thirty and I believed her because I'd never given a crap about how old she was till then.

 

[Ieyke]

3. The Christian God - Believing in a nigh omniscient patriarch who punishes you for being naughty and rewards you for being nice. Silly parents, that's not a good way to get your children to act good.

*slow clap*

Congratulations - we got a whole 0 posts without unnecessary sectarianism -.-

I was under the impression I put one hell of a lot of thought into what I accept as reality.
But I guess you do know more about me than I do.

There is no defence for this - christianity is a belief held by millions and to dismiss it as stupid is ignorant and malicious. If you're not a christian, then fine - but you don't have to spit in the face of those who are when you haven't even been provoked. It amazes me how racism is shunned, we're so far past sexism that we actually still joke about it since we all know it's gone; yet its practically a sport to target christians with as much hatred as possible. Not even other religions so much - nope, just that one is fine.

It doesn't help Christians that so many of them literally believe so strongly in the veritable nonsense that fills so much of the Bible. A great many other religious groups will tend to admit that they believe in their deities, but the actual stories themselves are something they regard as mere parables, no more true than Aesop's Fables - simply fairy tales designed to succinctly illustrate a point and teach a lesson.

And then there are Christian extremists who run around spouting off enough annoying nonsense that they'd be put down, were it not illegal.

Honestly, no, it's not ignorant or malicious to dismiss Christianity as stupid when it boils right down to it.
There are so many things illogical and self-contradicting in many of the most fundamental concepts. Though the same can be said for pretty much all organized/semi-organised religions and their various myths.
The notion of gods and divine powers, fine. Nothing you can prove remotely wrong or silly in the overall idea, but the more and more elaborate a religion gets, and the more claims its mythology makes, the easier it is to find all the ways it simply doesn't line up with logic and reality, and the ways in which it is self-contradicting.

I have no criticisms of Christians who essentially just believe in the lessons that Bible parables are designed to teach, and that there might be an all-powerful being that is ultimately responsible for the physical laws that govern the universe.

The same can be said about Hellenists. If they believe in the lessons taught in Greek myths, and maybe that the universe is ultimately run by gods that embody hundreds of personified concepts and phenomena, so be it. The ones who believe the Earth suffered through the Titanomachia and that winter happens because Demeter misses Persephone....that's daft.

 

[Auron225]

It doesn't help Christians that so many of them literally believe so strongly in the veritable nonsense that fills so much of the Bible. A great many other religious groups will tend to admit that they believe in their deities, but the actual stories themselves are something they regard as mere parables, no more true than Aesop's Fables - simply fairy tales designed to succinctly illustrate a point and teach a lesson.

And then there are Christian extremists who run around spouting off enough annoying nonsense that they'd be put down, were it not illegal.

Honestly, no, it's not ignorant or malicious to dismiss Christianity as stupid when it boils right down to it.
There are so many things illogical and self-contradicting in many of the most fundamental concepts. Though the same can be said for pretty much all organized/semi-organised religions and their various myths.
The notion of gods and divine powers, fine. Nothing you can prove remotely wrong or silly in the overall idea, but the more and more elaborate a religion gets, and the more claims its mythology makes, the easier it is to find all the ways it simply doesn't line up with logic and reality, and the ways in which it is self-contradicting.

I have no criticisms of Christians who essentially just believe in the lessons that Bible parables are designed to teach, and that there might be an all-powerful being that is ultimately responsible for the physical laws that govern the universe.

The same can be said about Hellenists. If they believe in the lessons taught in Greek myths, and maybe that the universe is ultimately run by gods that embody hundreds of personified concepts and phenomena, so be it. The ones who believe the Earth suffered through the Titanomachia and that winter happens because Demeter misses Persephone....that's daft.

At what point did I prove myself to be a christian extremist? You cannot treat every christian you meet like one. Its stereotyping to assume all christians are like that. There is a very good reason to not assume all black people steal - it's called racism. Much like there is a fantastic reason to not treat any christian you meet like they're trying to shove the bible down your throat and burn gay people for fun - that one is sectarianism. They both have something in common - unprovoked, irrational hatred to a group of people for unacceptable reasons. I know that there are christian extremists but in my mind, a lot of them aren't christian. Anybody can call themselves christian and do things in the name of it but a lot of them are missing the point. The extremists are the ones who are on the news so they are the only ones society gets to see in action - precisely because they ARE extreme and doing something news worthy. Something that usually isn't looked upon kindly by anyone. Nobody thinks of the charity work done by many when they think of christians - only as people who tell you you're going to hell and as priests that molest children. You're judging millions of individuals based on the actions of a few.

(Also, I know non-christians and people of all religions do charity work - I'm not claiming its exclusive to christianity. However, a lot christians do charity work as it's woven into the belief very heavily.)

Look at it this way; if in the original post "The Christian God" was replaced with "Muslim Beliefs", would it still look harmless? What about "Buddhism" or "Islam"? Even Athiests defend their beliefs but when its christianity? Not a chance. Someone in a crowd need only mention they're a christian and they'd get verbally or emotionally assaulted.

And in any case, to insult someone and make fun of what they believe in ANY religion is just being an asshole. It doesn't matter what it is - there is NEVER a good reason to do it.

 

[Arakasi]

3. The Christian God - Believing in a nigh omniscient patriarch who punishes you for being naughty and rewards you for being nice. Silly parents, that's not a good way to get your children to act good.

*slow clap*

Congratulations - we got a whole 0 posts without unnecessary sectarianism -.-

I was under the impression I put one hell of a lot of thought into what I accept as reality.
But I guess you do know more about me than I do.

There is no defence for this - christianity is a belief held by millions and to dismiss it as stupid is ignorant and malicious. If you're not a christian, then fine - but you don't have to spit in the face of those who are when you haven't even been provoked. It amazes me how racism is shunned, we're so far past sexism that we actually still joke about it since we all know it's gone; yet its practically a sport to target christians with as much hatred as possible. Not even other religions so much - nope, just that one is fine.

But it is very clearly stupid. I don't give a single shit if it is held dear by millions, it's wrong, morally abhorrent and bad influence on many people.
As for me being ignorant and malicious, again, I have put great thought into this, I am no two-bit dime store athesit who can spouse nothing but hatred. Hell, I've done a university theology course in the psychology of religion wherein I primarily focused on Christianity, and the lecturer (who happened to be a Christian Priest) found my insight facinating.
The reason I was tollerated by the priest/lecturer was that I was not malicious towards the people of the religion, but instead I see the people as victims of their religion, worthy of help and/or pity.
I don't hate religious people. I am disgusted with religion.

As for picking specifically on Christianity, it's difficult not to, seeing how in a Western country it is the one I am bombarded with the most, believe me when I say I hold equal, if not more, contempt for Islam.
Also, sexism and racism is far from over, you may want to rexamine your views on that.