Stupidist things youve heard people say

[Daystar Clarion]

If you're using a console you will only ever get 30FPS(if you're lucky). Sorry.

Counter ignorance with more ignorance?

I like it


OT: One of my roomies at university was the worst kind of idiot. The kind that thinks she's always right and flips her shit 'if you dare question her'.

She thought our patio was wet because, and I quote, 'It absorbed the water from next door's patio.'


...

Wat

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

I accidentally quoted the wrong person, my bad.

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

Me: "blah blah Asian people, like Ghandi/Jesus/Stalin"
Tim: "Ghandi/Jesus/Stalin isn't Asian"
Me: "He was born in India/Nazareth/Georgia. Which is in Asia"
Tim: "But that doesn't mean he is Asian"

Also:
Me: "Welcome to our school new kid. What is that flag on your backpack?"
New kid: "Oh, its the flag of Egypt. My parents are from there."
Me: "So that means that (joking tone) you are African American?"
New kid: "(joking tone) yep.I get that a lot."
Tom: "She is not African American."

Bob: "Obama isn't black. Not like Frederick Douglas" (we had learned earlier that same day that Frederick Douglass's dad was his master.)

Georgia actually counts as a part of Europe, as does Armenia and Azerbaijan, so you are actually wrong in saying Stalin was Asian, no offense.

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

I was on a skiing-trip with my school and me and two friends were talking about snowboards. I jokingly said that they would be more efficient if you split them in two and made each part long and thin, referring to skis. One of my friends got really confused and didn't understand what I meant, so I explained it very thoroughly. Her response:
"But then it wouldn't be a snowboard."
After a little while she realized that I was talking about skis and we all laughed about it and skipped into the sunset hand in hand.

 

[JDLY]

Anything a feminist or other liberal has ever said, well not everything, like please pass the salt, but everything besides that.

You're bashing liberals? On the escapist? Well good luck with that. Let me please redirect you here:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/528.336813-Poll-Conservative-or-Liberal?view_results=1

Just check the poll results.
Note: I couldn't find the forum I was actually looking for, where there was a link to a quiz and it placed you on a graph given your results. I'd say 95% of the people who posted their results were at least moderately liberal.

OT: I was had somebody ask me how much was a gram of something. I gave her several examples using things around us, like how a small single ply napkin was on the order of 3-5 grams.

Turns out she was asking about volume. As in "How much volume is a gram of salt." or something like that. When I attempted to explain that that was entirely relevant on the material, such that a gram of lead would be a very small pellet, and a gram of air takes up several milliliters, she simply shrugged and stopped paying attention.

 

[[REDACTED]]

10*10=10

*sitting on a bus in Honolulu when a tourist gets on and asks the bus driver*

"Do you take AMERICAN dollars?"

What is so dumb about this?

He was in Honolulu. He wanted to know whether they used American dollars. IN AMERICA.

 

[6_Qubed]

Well, while I was on delivery I heard a guy listening to Fox News and...

...I think I'll just stop there.

 

[Arcadian Legend]

Way back in my last year of High School there was a girl who didn't know who and what the Prime Minister was. Pretty much the entire class erupted in facepalms. I'm probably thinking of another person when I say this also but the same girl also couldn't locate the UK on a map.

I wonder what that girl is doing now.

Captcha: Sorry Dave. My name's not Dave Captcha. :/

 

[Bad Jim]

"What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?"
The answer is both weigh the same, but it you answer quickly, you will instinctively say bricks right? Well a friend answered with feathers, we asked him why and he said "well, feather weigh a lot when they are together" What?

The word ton has several meanings. It can be a unit of weight, but it can also be a measure of volume, in which case the bricks are a lot heavier.

Beware that the metric tonne is a measurement of mass, rather than weight. In this case the feathers may have the same mass but because they displace more of the Earths' atmosphere they will weigh less. A blimp can have a mass of one tonne and have a negative weight.

You can also baffle people with "What weighs more, a pound of gold or a pound of feathers?" Because the gold is weighed in troy pounds, which are lighter than the more common avoirdupois pounds that the feathers would be measured in, the feathers will indeed be heavier.

 

[Tomster595]

On my school bus when I was a senior in high school:

Freshman girl 1: "So you know how dogs need to fuck each other in the asses to have babies?"
Freshman girl 2: "Yea"
Freshman girl 1: "Do you think if a guy fucked a dog in the ass they'd have half man half dog babies?"
Freshman girl 2: "Wow, yea, probably."

My mind was blown

 

[Mersadeon]

In my free time, I give private lessons in almost any subject. A little note before we start: I live in Germany.
One of the guys I give lessons to, he must be around 14, once asked me "Who is Hitler?". A bit flabbergasted, I asked him back "You... don't know who Hitler is?".
Then he asked "Well... eh, isn't he the guy that the Jews worship?"

Yup. He said that.

To his defense, though, he didn't know much about history in general. I actually gave him a two hour version of the history of mankind. My voice was gone from talking so fast, desperately trying to cover everything at least a bit.

But he later asked something else, when we came to the topic of WWI. "So... in a war, they fight every day? Without break?" "Yeah, every day." "But at night everyone sleeps, right? But what if one side attacks while the other guys sleep?"
It's like he thinks nobody ever thought of that. Kinda cute, actually.

(Also, he loves to play Call of Duty and Medal of Honor games. I remember that back in my days of Call of Duty 2, it actually prompted me to research everything about WWII even before school really tried to teach us.)

 

[anti movie bob]

"Can you go to university for modelling?"

Good thing the girl who said that is good looking cause she doesnt have many smarts

 

[The Wooster]

"Why don't Africans just drink the sea?" A girl in my college English class.

 

[TomLikesGuitar]

I was trying to hit on this cute girl who was wearing a Green Lantern shirt and the conversation went just like this:

Me: "I like your shirt, are you really into Green Lantern?"

Her: "Yeah!"

Me: "Who's your favorite Green Lantern?"

Her: "Ryan Reynolds."

"Who's your favorite Green Lantern?" is the probably the worst pick-up line I've ever heard dude.

 

[Platypus540]

During study hall a couple weeks ago, someone had a long argument with me about how he thought that on 9/11, the US government fired a missile at the pentagon (instead of the plane that hit it) because there were 10 temp workers who had embezzled billions of dollars from the Department of Defense.

He honestly thought that: The US military fired a ballistic missile at its own headquarters to kill some embezzlers.

This argument lasted for a solid half hour, despite the idiocy of the theory, the goddamn videos of the plane crashing, and the fact that a lot of people died from the plane crash itself.

That was a pretty hilarious study hall, my friends and I had many a laugh.

 

[Flame9006]

"Canada is bordered by which two oceans?"
Note this was said by a Canadian
Everyone involved had a good laugh about it.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

snip

Wait. You guys dont add tax to the shown price?

Why the hell not?

Cause we just know theres tax. *shrug*

It's not really disorientating, you just always account for it.

 

[Judgement101]

"It's cold as Hell in here" to which people say "Hell is hot!" I go by The Inferno's version of Hell, WHICH IS COLD! Seriously, I hate my group of friends. The reason this is supid is because ALL OF THEM HAVE READ THE INFERNO!

 

[bigfatcarp93]

In Middle School, I used to ride the bus with this DUMB AS FUCKING BRICKS kid named Gabe, who said the most profoundly stupid things I've ever heard. I can't remember most of it these days, but among it was:

"If I lost my arm, that would be awesome, because then I could get a prosthetic arm that's super-strong!"

Also, his ever-insightful belief that, and I shit you not, he actually believed this, Evolution in real life worked the same way it did in Pokemon.