Surprisingly Useless Characters

[Darquenaut]

Really, I can simply say ANY game in which I have an AI buddy or buddies, said "buddies" are the most useless lumps of programming. If I'm not babysitting them and making sure they aren't using up all the ammo and/or health, it's taking care of all the enemies for them while they sit back, take a few shots, pause... pause some more, another shot... etc. And of course, if they die, well then Game Over for you, sport! You allowed natural selection to take its course!

The only exceptions to this rule being some of your secondaries in Mass Effect 2 and Fawkes from Fallout 3.

 

[Robert632]

-sniped-


Did someone say infinite undiscovery? Let's have primary and secondary characters, where the secondary characters can never be in your main party. Now let's have a big stupid dog that takes up two slots in your party and really has no real use. Then again, the suikoden games have been guilty of this for years. Two slot beasts will never make the cut when you can have separate guys each with their own abilities.

Lets not forget Balbagon, The guy who leaves partway throught the game, and thus loses HOURS he could have been leveling up, then shows up again near the end of the game. And his fucking jump roll attack that never seemed to hit.

 

[The Warden]

G0-T0 and T3-M4.
G0-T0 is annoying and just fucking useless, but T3-M4 just seems like wasted potential, I'm talking about the first games T3. I mean, yeah, he got you in the base, but for the rest of the game he's just kind of...there. He has barely any dialogue, he's not very good in combat, no, correction, he's awful in combat, and he really lacks personality which makes me come close to just referring to him as 'it'. However, in the second game, they really changed him for the better. He's way more involved, he's way more useful, and he has a personality.

 

[xvbones]

I don't really understand how "all" of the characters in a game could be useless, since you're bound to end up playing as some of them if you play the game at all. This smacks of mindless anti-fandom, which I suppose is a step up from mindless fandom.

I will admit I hated FF 9 with a violent, blinding passion. I disliked, fervently, every single one of the characters and wanted bad things to happen to them. This was the game I meant, with the fully useless character roster, but not useless as in 'has no use' more useless as in 'why is there no button to fill this man-child's skull with ants.'

The comment was not 'mindless anti-fandom' so much as 'I really did not enjoy FF 9.'

You didn't even like Freya or never got that far?

I don't recall a Freya, so it's likely I just never got that far.

 

[Bek359]

The Adoring Fan in Oblivion. The fact that he respawns every few days is just proof that Bethesda hates us...

Somehow in one of my files he stopped respawning after the first time I killed him. It was awesome.

 

[NKRevan]

That mutant friend of yours in Fallout 3. Can't remember his name, but wow. He really, really made me hate the entire game with his uselessness.

Seriously. He's immune to radiation and when I ask him to kindly flip a switch (in a radiation flooded chamber) so no one has to die doing it he just says "Nope, screw you!".

Whaaaaaat?

 

[Misho-]

So I'm replaying Chrono Trigger for the umpteen quingigillionth time, trying to maximize characters other than Crono, Robo, and Ayla, and I've realized that Magus is surprisingly useless. He's a one-trick pony. He blasts magic, and that's it. Luminaire is better than Dark Matter, and Lucca's Flare seems equivalent. Robo's Shock may be equivalent, but doesn't need to be, since Robo can heal and do decent damage to a single opponent. Then there's the fact that he was far more badass long before joining your crew.

So, the question is, what other characters were supposed to be awesome, but were, in truth, the weakest character in the game?

My team wa Chrono, Magus and Frog and I used to make that game my ***** so it depends on personal taste...

In my case a surprisingly useless character was Jacob from ME2... Oh you good for nothing soldier...

 

[Aeshi]

Horazon the Summoner from Diablo II.

He's supposed to be this ancient badass wizard who's so powerful that he manages to evade the forces of Hell for centuries while still managing to kidnap them for use as his slaves.

Then you meet him and he's a weakling who dies in about 2 hits and runs into melee instead of hanging back and using his (somewhat decent) spells. The only reason he even qualifies as a boss is because he's surrounded by about 10 Ghoul Lords, who unlike him can actually take hits as well as actually being smart.

 

[LogicNProportion]

Aeris.

I'm glad that ***** died

I AGREE!
Also throw in everyone else from Final Fantasy VII except Zack. He was a one man army. The rest were useless fools.

Wow, I thought I was gonna die since i forgot my flame shield but......... a positive on this? Have the fanboys come to their senses?!

All seriousness, i really thought i was gonna get flamed

I'm not even mad.

And while I'm not gonna flame, Imma' at least pick on the Aeris thing.

*Ahem* Throughout the series, Phoenix Downs cure KO's. Death is not a KO. Problem solved.

As for being on topic?

Going by the definition of 'useless' I can not think of any character that fits this, because even horrible characters have a purpose of being an example of what NOT to do. They are your warning lights. Just because sharks don't benefit you, does not make them useless.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I guess thsi something that makes them sort of useless...Any dps character I try to make, If I even THINK about making it out of a character that can heal, Epic two handed halfing Paladin in DDO, Shaman in WOW. I end up healing. Every time. I hate my friends sometimes. =.= Why do they take advantage of my maternal insticts QQ.

Oh and that wierd cook thing out of Final Fantasy 9. What was that I don't even...

 

[Dr. Feelgood]

Grunt in Mass Effect 2. No wait, I guess he he could be used as a bad example...

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I guess thsi something that makes them sort of useless...Any dps character I try to make, If I even THINK about making it out of a character that can heal, Epic two handed halfing Paladin in DDO, Shaman in WOW. I end up healing. Every time. I hate my friends sometimes. =.= Why do they take advantage of my maternal insticts QQ.

Oh and that wierd cook thing out of Final Fantasy 9. What was that I don't even...

Quina, you're supposed to use its eat ability to learn other monsters attacks, accumulating a pretty substantial range for a variety of enemy types. Although personally, I couldn't be arsed with that and just stuck to grinding the hell out of Zidane, Vivi, Steiner and Garnet.

 

[Icaruss]

Wakka from FF10 his this huge Superhero bodied dude but his attacks are weak his and specials are meh.. his only somewhat useful for the first Five Min's of the game before you get Lulu(Far and away my favorite character in the game) who toasts basically everything.

 

[Icaruss]

Grunt in Mass Effect 2. No wait, I guess he he could be used as a bad example...

Hows he useless he's a walking Homicidal Reptilian tank.

 

[Free Thinker]

well-needed Bioware snip.

With all my knowledge from Dragon Age 2 acquired on the Qunari, the Qun, and their values. I could not, for the life of me, make Sten happy in DA:O! He doesn't even offer anything asides being one of the 2-handed weapon warriors. At least Oghren is a Beserker, hilarious, and easy to please. I know booze makes Oghren happy, books for Wynne, necklaces for Morrigan, religious crap for Leliana, but Sten doesn't like anything I get him. He's also a bland character who I felt was only put in to piss you off to no end.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

well-needed Bioware snip.

With all my knowledge from Dragon Age 2 acquired on the Qunari, the Qun, and their values. I could not, for the life of me, make Sten happy in DA:O! He doesn't even offer anything asides being one of the 2-handed weapon warriors. At least Oghren is a Beserker, hilarious, and easy to please. I know booze makes Oghren happy, books for Wynne, necklaces for Morrigan, religious crap for Leliana, but Sten doesn't like anything I get him. He's also a bland character who I felt was only put in to piss you off to no end.

Really? Me and Sten were bros. Got +20 out of a conversation with him one time. And when I got his sword back the guy officially loved me. Great DPS warrior.

 

[Dr. Feelgood]

Grunt in Mass Effect 2. No wait, I guess he he could be used as a bad example...

Hows he useless he's a walking Homicidal Reptilian tank.

I found that most of the time he got too aggressive and charged at enemies. My statement is also due to the fact that the last time I played the game was on Insanity difficulty.(you know, the difficulty where most party members are useless.)

 

[Ordinaryundone]

Garrus in Mass Effect 1. His AI itself is no worse than the other companions, but he has no survivability at all. He can only wear Medium Armor, and has no other ability to raise his defense like barrier or fortitude. Its surprising because he's the only character to be in this situation, even though his background implies more experience and ability than he is portrayed with.

 

[Raddra]

Magikarp is a giant pile of suck. It can't even hurt anything until level 15, and even then it still sucks something fierce.[/spoiler]

Magikarp begs to differ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye7b3bOQ6lY