Tales from the unmuted mic.

[FPLOON]

Well, the most recent was when I was doing some random trading on X/Y with this other black guy using Game Chat close to midnight two nights ago... Apparently, this dude was talking to like his roommates or something, saying how he was going to trade Pokemon with "another ******"... I'm not sure if he knew how much the 3DS mic picks up, but it made me chuckle a little since it's been a while since being called a "******" and be like "Yes, I am black... What gave it away?"

Also, when I was playing some of the online multiplayer on God of War: Ascension, I was on this random team where I was the only one not using a mic to communicate, so hearing these dudes talking like their sniping other players using "360 no scope" most of the time... until one Capture The Flag match on the Labyrinth Of Daedalus. They immediately changed the topic to "How the hell did that dude [pertaining to me this time] already grab all three flags? Who is this mother fucker?" after the match. What's funny is that they all acted like unintentional decoys as I just kept sneaking in plain sight grabbing each flag one after the other without even dying once... and, for the most part, I was always the one dying the most on that team beforehand...

And that's why I stay away from using the mic during online multiplayer... except while playing Dynasty Warriors, but that's another story...

 

[Brian Tams]

Yeah, I've encountered those... sexual sounds over online play.

Its really hard to snipe the SOB with your flag from 500 yards when you've got what sounds like an 80's porno blaring in your ear.

 

[Your Fearless Captain]

I heard someone fapping when he thought his mic was muted. That's all I got.

 

[Elfgore]

Me and my friend were playing a one on one game of LoL and his stepdad game in to give him a lecture on ,as he puts it, "gives shit" about my friends life. Luckily there was a another guy in the skype call and we just listened silently for 15 minutes on how all he cares about is this game.

It happened again two weeks after the first when his mom came in his room with a "hey fuck face, wern't you supposed to do something today?" Lovely way to talk to your child right? Then she went on for ten minutes on how he needed to mow the lawn now before it got dark and how he was failing as a son.

He claimed both times he left the mic on, on purpose so we could hear his home life.

 

[loc978]

One time I accepted a friend request on Steam from some kid who I played a match of Killing Floor with. Only afterwards did he start using a mic (and sending voice chat calls incessantly). He essentially spoke in memes, using the terms "trollface", "YOLO", "swag" et cetera unironically in spoken conversation. He hurled insults casually for no apparent reason. I tried to help him upgrade his computer. That lasted about a week, and I gave up. Blocked him. This is why I tend to stick to multiplayer with people I know in real life.

 

[Gottesstrafe]

Here's another one. "MOMMY! THIS FUCKER CALLED ME A WANKA AND I WANNA PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE! MOMMY! WAIT, PLEASE I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY FUCK! *child abuse noises*

Stuff I've personally witnessed has been mostly small potatoes compared to the stuff you guys have posted. Here's something I've stumbled across a while back that has reaffirmed my hatred for playing with/against kids in multiplayer.

Spoiler

 

[newwiseman]

I once got my friend banned from xbox live for streaming hentai audio over the mic in Halo 2 for a couple hours. lot's of "oni-chan, ah oni-chan!!" We thought it was funny.

 

[Nubrain]

While I've never had this kind of experience in a game as i tend to only do multiplayer with people that i know irl i did work over a year in a call center. we didn't ever put people on hold but just muted our mic while we asked questions or looked things up. it wasn't something you had to do on every call but definitely if something was complicated. We had a script to tell people they were not on hold and that I could still hear them and yet people forgot that all the time.

Once i had some guy tell me that his kid had used the internet on his phone without permission and could i do anything about the charges and block the internet in the future. it was the policy at the time to do this credit if someone had never had this happen before and if they were generally up to date on their bill as long as they agreed to either block the internet. so I mute it to make sure that he hadn't gotten a credit on this in the past and while it's muted I hear him tell his friend how lucky he had been to be able to "trick this dumb B****" into getting rid of the charges that he had made. the worse part being according to policy he could have gotten the credit no matter who had done it. Only now i did't want to give it to him for lying but it wasn't worth loosing my job over. So i just told him that the credit would be for more than i could process and it would have to be handled over to a supervisor to be processed. don't know if the guy got the credit or not knowing my supervisor he didn't.

the next one that springs to mind is the mother that was arguing an extra $300 on her bill. the charges were for several thousand texts on two lines in the family plan. She argued that thous numbers belong to her 13 year old and 15 year old daughters and they didn't even know how to send texts. now that's way more of a credit than I can apply so i have to mute to talk to my supervisor and then get an earful as this seemingly sweet lady starts cussing out her daughters.

Though I think the funnest one was not with my mic muted but while i was getting some training. My team lead was hooked into my computer to listen to a few calls as i had been having trouble with my average call time being too long. First call is a guy wanting to know about what plan options we have. i start to list them trying to get done quickly and naturally being a pretty fast talker. Then the guy says i went too fast and he didn't get to write any of that down. i kick myself for rushing but on the second time through start to get suspicious as i hear him breathing heavy and some strange sounds. I glance over at my team lead (a guy) and he looks as baffled as I am. When he asks to hear the list a third time there's no doubt that something is up. So my team lead reaches over pulls my headset out of the computer and unmutes his. he gets two words out and the guy hangs up.

 

[Aeonknight]

I once got my friend banned from xbox live for streaming hentai audio over the mic in Halo 2 for a couple hours. lot's of "oni-chan, ah oni-chan!!" We thought it was funny.

And I did as well. Thanks for the laugh good sir.

 

[version4point7]

I've heard some pretty funny stuff on the other end of the mic but also once made a fool of myself to my best friend. Me and my friend were playing a usual modern warfare 2 session when he said he had to go outside for a bit. Meanwhile, my girlfriend decided to entice me to a quickie. Always fun, but I left the mic on. My friend came back and him and his wife were listening in for longer then they should of. Needless to say, I got some crap for it.

On the other end, last week I was playing bf3 where a guy had a cool moment of shooting an at mine with a magnum to blow up a jeep of 3 people. I gave him congrats and I received the following : I troll all the time. I troll the trollers . Good stuff. A couple minutes go by and all of a sudden I hear a commotion. Why are you playing games? You're grounded, remember? Mumble mumble. Get off the game now! Mumble mumble. Never good when a "troller" is trolled by the parents

Two lessons: never leave mic unattended Never say you're a troller, especially if you're still with the parents

 

[Aerosteam]

I really hate to mention this, but a friend of mine forgot to feed his cat, and I heard his mother come storming into his room.

She shouted a few things at him and one thing she said made my erupt with laughter:

[HEADING=2]That is a shit-ton of puke![/HEADING]