I was inspired to start this thread after two seperate incidents that happened to me today, that got me thinking about the idea of talking to new people. This afternoon, while at university, I went to the student union for lunch. Now, there's a cafe in the basement that used to be a coffee shop (which I frequented often, but stopped going to after it became a cafe and changed everything). So I went down to this cafe and got something to eat and drink, and noticed at one of the smaller tables this really attractive girl sitting alone reading through some notes. There were plenty of free seats available elsewhere, but I decided to go to this table that the girl was sitting at and asked her if the seat was free. She said it was, so I sat down and had my lunch, all the while trying to think of something interesting to say. I couldn't think of anything, of course, and after a while the girl put her notes away and left, thus resulting in me missing out on a major opportunity to talk to her and possibly ask her out.
Skip forward a few hours, and I'm walking to work. Now, the weather's been really bad in the UK, it's extremely icy everywhere and just walking down the road to campus is really dangerous. Anyway, I was walking behind another attractive girl, different to the one from earlier. As I walked over a really bad icy patch in the pavement, I slipped and fell back, hurting my arm and lower back. The girl in front of me turned round and asked "Oh my God, are you alright?" (a direct quote, by the way). I replied that I was fine and thanks for asking, as I got up from the ice. The girl looked fairly relieved and we both carried on walking, again with her in front. It was only afterwards that I realised I had again missed a chance to talk some more to her and maybe get to know her somewhat.
Reading this, please bear in mind that I have no problems talking to girls normally. I have plenty of female friends, and I share a flat with two girls. No, the problem I've got is speaking to complete strangers. How are you meant to just start a conversation with a random stranger in a situation like that? Almost all of my friends are either former flatmates and housemates, people I know through university and societies, work colleagues, or were introduced to me by mutual friends at some point. How are you supposed to just start talking to a complete stranger and try to start a friendship or, God forbid, ask a person out (or get friendly enough that you can reasonably do so)?
I'll admit that on a couple of occasions I have been able to just start talking to total strangers. But those times have been in rare situations where we've already had something in common right from the start. For example, I got chatting to a girl in a bar about six months ago, purely because we were both sick and tired of the bartender ignoring us both and serving everyone else before us. But sadly, such situations, where you both have something in common from the beginning, are few and far between.
So, Escapists, how do you get talking to complete strangers, assuming you do? And how do you manage to do so to the point you could, say, ask a person out, or make a new friend?
[small]Note that I've put this in the Off-Topic Forum because it doesn't really come under the idea of 'advice' per se, though if anyone does have advice for me or anyone else then they are more than welcome to give it. If any of the moderators disagree then feel free to move it to the Advice Forum, or lock or delete the thread, as such mods see fit.[/small]
Skip forward a few hours, and I'm walking to work. Now, the weather's been really bad in the UK, it's extremely icy everywhere and just walking down the road to campus is really dangerous. Anyway, I was walking behind another attractive girl, different to the one from earlier. As I walked over a really bad icy patch in the pavement, I slipped and fell back, hurting my arm and lower back. The girl in front of me turned round and asked "Oh my God, are you alright?" (a direct quote, by the way). I replied that I was fine and thanks for asking, as I got up from the ice. The girl looked fairly relieved and we both carried on walking, again with her in front. It was only afterwards that I realised I had again missed a chance to talk some more to her and maybe get to know her somewhat.
Reading this, please bear in mind that I have no problems talking to girls normally. I have plenty of female friends, and I share a flat with two girls. No, the problem I've got is speaking to complete strangers. How are you meant to just start a conversation with a random stranger in a situation like that? Almost all of my friends are either former flatmates and housemates, people I know through university and societies, work colleagues, or were introduced to me by mutual friends at some point. How are you supposed to just start talking to a complete stranger and try to start a friendship or, God forbid, ask a person out (or get friendly enough that you can reasonably do so)?
I'll admit that on a couple of occasions I have been able to just start talking to total strangers. But those times have been in rare situations where we've already had something in common right from the start. For example, I got chatting to a girl in a bar about six months ago, purely because we were both sick and tired of the bartender ignoring us both and serving everyone else before us. But sadly, such situations, where you both have something in common from the beginning, are few and far between.
So, Escapists, how do you get talking to complete strangers, assuming you do? And how do you manage to do so to the point you could, say, ask a person out, or make a new friend?
[small]Note that I've put this in the Off-Topic Forum because it doesn't really come under the idea of 'advice' per se, though if anyone does have advice for me or anyone else then they are more than welcome to give it. If any of the moderators disagree then feel free to move it to the Advice Forum, or lock or delete the thread, as such mods see fit.[/small]
