Teaching kids about homosexuality

[DarkRyter]

"Sometimes, ladies like other ladies, and sometimes men like other men."

Boom. Done.

 

[Timmehexas]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

Yes because informing them about it is so "encouraging" it, they're going to learn about it eventually why not tell them in a completely unbiased way so they can make up their own decision when they're older about whether they think it's right or wrong.

No but i agree with The Hairminator, If you're teaching kids a "rule" about life, like a family is a mommy and a daddy and whatever kids they might have, then you don't go on to immediately tell them about the "exceptions" to that "rule". You let the kid learn the rule and then let them start applying it. when they start to notice that there are exceptions to their rule then they are ready to learn about them and you can have that second talk about homosexuality. I know from experience that when learning something new (and i'm talking about academics now)if i am taught the wrong way to do something first, or how many people do this thing wrong or so on(BTW I am NOT trying to imply that homosexuality is wrong.) then i end up remembering both ways, the right way and the common mistake, and i'm continually confused as to which one was the right way to do this thing from that point on.
Basically you end up confusing the idea that you are trying to teach and making it harder to sort it all out in the future.

Understandable and agreed, it all depends on the timing and how it's approached. Some kids mature faster then others and can handle these types of topics better, I was more just commenting on the ridiculous assumption that teaching a child why they saw two women kissing in the park (for example) is "encouraging" that child to be gay.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

No I wouldnt. See hetrosexuality, is pretty much the whole "where do babies come from" thing, telling her about homosexualit would be "well that man/woman likes having sex with men/women because he/she thinks its fun". I would tell the kid to answer the question about sex, but if you say sex is something people do for fun, well it might encourage the kid, hich is bad. They will learn sex is fun at a safe age, 7 is not a safe age. Hope I explained properly.

Oh. People are gay because they just like to have fun indiscriminate sex. Interesting.

Talking about sex lets see gay people cant have kids, so that leaves sex for fun. If you leave out the sex part fine, but im pretty sure that this topic is talking about sex therefore you cant really leave it out.

..We are inferring that homosexuals cannot haven't sex for the sake of love and intimacy now, like everyone else (header: even heterosexual sexual relations are not always about the child, or even the possibility of one, even)? Simply "fun"?

Really?

Yes well aware eople have sex for fun, the thing is I dont want to tell kids sex is fun, they can find out when they are older, saying something is fun encourages it, last thing you want is kids thinking sex is fun, before they are even old enough to have sex. So I would leave out the fun part hetrosexual or homosexual dosent matter.

So in other words.. you take back your previous post in which I responded to. Gotcha.

Edit: However, I do agree with you on the "sex is fun" thing at age seven. Not a great idea.

 

[vento 231]

I'm not gonna with my kids, they will be traditionally raised, but if it's brought up, I'll explain it unbiasedly of course.

 

[Danpascooch]

If the kid starts showing sexual confusion or something, talk to them about homosexual relationships, until/if then, the kid is already being pounded with a shit ton of heavy information, and it's going to be tough at that age to sort it out, no need to throw in a whole separate orientation before she's ready to handle the information.

 

[M Rotter]

heterosexuality nor homosexuality shouldnt be taught to young children. The mechanics of sex should be clearly talked about and the child should be made sure that they understand how it works. Teaching kids about SEX itself is of course a heterosexual model, but thats incidental because actual procreational sex (which is usually the kid's question "where do babies come from?") is heterosexual. Talking to a nine year (who at that point does not have sexual desires in the same way an adult does) about any sexual orientation during the discussion about how babies are made could be extremely confusing. So i dont think kids should be explicitly taught hetero- or homosexuality. Theyll figure it out once they have the basics

I don't really agree with you, because the fact is, by the time they are..............13, if you essentially teach them nothing, they will be ignorant, and ignorant kids make ignorant decisions, or will be confused and not understand what they are seeing, thinking and feeling. If you are going to bring up the mom+dad=sex=babies, yeah, that's a start. But that can't be the finish either, because that's not really even the basics of the mechanics of sex. That's just saying that people have sex to make babies. There are a lot of other questions kids will ask after this, why do people have sex, what do people do when the have babies. Instead of keeping kids in the dark they need to be taught in responsible ways the realities of things so they will be educated in the future.

i was speaking more about young children, you know 6-9 range. As kids get older, theyll obviously have more questions about sex and sexuality. Of course sex is more than just the mechanics, but since, again, a child 6-9 does not have a sex drive in same way an adult has, its pointless to explain. It would be like trying to explain STDs to a six year old, they have no context for it. When they come back when they're 10+ of course explain it to them, and their questions are more likely to be better thought out (since you've given them an unbiased baseline), because they created the questions themselves, instead of you putting them there.

 

[101flyboy]

I'm not gonna with my kids, they will be traditionally raised, but if it's brought up, I'll explain it unbiasedly of course.

Traditionally raised? Interesting. You gonna dress your kids in the traditional outfits, teach your sons to be the breadwinners and the daughters to cook and clean? Of course, you want to be perfectly traditional.

 

[101flyboy]

Kids aren't supposed to learn about "what gets them off" at the age of 7.

They are supposed to learn very basic biology of where babies come from.

Whats next-- should toddlers be taught S&M techniques? Remember kids: make sure you can pronounce a safe word with a ball gag in your mouth!

Yeah, no-one has turned this into a discussion about teaching kids how to fuck anal or S&M activities, seems like you have gotten carried away a bit with your fantasies perhaps.

 

[101flyboy]

Seven's a little young to be talking about love and relationships. Biology, fine... but she's too young to develop sexuality.

You can't talk about biology, without bringing up sex. And you can't bring up sex, without the fact that, well, 2 people (and generally 2 people in a relationship) have sex and that's how people have babies. If you say "mommy and daddy have sex and make a baby." Well, the kid is going to want to know the who, what, how. So, the point I'm trying to make is, if you are going to bring it up at all, then you can't just hide some factors. Sure, keep it age appropriate, but reality is reality and cannot be ignored.

 

[101flyboy]

Being gay myself, this may seem somewhat biased, but here we go:

My parents, whether they admit it or not, are slightly homophobic. They didn't teach me about homosexuality at all, and reflecting back, I wish they had. I figured out quite early on that I'm attracted to wimmenz, and that scared me. It took me a full six years to come out and be comfortable with it. (But still not nearly comfortable enough to tell my parents...)
Still, I wish they'd have told me about it early on. Maybe that way it would have been easier for me.

So yes. I would say tell the kid. Maybe not at the same time, or whatever, but make sure she knows.

Spoiler: And now for something completely different:

READ THIS POST, folks. And by folks, I mean some of you hets uncomfortable with the idea of teaching kids that gay people exist. Please read this and try to think in the POV of a gay/lesbian person and why it's important for kids to know the realities of life, and not the whitewashed version.

I'm sorry for your experiences with the folks. I can't imagine how hard it must be for so many kids who aren't accepted by their parents. Tragic.

 

[vento 231]

I'm not gonna with my kids, they will be traditionally raised, but if it's brought up, I'll explain it unbiasedly of course.

Traditionally raised? Interesting. You gonna dress your kids in the traditional outfits, teach your sons to be the breadwinners and the daughters to cook and clean? Of course, you want to be perfectly traditional.

Yes actually, they can dress as they like, you know, unless they sag or dress slutty. Other wise yeah, I don't think the woman should not have to work, that's kind of the mans duty, but this isn't about that, is it? I don't think I should have to teach my kid about homosexuality unless they have questions of course. I would be telling her/him that when a mommy and daddy love each other, they make love and then a baby comes. That is what sex is for, reproduction, the reason it feels good is because it's a natural urge to reproduce. It's not like I'm saying it is teh only way, but at seven, I assume they wouldn't have a sexual preferance, and not hbe interested in the oppisite sex (or same sex) or really anything to do with sex.

 

[101flyboy]

"When a man and woman love each other very much, the man puts his penis into a woman's vagina, and that's how babies are made. Also sometimes men love men and so the man puts his penis into another man's anus, but this doesn't make babies. Alternatively they rub their penises together, which is called 'frottage'. Also, some people like to tie each other up and then pee on each other, though you should always ask permission from your partner before doing that. Also, sometimes people have sex for reasons other than love, such as for money, which is called 'prostitution', or for revenge, like when you saw mommy in bed with a man who wasn't daddy, which is called 'getting pay back for four long years of oppressive patriarchal dominance'."

If homosexuality isn't a major issue in their kid's life, why make it one?

If heterosexuality isn't a major issue in their kid's life, why make it one?

Also, why do you think this situation is about sex, sex, sex? Is that all being gay is about to you, sex? Says a lot.

What's interesting to me is how pretty much any discussion about heterosexuality is just a discussion about heterosexuality, but any discussion about homosexuality is an "issue." Says everything I need about the fact that, although acceptance has come a ways, we still have a long way to go to see real gay acceptance.

 

[101flyboy]

I would not teach my kids about homosexuality at an early age for the same reasons your sister describes. I would only explain it if someone else mentions it to the kid anyway, and I need to clarify.

I would try to think back to my childhood to consider how my parents' way of handling it affected my understanding of homosexuality, but oddly enough, I don't really remember finding out about it. I don't think my parents told me at all, really. I could've found out in school at any time from 6th grade to early high school.

So, you wouldn't mention it AT ALL? That's exactly the reason why kids are ignorant on the issue, because parents keep them in the dark INTENTIONALLY. Because of ignorant parents, kids are ignorant. And the cycle of ignorance continues.

You basically don't know anything about homosexuality or homosexual persons past some basic life experiences. So, your more or less admittedly ignorant. That may be alright for you, but think about a kid who is gay/lesbian. You're effectively closeting them. And not supporting them or guiding them when they need it, as much as and more than heterosexual kids.

And people really wonder why gay teens kill themselves? It's actions such as this. You keep the gay hidden, you're creating stigma around it. Stigma turns into hate, and you've raised your perfect little homophobic child.

 

[alephnaught]

OK, so this whole "NO, because heterosexuality is the norm" argument that some people are making is hella nonsensical.

It is true that homosexuality is less common than heterosexuality. Roughly 7-8% of people in the US identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. If being a statistical minority qualifies it as being "abnormal" then, by that logic, so is being Asian, Hispanic, or African American. Would you thus refrain from discussing anything other than white, European-derived culture in talking to your child about different nationalities?

Diversity is the norm. It would be a grave failure indeed on a parents' behalf to fail to teach their child this and will leave them unprepared to live in the real world, where, like it or not, they are going to have to deal with, trade with, work with, and perhaps even live with LGBT people.

I would also respectfully like to point out that the assertion that homosexuality (something which is common in most mammals and has certainly been a part of every human society since the dawn of time) is not normal may lead people, rightly or wrongly, to assume ignorance and/or homophobia. It is, at best, a very poor choice of words.

 

[DreadfulSorry]

I remember learning about homosexuality pretty early on, about the same time I learned about heterosexual intercourse, and I don't think it influenced my current sexuality any; if anything it's made me more accepting of who I am, as well as how other people choose to live their lives. Sex, in whatever form, shouldn't be considered something shameful or harmful, imo, as long as it's done safely and respectfully.

 

[101flyboy]

First off, you can tell your child or step child whatever you think is appropriate in this situation. It's not for any of us to say.

I don't see any problem with not telling a seven year old about homosexuality. I'm actually surprised that they are telling the child about sex at all. Kids should be kids. We don't need to burden them with our own stupid prejudices or the truth of the world. There's a reason things were better when you were young. Your parents didn't make you face the dirty disgusting reality. Don't steal their childhood. If they ask about where babies come from, give them a very basic understanding of it. Something like "When a man and a woman fall in love, they can create babies. Often times, this process requires the help of doctors." If they ask for details, as a child, don't give them the gritty details. They are not mature enough to handle the facts of life. And what would a seven year old gain from knowing anything about sex or homosexuality? What seven year old would ask?

Even when they are more capable of handling it, I don't think there is any pressing need to tell of homosexuality. Not for fear of the catching teh gay, but to avoid overload. Sex is a lot for a young person to deal with. Adding to that with homosexuality or bisexuality is unnecessary. And when you do inform them of what it means to be homosexual, tell them in a non-biased way. Something like "Some people are attracted to others of the same gender. It is not very common, but there is nothing innately wrong with it."

Have some sense, people.

Kids should be kids is a cop out. It's not acceptable to keep kids ignorant. And that's what you are doing when you intentionally ignore and hide certain facts of life from your children.

The thing that is wrong in intentionally not discussing homosexuality to your kids is the fact that most kids have same-sex thoughts. Most kids will see a gay/lesbian couple, most kids will notice not everyone is straight. Life is not 100% heterosexual. That's the problem. Teaching them otherwise is effectively lying to your kids.

One thing about children is that they are always wanting to learn. They are always available to teach. Most young kids feed off of being educated. You think kids at 7 are NOT discussing sex? You would be completely wrong. At 7, I'd venture 50% of kids, at the very least, have heard about the word sex, or know that sex is a physical act. Don't pretend as if kids are stupid, they aren't. There isn't anything "disgusting" about the reality of their being gay people in the world. Or that not everything is about having babies. I understand the age appropriateness factor. But, is that an excuse to lie? No, it isn't. Kids deserve honesty, and hiding a reality of life from them is doing kids a disservice.

Teaching a kid "some men like men, some women like women" is not unnecessary, because, guess what, many of those same kids will eventually be with men. And be with women. Most kids have same-sex thoughts. Hiding a MAJOR part of what human sexuality is, is what is unnecessary. There isn't anything overt about it, no need to be in-depth. Some people like the opposite sex, some like the same sex. Period.

Having sense would be teaching kids the basic realities of life in an appropriate way, not a whitewashed version.

 

[101flyboy]

After all, the whole point is to make sure that they wont do anything stupid and repeat their parents mistakes.

So, being gay is stupid and a mistake. Essentially, it's wrong to be gay. Is that what you're saying?

 

[vento 231]

So? I find a lot of words offensive, but I don't act like a diva and ask everyone to stop using them. There are too many opinions in this world to satisfy everyone.

Gasp.. A white, straight boy comparing his experience of being insulted with that of other people.. I never saw that coming!

(BTW I am NOT trying to imply that homosexuality is wrong.)

You are however managing to do so pretty substantively.

Holy shit!!!! A gay guy acting like straight guys can't possibly have problems! O my God!!! A minority thinks whites can't possibly be as bad off as them because they are desciminated against every day purely because of their race and not at all because of their personality. How fucking revolutionary.