Tell Gearbox Why You Hated Duke Nukem Forever

[Terminal Blue]

I would have forgiven ugly, even pixellated if they would have managed to stick to the essence of Duke Nukem 3D. They didn't. Some bits and pieces are spot on, but they are few and far between, especially with all that other odd stuff going on. There's hardly any cake, and way too much rancid bacon frosting. I am not entirely sure about what went wrong, but Duke Nukem Forever is an abomination.

I didn't play DNF and there's a very good reason for that. Firstly, a game with a development cycle that long and that troubled was extremely unlikely emerge smelling of roses, but secondly because I found the marketing so fucking obnoxious and so completely contrary to everything I enjoyed about the game.

See, when I played DN3D I was practically a sperm. Seeing pixelated boobs would just make me laugh at the inappropriateness, not reach for the tissues. Bear in mind I am well into the latter half of my 20s, the people who were actually adolescents at that time are even older than me now.

The fact that the game had boobs and toilet humour was not its selling point, for a few people it probably sticks in the memory, but it's hardly the 'essence' of the game. All my memories of playing DN3D are about how fun the gameplay was. Even looking up that image I saw a picture of the laser tripmine and had a little burst of nostalgia and a desire to find a copy and build some complicated, needlessly overkill traps.

That and the whole 'bait people into calling our game misogynist so that angry young men will rally behind it' thing was fucking low. DN3D was hardly a high point in gender politics, but it didn't feel the need to crow about it as if it was somehow a political point.

There are two shooters of that era which I remember really fondly. One was Rise of the Triad, the other was Duke Nukem 3D, and DN3D was undoubtedly the better or the two, not because it was "mature" or even terribly funny, but because the gameplay was fun, visceral and ludicrously over the top.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

Eh? Did you do the survey? There are questions relating to both the two weapon limit and regenerating health. Maybe you clicked "did not play" so you didn't get those questions. But I certainly did (probably because I played the game)

I had one group of questions related specifically to the game. And another group of 4-5 questions on gameplay in general.

Then Gearbox's stupidity knows no bounds, because it wasn't just all the reviews that made me steer clear of the game; the gun limit and regenerative health were big factors as well.

I can't believe they didn't think that those could be reasons why people didn't pick up the game after launch. Cause if I wanted to play just another modern style shooter with regen health and two weapon limit, I can just boot up Halo Reach and play it some more, though it does have health packs, so it gains extra points.

In DNF, I was looking for a classic old school shooter, with old school mechanics, with a graphical update for this day and age. Since that is not what they made, they don't get my money, but I guess they don't care about why people might not even touch the game in the first place, especially fans of the old series. The game just wasn't what it should have been.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

Snip

Amen to that. The people working on DNF thought that the only thing that made up Duke Nukem was the crude humor and adult themes.

This tells me that they never played DN3D, or if they did, they have some of the worst minds for remembering things in the world. The gameplay was the biggest part of the game that made it great.

 

[Sewer Rat]

I didn't actually play the game but still... will not say no to a chance to win free shit... Really wish there was an answer for whether or not you enjoy mature content in a game for "When it is handled appropriately." IE exactly what DNF did not do from what I've seen of it.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I LOVED LOVED LOVED the fact that you could pick up hunks of shit and hurl them at people. I hate the fact that I couldn't kill anybody with said hunk O' shit.

As for the survey...Done and done.

 

[Zer_]

butbutbut

I liked Duke Nukem Forever

NO! You didn't!

My take is this. There were some fun Duke elements in the mix, but it didn't FEEL like Duke. Duke doesn't hide for cover. Duke can hold tons of weapons and ammo in his huge nutsacks. I don't mind the run and gun boss fights.

If they just took Duke Nukem 3D, upgraded it slightly, like making EGO a separate stat that you can use to pull off some special badass moves or something, then sure.

 

[TheSYLOH]

The problem with DNF was that it really couldn't decide if it wanted to be a blast from 1990 or Current Gen FPS, and ends up far inferior to both.

The jumping puzzles really demonstrate this.
I use the old term because lets face it, they are that old.

Anyway a jumping puzzle's price for failure has two basic degrees.
1) Do damage to the player
2) Outright kill the player

Number 1 is made utterly meaningless by regenerating health
Number 2 is extremely annoying and is made tolerable by quick saving, which is not present in Current Gen FPS.

Both are present to the games detriment.

We have old game mechanics clashing directly with new ones.
Like they really couldn't make up their minds.

If this was an old school FPS, the jumping puzzles would have been tolerable.
If this was a current gen FPS the jumping puzzles would be non-existent.

Instead we have the old school jumping puzzles, with new limitations.
End result is supremely annoying, and severely exacerbates the long load times.

 

[The Random One]

Actually the thing that made me happier about DNF coming out is that the Duke Nukem franchise is now free for a new game. So as far as I care, bring a new one on! Let Yahtzee write this one maybe.

 

[teh_Canape]

butbutbut

I liked Duke Nukem Forever

NO! You didn't!

My take is this. There were some fun Duke elements in the mix, but it didn't FEEL like Duke. Duke doesn't hide for cover. Duke can hold tons of weapons and ammo in his huge nutsacks. I don't mind the run and gun boss fights.

If they just took Duke Nukem 3D, upgraded it slightly, like making EGO a separate stat that you can use to pull off some special badass moves or something, then sure.

I did enjoy it

I saw in the gameplay trailers that it would be cover based and all that
I just tried to look past all that and enjoy it for what it was

Spoiler

though the Hive can go fuck itself, real hard

 

[Xman490]

(on Steam) starts off $50
goes to $40 in a month or two
goes on Mac around that time
goes to $20 a few days ago
Too bad it sucks.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

All this Duke Nukem Forever hate. Well, it's all fair. Granted, even. But why must it border on vindictive??

I loved the game. I know plenty of people who loved the game. Critics can go fuck themselves at the best of times, yet alone when the game is fifteen years in the making - it was guaranteed poor reviews whether the game was halfway decent or not (and it WAS decent). But it borders on pure hatred, hatred neither the game nor Gearbox deserves.

GO, POSITIVE:

 

[Oilerfan92]

The reason I hated it is because it didn't feel like an old school game homage. It felt like a game FROM the 90s. There's a reason games have (atleast partially) changed. Its nice to gp back and have these (attempted) throw back games. But at the end of the day, gamings moved on.

That. And the pointless strip club level. Why ?

 

[ThunderCavalier]

Personally, Duke Nukem would've been better if it was... ya know... Duke Nukem.

But even then, I don't think it's really worth it. Duke Nukem was nice back in its day, but its type of humor just... doesn't really work nowadays. Maybe it would be unique if it was just Duke Nukem in some type of modern shooter played straight, with him using several weapons and having limited health and having all of his crude humor in a world that obviously doesn't work for him (which would have the appeal of Duke Nukem and be a nice little parody), but as it is now, it doesn't work.

Also, I hope they keep a consistent, and tbh, humorous tone. The alien mothership was the one thing that made me decide not to even bother playing Duke Nukem. That was not needed. At all.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

My biggest problem with DNF was that, it was trying to be realistic, gameplay wise. All the camera tilting bullshit and physics puzzle bullshit really took away from the fun of a DN game.

Um, because I wanted Borderlands 2 sooner? Is it ok to say that?

That's exactly what I was thinking, damn your nostalgia Randy Pitchford, why couldn't you just let Duke die! Borderlands is way better than DN.

 

[Metalrocks]

like many already stated, the 2 weapon limit, and regenerating health surely screwed up the whole game already. and the driving sucked as well. dint fir at all in a duke game. still wish i cna get my money back but well, bad luck.
did the survey so lets see what the result is at the end.

 

[lacktheknack]

Yes, drawing. That's what it's called. So, surely not "draw", at least not on this side of the pond.

That is probably one of the worst cases of butchering the english language that I have ever seen. Also its not like that on this side of the pond because that would imply its like that everywhere on this side of the pond when it is most definitly not, it is just that way in the US.

Your sentence wasn't much better.

And if that's the worst butchering of English you've ever seen, BEHOLD:

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

You?ve got to be kidding me. I?ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It?s just common sense.

 

[screwvalve]

They just buy acquire those people remaking duke3d on epic's engine, and call that the real DNF.