Telling my parents I'm Atheist

[Sn1P3r M98]

So after a long time thinking, I've decided I no longer desire to be Catholic. I want to let my parents know this, but I'm not sure how to go about it. They're usually rather understanding toward me, but I'm still nervous about telling them this particular decision.

Anyone have tips on how I can go about this?

 

[Motiv_]

Honestly, there's no other way to do it rather than to just up and tell them. It's your decision, and it's none of their business to tell you what you want to believe.

 

[Gralian]

Make sure you explain that it is your sincerest wish that they respect your beliefs as much as you respect theirs. I think so long as they feel in equal parts respect for them and their faith, they will respect you and your decisions. The important thing to stress is that you renouncing your faith will not make you treat them any differently and that nothing about you will change aside from your beliefs.

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

My advice is tell them a bit later, preferably as you get the last of the things into a moving van. I told my parents I'm Asatruan and they

1idn't believe me
2:Called me a heathen
3:Blames Children of Bodom
4:Tried to convince me it was immoral not to be christian
5:tried to invalidate my religion (which they failed at because arguing from the standpoint of believing in a magical sky wizard is very hard)

but if you're really intent on telling them I suggest you wait until next time they try to push their religious beliefs on you then act offended telling them your an atheist (or make up a special word that means the same thing) and that will draw attention away from you while making them explore their own ways of spreading beliefs and get your message out.

 

[TFielding]

I had the opposite thing when I told my parents that I was Christian.
What you do is bring it up when they are looking nice and pleasant. Don't be belligerent about it. I just said, "Hey mom, I would like to start going to Church." So, I guess say the opposite of that.

 

[Jamash]

So after a long time thinking, I've decided I no longer desire to be Catholic. I want to let my parents know this, but I'm not sure how to go about it. They're usually rather understanding toward me, but I'm still nervous about telling them this particular decision.

Anyone have tips on how I can go about this?

How much do you not want to be a Catholic?

Technically, the only way for you to not be a Catholic would be for you to get Excommunicated from the Church, but that is usually only reserved for very serious transgressions against God and Humanity.

An alternative is just to let your faith lapse, i.e. become a Lapsed Catholic. You'll still technically be a Catholic in the eye of the Church, as a lapse in faith doesn't undo your Baptism and Conformation, but you won't be obligated to attend Mass or follow the Faith (although you can still choose to identify as a Catholic if you so desire, and attend Mass with your family on special occasions like Christmas and Easter).

It may be easier on you and your parents if you become a Lapsed Catholic, rather than stating that you 100% believe that you don't believe in a God and reject your parents faith and beliefs.

Unless Atheism is as important to you as the Church is to Catholics, in that you're practically swapping one religion or set of beliefs for another, it may be a lot easier on everyone involved if you just let your faith lapse.

 

[Sn1P3r M98]

So after a long time thinking, I've decided I no longer desire to be Catholic. I want to let my parents know this, but I'm not sure how to go about it. They're usually rather understanding toward me, but I'm still nervous about telling them this particular decision.

Anyone have tips on how I can go about this?

How much do you not want to be a Catholic?

Technically, the only way for you to not be a Catholic would be for you to get Excommunicated from the Church, but that is usually only reserved for very serious transgressions against God and Humanity.

An alternative is just to let your faith lapse, i.e. become a Lapsed Catholic. You'll still technically be a Catholic in the eye of the Church, as a lapse in faith doesn't undo your Baptism and Conformation, but you won't be obligated to attend Mass or follow the Faith (although you can still choose to identify as a Catholic if you so desire, and attend Mass with your family on special occasions like Christmas and Easter).

It may be easier on you and your parents if you become a Lapsed Catholic, rather than stating that you 100% believe that you don't believe in a God and reject your parents faith and beliefs.

Unless Atheism is as important to you as the Church is to Catholics, in that you're practically swapping one religion or set of beliefs for another, it may be a lot easier on everyone involved if you just let your faith lapse.

The lapsed Catholic idea sounds much more inviting, I'm still open to the possibility that there may be a god out there, but no longer want to follow the Catholic faith.

 

[McMullen]

but if you're really intent on telling them I suggest you wait until next time they try to push their religious beliefs on you then act offended telling them your an atheist (or make up a special word that means the same thing) and that will draw attention away from you while making them explore their own ways of spreading beliefs and get your message out.

I was lucky enough to not be pressured by my family one way or another, so I never had this conflict, but I suspect that creating drama about it or mixing in preexisting drama won't be as productive as starting a serious conversation about it when everyone is in a neutral or positive mood.

I would recommend just saying that you have been questioning your faith, have not been able to get satisfactory answers, and are exploring other options, including whether faith is necessary at all.

 

[Cakes]

How does not wanting to be Catholic automatically lead to atheism?

If they're the type that will maybe go to church on Christmas if they feel like it, as nearly all are, you shouldn't really have much of an issue.

 

[SaikyoKid]

I'd maybe reconsider using the term atheism and instead use the term agnosticism? It might come off as a little less crass to your parents than just flat out denying the existence of any kind of god. Plus you said up there too that you still do believe in the existence of a god, just not necessarily the Catholic version.

 

[Cakes]

I'd maybe reconsider using the term atheism and instead use the term agnosticism? It might come off as a little less crass to your parents than just flat out denying the existence of any kind of god.

That's strong / gnostic atheism, most atheists are weak / agnostic. Agnosticism alone doesn't really make any sense.

That being said it probably is a better idea to call yourself agnostic if your parents will make an issue of it.

 

[SaikyoKid]

I'd maybe reconsider using the term atheism and instead use the term agnosticism? It might come off as a little less crass to your parents than just flat out denying the existence of any kind of god.

That's strong / gnostic atheism, most atheists are weak / agnostic. Agnosticism alone doesn't really make any sense.

That being said it probably is a better idea to call yourself agnostic if your parents will make an issue of it.

I guess that actually does make quite a bit of sense. I looked into it a bit more after I posted that and I kinda came to that conclusion too. Still though, I figured it'd at least sound quite a bit better to any sort of religious parent than trying to call yourself an atheist all of a sudden.

 

[Hatter]

I don't think there's much of a technique, just tell them.
Personally I don't see why you think you need to, my whole family thinks I'm christian, even though I've been agnostic since I was 12.

 

[Sn1P3r M98]

I'd maybe reconsider using the term atheism and instead use the term agnosticism? It might come off as a little less crass to your parents than just flat out denying the existence of any kind of god. Plus you said up there too that you still do believe in the existence of a god, just not necessarily the Catholic version.

Yeah, that does sound about right. I'll definitely bring that up.