Ten Reasons Why Pac-Man Sucks

[werekitsune]

1)That was an over use of sarcasm even if it was mildly amusing
2)It was SARCASM he wasn't being serious
3)I'm amazed that so many members of this intellectual site thought he was serious

I don't really think of this place as an intellectual site, but really guys, relax.

 

[e2density]

I thought it was quite funny.
I guess some people take things far too seriously.

And I have a feeling I'm gonna get flamed for this post.

 

[HT_Black]

Spoiler: Yadda Yadda Yammer Yammer

Ah, poorly disguised satire. It makes my stomach churn to see that finest of humors abused in such a way; at least he could've been subtle in his critique of the modern day games industry. 'Tis a shame, 'tis a shame, and an even greater shame still that so few of our ostensibly intellectual community fail to understand the meaning of this particular piece; I imagine that if they were perchance presented with "A Modest Proposal" then a rash of infant slashings would spring up about the land like so many satirically disabled weeds. Rest in peace, ye holiest of wordy muses, and know that your legacy goes to ground with you.

Truly, how can it be that such a large group of people, each of who are supposedly possessed of excessive cleverness and wisdom, miss this man's point in such a stupendous fashion? Do they not see that he is mocking the furor with which modern-day artists pursue graphical perfection? Are they truly blind to his blatant statement about the oversexualization and gratuitous violence present in many modern-day titles? How can they miss his lament of times gone by, when games were for one and all, and anyone could happily join in? Why, oh why, are these numerous professed geniuses ignorant of his disdain for taxing game engines and absurd system requirements, or the way he out-and-out says that he is joking? Has the ego of the great Escapist community at last swallowed its brain? Truly, I am ashamed to think that the community I was once proud to be part of has succumbed to the devils of hubris and misguided nostalgia, and that the deviants and trolls may be the wisest of us.

Escapist, I am dissappoint. Very disappoint indeed.

On an unrelated note, I seriously didn't think much of Pac-man.

You put that a lot more eloquently than I would have my friend, I had to resist the urge to post the tired old facepalm.jpg Sure, it's not very clever satire, but it's blatantly obvious that it's satire.

There are thin, but bright red and flashing, lines between satire, obvious satire, and genuine stupidity. This essay was nowhere near the authentic idiocy mark, or the satire mark for that matter. He hit obvious country and ran for a hundred miles; I'm surprised that more people didn't catch on. Just goes to show how big a mess you can cause when you go after the classics, no matter how good they really were.

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

dear god that's the dumbest thing I've read in a long long time. The fact that it's satire doesn't excuse how fucking stupid it is.

pretty much this,
If he could come up with valid reasons, than OK, but this is a waste of sarc

 

[almostgold]

The replies here deserve a caps lock reply:

IT IS SARCASM. HE IS NOT BEING SERIOUS. IT IS A SATIRE.

Forgive me.

 

[Marmooset]

From Sun Tzu's lesser known work, War is Easy, Comedy is Hard:
"Although a joke must be gotten to be funny, a joke does not need to be funny to be gotten."

 

[spinFX]

I hope to God my Sarcasmograph is just broken and he's not being series or else he's a fucktard.

You absolutely can't be serious that you are not 100% sure it is sarcasm...

IT MENTIONS A PHYSICS ENGINE!!! Everything else could be construed as serious but a physics engine?!?! In fact points 8, 9 and 10 seal the deal THOROUGHLY and that's only if you didn't figure it out from point 1-3.

Maybe my sarcasmograph is broken... YOU BETTER HAVE BEEN SARCASTIC.

 

[lwm3398]

Ben "Yahtzee"'s go'n sue somebody!

That's actually pretty funny.

 

[inpachi]

This was hilarious! Thank you for hitting the nail perfectly! This is what the current generation of gamers think.. WHERE DID WE GO WRONG????? Whatever happened to Gameplay>Graphics and Story/Character development><Action. Meaning there should be a good balance of both...

Poor kids these days wouldnt know a good game if it bit them on the ass.. All they ever think about is Call of duty or Halo.... Its sad really...

 

[F-I-D-O]

This could be better suited to a medium outside of print. Sarcasm doesn't translate to well to writing.
I have no idea who this person is, so I can't say if he is known for sarcasm or not, so I just assumed he was a stupid, arrogant, and delusional fool.
Not to mention, did he forgot the gamecube pacmans?
Even with sarcasm, it isn't funny until number 10.
P.S. I agree with monkeyman

 

[UberLemonBoy]

Wow...

Thats...wow.

I don't really like Pac-Man either, but still, this guy sounds like a complete and utter wanker.
Also:

"Modern games should be played in online multiplayer."?

Way to go there and make a completely false, inaccurate, uneducated, all-encompassing statement without merit that can easily be torn down with the most basic of examples there, dipshit.

To me, this sounds like the ramblings of a 14 year-old ritalin-popping high-school drop-out with way too much time on his hands, who spends half his time hiding his porn-stash from his mum and the other half swearing at people over CounterStrike voice-chat.

To David Hill, and all who think likewise:

Get a fucking life, you sad losers.

HA TITS

 

[Get_A_Grip_]

lol?

 

[Shynobee]

hooray for sarcasm!

 

[SimuLord]

Are you Roger Federer? Because that compliment had one hell of a backhand.

Does he have a good backhand? I don't even know, I don't follow tennis.

Besides, can't suck it too hard mate. I'm normally on during the Aussie Escapist time, and the few times I'm on during US Escapist time, I see you around, usually saying something that I disagree with but can never be arsed to start an argument over. Oh well.

Also, "snarky and verbose" isn't really that bad. I can get pretty snarky and verbose. I'm probably rashly judging you on one or two posts, so don't worry 'bout it.

And I'm sure you don't actually care what I think of you, right?

Do I care? No. Could I let a clever backhanded compliment pass without comment? To steal a line from Drew Magary of Deadspin: "FUCK AND NO."

 

[Zhalath]

PAC-MAN IS THE BOMB AND IS TOTALLY BETTER THAN MODERN WARFARE 2 IF YOU DISAGREE YOU'RE JUST SOMEONE WHO CAN'T UNDERSTAND HIS ROOTS RAH RAH RAH.

Actually, Pac-Man is still pretty fun. Anyway, that was pretty funny. Also, I can't understand how satire can be any more subtle without just being you interpreting differently.

 

[Danpascooch]

Seriously, what the hell does "Hipster" mean. It sounds like you're condemning the joke because you believe the writer to fall into an undesirable group of people.

Sounds elitist to me.

Regardless, it's still not funny.

And since a hipster is esentially elitist (quasi-intellectual, self-rightious, smug, arrogant and some other nasty similies) does that work? I don't even know. Don't forget it's not the people themselves that are undesireable, it's the attitude, and since the attitude is heavily present in this article, it's unlikeable. I don't see how it's elitist not to like something because it has a stench of arrogance about it, AND isn't funny on it's own anyway.

If you don't think it's funny that's fine, but don't brand the guy who wrote it as a "hipster"

Which STILL nobody has defined what the hell "hipster" means.

 

[jojoemon]

Gabe would kill you for that statement David.

 

[Bek359]

Real gamers only play games that are rated M.

Not true at all. Bad Company 1 and Oblivion were T, and those games were awesome!

Oblivion is rated M, JSYK.