posted [http://machineageproductions.com/] the following ten reasons why Pac-Man should wrap his big yellow mouth around the barrel of a shotgun:
Today's the 30th anniversary of some old people game. If you go to the Google Home Page, you can play it on their logo.
I'm going to tell you why it sucks.
1) The graphics are shit. Even outside of a console, you should at least be able to get 2005-era textures out of a browser-based game. This tells me that the designers didn't care about the fans.
2) Pac Man is tired. There hasn't been a good Pac Man game for like thirty years. It's because designers keep making games like this that we almost never get memorable titles like Bayonetta. They're worse than Nintendo with Mario.
3) There's no chicks. Why's Pac Man killing ghosts if he doesn't even get to pork a hot babe at the end? I heard there's a "Ms Pac Man" game, but that's probably just designed by Ubisoft to appeal to the DS fashion designer game crowd. (BTW: If you think this statement is sexist, it's not. You should just get thicker skin.)
4) There's no violence. Some professor in Indiana proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that video games can never, ever have an influence on children's minds, so there's no excuse to have a video game without excessive violence. Real gamers only play games that are rated M.
6) You can learn to play it in minutes. You can just turn it off and pick it back up at any time. My mom's played it. That's right: it's a casual game. It's just another stupid browser game like Farmville, made for lousy housewives. When's Google going to get a life and start making games for the hardcore gamers? A guy I talked to said that casual games don't make as much money as hardcore games.
7) There's no multiplayer. Get a clue. Modern games should be played in online multiplayer. If you don't include multiplayer, that's just Google saying that you're leaving the option open to sell us later as DLC. Lamesauce.
8) It doesn't have a good physics engine. If the Unreal and Half Life engines aren't broken, why use other ones?
9) So you're a little yellow guy that hunts ghosts and wanders around mazes getting randomly attacked? Didn't anyone tell these guys that JRPGs are dead?
10) The CEO of Rockstar Games said he doesn't really like Pac Man anymore. Read this out of context quote, "I don't really" [like Pac Man anymore].
In summation, Pac Man should die in a fire.