Ten Reasons Why Pac-Man Sucks

[ionpulse2]

I hope to God that this guy is being sarcastic. If not, well, I think that this image sums him up quite nicely:

 

[Thaius]

This had better be a joke. I'd rather not go into uncontrollable nerd-rage mode and brutally murder whoever's responsible for it. Because if it's not a joke... I HATE this person.

 

[PrototypeC]

I hate Pac-Man. I wish he was serious. Pac-Man is a terrible, terrible game.

 

[wildpeaks]

In the serie "nowaday's spoiled kids' view of 'why Pacman sucks'":

1) No 3D

2) No physics engine

3) No buyable upgrades

4) No always-connected DRM

5) Where is the chat window ?

6) It doesn't use Steamworks

7) No achievements

8) The lack of zombies and shotguns is disappointing

9) I can't spam my high score to my "friends" on Facebook

10) No lolcats x.x



More seriously, Pacman rules: happy birthday and long live the yellow guy \o/

 

[Willis_D]

If Pac-Man had any influence on children, young adults would be running around dark rooms listening to repetitive electronic music and munching magic pills...

Marcus Brigstocke quote for the win, good sir.

Thanks for attribution. I was just about to edit in 'Citation needed'.

No problem. I watch a lot of comedy, especially British and Irish, so it was a pretty much instant reaction.

 

[evilgreenknight346]

well i can only think of one reason. now im sure this has been said before, but there is that hint of homo-erotic in it. you pay a quarter to have pac-MAN run around eating BALLS

 

[afroforce69]

let's see if anyone feeds the troll....

 

[Plurralbles]

some of them were funny but others weren't.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

Unless it's a mindfuck. Make it subtle enough and people will believe every word of it, or they'll flame you to hell and back because you're taking the piss out of something they love.

(British folks, did I use the phrase "taking the piss" correctly? You guys have the best phrases.)

Normally you just say they are taking the piss with the thing they are making fun of being unstated. Like if a skinhead walks right up to you and asks, "are you taking the piss?" It's a laconic sort of thing.

 

[Danpascooch]

This is sarcasm. If not than this

Read this out of context quote, "I don't really" [like Pac Man anymore].

is essentially him puting a gun to his point's head and pulling the trigger.

Yeah. You've got me.

(The subtitle for the original was "My Ode to Video Game Journalism.")

And the subtitle only further demonstrates that he's writing for the sake of writing. This type of piece has been done to death. Maybe asshole hipsters who find anvilicious attempts at irony funny might laugh, but that's barely a step up from laughing at Beavis and Butt-head. (mind you, I think B&BH are hilarious, but they don't pretend to be anything other than stupid.)

Oh gee, sorry the humor isn't sophisticated enough for you. How has this been "done to death"? I've never seen a piece ironically talking about "why pacman sucks".

And you mention it's a step UP from B&BH, yet say it's bad, but you find B&BH hilarious. That makes NO sense whatsoever.

God I hate elitists.

How is that elitism? Pretending to hate something to make fun of people that actually do hate said thing, is old and stupid.

The writer of this piece should be like Pac-man, and wrap his mouth around the barrel of a shotgun.

It's not elitism to dislike it, it's elitism to make fun of it and bash it repeatedly because it's "low brow"

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Damn, some people are desperate for publicity.

 

[Berithil]

I hope this is sarcasm. Anyone who spends time bashing a game made 30 years by complaining about graphics and multiplayer seriously needs to get a life. It's almost like he thinks that they has PS3's and 360's in the 70s. He sounds like a teenage fratboy who spends his entire day playing on the 360

Whats next? Someone complaining how Pong doesn't have violence?

 

[GrinningManiac]

Somewhere on the internet, a man named Hill started screaming "LOVE ME, STRANGERS, FOR MY DADDY NEVER HUGGED ME"

 

[De Ronneman]

I read it, and started liking pacman. It is uncomplicated, easy and doesn't NEED any of the htings he mentioned, y'know, the stuff that gamedesigners try to fork in every game.

I love how he used Bayonetta as an example. It is everything I don't like.

 

[NeutralDrow]

Clearly, it's supposed to be a joke.

I wish it were at least a funny one.

 

[feather240]

This is sarcasm. If not than this

Read this out of context quote, "I don't really" [like Pac Man anymore].

is essentially him puting a gun to his point's head and pulling the trigger.

Yeah, that's about where I knew it was Sarcasm.

 

[William Dickbringer]

yeah not that funny as the person thought it would be so how many people do you think are going to miss the sarcasm and mutilate the author's sad attempt at trolling