THAT double standard, why does it exist?
- Thread starter Vault101
- Start date
Recommended Videos
acctually yeah there is that as wellHam_authority95 said:
women are human too and have such urges, (now why didnt I think of that?) mabye theres aslo the gender role that its acceptible for men to act horny because they have "needs" but women are expected to be "pure" and not enjoy sex too much (yeah thats streching it a bit but you get the idea)
thats not the topic of the thread, anyway Im not complaing here, I was trying to be neutral and I was jsut interested as to why this exitstsMerkavar said:
anyway In regards to cheating I dont think much of anyone who cheats, regardless of gender (yet it happens alot, some people just cant controll themselfs)
The dating system is adversarial by nature. No, I'm not spouting insane sexist "The Game" bullshit, don't worry. But you have to admit that the man has to work for his sex, mostly because women have more to lose from sex than men (9 months of your life is a long time) and are therefore more careful. Thus, if a person is charismatic enough to convince many people to have sex with him then there must be something special about him. That's the theory, anyways.
That being said, a man that sleeps with anyone he can get his hands on isn't a player, he's a whore. You have to have class to be considered a decent person.
That being said, a man that sleeps with anyone he can get his hands on isn't a player, he's a whore. You have to have class to be considered a decent person.
Personally, I find anyone who engages in such activates and then boasts of it worthy of my scorn. Granted, my scorn is not hard to earn, but nevertheless?
Why does it exist? For the same reason women can over sexualize men in media, but men doing the same to women is misogynistic and detestable.
To me, as an asexual person, bragging about the number of people you have slept with is comparable to and as pointless as me bragging about how many cakes I have eaten.
Why does it exist? For the same reason women can over sexualize men in media, but men doing the same to women is misogynistic and detestable.
To me, as an asexual person, bragging about the number of people you have slept with is comparable to and as pointless as me bragging about how many cakes I have eaten.
It can also goes way back to our prehistoric days.Vault101 said:
Males can ejaculate multiple times an hour while women can only get pregnant once every 9 months. You can see how, in a survivalist sense, it became more acceptable for males to get their freak on more often.
We aren't, but that saying really does stand true.Astoria said:
If a guy thinks he is the greatest thing ever, he's got confidence and can go out and get laid IF he's got the moves. If he has no self respect or self worth, he will not. Reason being he won't try because he feels he isn't good enough, or he won't get anyone because he doesn't appear confident enough. On the other hand, if a girl thinks they're the greatest, they can go out and get laid by pretty much any horny guy they want. If they have no self respect or self worth... they can still go out and get laid by pretty much any horny guy they want.
IMO a guy with high self respect wouldn't be sleeping around, or would at least be aiming very high when it comes to finding a mate.
Getting laid is an achievement for guys because it's much more difficult then it is for a woman to. Guys have to work for it more by impressing the woman at the least. Pretty much everyone will have sex yes, but it's not really about the quantity at all... it's about quality. If someone is regularely getting highly attractive woman, then they have a skill that many do not have. If they constantly lay with unnattractive woman, then it's just sad really.
Well, there's also something else. A long, long time ago, a few thousand years, depending on the place, sex was not an ugly thing, not even something to be doubtful about or to pour a lot of emotion in. Sex was just sex. As an example, the romans were predominantly bisexual and wouldn't allow adultery to be the reason of a divorce (in certain periods) and they praised both men and women for the number of their sex partners. There's even a story where some women make fun of another woman because she had been divorced only once.
Sadly, nowadays I don't think we've managed to fully break ourselves from the subconscious ideas of our puritan forefathers. Somehow, somewhere within our minds, sex is still an ugly thing. Maybe this vision doesn't dominate anymore but it affects us nonetheless. Men are viewed symbolically as the "givers" of sex and women are the "receivers". In a badly twisted way, somewhere in the back of our heads, promiscuous women somehow seem to gather that ugly nature of sex, which lead to them being discriminated and treated differently. It is the symbolism and idea of an old age, one I hope to see die out during my lifetime.
Sadly, nowadays I don't think we've managed to fully break ourselves from the subconscious ideas of our puritan forefathers. Somehow, somewhere within our minds, sex is still an ugly thing. Maybe this vision doesn't dominate anymore but it affects us nonetheless. Men are viewed symbolically as the "givers" of sex and women are the "receivers". In a badly twisted way, somewhere in the back of our heads, promiscuous women somehow seem to gather that ugly nature of sex, which lead to them being discriminated and treated differently. It is the symbolism and idea of an old age, one I hope to see die out during my lifetime.
As do I. I just find it kinda fun to call my friends sluts when they hook up with some random girl.Brutal Peanut said:I usually think both genders are sluts.
The guy/girl who sleeps around a lot has to earn it with a new person each time (especially with guys). I'll take a stable relationship with my wife (or girlfriend, if you're not married) because I can get sex pretty much whenever I want, with someone I know does not have nasty diseases, and it's an all around fulfilling, compared to a single sexual encounter. Also, quality over quantity.
Funny that the first reply hits the nail on the head, although rather crudely.
It's the expectations given to us by society, really. Women expect guys to put the legwork into this kind of thing, and guys do it as a method of extending their image of success.
Not that both aren't sluts though. But guys have it a lot harder than women when it comes to these things, and thusly society respects them for their efforts.
I hope this post doesn't sound misogynistic.
It's the expectations given to us by society, really. Women expect guys to put the legwork into this kind of thing, and guys do it as a method of extending their image of success.
Not that both aren't sluts though. But guys have it a lot harder than women when it comes to these things, and thusly society respects them for their efforts.
I hope this post doesn't sound misogynistic.
You're not the first one to ask this. [http://bukucomics.com/loserz/go/23]
It probably has something to do with the Victorian (if anyone can point to an earlier example, please do) idea that women don't have sex drives, and that their only role in bed is to lie back and think of England, so therefore there is something wrong with a woman who actually goes looking for sex. Or maybe it has something to do with the entrenchment of the patriarchy, and that for a while the only way for a man to determine if the kid was his was to make sure that the mother hadn't slept with anyone else.
It probably has something to do with the Victorian (if anyone can point to an earlier example, please do) idea that women don't have sex drives, and that their only role in bed is to lie back and think of England, so therefore there is something wrong with a woman who actually goes looking for sex. Or maybe it has something to do with the entrenchment of the patriarchy, and that for a while the only way for a man to determine if the kid was his was to make sure that the mother hadn't slept with anyone else.
We all know why it exists. But it's not a game. People have their own reasons for the things they do, including sex. I don't give a shit about the sex lives of others, and it's not my concern to judge their reasons as right or wrong.
I would think that a person who sleeps with a lot of people who they don't really want to sleep with -- to get attention, or because they are pressured, or to try and live up to a reputation -- is a person with low self-esteem, male or female. Guys (especially younger immature ones) generally get more esteem from their peers for sleeping with a bunch of different women than women do, but it's not because there is something inherently "better" about a man who has a lot of sex than a woman who does.Vault101 said:
Historically, not only have women been more at risk for having multiple male partners (thanks to pregnancy) but it's also been very threatening to the men, and their ability to ensure that they have heirs -- the mother knows perfectly well that the baby is hers, but the father can't be sure. Because of this anxiety a lot of men had, society labeled a woman who sleeps around with names like "slut" (and in many places today she can still be killed for it) so that her husband could control who she had sex with, and make sure that all her children were his. Women were property, and were good only for having men's children, so it was important to make sure they only had the right men's children -- her body was her husband's and therefore off-limits to anyone else. This was enforced by shaming women who didn't obey (or divorcing or raping or murdering them.)
You can see this sexist possessive impulse in the lock-and-key metaphor, actually. A woman's body is supposed to be a "good" lock and only open for one "key" right? That's a pretty unsubtle way of putting that she should only belong to/sleep with one man, isn't it?
It's is no harder for a guy to get laid than it is a girl. As you said a guy is not going to try to get with an unattractive woman so unless you're incredibly stunning girls have to put in effort too. Some girl put in hours of effort doing their makeup and making sure what they're wearing looks good on them just to get a guy to look at them. While guys usually make the first move girls still put in the same amount of effort to keep a good conversation going and worry about the same things that guys worry about when trying to pick up someone. No offence intended here but you've made it sound like all that matters is looks and that's pretty shallow.SonicKaos said:
Watch Jim Jeffries' stand up on sluts.
"There are fat ugly sluts out there, there are no fat ugly studs."
Basically what the first comment says, in today's society men need to be close to perfect to pick up a woman while women just have to be... there.
"There are fat ugly sluts out there, there are no fat ugly studs."
Basically what the first comment says, in today's society men need to be close to perfect to pick up a woman while women just have to be... there.
While I agree that it is more difficult for guys to get laid than it is for women, I don't know if I entirely agree with it being about "skill". Granted, it is a factor in some cases, but from what I've seen, men and women aren't really that different.SonicKaos said:
Most of the guys (that I've known, at least) who get attention from attractive women are the same as the attractive women who get a lot of attention from guys, in that the key factor is "attractive". These guys usually don't do anything special, they just have good looks. I can't count how many times I've seen guys with smarter, funnier things to say, get "friend zoned" by women they're trying to attract because she's too busy drooling over a guy who looks like a model.
Again, I'm not saying some guys don't use skill or charm to overcome their lack of prowess in other variables that attract women. I'm just saying, if a girl is a slut for just having to show up to get some action, then the guys who are guilty of the same thing should be regarded under the same light. There shouldn't be a double standard.
Here's a new double standard for the thread! Since you all seems stuck on the 'Guys a stud, girls a whore' one, here is a new one. Still involving sex.
A guy can be fine with the idea of a threesome with two other women. But if the woman suggest two other guys version threesome the male is more often against it even if the woman is alright/open to the first option. The concept is fair from both views, but usually far less accepted on one version from males.
A guy can be fine with the idea of a threesome with two other women. But if the woman suggest two other guys version threesome the male is more often against it even if the woman is alright/open to the first option. The concept is fair from both views, but usually far less accepted on one version from males.
That's exactly what I was thinking. I've never seen why sleeping with lots of women makes you cool.MisterGobbles said:
Although if I had to wager I guess, I'd probably go with what others are saying along the lines of "it's easier for women to get laid if they want it than it is for guys." Yes, I realize that's a stereotype for both genders, but this one happens to fit a lot better than other stereotypes.