That moment when you realise you might be a terrible person.

[Doclector]

You ever had any of the moments when you realise you might not be as morally clean as you'd like to think?

At the moment, I'm in third year of university. Dissertation deadline impending, major projects all over the place, all that sort of stuff. I usually don't have much faith in my own abilities. I've been procrastinating more than often, that much I admit. Honestly, there are reasons beyond laziness for that. My personal and mental problems have been getting in the way, and I have enough experience with them to know that it's better to wait for the storm to pass and make up for lost time when possible than to try and work through it. Not that my damn lecturers understand even a bit of that...

However, I've found out through social networking that most of my colleagues are not anywhere close to finished yet, whereas I have already submitted a first draft for feedback. I had thought I had left it a little late, but clearly I'm doing better in relation than I had thought.

This pleases me. I feel like, knowing how harsh academic pressure can be on a mind, I should not be taking such a high level of pleasure in their obstacles. Sure, they'll get it done. They always seem to do so without breaking a sweat, but for now, it's nice to know that I, whom they would insult for my coping mechanisms, have gotten ahead of them.

And yet, reading that paragraph back, I feel like the nerdy, unlikable asshole from a high school comedy. I'd feel a lot more guilty if I could help it at all.

Captcha: Creative process. How fitting.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Well, all the cis- white male tear threads I've been making make me seem like a prick

Which I'm fine with, at least I'm a funny prick... Right guys?

 

[scorptatious]

I seem to get this feeling as well when it comes to the work place.

At this one place I used to volunteer, I was told one guy got fired for goofing off and being rude towards our employers. At the time I thought, well at least I can hold a job longer than this guy.

I feel a little bit bad about thinking that afterwards because jobs are hard to come by, and that guy is probably going to have an especially tough time since he got fired from a volunteer position.

Also, I remember getting interested in this one girl only to find out she was much older than I was. So I was kinda turned off by that.

I'm a very shallow person when it comes to girls.

 

[JoJo]

Well, there was the time I surgically removed the brain of an orphan so I could steal his body, for a moment when I was slicing through his skull I felt bad but then I remembered he'd signed the consent to surgery form so it was all good. I mean, he agreed to it, not my responsibility if his little sister happened to be tied above a tank of sharks at the time right?

 

[Fractral]

I got rejected from Cambridge almost instantly, so I found myself feeling very happy when none of my friends got offers either. I suppose its not a bad thing to compare yourself to your peers, but the fact that I wanted them to fail to make myself feel better worried me a bit. It seems natural to resent people who are smarter than you.
I'm despicable, I know.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Well I used to be an unfriendly person and had an annoyed outlook in life but that was only because I hanged out with my "friends" back in high school who are pretty much not nice people to begin with (they are the type who make fun of other people flaws especially me).

I suppose my recent example is when I was glad I did not get picked to do the extra shift and it end up the supervisor having to do it. Ok sure it is his responability given his title per say (he isn't officially the supervior but he does hold more authority than me) but none the less he is more deserving of having days off from work than me seeing how he has more work hours than me meaning he got less free time than me which I relish in my given free times.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Sometimes I make caustic comments just for the hell of it. Not because I want to offend anyone but because I don't like passing over the opportunity. It's an autopilot thing.

 

[Jux]

I would hardly say this makes you a 'terrible person'. I would think that a larger determining factor in one's character is how they conduct themselves over an extended period of time. Incidents like this don't define you. The guy that cut me off yesterday on the interstate? An asshole move. Was he a terrible person? I have no idea, probably not, he was likely just in a rush to catch his exit, and did something inconsiderate.

 

[krazykidd]

Really? That's it? Oh boy. Reading your post made me realise just how terrible i actually am.

Well where do we start .

-I promised myself that next girlfriend is going to be an orphan because have never been able to stand in-laws.
-Iv'e never been faithful to any girlfriend. Ever. And never got caught.
-I slept with two married women.
-I hate my parents
-I my family don't know i dropped out of college
-I my girlfriend doesn't know i have a son
-I'm on very poor terms with my ex-Girlfriend, and rarely get to see my son.
-I'm known for being promiscuous and binge drinking.
-I hate children and frequently imagine horrible things happening to them ( though i would never harm a human being)
-Ditto for animals.
- I'm a lie more than i tell the truth
- I accept myself as i am and feel no guilt.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Really? That's it? Oh boy. Reading your post made me realise just how terrible i actually am.

Well where do we start .

-I promised myself that next girlfriend is going to be an orphan because have never been able to stand in-laws.
-Iv'e never been faithful to any girlfriend. Ever. And never got caught.
-I slept with two married women.
-I hate my parents
-I my family don't know i dropped out of college
-I my girlfriend doesn't know i have a son
-I'm on very poor terms with my ex-Girlfriend, and rarely get to see my son.
-I'm known for being promiscuous and binge drinking.
-I hate children and frequently imagine horrible things happening to them ( though i would never harm a human being)
-Ditto for animals.
- I'm a lie more than i tell the truth
- I accept myself as i am and feel no guilt.

He also plays UMVC3 on the weekends and occasionally gets styled by Chie. Shoulda taken a page out of my book when it comes to women and just say fuck it* to the whole romantic relationship thing after the first couple of tries. It makes things much better, trust me i'm living proof.

[sub][sub]*not literally![/sub][/sub]

OT: Is it supposed to be bad to like that you're ahead of others? I know what you mean since i'm on an (almost) Uni course too and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Oh and if anyone tells me they have children, my opinion of them divebombs a few inches instantly. No offense, I just fucking despise children. Krazy, tell me, how should a man who has a son yet hates children live his life?

In spite of the stuff above, I know I'm not a terrible person at all. I'm entirely too nice for that to be true, as vague a statement as that is. I suppose empathetic is a better word for me actually. That and i'm the polar opposite of judgmental. Krazy as an example, your list may be a hive of scum and villainy but I couldn't hold any ill will against you if I tried.

 

[krazykidd]

Really? That's it? Oh boy. Reading your post made me realise just how terrible i actually am.

Well where do we start .

-I promised myself that next girlfriend is going to be an orphan because have never been able to stand in-laws.
-Iv'e never been faithful to any girlfriend. Ever. And never got caught.
-I slept with two married women.
-I hate my parents
-I my family don't know i dropped out of college
-I my girlfriend doesn't know i have a son
-I'm on very poor terms with my ex-Girlfriend, and rarely get to see my son.
-I'm known for being promiscuous and binge drinking.
-I hate children and frequently imagine horrible things happening to them ( though i would never harm a human being)
-Ditto for animals.
- I'm a lie more than i tell the truth
- I accept myself as i am and feel no guilt.

He also plays UMVC3 on the weekends and occasionally gets styled by Chie. Shoulda taken a page out of my book when it comes to women and just say fuck it* to the whole romantic relationship thing after the first couple of tries. It makes things much better, trust me i'm living proof.

[sub][sub]*not literally![/sub][/sub]

OT: Is it supposed to be bad to like that you're ahead of others? I know what you mean since i'm on an (almost) Uni course too and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Oh and if anyone tells me they have children, my opinion of them divebombs a few inches instantly. No offense, I just fucking despise children. Krazy, tell me, how should a man who has a son yet hates children live his life?

In spite of the stuff above, I know I'm not a terrible person at all. I'm entirely too nice for that to be true, as vague a statement as that is. I suppose empathetic is a better word for me actually. That and i'm the polar opposite of judgmental. Krazy as an example, your list may be a hive of scum and villainy but I couldn't hold any ill will against you if I tried.

Low blow man. Opening old wounds like that. My 360 died the same week the xbone came out, i smell foul play. So no more marvel for me, i miss it man. Seriously though, you have the right idea, i really wish i was asexual, it would save me time and money and sanity.

Also a lot of people like me dispite me being a terrible person. I hate kids , my son was an accident, i won't love him less, but if i could go back in time... Women are trouble i tell you. But i try my best. Anyways i tolerate him because i have to, i'm sure a lot of parents do that though.

 

[[REDACTED]]

Well, all the cis- white male tear threads I've been making make me seem like a prick

Which I'm fine with, at least I'm a funny prick... Right guys?

The very funniest of pricks.

Wait. That sounded better in my head.

OT: All the damn time. My list of character flaws would be many pages longer than my list of redeeming characteristics. It's not like I'm okay with myself being horrible though, and I do try to mitigate it as much as I can. It takes a lot of effort for me not to act like a terrible person, so you fuckers better appreciate... wait. Shit.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

-snip-

Spoiler: Okay, so image was bigger than I thought.

On topic: I'm sure I'll get grief for this, but...

I don't feel bad about people I don't know dying. This includes big events such as WTC or the Phillipine floods. I don't for a second claim them to be a good thing (I'm not WBC), but I have no emotional reaction to it.

They're abstracts to me. Statistics.

I don't care about people that I haven't forged emotional bonds with.

 

[nariette]

The fact that you realize that this is not a kind thing to think is a good thing I believe. I think that if you believe that there's is absolutely nothing wrong with putting yourself above others for whatever reason. However, there is nothing wrong with sometimes thinking that you are better in some ways than others (as long as you realize that it could come across as cocky). Modesty is a good thing but being too modest gets on peoples nerves. There is nothing wrong with putting an emphasis on your good points, but you still need to realize your bad sides.

 

[Nokturos]

I really hate people of other ethnicities. Blacks, hispanics, whatever. Also, homosexuals disgust me. I'd never do anything to one, of course.

Just my opinion, not meant to be a personal attack on anyone here.

Spoiler

None of that is true, I just think it's odd how people are completely okay with someone openly stating they hate children and fantasize about hurting them, yet the stuff I just posted will probably get a warning.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I really hate people of other ethnicities. Blacks, hispanics, whatever. Also, homosexuals disgust me. I'd never do anything to one, of course.

Just my opinion, not meant to be a personal attack on anyone here.

Spoiler

None of that is true, I just think it's odd how people are completely okay with someone openly stating they hate children and fantasize about hurting them, yet the stuff I just posted will probably get a warning.

Heh, good point!

I have plenty of moments that make me realise I'm just a weird, freaky loser, but honestly none that make me think I'm in anyway a horrible person. Though maybe that's what all psychopaths say. Evil people are hardly ever aware of how evil they really are, right?
I guess the only thing off the top of my head is that I don't give a damn about charity.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I really hate people of other ethnicities. Blacks, hispanics, whatever. Also, homosexuals disgust me. I'd never do anything to one, of course.

Just my opinion, not meant to be a personal attack on anyone here.

Spoiler

None of that is true, I just think it's odd how people are completely okay with someone openly stating they hate children and fantasize about hurting them, yet the stuff I just posted will probably get a warning.

I suppose their argument is that children will grow up whereas a person of a minority will stay that way for life.
That's the only way I can think of reasoning it at least. Someone who wants to hurt an innocent child for the sole reason of them being a child make me feel sick to be quite honest.
I know they can be little shits, but everyone was a little shit at some point.

OT: My self esteem is very low, but sometimes I see some people and just think, "...And I thought I was ugly!"
I know it's a horrible thing to think that "Hey, I'm not so bad, at least I don't look like that..." but I can't help it. ;;
I'm not shallow and I won't treat them any different at all. In fact, they're typically very nice people. I jut feel... better looking around some people but then beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[JoJo]

I really hate people of other ethnicities. Blacks, hispanics, whatever. Also, homosexuals disgust me. I'd never do anything to one, of course.

Just my opinion, not meant to be a personal attack on anyone here.

Spoiler

None of that is true, I just think it's odd how people are completely okay with someone openly stating they hate children and fantasize about hurting them, yet the stuff I just posted will probably get a warning.

It's something I actually brought up with the staff a long while back, and the official response was because the minimum age for being an Escapist is 13, children don't count among groups which you aren't allowed to hate on. Odd but there is a logic behind it I suppose.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I really hate people of other ethnicities. Blacks, hispanics, whatever. Also, homosexuals disgust me. I'd never do anything to one, of course.

Just my opinion, not meant to be a personal attack on anyone here.

Spoiler

None of that is true, I just think it's odd how people are completely okay with someone openly stating they hate children and fantasize about hurting them, yet the stuff I just posted will probably get a warning.

And to add to add to the previous to responses, you're allowed to be openly racist, homophobic and sexist on these forums. I have never seen anyone moderated for bigoted sentiments. As long as you don't use slurs or directly insult a user, you're set. Although I have seen plenty of people get away with saying "some blacks are niggers" and "some women are sluts", so even slurs are okay as long as you add some bullshit qualifier.