Yeah, that guy who was always saying that gay people should be locked up in camps and refused the vote, and described how he'd murder his daughter is she was a lesbian...IIRC, he got suspended for using transphobic slurs.manic_depressive13 said:
That moment when you realise you might be a terrible person.
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I've found I commonly jumped to conclusions to people based on their looks. Not the "that's the way I'm going to treat them" but I commonly come to unkind conclusions about them before I realize what I'm doing and tell the little voice in my head to shut up. Yeah, not proud of it.
That?s quite a similar experience to what I?ve been going through (albeit, at A-Levels). Due to my OCD and perfectionism, I procrastinate like a ***** and often feel like I?ve wasted my day when I get ready for bed, but hearing that there are people behind me in their work somewhat calms me down and pleases me. However, that doesn?t necessarily mean you?re morally clean. It?s not even ?schaudenfraude?. It?s just the knowledge that you?re not at the bottom of the list, since no-one likes to fall behind their classmates in their work.
But no, I?ve never thought that I was morally clean. In the past, I thought that I was a bad person who somehow deserved all my mental issues for not being strong enough to overcome problems in life, like other people. I still do that from time to time, but I?m more aware of it now, thanks to my CBT, and try to not let it bother as much.
Recently, I have been thinking that I?ve been acting quite arsey towards my Sociology teacher and this girl in my Sociology class. For the former, it?s just that I tend to complain a lot about the essays that she gives us to do, to the point that occasionally she gets pissed off the whole class (although, partly, that?s also because she feels like she doesn?t get enough classes with us a week, due to changes in A-Level schedules and whatnot) and she?s usually quite a calm and warm person. I?ve been meaning to kind of talk to her about a few of my issues as an explanation for my attitude, but not to give me any special treatment, and apologise to her.
As for the latter?the girl in my Sociology class?I was acquainted with her through classes in previous years, as well as AS History and Politics that I quit last year, but sometimes I get jealous as to how much better she seems to be doing than me educationally, despite seeming so ditzy. So now and then, I would jokily insult her intelligence, and whether or not she actually knows it?s a joke, I remember how I felt when my so-called ?friends? use to take the mickey out of me and pass it off as ?banter?, so I think I might apologise to her at some point too?if I can work up the courage, because we?re not really friends and I find it hard to talk to people I don?t have a certain level of closeness to (plus, she?s a pretty girl and I?m an annoyingly insecure teenage boy, so there?s that).
Also, sometimes, when I think about the fact that I?ve never had a ?proper? girlfriend or lost my virginity (LOL cliché teenage ?issues?), I look at gay people, or ugly people, or fat people, or this one guy I know who is a macho borderline sex pest yet is still popular with the ladies, and think, ?How the fuck can they find love and get laid and I, a genuinely nice person, somehow seem to carry a woman-repellent everywhere I go, no matter how fucking suave I try to act? Also, why the fuck do I care??
However, the thing that really makes me think I might be a terrible person is that?wel, I want people to know that I?ve never talked about this before, even online. I?m 18 and, as I aforementioned, currently go to school. Of course, there are younger children that I see walking about at school and stuff. Now, I don?t know the ages of some of these kids, but sometimes, I would see a little girl that is probably below 15 or perhaps barely even reached puberty wearing a skirt that isn?t even that short and I?d think of, like, going all ?Alex from A Clockwork Orange? on them. And I know that I would never do that and they?re just thoughts, but one of the things that I try to pride myself on is not being sexist and not getting into the kind of trouble other guys my age do. I dunno, maybe it?s just my OCD playing up.
But no, I?ve never thought that I was morally clean. In the past, I thought that I was a bad person who somehow deserved all my mental issues for not being strong enough to overcome problems in life, like other people. I still do that from time to time, but I?m more aware of it now, thanks to my CBT, and try to not let it bother as much.
Recently, I have been thinking that I?ve been acting quite arsey towards my Sociology teacher and this girl in my Sociology class. For the former, it?s just that I tend to complain a lot about the essays that she gives us to do, to the point that occasionally she gets pissed off the whole class (although, partly, that?s also because she feels like she doesn?t get enough classes with us a week, due to changes in A-Level schedules and whatnot) and she?s usually quite a calm and warm person. I?ve been meaning to kind of talk to her about a few of my issues as an explanation for my attitude, but not to give me any special treatment, and apologise to her.
As for the latter?the girl in my Sociology class?I was acquainted with her through classes in previous years, as well as AS History and Politics that I quit last year, but sometimes I get jealous as to how much better she seems to be doing than me educationally, despite seeming so ditzy. So now and then, I would jokily insult her intelligence, and whether or not she actually knows it?s a joke, I remember how I felt when my so-called ?friends? use to take the mickey out of me and pass it off as ?banter?, so I think I might apologise to her at some point too?if I can work up the courage, because we?re not really friends and I find it hard to talk to people I don?t have a certain level of closeness to (plus, she?s a pretty girl and I?m an annoyingly insecure teenage boy, so there?s that).
Also, sometimes, when I think about the fact that I?ve never had a ?proper? girlfriend or lost my virginity (LOL cliché teenage ?issues?), I look at gay people, or ugly people, or fat people, or this one guy I know who is a macho borderline sex pest yet is still popular with the ladies, and think, ?How the fuck can they find love and get laid and I, a genuinely nice person, somehow seem to carry a woman-repellent everywhere I go, no matter how fucking suave I try to act? Also, why the fuck do I care??
However, the thing that really makes me think I might be a terrible person is that?wel, I want people to know that I?ve never talked about this before, even online. I?m 18 and, as I aforementioned, currently go to school. Of course, there are younger children that I see walking about at school and stuff. Now, I don?t know the ages of some of these kids, but sometimes, I would see a little girl that is probably below 15 or perhaps barely even reached puberty wearing a skirt that isn?t even that short and I?d think of, like, going all ?Alex from A Clockwork Orange? on them. And I know that I would never do that and they?re just thoughts, but one of the things that I try to pride myself on is not being sexist and not getting into the kind of trouble other guys my age do. I dunno, maybe it?s just my OCD playing up.
Yes.
I'll just come out and say that there are times where a person can be hurt or killed and society deems one should feel sorry for the person because they didn't deserve that and such and such. And I'll be like: Well, I won't say they did deserve it but there are prices to pay. That's yours.
It's like... "You did blank. And now this bad thing happened to you. Sucks to be you."
I'll just come out and say that there are times where a person can be hurt or killed and society deems one should feel sorry for the person because they didn't deserve that and such and such. And I'll be like: Well, I won't say they did deserve it but there are prices to pay. That's yours.
It's like... "You did blank. And now this bad thing happened to you. Sucks to be you."
![[REDACTED]](https://eg-forums-escapist-data.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/data/avatars/l/129/129871.jpg?1621054700){kind=avatar}
I have actually seen things like that get moderated. I remember there was this one user, GunsmithKitten, who got banned for posting a bunch of hateful rants against the Japanese. And although I can't think of any examples off the top of my head, I know I've seen warnings slapped on some of the more, er, "enthusiastic" posters in the Anita Sarkeesian threads.manic_depressive13 said:
Sometimes my response to foreveralone people mentally is `Yes, so you should be`.
I don't really express this to the people involved but it's not a nice thing to think.
Much love to the mods for the work that they do, sure it's not easy, but it's not like people don't get away with saying extreme shit on here.
I don't really express this to the people involved but it's not a nice thing to think.
Also this, as long as you know the right words to say and not say you can pretty much get away with anything.manic_depressive13 said:
Much love to the mods for the work that they do, sure it's not easy, but it's not like people don't get away with saying extreme shit on here.
Those users were moderated for being overly antagonistic or flaming. If people were moderated just for being bigots it wouldn't be just the "enthusiastic" posters who got moderated in Sarkeesian threads. Those threads are always overflowing with sexism. If those rants were about CoD fans or Mass effect, they would have been treated the same. These posters are getting moderated for their aggressive tone, not for their bigotry.[REDACTED said:
Amethyst Wind said:Doclector said:
On topic: I'm sure I'll get grief for this, but...
I don't feel bad about people I don't know dying. This includes big events such as WTC or the Phillipine floods. I don't for a second claim them to be a good thing (I'm not WBC), but I have no emotional reaction to it.
They're abstracts to me. Statistics.
I don't care about people that I haven't forged emotional bonds with.
Yeah, I know I'm a terribly apathetic bastard, so I tend to just ignore the agony of those I don't care about.
...Phasmal said:
Yeah, I've been guilty of this too. I don't care what someone looks like, but I can't stand listening to people mope about things that they have the power to change. You get out of life what you put into it. I do feel bad for thinking this though, so I do at least try to be nice to everyone.
OT: I've had some periods in my past where I basically had to admit I was a bit of an ass hole. If I met 15 year old me I would probably slap him in the face, the little shit head! Humility is a bitter pill to swallow.
I mostly a nice guy, but I'm also very cynical.
My initial response to the question was "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I've been an jackhole since middle school."
As a defense mechanism, I befriended the girlfriends of the racist school bullies, thereby forcing them to leave me alone. So it was equal parts douchebaggery and self-preservation.
So yeah, I'll go out of my way to help my friends, but I will totally "keep it real" to the point of being a jerk if I feel the inclination.
My initial response to the question was "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I've been an jackhole since middle school."
As a defense mechanism, I befriended the girlfriends of the racist school bullies, thereby forcing them to leave me alone. So it was equal parts douchebaggery and self-preservation.
So yeah, I'll go out of my way to help my friends, but I will totally "keep it real" to the point of being a jerk if I feel the inclination.
No.
...I feel really alone.
If I decide that there's a part of my attitude or outlook that's bad, I adjust it. I often feel like a lazy slob who has little idea what he's doing in life, but a terrible person? Not really.
...I feel really alone.
If I decide that there's a part of my attitude or outlook that's bad, I adjust it. I often feel like a lazy slob who has little idea what he's doing in life, but a terrible person? Not really.
In terms of being a horrible person, it all depends on how you angle it.
That said, I can think of quite a few for myself.
- I have cleptomanic urges, and have in the past given in to them, albeit it's usually been small things
- I can't stand children
- I think internet SJW's, more than anything, just actively look for things to be offended by and harass content creators for not pandering to them, which is not really furthering any sort of understanding.
- I despise the fandoms for Homestuck, Sherlock, Supernatural, Merlin and other shows people will not stop banging on about
- While never with ill intent, I find I like manipulating people more than I should.
- I realize I am like this, and yet have the nerve to consider myself a slightly decent person.
That said, I can think of quite a few for myself.
- I have cleptomanic urges, and have in the past given in to them, albeit it's usually been small things
- I can't stand children
- I think internet SJW's, more than anything, just actively look for things to be offended by and harass content creators for not pandering to them, which is not really furthering any sort of understanding.
- I despise the fandoms for Homestuck, Sherlock, Supernatural, Merlin and other shows people will not stop banging on about
- While never with ill intent, I find I like manipulating people more than I should.
- I realize I am like this, and yet have the nerve to consider myself a slightly decent person.
Growing up, i had a temper and too much pride. I had a short fuse, and then they put me on ritalin after my first suicide attempt. The ritalin dissolved my fuse entirely. I would see the slightest disrespect as a justified reason to inflict great harm upon others. If any other kid attempted to stand behind me to line up after recess, i would get behind them. If the tried again to get behind me, i would beat them as much as i could till the teachers pulled me off them. I put one kid on a respirator this way.
If a kid attempted to bully me (i was often the smallest kid on my class during elementary school and i wore glasses), same deal. I was known for beating the shit out of 5th graders, while only being in 3rd(6th graders liked me so i never fought them).
I still remember a girl who sat in front of me, made a disparaging remark about me to the class. My response was to pick up the 3 thick hard cover books on my desk and i brought them down overhanded on the back of her head. Her head hit her desk and bounced off. She fell out of her desk after her head bounced into a heap on the floor. There was no crying, i had knocked her out. I felt not the slightest bit bad about it. In my mind, she had asked for it.
At one point i remember breaking a friend of mines arm and they gave him a cast for a couple months. I don't even remember why. there were a lot of other incidents but they became so common-place that i can't remember most of them.
Finally one day, during summer between 6th and 7th grade i woke up and it all suddenly flooded back to me. I was suddenly overcome with a huge degree of guilt for all the people i had hurt. I felt like a monster. My parents had recently taken me off the ritalin. While it helped in making me what i was, it had only enabled me. It didn't make me a monster, just helped me express it. I resolved to throw away my pride. I even chose to become a pacifist. I spent my jr high and high school years enduring the beatings of others. I saw it as my penance. I never swung back.
Practicality forced me to end my period of passivism when i became a homeless 17 yr old, but i always hold onto the regret i still feel over what i was, to ground me so i never become a monster again. It's also a large part of why i never drink or do drugs. I've seen who i am when i'm unrestrained and i don't want to be that person ever again.
If a kid attempted to bully me (i was often the smallest kid on my class during elementary school and i wore glasses), same deal. I was known for beating the shit out of 5th graders, while only being in 3rd(6th graders liked me so i never fought them).
I still remember a girl who sat in front of me, made a disparaging remark about me to the class. My response was to pick up the 3 thick hard cover books on my desk and i brought them down overhanded on the back of her head. Her head hit her desk and bounced off. She fell out of her desk after her head bounced into a heap on the floor. There was no crying, i had knocked her out. I felt not the slightest bit bad about it. In my mind, she had asked for it.
At one point i remember breaking a friend of mines arm and they gave him a cast for a couple months. I don't even remember why. there were a lot of other incidents but they became so common-place that i can't remember most of them.
Finally one day, during summer between 6th and 7th grade i woke up and it all suddenly flooded back to me. I was suddenly overcome with a huge degree of guilt for all the people i had hurt. I felt like a monster. My parents had recently taken me off the ritalin. While it helped in making me what i was, it had only enabled me. It didn't make me a monster, just helped me express it. I resolved to throw away my pride. I even chose to become a pacifist. I spent my jr high and high school years enduring the beatings of others. I saw it as my penance. I never swung back.
Practicality forced me to end my period of passivism when i became a homeless 17 yr old, but i always hold onto the regret i still feel over what i was, to ground me so i never become a monster again. It's also a large part of why i never drink or do drugs. I've seen who i am when i'm unrestrained and i don't want to be that person ever again.
Pfft, light weight.krazykidd said:
I actually like Nazeem.
I also get incredibly spiteful to anyone who outwardly displays their own happiness because jelly.
Captcha: what do you associate with Nebraska?
Answer: eiffel 65 doing the splits as they gargle molten burritos made from the meat of the great beaver.
That hardly makes you terrible. What would make you terrible is if you forced other people to look at it because you know they hate seeing that kind of shit. Like some friends did to me once. Bastards. I'm just glad I was drunk enough to not remember much of it.Jasper van Heycop said:
As for myself, I have this terrible tendency to be very self-righteous. I've been trying to curb it in since I realized this in a moment of self-insight, but when something bad happens to someone who has wronged me in any way, my first reaction is to feel justification.
Example: there's this old woman on my bus line who has, on several occasions, pushed herself into an absurdly full bus, even though the next one would come in about 3 minutes and probably be far less full, yet she still feels the need to cram these people even further together. So recently, same situation, but this time the bus doors close on her while she's doing this, she falls out backwards, and hits her head on the sidewalk. And my first thought is: "Well, that's what you get."
And I realize that's fucked up, I have no idea how seriously she hit her head, but in that instant, I felt satisfaction instead of sympathy. And well, that's just mean, and yet it's my first reaction in any situation like this. So I'm at least a little bit terrible.
Every morning when I wake up.
But seriously....
I can be a real dick to people. I try not to be and tend not to be a dick except when other people are being dicks, but I have bad days. More of them now that I'm in chronic pain territory. I don't consider that an excuse, mind. I still think it's wrong, I still think it's bad. I also think it is what it is.
But seriously....
I can be a real dick to people. I try not to be and tend not to be a dick except when other people are being dicks, but I have bad days. More of them now that I'm in chronic pain territory. I don't consider that an excuse, mind. I still think it's wrong, I still think it's bad. I also think it is what it is.