That's right, another love question.

[Matt East]

I'm in a situation, me and two of my friends are in love with the same girl.
One of them, Holt, is engaged to her (which everybody in our friend group agrees is a stupid idea), he's also a violent alcoholic (he doesn't hit her, he just finds trouble), anyway, the other friend, Holt's best friend, Ryan is madly in love with her to, which has made shit awkward between them.
Then there's me....., I love her so much, and she knows it, she knows how we all feel, and she has a list. It goes Ryan, then her fiancee, then me, she actively admits that she loves us all in a romantic sense.

I have no fucking clue what to do, I can't decide whether I should bail on her (I don't want to, but sometimes I feel like I have to)or man up and try to have a non-romantic relationship with her.
Last night she was trying to work out why she isn't with me, but she was fair stoned, so that question remained unanswered.

Point is, what do I do?

 

[EmzOLV]

This one is way, way too complicated.
I've been in something - not too super similar - but I was in love with my best friend and so was this other girl. He was flirting with both of us and unsure of who to go out with.

He ended up going out with this other girl and I was totally mortified, but I got over it. Best part was, I always stayed friends with him and after 6/7 years of being best mates, we came to realise that we really do care a lot about each other.

I'm not going to tell you how it ended last week because that's sad.

What I'm saying is, look, there's so many other people out there who you WILL love whether you think you will, or whether you think she's the only one you will, and so on, and although you don't have to listen to a word any of us says, I say its not worth getting your heart broken this time by waiting to see if she picks you when she already gave you a list of priorities! Walk away out of your own choice

 

[Slash Dementia]

Too complicated. I'd say to bail on the romantic part. It'll stress your friendships less, and if you did go out with her eventually, I think that your friends (most importantly, her fiance) would resent you in a way. Just be friends with her.

There are "other fish in the sea," and even if you had your sights on one, it's not too hard to get another fish on the line--it just takes some time.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I'd run away from that situation as fast as your little feet will carry you. It has catastrophe written all over it. I'm not even going to get into how someone who "romantically loves" three friends all at the same time, one of them a violent alcoholic (and has a little ranking system for what order she loves them in), is dropping red flags all over the place.

 

[Sandernista]

Bail.

This is only going to end with almost everyone hurt. It's useless to continue to pursue her.

 

[sir.rutthed]

Sounds to me like she's just in it for the attention. Get out now, that one's nothing but trouble. I guarantee once most of you start moving on and she's only got one guy she'll suddenly develop feelings for a couple other guys. Do yourself a favor and get out now.

 

[Galletea]

I'd run in the other direction. This girl is playing you. At least that's how it comes across.
I suggest you put some distance between you, spend some time away from her. Maybe you'll get over her quicker than you'd expect. If she's engaged to one guy and stringing along two others then it will always be a lose/lose situation for you. I don't think you'll manage a non-romantic relationship, since she will take advantage of you, one way or another.

 

[Matt East]

Yeah, she basically ignored all three of us at a party a few days ago, I'll stick around for the conversation and the sharing of feelings, but I ain't taking it further than that, no freakin' way.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

when there are 3 guys, former friends, bashing each others brains out, next to them there will be standing a woman enjoying the attention she is getting.

i seriously think she is suspicious of this behaviour. it shure isnt easy getting out of a relationship. but damn she knows what she wants and will act according to it. She is not changing it, so she likes the state of playing the role of Penelope here.

 

[TheBlakkat]

When two guys like one girl, one of them ought to act like a gentleman, and step aside.

When three guys like the same girl? The one with an ounce of sense in him bails while the other two slug it out (Returning with popcorn is optional).

Jokes aside, though, I think you should stay out of this one. At best, the girl is genuinely torn between the three of you, and at worst, she's emotionally unstable and using you three as a means of making herself feel wanted/boosting her self-confidence. If I were you, I'd stay away from the girl (and optionally the friends) until you stop havng feelings for her, or reduce them to a manageable level. I ended a relationship last february and (seeing as?) it didn't get serious at all, we remained friends, and I only managed to get her (mostly) out of my mind recently.

 

[Batou667]

I'm in a situation, me and two of my friends are in love with the same girl.
One of them, Holt, is engaged to her (which everybody in our friend group agrees is a stupid idea), he's also a violent alcoholic (he doesn't hit her, he just finds trouble), anyway, the other friend, Holt's best friend, Ryan is madly in love with her to, which has made shit awkward between them.

I read up to here and alarm bells started going in my head. If you have any respect for your own sanity you'll recognise this situation for the trainwrecked clusterf*ck that it is and jump ship immediately (to mangle a metaphor). Make an effort to meet new girls, and you'll realise that this girl isn't so unique.