The 10 comandments of Gaming
- Thread starter Switchlurk
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Player:
Thou shalt not use "your mom" instead of a witty retort.
Thou shalt not squeak.
Thou shalt not become a fanboy/fangirl.
Thou shalt not be a screen-looking bastard (if split-screen is the only option).
Thou shalt be a team player.
Developer:
Thou shalt not include superkill weapons.
Thou shalt not fix what is not broken.
Thou shalt test the game until it is considered "playable".
Thou shalt not use unskippable credits.
Thou shalt not ignore the people.
Thou shalt not use "your mom" instead of a witty retort.
Thou shalt not squeak.
Thou shalt not become a fanboy/fangirl.
Thou shalt not be a screen-looking bastard (if split-screen is the only option).
Thou shalt be a team player.
Developer:
Thou shalt not include superkill weapons.
Thou shalt not fix what is not broken.
Thou shalt test the game until it is considered "playable".
Thou shalt not use unskippable credits.
Thou shalt not ignore the people.
Thou shalt not proceed to call in a new design team for the NEXT sequel who actively state "Yeah, we really don't give a shit about the license, this game is NOT gonna be for fans of the original".scnj said:
Thou shalt not kill thy player with fall unreasonable damage.
If though doth insist on making a subplot, make it a SUBplot, one that must be followed seperate to the story. Don't show the player into the sack with one of the romance NPCs even though they never spoke to them once. (I glance in they general direction, Mass Effect).
Thou shalt not release DLC. Though shalt work on your game and not release it until it is god damn finished you lazy fecks.
Thou shalt not manipulate the network
Thou shalt not leave your teammates in the midst of combat(unless someone is manipulating the network,or there's an ungodly amount of lag)
Thou shalt not betray(Unless your teammates are dicks.)
Thou shalt not point out the obvious(Btw,did you ever notice that Octoroks are OCTUPUS ROCKS?)
Thou shalt not end a game you're hosting(Unless all your players are total dicks)
Thou shalt not quote "The Cake Is A Lie" repeatedly(Srsly.)
Thou shalt use good sportsmanship
Thou shalt not brag about your gamerscore
Thou shalt not complain about your teammates being skilled
Thou shalt obey all Commandments
That good enough?It's all I could think of...
Thou shalt not leave your teammates in the midst of combat(unless someone is manipulating the network,or there's an ungodly amount of lag)
Thou shalt not betray(Unless your teammates are dicks.)
Thou shalt not point out the obvious(Btw,did you ever notice that Octoroks are OCTUPUS ROCKS?)
Thou shalt not end a game you're hosting(Unless all your players are total dicks)
Thou shalt not quote "The Cake Is A Lie" repeatedly(Srsly.)
Thou shalt use good sportsmanship
Thou shalt not brag about your gamerscore
Thou shalt not complain about your teammates being skilled
Thou shalt obey all Commandments
That good enough?It's all I could think of...
(This one goes out to you X3 and all those MMOs with loooooooong learning curves)
Thou shalt not make thine player work boredly in thy name for more then one hour of thine time to reach thine fun part of thine game.
Thou shalt not make training enemies able to two shot thine player in thine nooby area.
Thou shall not force thine players to collect flowers at 2 gold a piece for three hours for a meager 300 gold profit, less ye be blown to bits, in thy mercy.
(This goes out to Gothic III)
Thine combat system shalt be tested extensively, before release, lest ye players suffer from stun lock as level 30 from thine level 1 wolf pup.
(This goes out to oblivion)
Thou shalt not release thine game without first tweaking thine physics engine so thy people do not fall slower then a leaf, nay! A feather!
Thou shalt tweak facial expressions and animations, before thy release!
thats 6 of mine.
Thou shalt not make thine player work boredly in thy name for more then one hour of thine time to reach thine fun part of thine game.
Thou shalt not make training enemies able to two shot thine player in thine nooby area.
Thou shall not force thine players to collect flowers at 2 gold a piece for three hours for a meager 300 gold profit, less ye be blown to bits, in thy mercy.
(This goes out to Gothic III)
Thine combat system shalt be tested extensively, before release, lest ye players suffer from stun lock as level 30 from thine level 1 wolf pup.
(This goes out to oblivion)
Thou shalt not release thine game without first tweaking thine physics engine so thy people do not fall slower then a leaf, nay! A feather!
Thou shalt tweak facial expressions and animations, before thy release!
thats 6 of mine.
niceI am Jack said:
THOU SHALT NOT OVER-RELY ON GIMMICKS
THOU SHALT NOT TRY TO GET AWAY WITH A 5-HOUR GAME BY FILLING THE REST FULL OF GRIND
THOU SHALT BRING OUT "HALF-LIFE 2 EPISODE 3" AND "STARCRAFT 2" ALREADY
THOU SHALT NOT MAKE ANY MORE "POKEMON" GAMES!!!!!!
That's all I got for now.
The 10 Commandments for Developers
1. Thou shalt NOT give the player a limited number of lives
2. Thou shalt NOT give the enemies increasingly powerful weapons in lieu of smarter AI as thine game progresses (I'm looking at you, Mercenaries)
3. Thou SHALT make foliage opaque to thine foes (Far Cry [2], Crysis, etc.)
4. Thou shalt NOT have quick-time-event
5. If thou must have quick-time-events, thou SHALL make them occur often enough that thine players can predict them coming, and they SHALL be of short length
6. Thou shalt NOT allow thine single player development to suffer at the hands of multiplayer development (*Glares menacingly at Halo*)
7. Thou shalt NOT dumb down a game/sequel just to be able to sell copies on consoles (DEUS EX and [bio/system] SHOCK)
8. If thine game is marketed as a shooter, then thine players SHALL have to shoot. If thine game is marketed as a sneaker, then thine players SHALL have to sneak. These two shall NOT be mixed merely to add dramatic effect (A nod towards Assassins Creed)
9. Thou SHALT at least attempt to make thine players bond with thine characters if thou willst make them suffer some personal tragedy
10th, and most importantly;
Thine players give unto you their trust (not to mention their $60) that thou willst tell an interesting story, and tell it compellingly. Thou SHALT take pride in, and nurture thine artform, for thine media is no higher nor lower than any other. Thou SHALT NOT sacrifice storytelling or gameplay to meet some arbitrary time goal. Thine players are patient, and would prefer a completed game a few weeks or months later than an incomplete one.
tl;dr: Don't be a halfass developer
I'll step down now
1. Thou shalt NOT give the player a limited number of lives
2. Thou shalt NOT give the enemies increasingly powerful weapons in lieu of smarter AI as thine game progresses (I'm looking at you, Mercenaries)
3. Thou SHALT make foliage opaque to thine foes (Far Cry [2], Crysis, etc.)
4. Thou shalt NOT have quick-time-event
5. If thou must have quick-time-events, thou SHALL make them occur often enough that thine players can predict them coming, and they SHALL be of short length
6. Thou shalt NOT allow thine single player development to suffer at the hands of multiplayer development (*Glares menacingly at Halo*)
7. Thou shalt NOT dumb down a game/sequel just to be able to sell copies on consoles (DEUS EX and [bio/system] SHOCK)
8. If thine game is marketed as a shooter, then thine players SHALL have to shoot. If thine game is marketed as a sneaker, then thine players SHALL have to sneak. These two shall NOT be mixed merely to add dramatic effect (A nod towards Assassins Creed)
9. Thou SHALT at least attempt to make thine players bond with thine characters if thou willst make them suffer some personal tragedy
10th, and most importantly;
Thine players give unto you their trust (not to mention their $60) that thou willst tell an interesting story, and tell it compellingly. Thou SHALT take pride in, and nurture thine artform, for thine media is no higher nor lower than any other. Thou SHALT NOT sacrifice storytelling or gameplay to meet some arbitrary time goal. Thine players are patient, and would prefer a completed game a few weeks or months later than an incomplete one.
tl;dr: Don't be a halfass developer
I'll step down now
Developers
Though shalt make tutorials, not walkthroughs
Gamers
Though shalt not, whilst inviting thine friend to play on a game for their fist time, hand them the controller and state, "figure it out yourself"
this happened to me first time I played Halo 3, and i don't have a 360 and it was online
Though shalt make tutorials, not walkthroughs
Gamers
Though shalt not, whilst inviting thine friend to play on a game for their fist time, hand them the controller and state, "figure it out yourself"
this happened to me first time I played Halo 3, and i don't have a 360 and it was online
Thou Shalt not Steal the Idea I had when I was 6 and was playing Superman 64!!!
I'm just kidding, but I was thinking about that about a year ago. I even have the list I made right here, but its 7 Sins instead of 10 commandments.
1. Thou shalt not be less than 8 hours. (Exception of Portal)
2. Thou shalt have good controls.
3. Thou shalt not have puzzles that insult my intelligence, RE5...
4. Thou must have interesting characters
5. Thou must have a good ending. No cliffhangers unless 100 percent sure there will be a sequel.
6. Thou shalt not make a boss fight one big quicktime event.
7. (The deadliest of all)
Thou shalt not make the first boss the hardest and make the last boss seem like the ultimate form of evil but yet he's still the easiest fucking boss in the entire game and [b/]YES I'M TALKING TO YOU OCARINA OF TIME!!![/b]
I'm just kidding, but I was thinking about that about a year ago. I even have the list I made right here, but its 7 Sins instead of 10 commandments.
1. Thou shalt not be less than 8 hours. (Exception of Portal)
2. Thou shalt have good controls.
3. Thou shalt not have puzzles that insult my intelligence, RE5...
4. Thou must have interesting characters
5. Thou must have a good ending. No cliffhangers unless 100 percent sure there will be a sequel.
6. Thou shalt not make a boss fight one big quicktime event.
7. (The deadliest of all)
Thou shalt not make the first boss the hardest and make the last boss seem like the ultimate form of evil but yet he's still the easiest fucking boss in the entire game and [b/]YES I'M TALKING TO YOU OCARINA OF TIME!!![/b]
Developers and Publishers:
1. Thou shall not charge money for extremely old DLC.
2. Thou shall not charge more than 60 dollars for a game or overprice DLC.
3. Thou shall not make limited editions for extra cash.
4. Thou shall not make me find a save point at 2:00 am.
5. Thou shall be original.
6. Thou shall not make games for the Wii.
7. Thou shall not release a sequel simply for extra cash.
8. Thou shall not include boring levels simply to make the game longer.
9. Thou shall not be lazy or cut corners.
10. Thou shall not have an overly ambitious story when it's clearly not needed.
Players:
1. Thou shall play more games other than Call of Duty and Halo.
2. Thou shall not blindly buy every DLC and map pack. (3 maps you rarely use =10 bucks? What? Avatar items are also pathetic.)
3. Thou shall not abuse cheap strategies.
4. Thou shall even out teams when a game is one-sided.
5. Thou shall always put fun and fair above stats and victory.
6. Thou shall ALWAYS read reviews and do research before purchasing a game.
7. Thou shall not fall for obvious fishing schemes (FREE MS POINTS!) or annoying chain letters.
8. Thou shall not give in to marketing techniques like preorder bonuses and limited editions.
9. Thou shall not feed negative sterotypes.
10. Thou shall always remember that although he may be playing a different console than you, he is still a fellow gamer and should be treated as such. Unless said gamer makes it absolutely impossible.
1. Thou shall not charge money for extremely old DLC.
2. Thou shall not charge more than 60 dollars for a game or overprice DLC.
3. Thou shall not make limited editions for extra cash.
4. Thou shall not make me find a save point at 2:00 am.
5. Thou shall be original.
6. Thou shall not make games for the Wii.
7. Thou shall not release a sequel simply for extra cash.
8. Thou shall not include boring levels simply to make the game longer.
9. Thou shall not be lazy or cut corners.
10. Thou shall not have an overly ambitious story when it's clearly not needed.
Players:
1. Thou shall play more games other than Call of Duty and Halo.
2. Thou shall not blindly buy every DLC and map pack. (3 maps you rarely use =10 bucks? What? Avatar items are also pathetic.)
3. Thou shall not abuse cheap strategies.
4. Thou shall even out teams when a game is one-sided.
5. Thou shall always put fun and fair above stats and victory.
6. Thou shall ALWAYS read reviews and do research before purchasing a game.
7. Thou shall not fall for obvious fishing schemes (FREE MS POINTS!) or annoying chain letters.
8. Thou shall not give in to marketing techniques like preorder bonuses and limited editions.
9. Thou shall not feed negative sterotypes.
10. Thou shall always remember that although he may be playing a different console than you, he is still a fellow gamer and should be treated as such. Unless said gamer makes it absolutely impossible.
Simply because the "Legend of Zelda" franchise has been lengthened unnecessarily so many times that you'd have to be an autistic child with 5/20 vision not to notice that Nintendo has had Link's ass more time's than the 8-bit Toad sprite has flipped off the world (Google it).tehweave said:
Unless it's a game based on a Disney character than only has a career due to the fact that the world is scared of Walt's ghost **cough*cough*Hannah Montana*cough**. Then the developers can hype it all they want, everyone's still gonna hate it.Tanfastic said: