The 10 comandments of Gaming

[stormcaller]

Developer: Thou shall not listen to your community website forums

Player: Thou shall not stand in the fire, ever.

 

[Queen Michael]

For developers:

1. Thou shalt not have escort mission where the one being escorted is a moron.
2. Thou shalt not give the player a finite number of lives.
3. Thou shalt make clear what the player is supposed to do.
4. Thou shalt not include unlockable characters who art carbon copies of old ones.
5. Thou shalt not make thy games ridiculously difficult.
6. Thou shalt not have any character repeating the same lines again and again during boss fights and the like. This driveth anyone crazy.

 

[tehweave]

Player: Thou shalt not play Zelda.

I'm guessing it's something more complex than "Nintendo is a company full of twats" so I'll ask.

Why?

Simply because the "Legend of Zelda" franchise has been lengthened unnecessarily so many times that you'd have to be an autistic child with 5/20 vision not to notice that Nintendo has had Link's ass more time's than the 8-bit Toad sprite has flipped off the world (Google it).

True. But can't the same be said about Metal Gear? Or Final Fantasy? Or Mario? (Definitely Mario.)

 

[KrackleJack]

Thou shall not make a shitty game

 

[quack35]

Thou shalt not have the demo of the game be the tutorial level.

 

[AntimatterKING]

Player: Thou shalt not play Zelda.

I'm guessing it's something more complex than "Nintendo is a company full of twats" so I'll ask.

Why?

Simply because the "Legend of Zelda" franchise has been lengthened unnecessarily so many times that you'd have to be an autistic child with 5/20 vision not to notice that Nintendo has had Link's ass more time's than the 8-bit Toad sprite has flipped off the world (Google it).

True. But can't the same be said about Metal Gear? Or Final Fantasy? Or Mario? (Definitely Mario.)

Except that Mario actually stayed FUN. Metal Gear has turned into fan service for people with old-age-o-philia, and if I get started on Final Fantasy I'll be writing this comment all night so I'm simply going to say that whoever decided that F.F. #6 would be a good idea needs to be frozen and stuck to the top of a train that just barely clears the first bridge it goes under.

 

[dark-amon]

Thou shall not hate thy neighbour console.
Thou shall not hack.
Thou shall not use the term n00b, unless the acused actually is one.
Thou shall not abuse the bodies if the defeated.
Thou shall not abuse any language upon fair defeat.
Thou shall respect the newbie-player.
Thou shall not judge upon thy allies first defeat.
Thou shall not abuse thy mic in onlineplay.
Thou shall enjoy the game instead of ruining it for thy fellow gamer.
Thou shall not be a prick!

 

[supermaster1337]

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it...

(This isn't really relevant to anything but I felt like posting it.)

Not relevant my rear end. This is completely necessary.

 

[Deleric]

Thou shalt not betray thigh fellow man

(Don't fucking teamkill.)

And then the allmighty Duke Nukem declared "Let he who is without sin slate the first release date".

Miyamoto 4:13.

Amen.

 

[Worgen]

thou shall not include jackassery drm measures

players: thou shall not pirate drm free games and shall provide devs that support games beyond the launch with further investment

 

[Aqualung]

tho shall not include jackassery drm measures

players: tho shall not pirate drm free games and shall provide devs that support games beyond the launch with further investment

Thou shall learn to write properly in thy native tongue.

 

[Drakmorg]

Thou shalt not lengthen gameplay by repeating the same level with minor variations.
Thou shalt not include a stealth level in games that do not always allow for a stealth approach.
Thou shalt not implement a moral choice system that has no affect on gameplay.

 

[Kiju]

Ooh, ooh, I have one!

Thou shalt not exploit the game's quirks. ._.

 

[Worgen]

tho shall not include jackassery drm measures

players: tho shall not pirate drm free games and shall provide devs that support games beyond the launch with further investment

Thou shall learn to write properly in thy native tongue.

thou shall be sensetive to thy comrades who have suffered from wows ability to ruin spelling and puncuation