The Abomination that is Twilight

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Internet Kraken

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Mar 18, 2009
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You know, I've heard far more people berating Twilight than praising it. Makes you wonder if this series becoming widely known was only due to people praising. Maybe all this hate for Twilight has actually resulted in the series getting more attention than it would have normally acquired?

But no! That would be impossible! All this blind hate surely only leads to productive things!
 

Cherry Cola

Your daddy, your Rock'n'Rolla
Jun 26, 2009
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Crazzee said:
Hubilub said:
"I hate on something popular. I'm so cool!"

I'm actually looking forward to Eclipse coming out. New Moon might not have been a very good film, but dang it, it was funny as hell, and I'm expecting the same so-bad-it's-hilarious quality from Eclipse.
I thought Twilight was pretty fun to watch for the so-bad-it's-funny value, but I found New Moon to be really boring. It was a bit disappointing after how fun the first one was to be honest. Pretty nice cinematography though.
The scene with Jakob and the motorcycle killed me.

"Bella! Are you ok? Hold on, you're bleeding a tiny little bit on your forehead"
*takes off entire shirt, dries blood away, then throws the shirt away*

It was so uncalled for and so freaking hilarious. Even the Twilight fans laughed at that scene.
 

Arcanite Ripper

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May 1, 2010
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For me being evidently blue-collar, the whole "Psychosexual implications" of fantasy-myth subject matter is hard to swallow, especially when it seems insulting to not let you in on the matter.

I've always regarded Twilight and other such fiction as 'modernized' versions of the typical girl's fantasy; Princess in a castle waiting for knight in shining armor. With that still present, adding A mysterious fetished factor of a vampire-werewolf world where you're not really understanding pique your interest to follow your supposed 'knight' and see where it leads. With pretty boys and envious tug-o-war between two different knights, you're golden.

I imagine most of the hatred and bile that's thrown at this 'immersive' fairy tale is, as stated above, slightly insulting to what we've came to accept. Substantially, an empty-headed couple spewing coutnless one-liners and invoking age-old media tropes into their own communicative signals to generate attraction is mocking, since it's tricky to understand; especially when trodding over already acknowledged folklore of said mythical creatures into this teenage-grab post stamp is tickling our cynical nerves.

With such a loyal fanbase too. Do those people enjoy the post-stamp, or their knight tale enough to excuse the issue, being they're too busy to imagine themselves in a "better", similar situation?

I don't know, I don't care. We're fine in our two different worlds.
 

SquirrelPants

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Dec 22, 2008
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Hubilub said:
Crazzee said:
Hubilub said:
"I hate on something popular. I'm so cool!"

I'm actually looking forward to Eclipse coming out. New Moon might not have been a very good film, but dang it, it was funny as hell, and I'm expecting the same so-bad-it's-hilarious quality from Eclipse.
I thought Twilight was pretty fun to watch for the so-bad-it's-funny value, but I found New Moon to be really boring. It was a bit disappointing after how fun the first one was to be honest. Pretty nice cinematography though.
The scene with Jakob and the motorcycle killed me.

"Bella! Are you ok? Hold on, you're bleeding a tiny little bit on your forehead"
*takes off entire shirt, dries blood away, then throws the shirt away*

It was so uncalled for and so freaking hilarious. Even the Twilight fans laughed at that scene.
Oh goddess yes I remember that scene. That was one of the few we managed to suck a few good jokes out of.
 

Julianking93

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May 16, 2009
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Pimppeter2 said:
If you were smart you'd go to the theater and pick up some grade A pussy like I do.
But what if you're someone like me who doesn't want Twilight-loving pussy? That shit ain't Grade A!

Anywho, it's just a stupid teen sensation. It'll all be over soon so stop bitching about it.
 

MisterShine

Him Diamond
Mar 9, 2010
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Hubilub said:
You laugh now, but just you wait!

OBAMA WILL TURN YOU INTO COMMUNISTS!

AND FASCISTS!

AT THE SAME TIME!
You forgot he's going to take our guns away and let the brown people stay in the country illegally. Try harder EuroTr(ash)oll!

Arcanite Ripper said:
I don't know, I don't care. We're fine in our two different worlds.
You had a really great post here that really went in-depth into the issue and frankly added a lot to this conversation but... I'm not going to talk about that.

Your avatar/name brings back some very warm and fuzzy memories for me. You rock!
 

EboMan7x

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Jul 20, 2009
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Whenever I see a trailer for Twilight in a movie theater there are about 5 girls who scream out "YEAH!" or other generic phrases of excitement. I've started loudly voicing my opinions directly after.

"YEAH!"
"WOO-HOO!"
"HE'S SO HOT!"
...
"IT LOOKS LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!"
 

Cherry Cola

Your daddy, your Rock'n'Rolla
Jun 26, 2009
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Crazzee said:
Hubilub said:
Crazzee said:
Hubilub said:
"I hate on something popular. I'm so cool!"

I'm actually looking forward to Eclipse coming out. New Moon might not have been a very good film, but dang it, it was funny as hell, and I'm expecting the same so-bad-it's-hilarious quality from Eclipse.
I thought Twilight was pretty fun to watch for the so-bad-it's-funny value, but I found New Moon to be really boring. It was a bit disappointing after how fun the first one was to be honest. Pretty nice cinematography though.
The scene with Jakob and the motorcycle killed me.

"Bella! Are you ok? Hold on, you're bleeding a tiny little bit on your forehead"
*takes off entire shirt, dries blood away, then throws the shirt away*

It was so uncalled for and so freaking hilarious. Even the Twilight fans laughed at that scene.
Oh goddess yes I remember that scene. That was one of the few we managed to suck a few good jokes out of.
Another one I liked was near the end, you know when Edward is supposed to "expose himself" to the public.

Who the hell in the crowd would turn to him and shout "Look! He's sparkling! VAMPIRE!"? I just laughed at how overly dramatic the movie was about this one scene that wasn't really suspenseful in any way
 

Vuljatar

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Sep 7, 2008
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It's sad that everyone's so desperate for "the next Harry Potter" that they latched on to such a mediocre series--that has been turned into almost unwatchably bad movies.
 

Pimppeter2

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Dec 31, 2008
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Julianking93 said:
Pimppeter2 said:
If you were smart you'd go to the theater and pick up some grade A pussy like I do.
But what if you're someone like me who doesn't want Twilight-loving pussy? That shit ain't Grade A!
Impossible, all pussy watches twilight. Even if they don't like it they're dragged to it by their friends, or to even make fun of it for shits and giggles.
 

Swarley

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Apr 5, 2010
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You acknowledge that there have been too many Twilight threads lately, but decided to make another one?

http://you-fail.me/
 

Nouw

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Mar 18, 2009
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Its being released on the same day as ToyStory 3 is coming out.

Let the madness begin. Crappy Vampire Movie? Classic Pixar Movie? The odds of that
 

Julianking93

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May 16, 2009
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Pimppeter2 said:
Julianking93 said:
Pimppeter2 said:
If you were smart you'd go to the theater and pick up some grade A pussy like I do.
But what if you're someone like me who doesn't want Twilight-loving pussy? That shit ain't Grade A!
Impossible, all pussy watches twilight. Even if they don't like it they're dragged to it by their friends, or to even make fun of it for shits and giggles.
There's a difference between the pussy that watches it and the pussy that loves it like this:



I don't want none of that.

Now, in all non-sexist seriousness, I have watched Twilight just because I find it to be hilarious. Like watching a horrid movie because it's funny, (IE; The Wickerman.) but there I don't associate with the people who actually enjoy it for what it is.
 

VivaciousDeimos

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May 1, 2010
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Thunderhorse31 said:
I'll try to put this as sensitively as I can:

Teenage girls are dumb.

Now don't report me misunderstand me, I'm not saying that in order to like Twilight you need to be mentally challenged or something, but teenagers tend to be impulsive and shallow and into bright/shiny objects, so a concept like "sexy vampire sweeps unpopular girl off her feet" gets eaten up without a second thought (literally).

I may be dating myself here, but I experienced the same phenomena back in high school when Titanic came out. I had (girl)friends in my class who saw it in the theater 12, 14, and even 20 times (by their own admission), for no other reason than they found Leonardo DiCaprio to be hot. That's it. I asked them what they thought about the plot or the special effects, and their response was usually "Who cares? Leo is amazing."

So there it is. James Cameron's most successful movie (pre-2009) wasn't because of his script or his vision or his budget, it was because of that wonderful chemical process known as puberty that makes teenage girls insane.

Twilight benefits from the very same process.
As usual, science explains all
While this is true, in that Twilight fulfills a teenage fantasy--multiple fantasies, actually,--of having guys fight over you, and being adored by someone rich and educated and superhuman, it doesn't take into account the huge number of fans who are middle aged women--Twimoms, as they like to be called. And I actually find them creepier than the fangirls, because at least with the teenagers it can be blamed on immaturity.

I asked them what they thought about the plot or the special effects, and their response was usually "Who cares? Leo is amazing."

This is very very true. I was driving my cousin home last year, she was around fifteen, and we were discussing Twilight, and I said, "You know Edward's a stalker right?" to which she replies, "a hot stalker." And I nearly had to pull the car over as I tried to form coherent sentences.

Internet Kraken said:
You know, I've heard far more people berating Twilight than praising it. Makes you wonder if this series becoming widely known was only due to people praising. Maybe all this hate for Twilight has actually resulted in the series getting more attention than it would have normally acquired?

But no! That would be impossible! All this blind hate surely only leads to productive things!
Twilight is fascinating to me because it's everywhere in the media and gets attention from all different types of people: hard core fans both young and old, hardcore haters, both young and old, and those who are in the middle--people in it for the lulz, or who like the material but recognize it for what it is.

I think one of the reasons it gets so much negative hype is because there's a huge disconnect between the quality of the material, especially the books, and how much praise and devotion it receives, and people struggle to understand why.
 

Pimppeter2

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Dec 31, 2008
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Julianking93 said:
Pimppeter2 said:
Julianking93 said:
Pimppeter2 said:
If you were smart you'd go to the theater and pick up some grade A pussy like I do.
But what if you're someone like me who doesn't want Twilight-loving pussy? That shit ain't Grade A!
Impossible, all pussy watches twilight. Even if they don't like it they're dragged to it by their friends, or to even make fun of it for shits and giggles.
There's a difference between the pussy that watches it and the pussy that loves it like this:



I don't want none of that.

Now, in all non-sexist seriousness, I have watched Twilight just because I find it to be hilarious. Like watching a horrid movie because it's funny, (IE; The Wickerman.) but there I don't associate with the people who actually enjoy it for what it is.
Correct answers

 

Luftwaffles

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Apr 24, 2010
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Somehow found myself watching new moon and all throughout the whole damn movie this is my only thought, "that bella girl is a bloody whore".
 

Samurai Goomba

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Oct 7, 2008
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Ugh, at this point the sexism and subversion of vampire sexuality gets me the worst. I mean, yeah, vampirism has always been a metaphor for sex... But usually it was in the subtext, a little more subtle. And besides, vampires represented sexually liberated individuals. Now we get repressed little Mormon weirdos who don't want the girl they love to live forever, despite that apparently at least one of the major vampire weaknesses no longer applies. I mean, one of the most painful things for Duncan MacCloud in the Highlander TV series was that the women he loved and married could NEVER become immortal. It just couldn't happen.

I could go on and on, but yeah, I mostly ignore Twilight because it doesn't affect me. It's a stupid film, but I have much more hatred for the Star Wars prequel movies and the Michael Bay Transformers crap.