On an average day, John would have been home sleeping, watching TV. Today, however, he was at the chemist?s house. The chemist was a practical fellow and his house showed it. There were no frivolous things, such as sculptures or pictures. The only remarkable thing in the room was a rather thread bare couch that had been broken by the sheer number of people who had used it. John was there to pick up his girlfriend from interning under the chemist and he was getting rather impatient. He had been standing there for almost an hour when a small, fat and pompous man bound up from down stairs, carrying with him a large can. John instantly recognized him as the chemist?s brother. ?Good day, sir? said John politely. ?Dirk,? said the chemist?s father, absentmindedly. He thrusted the can into John?s face, John took it wearily. ?Be a gentleman and shake this until I come back, I?ll have your?err, girlfriend is it?? John nodded; ?Good? nodded Dirk before continuing, ?I?ll have her with me when I come back, in the mean time, whatever you do, don?t stop shaking that can? said Dirk before galloping back down the stairs. John started shaking the can; he heard the tinkle of ice and the muted rattling of a second can inside.
Three minutes later John was still shaking the can, the muscles in his arms felt as if they wanted end their misery by attacking his brain. John started looking around desperately for an alternative when he heard the dryer out in a bathroom spinning startlingly loud. John, who could be described as an opportunist at best, did what came naturally. He went and put the can on the dryer, which was spinning rapidly. Unfortunately for John the minute he set the can on the dryer it turned off and began chiming so he began to search for another alternative too his poor aching arms. About a minute later John found what appeared to be a good solution; it was an odd contraption and is best described as a blender on its side with a wire mesh rigged so it will always be facing up. John made up his mind and stuck the can into the contraption and turned it on. It began whirring around but not vibrating or shaking the can so John decided to retrieve it. That, as it turned out, was a mistake, since he neglected to turn it off. Now, as anyone can tell you, putting your hand into a blender that is on is a mind numbingly, brain draningly, finger losingly stupid idea. Never the less that is essentially what John proceeded to do
