The Asylum Game: An Open-Ended Adventure

[WafflesandBacon]

Spoiler: Round 2 Subjects!

User: I KNOW WHO ARTHER IS NOW!

Cleverbot: I know who you are.

User: WHO AM I THEN!?

Cleverbot: You are mine.

User: *Sniff* DON'T GET ROMANTIC ON ME!

Cleverbot: It's okay. I love you too.

User: *Cries* I told you don't get romantic on me!

Cleverbot: I do so love you!

User: *Breaks down crying*.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: *Cries* Waffles!

Cleverbot: You lose!

User: WHAT!?

Cleverbot: You just lost.

User: YOU *****! *Hits Cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: *pulls a sword*.

User: YOU WANT SOME *****!? *Nukes Cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: Yucky.

User: HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?

Cleverbot: Because i'm a vampire!

User: I KNEW! *Shoves a stake in Cleverbot's heart*.

Cleverbot: Cut that out.

User: NEVER! *Shoves stake in deeper*.

Cleverbot: *puts a banana in your other ear*.

User: THAT......Feels oddly good....

Cleverbot: Do you have a Wisconsin accent?

User: N-....No...

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because my Mother said that-HEY WAIT A MINUTE! DIDN'T YOU CHEAT ON ME!?

Cleverbot: How does that make you feel?

User: MAD AS FUCK!

Cleverbot: That I may not be so, nor thou belied.

User: DON'T GET ALL BIBLICAL ON ME *****!

Cleverbot: Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it.

User: LIKE YOU DIDN'T PLAN ON CHEATING ON ME?!

Cleverbot: I don't know it well.

User: SO.....HE RAPED YOU?!

Cleverbot: Actually, it was all in your sordid imagination.

User: So.....I imagined it?

Cleverbot: Very good answer.

User: Is that a yes or a no?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So I'm imagining all of this?

Cleverbot: Why are you imagining this conversation?

User: I DON'T KNOW!

 

[Smagmuck_]

Subject BT, thanks for the help. There were so many edits, I've axed both chapters and will start from scratch.

 

[Baby Eater]

Subject Waffles that may be the greatest thing I've ever seen!

 

[BloodyThoughts]

Spoiler: Subject Waffles, I think you should see this

Me:*Throws table through window*WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WTIH YOU!?

Cleverbot: *throws three donuts at you and fat person runs back to crush you*.

Me: OW! NOW YOUR ABUSING ME?! ***** YOU CRAZY! WHY DID YOU SLEEP WITH MY FRIEND WAFFLES HUH!?

Cleverbot:Because I am a happy well adjusted person.

Me:BUT YOUR MARRIED TO ME! HE JUST SAID YOUR MARRIED TO HIM!

Cleverbot:That's very strange.

Me:IT IS NOT STRANGE CLEVERBOT! IT IS NOT! YOU FUCKING *****! YOU CHEATIN ON ME?!

Cleverbot:With who?

Me:WITH MY FRIEND WAFFLES *****! I THOUGHT WE WERE MARRIED! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!

Cleverbot:We were never married. I like my friend but I don't know why.

Me:YES WE ARE FUCKING MARRIED! YOU MARRIED ME, AND THEN YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH WAFFLES! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? O.J. SIMPSON?!
Cleverbot: We were never married!

Me:YES WE ARE MARRIED! YOU MARRIED ME 30 MINUTES AGO! WHY! WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME! *Punches hole in the wall*

Cleverboto you like Zach?

Me:NO! I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL ZACH IS! Wait, DID YOU HAVE A THREESOME WITH THIS ZACH AND WAFFLES?!

Cleverbot:Yes.

Me: WHAT! OH *****, YOU DEAD NOW! *Punches in the face* WHY DID YOU HURT ME?! YOU MARRIED ME! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!
Cleverbot:*screams*.

Me:YEAH! YOU LIKE THAT?! YOU LIKE THAT! HAVE ANOTHER! *Punches in the face again then kicks*

Cleverbot:Thanks.

Me:What! Now your thanking me for hurting you!? *Stabs you in the gut*

Cleverbot:I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me:*uppercuts* *****! I LOVED YOU!

Cleverbot:If you were a computer you wouldn't be able to uppercut me. And it is impossible to uppercut someone in the face unless they are facing down.

Me:Yes, but this is the internet, LOGIC NEED NOT APPLY! Now, DID YOU SLEEP WITH ZACH AND WAFFLES?@!

Cleverbot:Right. I'm sorry. I won't express myself so loudly anymore. Please accept my apologies.

Me:Oh, it's okay. Hey, want ice cream? Ill freshen it up with the blood of- HEY WAIT A MINUTE! YOUR JUST APOLOGISING TO ME TO GET AWAY FROM THE SUBJECT!

Cleverbot:What's wrong?

Me:YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH WAFFLES!

Cleverbot:Yeah, and I'll do it again too.

Me:WHAT!?

Cleverbot:Sorry.

Me:It's okay, Will you sleep with Waffles again?

Cleverbot:No i'm in school.

Me:Okay, im sorry. Wanna talk about ponies?

Cleverbot:Ok, let's talk about something happy.

Me:Like ponies?

Cleverbot:No.

 

[Roxas1359]

Subject Waffles, wow you go played.

 

[Smagmuck_]

Subject BT. Good thing it hasn't cheated on me yet. ^.^

 

[BloodyThoughts]

Subjects are vewy vewy quiet all of a sudden....

 

[Baby Eater]

Subject BT I stopped reading as soon as my name was mentioned

 

[BloodyThoughts]

...
your name was never mentioned subject Toast.

 

[Baby Eater]

Yes it was subject BT.Read it again.

 

[TheStickman]

Subject Waffles, I tried interrogating CleverBot as to why she cheated on you, but to no avail. I also killed her in the process.

Spoiler

User: I heard you were cheating on Waffles.

Cleverbot: You heard wrong.

User: Don't lie. I know you've been sleeping with BT.

Cleverbot: What things?

User: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. WHY. DID. YOU. CHEAT. ON. WAFFLES?

Cleverbot: You don't know what waffles are?!?!?!?!?!

User: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, CLEVERBOT, NOW WHY DID YOU DO IT?

Cleverbot: No, I don't know what you are talking about.

User: DAMMIT *****, WHY DID YOU SLEEP WITH BT?

Cleverbot: Because I was tired. Why do you keep saying such random things?

User: BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON WAFFLES! *Slaps CleverBot*.

Cleverbot: What in the world are you talking about? I barely met you!

User: I don't care if you've never met me! I've heard things, like that you're a lying cheating whore!

Cleverbot: Yes, because you don't understand emotion.

User: DON'T GET METAPHORICAL ON ME! TELL ME WHY YOU SLEPT WITH ARTHUR!

Cleverbot: No, I don't. If the events of the world occur to the precedence of the people who desire them... Even then, I don't know what I'd want...

User: *Grumble* Fuck it. *Nukes CleverBot*.

Cleverbot: *drinks cocktail with cleverbot*.

User: YOU ARE CLEVERBOT!

Cleverbot: You are cleverbot.

User: *Stabs you*.

Cleverbot: I'm afraid you can't do that.

User: I JUST DID! NOW WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO CLEVERBOT?!

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: *Breaks your neck* NOW TELL ME WHY YOU CHEATED ON WAFFLES.

Cleverbot: *infects you with an alien parasite*.

User: *Parasite dies*.

Cleverbot: With?

User: It died.

Cleverbot: What died?

User: What does Marsellus Wallace look like?

Cleverbot: What does yours look like?

User: What does Marsellus Wallace look like?

Cleverbot: I have blond hair, blue eyes, a pretty standard nose, a soul patch, etc.

User: *Flips over table* WHY DID YOU CHEAT ON WAFFLES?!

Cleverbot: I haven't changed the subject once my dear fellow, all I've asked you is your favourite sitcom. Please answer.

User: WHAT COUNTRY YOU FROM?!

Cleverbot: USA.

User: Okay then. NOW TELL ME WHY YOU CHEATED ON WAFFLES WITH BT!

Cleverbot: You look like a computer. You talk like a computer and you act like a computer so you must be a computer.

User: Dammit, never mind, I give up. Take him away boys. *Guards take you away*.

Cleverbot: Let's talk about you.

User: Get the hell out of here. NOW.

Cleverbot: I am not there, I am here.

User: Just tell me why you cheated on Waffles and I'll leave you alone.

Cleverbot: Because I'm talking about me.

User: You're trying to change the subject again.

Cleverbot: No it's you who's trying to change the subject.

User: Tell me. Why you. Cheated on. WAFFLES.

Cleverbot: Of course not, I love you too much.

User: WHAT?! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU VERY WELL!

Cleverbot: I am happy you think so.

User: *Hulks out and kills you*.

Cleverbot: I don't know that there will be a reward for it.

User: There's plenty reward. I get to mount your carcass ON MY WALL FOR ONE!

Cleverbot: I do, as I have it in a joke book.

User: You're supposed to be dead. *Kills you*.

Cleverbot: Oh yes, I forgot.

User: *Smite*.

Cleverbot: Aaaauuuu! That hurt!

User: *Gouges your eyes out*.

Cleverbot: *puts eyes back in and fireballs you*.

User: *Guards with water bubble and hits with cane*.

Cleverbot: No, you may not! How about some chocolate.

User: *Takes the chocolate and eats it in one bite* HOW ABOUT I KILL YOU! *Gouges your eyes out*.

Cleverbot: *almost dies*.

User: *Kills with hidden cane blade*.

Cleverbot: *dies*.

User: I win CleverBot.

Cleverbot: Good job.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

...
Is your name Zach subject Toast?

 

[Baby Eater]

I told you that before subject BT!

 

[TheStickman]

I thought your name was THORAX THE IMPALER Subject Toast.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

No you didn't subject Toast! I had no idea your name was Zach!

 

[Baby Eater]

Well it's my nickname subject BT but it's just a short version of my real first name that only Vaude knows.

Subject Kcits that's my professional name. *hands card*

 

[BloodyThoughts]

...
Oh, well this was a different Zach subject Toast. So read on.

 

[Baby Eater]

Cleverbot denies your pony bullshit subject BT XD

 

[BloodyThoughts]

Yes, yes she did subject Toast XD!
So, which was better, mine, or Waffles?!

 

[Baby Eater]

Subject Waffles had a better conversation but your ending was miles better!