Subjects...
*Walks up to a Microphone*
*Clears throat*
*The instrumental version of "It's the End of the World As We Know It" Plays*
*Awesome voice*
Oh great, the Flu will soon mu-tate. Climate change and Y2K.
Remain calm. Don't be afraid.
Too many human being out of water on Earth.
National ID's are the mark of the Beast.
Saw a link to a thing.
What, no God?
The Rapture is now here and we're right this time.
Sun loses fire.
Earth just bursting into flames.
Evil scientists for hire, hiding in plane sight.
AIs getting smart in a hurry.
You should worry.
It'll En-slave us.
Blog by blog the bloggers baffled crapped their pants.
Look at that low plane.
We're. Done.
Big hole.
Ozone.
Huge depletion.
UVB.
It's too late to save ourselves,
save the Earth.
Celphones.
Destroyed bees, now the plants cannot breathe.
Atleast you can't get Anthrax from someone coughing, Right?
...Right
Wikipedia says that it's powder and quite white. (Right?)
Pretty. Sure that's right.
Could be the end of the world as we know it.
Might be the end of the world as we know it.
Could be the end of the world as we know it.
On Channel niiiiiiiiiine.
SUVs.
Peak oil.
Diseases caught on foreign soil.
Bird flu.
Swine flu.
Collided into Nibiru.
Gay people marrying.
Teaching.
Adopting made all of our kids turn gay, bringingupon Judgement Day.
Terrorists are terrorizing.
Calm down! Calm down!
All the launched nukes nuked.
Uh-Oh, the end is here.
Have no fear.
Let's have a last beer!
The prophecies! The prophecies! The prophecies are right!
Nine point Seven Earthquake.
Large Hadron Collider.
The End's in sight!
Could be the end of the world as we know it.
Might be the end of the world as we know it.
Could be the end of the world as we know it.
On Channel niiiiiiiiiine.
The Polar Caps began to melt,
destroying all the ocean shelves.
It's frezing over in Hell.
TWO THOUSAND TWELVE!
A crazy hobo, ranting Bible Code and Heaven's Gate.
Antichrist.
Smallpox.
Dirty bombs.
SARS!
Wait a second,
Experts say "Nevermind".
Right?
...Right.
Could be the end of the world as we know it.
Might be the end of the world as we know it.
Could be the end of the world as we know it.
Tonight at niiiiiiiiiine.