The bad boy approach: does it really work to start a relationship?

[Sir_Auron_the_Badass]

Being someone who has been rejected by every girl I tried to ask out, I naturally went to my friends for advise on how to get better at flirting and starting relationships. Many of my friends commented that though I'm a really nice, thoughtful guy, girls typically want to date guys that are more assertive and a bit aggressive, so I should try the bad boy approach. The thing is, the information I find about this approach makes it seem like it goes against my very nature; I'm definitely not a pansy, but I have never really felt that cocky or assertive, and I have never felt comfortable insulting others (even if it's just a light one for a tease), so I of course feel skeptical that this will work for me.

So the question is, does this approach really work, or is it just a cliche that bad boys get all the girls? And if it does work, what are some of the best ways someone like me could start off with this method in order to feel more comfortable using it more naturally?

Any helpful comments and suggestions are appreciated by everyone, especially any women willing to give their opinion on the matter.

 

[Bobic]

Personally I think it's just a tired old cliche.

Then again Alexandra Burke would disagree with me


So it depends who you find more trustworthy really, me or her

Edit: Embedding disabled by request? What the hell is this tomfoolery? Ah well, you all know how to follow a link.

 

[lynnfire]

http://www.fastseduction.com/asf-faq.shtml

Read the "commonly asked questions" section.

 

[PunkyMcGee]

The bad boy approach usually only works for the physically attractive. The only thing I'd bring from the bad boy table is confidence.

EDIT: I didn't mean to make this sound mean.

 

[Mister Benoit]

Meh, seriously just be comfortable with yourself. You'll eventually crack because that's not who you are and if that's why the person you're with likes you then it'll never work out.

Try to find someone with common interests, goals and aspirations. The wait might suck but at least you won't be uncomfortable and living a lie.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Yes it works, but with the wrong kind of women.

Intelligent, sensitive girls who don't fancy assholes are out there too and as hard as they are to find, they are worth the wait.

 

[deleted_by_strongbad]

Most girls claim to want a bad boy, they may even have a passing interest or curiosity in it, but it'll pass. For those who actually want a bad boy, are probably carrying some psychotic emotional baggage and unless you truly are a A+ Jackass who couldn't care about it, you don't want to get involved in her life. So no, don't go the bad boy route to "begin a relationship."

Though, for the girls who have a passing interest in the bad boy mystique, beginning a one night stand or something on that basis is plausible. Reality doesn't matter in a short fling because both people are aware that the sum of the dynamic is that of the mutual fantasy and not substance.

 

[plugav]

I'm no expert, but I'd say it's more about being active and confident than aggressive.

 

[newwiseman]

It does work, but that's because of the confidence inherent in the asshole factor. The biggest problem with the approach is it only sets you up to get laid not have a satisfying relationship.

 

[rokkolpo]

Be a dick, get pussy.

OT: Yeah it just works.

 

[WolffgangVW]

Hell yeah it works, if you know exactly what it is, and how to use it.

I'm not going to explain here, because I'd largely be plagiarizing other peoples' work, and it'd take forever, but basically it gets you in the door. It gets you noticed. It gets people interested. It's great for that. When I did it, i pissed off a lot more people than I attracted, but those people were boring anyway. I'm a naturally abrasive person, it worked for me.

The 'but' is, that you have to be an interesting person underneath that, or, like everyone else is saying, it'll maybe get you laid, and that's it.

Tailor to target audience, use sparingly.

 

[Optional Opinion]

Yes it works but you'll end up in relationships that you'll probably hate.

If you just want sex then no harm in trying it.

My advice to you would be feign confidence, that is if you haven't got it.

Bad boys tend to ooze confidence and I believe that is the appeal.

 

[manythings]

The Bad Boy approach isn't what works, it's the fact that the bad boy takes control. Women respond to masculin domination (especially the ones who say they don't, seriously). Confidence is key my man, don't be that other guy he is a total douche (Jersey Shore strength douche). Own you, don't apologise and be prepared to get rejected, girls will do that. Eventually you'll get lucky.

 

[pixiejedi]

confidence is good, ass holery is not. I roll my eyes at the girls who like bad boys. They are the drama queens who just want to get kicked around by some douche. But I agree it would probably get you laid if you do it to the right girl, for shame ladies. SHUUUUUUUUNNNNN.

 

[headshotcatcher]

http://www.fastseduction.com/asf-faq.shtml

Read the "commonly asked questions" section.

That site is depressing..

It states that people who don't use badboy stuff won't get laid, it's so pathetic xD

(ps: this is a general comment, not meant as an insult to you )

 

[Rachel317]

Speaking as a girl (on Tuesdays I speak as a boy), I cannot wrap my head around the 'women who are into bad boys' thing. I just don't understand it. Why would you want to be with someone will treat you badly? I think some women think, "Ooh, I'll be the one to change him!" but this always fails.

Those guys are arseholes, those girls need to grow up, mature fast, and get a stable grip on reality. Nice guys are extremely under-rated, but I would never date a 'bad boy', no matter how attractive he was, and regardless of how much we had in common.

Really, OP, you need to be true to yourself, because everyone (not just girls) will be able to see exactly what game you're playing (I don't mean that to sound harsh). IF you pretend to be something you're not, any girl you're interested in will wonder why you don't respect her enough to be yourself, and why in the world would you think that she wouldn't like you for who you really are.

Be yourself, and when a nice girl comes along, she'll appreciate you. Seriously, you seem like a really nice guy, why would you want to hide that? You don't have to be cocky or assertive to get a girl and start a relationship, you just have to find one you're compatible with.

Even if you get desperate, unless you want to change FOR YOU (and not for some ulterior motive), don't change. Compromising who you are will not win you any respect.

 

[Jake the Snake]

Be confident. Girls respond to confidence, that's all you need.

 

[RollForInitiative]

girls typically want to date guys that are more assertive and a bit aggressive, so I should try the bad boy approach.

It's not "assertive and aggressive" that matters; it's confidence, plain and simple. Have some strength of personality, confidence, and, for the love of God, have a damn spine. The only women that like guys they can walk all over aren't worth having around.