The Best Chuck Norris Joke you know?

[Ickorus]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

OT: This picture:

Spoiler: Bah, beaten to it.

 

[xavierxenon]

None, they are all absolutely shit.

I wondered when it would be that someone would feel the need to be so... Escapist-y and say something like this.

Seems it happens here all too often.

You try sitting through multiple classes of people spouting the same old chuck norris shit and see how hillarious they are then.

 

[Miumaru]

Bruce Lee is better than Chuck Norris. Its funny...cause its true!

(admittedly I do find the actual jokes funny...but Bruce Lee is actually better)

 

[JLML]

Chuck Norris and Mr.T once walked into a bar, the bar exploded. There was too much awesomeness to be contained in one building.

Chuck Norris does indeed live in a round house.

Chuck Norris' balls don't produce sperm, they produce white little ninjas with only one mission, search and destroy!

Chuck Norris once came up with the idea of bottling his pee and sell it. We now know this drink as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris can roundhouse you yesterday.

Not even light can escape a black hole, but not even a black hole can escape Chuck Norris.

If you take awesomeness times awesomeness you get Chuck Norris.

Someone once told Chuck Norris that roundhouse-kicking isn't the most effective way of killing someone. That person died from mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries short thereafter.

Those are some of them

 

[Uncreation]

Chuck Norris' first job was a paper boy. There were no survivors.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesnt get wet, the water gets Norrissed

These two are some of my favourites. (Also, Charles Bronson, i love you, but i thought you were dead. Can i have you autograph, anyway? )

Oh, and:

Chuck Norris has his own country: "Spain 2: the Revenge".

 

[NeutralMunchHotel]

None, they are all absolutely shit.

I wondered when it would be that someone would feel the need to be so... Escapist-y and say something like this.

Seems it happens here all too often.

You try sitting through multiple classes of people spouting the same old chuck norris shit and see how hillarious they are then.

And yet somehow, everyone else has managed to make this thread entertaining and post the funny jokes without complaining...

 

[thenumberthirteen]

In Chuck Norris' office every exit is an Emergency Exit.

 

[Mr.logic]

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin, That he built with his on 2 hands.

 

[Endocrom]

When Chuck Norris tells time, time obeys.

Steve Irwin once wrestled a giant squid in the middle of the pacific, we now call the body of that squid, Japan.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Bear Grylls can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

Les Stroud wanted to show everyone how to survive a dinosaur attack, but that damn meteor destroyed his camera equipment.

 

[PurpleSky]

Chuck Norris will never have a heart atack.His heart isn't that dumb to try one.

Oooor


We live in an expanding Universe.All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

 

[kuposenpai]

Bullets doge Chuck Norris

 

[gyroscopeboy]

This is one i actually made up:

Chuck norris is such a good drummer they got him to record the metronome!