the best comeback you have ever done

[The Dr0w Ranger]

One time a friend of mine(who happens to be biracial) were joking around and he called me honky, so I pointed out to him that he fits the bill as both white and black, thereby making him whatever he called me and THEN whatever I called him.
He couldn't even figure out what I was saying.

Someone asked me if I was gay, I actually played to it, and freaked him out until he left my game.

 

[bjj hero]

Me and my mate were hanging out and there was this annoying girl there. She was telling my mate how he wanted her, he just wouldnt admmit it (real cocky *****).

He said "I wouldnt sleep with you if we were the last two people on earth, you know why?"

"Why"

"Because I couldnt trust you to be faithful"

pwnd

 

[Shaenightbird]

"If your IQ were one point higher, you'd be a plant."
I said that to some guy who was annoying me in a bar with his drunken and offensive attempts at witty repartee.

 

[bjj hero]

I used to work in a young offenders institute. When I was there one of the inmates had it in for me and had been trying it on for weeks thinking he was clever.

He had an audience this afternoon so he was trying it on. He said to me "youre gay you are boss, we all know it"

I said to him. "Im going to finish work tonight, go home and then go out to a night club full of half naked gyrating women. You are going to be sharing a room in a prison holding over 300 men and you will probably have a wank tonight. If you were a betting man; who would you put money on to be gay?"

All the other lads laughed, he lost face and started to kick off, at which point the officers came to take him out.

Another time I told him not to phone his mum over the weekend as I might pick up the phone. We got on fine once he figured out I wont put up with his shit.

 

[CriticallyAcclaimed]

(Xbox Live convo)
my friend: maybe you should stop being such a ***** and get some of the gamerscore that i have [his gamerscore is 12k, or something]
me: maybe you should stop getting all the gamerscore and get some of the friends that I have

PS, just bitter cause my gamerscore sucks

 

[EchetusXe]

I dunno, the other week someone lay into me for making a childish "euphemism". So within 30 seconds I had managed to prove:

a. They didn't know what a euphemism was.
b. I hadn't use a euphemism.
c. They probably shouldn't get their hopes up for a good grade in their English literature course.

 

[Strong Intelligent]

"He saw a dick!"

"Yeah, I only saw it, atleast it wasn't in my ass"

I feel really bad for it, now.

 

[Beffudled Sheep]

This happened two nights ago at 3 am.

random idiot: *bumps into me* Hey watch where you goin ya brainless *****.

Me: Go away... Now. Fucking idiot.

random idiot: Well at least I have a brain.

me: *pulls out pistol* Not for much longer... *smirks and lets out light chuckle*


A bad but effective comeback.

 

[speedcoreXdandy]

I can't remember what the other person said but my reply was "yeah mate, well if you've got a fucking problem with that then I suggest you see my manager. and by see I mean suck. and by manager I mean dick".

 

[Makon]

I can't remember what the other person said but my reply was "yeah mate, well if you've got a fucking problem with that then I suggest you see my manager. and by see I mean suck. and by manager I mean dick".

I would absolutely kill to be able to say that even just once to some random idiot at work...

[ <--- GameStop Sales Dude.]

 

[The-Big-D]

Some women critisised me for being able to multi task at work and being a man. So i pointed out that she had car keys in her hand and women cant drive

The look on her face was priceless.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

a friend: do you know what my problem is?
me: your dumb and ugly?

an ex-colleague: what was that hand sign you just did?
me: pick one

Your=You're

GET IT RIGHT!

You're=You are
Your denotes it belonging to someone, or you.

 

[1ronJ4m]

Thanks

a friend: do you know what my problem is?
me: your dumb and ugly?

an ex-colleague: what was that hand sign you just did?
me: pick one

Your=You're

GET IT RIGHT!

You're=You ar
Your denotes it belonging to someone, or you.

I bet u did this so you can get a comeback rite here rite nao. U ain't!

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Oh YEA!!?!??!
(Can't actually remember any)

 

[Seydaman]

your mom-thats it

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

(Xbox Live convo)
my friend: maybe you should stop being such a ***** and get some of the gamerscore that i have [his gamerscore is 12k, or something]
me: maybe you should stop getting all the gamerscore and get some of the friends that I have

PS, just bitter cause my gamerscore sucks

Where is he? I'll show him my 51000+ and make him feel bad!

No one should ever flaunt their gamerscore as a method of proving they are superior. It just sounds stupid...and proves nothing.

 

[Flour]

Some small(20 active people) high-rate RO server, I had just found a cool looking helmet and was sitting in town with it.

Someone asked me what the stat bonus on it was, and I replied +5.(other, easier to get helmets had +15)
Being an RO server where having higher stats than your opponent in PvP is the only deciding factor in who will win, the people near me all laughed.

My answer: "It's not about the stats, it's how you use them"

 

[PureChaos]

a friend: do you know what my problem is?
me: your dumb and ugly?

an ex-colleague: what was that hand sign you just did?
me: pick one

Your=You're

GET IT RIGHT!

You're=You are
Your denotes it belonging to someone, or you.

thanks for pointing that out. i am usually one to point out the same thing, people who don't use punctuation, especially when entire posts consist of no punctuation (i won't do the 'zero accentuation' joke, it's been done enough) i call them up on it. i should practice what i preach!

 

[squeekenator]

"Are you gay?"
"Only for you, honey."

He left pretty quickly. Doing things like that is great fun.

(PS: I'm not.)