The Best One-Liners

[Tom_green_day]

So I'm about to hit 1k posts (in only seven months, sorry folks) and thought I'd make a fun discussion to celebrate.
So- what are your favourite one-liners? In films, games, TV, books, etc. They don't have to be typical death one-liners, they can be for anything.
I'll share one from Paul;
'I'm on a mission from God!'
'Tell him you failed!' BANG.
So share your favourites!

 

[Ldude893]

"I AM A MAN!"

*punches someone's stomach*

Also, anything that comes out of James Bond's or Arnold Schwarzenneger's mouth.

 

[SuperFrankieLampard]

'I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit, I did not hit her! I did NAAHHT!... Oh, hi Mark"

 

[Glongpre]

Whatever you are pulling out better be a sandwich because I'm gonna make you eat it.

 

[Lilani]

I watched the Avengers last night, so I'm just full of them now. Some of them aren't necessarily one liners...but shut up, they're awesome.

Fury: (after the airship's engine is damaged) "Is the sun coming up?"

Deckhand: "...Yes."

Fury: "Then put it on the left. Get us over water."

------

Hulk: "...Puny God."

-----

Colson: "You lack conviction."

Loki: "I don't think--"

Colson: *shoots* "Oh, that's what it does."

-----

Loki: "We have an army."[footnote]I think that's how it goes, I'm too lazy to look it up at the moment."[/footnote]

Stark: "We have a hulk."

-----

Banner: "That's my secret, Cap. I'm always angry."

-----

Stark: "Better clench up, Legolas."

-----

Stark: "I'm bringing the party to you."

Romanov: "...I don't see how that's a party."

-----

Cap: "There's only one God ma'am, and he doesn't dress like that."

 

[Esotera]

Probably this clip, although it's only one word...I guess that it still counts as a one-liner:

 

[Smeatza]

Mitch Hedburg, the stand up comedian, had some excellent ones.
Some of my favourites being
"I haven't slept for two days because that would be too long."
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking filler."
"Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something."

He had hundreds.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Sort of one from the brillant Kenji from Katawa Shoujo:


Hisao: "What, you didn't notice them set up the festival right outside your window?"

Kenji: Of course not, I keep my curtains closed at all times to thwart the snipers.

Just the off-handed, matter of fact way he says such an absurd thing is brilliant.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Anyone of Arnie one liners (well except for Mr Freeze)!


Well ok my personal favourite was the one in Predator "Stick around"!

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

"We're on a mission from God"

"No ma'am, we're musicians"

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses." "Hit it."

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

There's plenty of great ones in Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon.

Explosive Kill: "He told me to blow 'im. So I did."

Bow Kill: "I think he got the...point."

Well here, take a look.

 

[AidoZonkey]

"You're a funny guy Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last."
"Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last? I lied"
Commando
The first line is particularly good to say to people who you just met, its a real good ice breaker

 

[Arqus_Zed]

- "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

- "I never forget a face, but in your case I?d be glad to make an exception."

- "I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'"

- "Shit... You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."

Speaking good ol' Quentin, this one might not be a one-liner, but I'm still gonna leave it here because it's a classic:

Jimmie: No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead ****** Storage"?

Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...

Jimmie: Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead ****** Storage"?

Jules: No. I didn't.

Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?

Jules: Why?

Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!

 

[Oly J]

"Entertainment weekly, like a homosexual with amnesia, we come out every week" - Drawn Together

"like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes" - The Naked Gun

"oh like you'd recognize a vegetable that wasn't wrapped in a monte cristo sandwitch!" - Archer

there are loads more but I'm lazy

 

[Keymik]

Never really seen the movie but this insult always makes me laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa_db5l0q4Q

 

[Teoes]

This thread needs more Blackadder.

"Right, good morning team. My name is Edmund Blackadder and I'm the new minister in charge of religious genocide. Now, if you play straight with me you'll find me a considerate employer, but cross me and you'll find that under this playful boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac." (Hardly a one-liner, but great nonetheless.)

"Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics!" (There's a one-liner..)

Bang.

And because I would get another meaningless forum warning for a short post, I will add this sentence also.

As far as I know, that doesn't work for escaping low content warnings.

 

[SquidVicious]

This is one of my favorite exchanges from The Wire

Det. Ray Cole: I got laid last night

Det. Bunk Moreland: Yeah? Your ass still hurt?

 

[Aedes]

I can think of 2...

[a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhRUe-gz690"]"Tis but a scratch!"[/a]

and

"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!"

Yeah, those are cool.