The Big Addiction Thread: Get on the wagon!

[Redflash]

My dear fellow escapists,

As I lay awake in bed chewing my pillows and gnashing my teeth as the ravages of nicotine deprivation took hold, it occurred to me that there was no reason for me to suffer in silence. So I decided to make this post with a rather simple goal in mind: create a little place for us to discuss our addictions and, more importantly, what we're going to do about them.

I figure a good format for this would be to name your addiction, how long it's been affecting you and the specific reasons why you (I'm assuming) want to kick it. Maybe you've been thinking about doing so for a while, maybe you've been 'on the wagon' for a while already, or maybe you need a push to attempt quitting. It would be great if you stated some sort of goal you set for yourself with regard to cutting down/quitting, and also what techniques or mindsets you find helpful to sustaining the process. Hell, try making a commitment on this forum and check back in to let us know how you're getting on!

So, here's me...

Addiction 1: Smoking

As you might have already guessed from my intro, this is one of my main vices. I started when I was 15 and have been doing it for most of my life (I'm now 22). I want to quit because, as we all know by now, it is a deadly habit. What that means for me personally is that vigorous exercise (and in my worse periods, just walking into uni/work) can be exhausting, to say nothing about the endless coughs, colds, ear infections and numbness in my arms when I go to bed. Also, I have my mind on the future and I have no interest in it being spoiled by cancer and such.

My goal is to take things one day at a time and do my best to never smoke again, leaving out the inevitable drunk cigarettes and the occasional joint (I live in the UK so when I roll there's always baccy mixed in with the bud). I'm currently 3 days clean.

Addiction 2: Porn

This goes back to my very early years, say 12 or 13. Porn has always been a huge part of my life, a part I've never really been in control of. Without going into too much grimy detail, I've become so desensitised that I've found myself plumbing the darkest depths of the internet just to get turned on - the only line I've been able to prevent myself crossing is that of child-porn, because yuck. It's affected my ability to connect fully in romantic relationships, caused me to take endless risks just to get another fix and has kept me up night upon night.

My goal is to never use the bloody stuff again. I want to move towards pursuing more meaningful relationships with others, and to give myself the time I need to cleanse my brain and reboot my 'natural' sex drive. I'm currently 2 days clean.

(N.B. I am aware that porn may seem like a bit of weird thing to consider an addiction. Many, maybe even most, people can have a normal, healthy interaction with porn rather than an obsessive, spiralling one like mine. I guess it all comes down to your temperament and how much of an 'addictive personality' you have. If you suspect you lean towards my side of the porn fence, then check out http://yourbrainonporn.com for a truly revelatory insight into what's going on.)

Addiction 3: Self-Destruction (specifically food/exercise)

I've always been on the husky side, and am currently about 25-30 pounds overweight (haven't dared check the scales in a while). This is of course an obvious health factor, but is also linked to my self-worth and willingness to throw myself into day to day life. I've just had my university finals which has encouraged a noticeable binge of frozen pizzas, chinese/fish and chip takeaways and McDonald's drive-thru's, all in the name of saving time and fighting anxiety. I could count the number of healthy meals I've eaten in the last two months on as many hands. In this time I've rarely left the house or even my room, doing little to no exercise.

My goal is to eliminate carbs from my diet, eat at reasonable hours (and force myself to cook properly even when I can't be arsed) and to introduce walking, cycling and swimming into my life as a matter of routine. I've currently being doing so for 3 days.

My Recovery Tips:

Keep tabs on yourself. Mark down, with pen and paper, how long you've been clean to make it real and to be able to look back on your achievement.

If you get tempted remember why you are doing this, and the work and struggle you've already put in.

If you do fall of the wagon, don't despair! Just mark the day that it happened and reboot the very next morning. It's all a matter of mindset; nothing will have been lost if you move on quickly rather than wallowing in your (brief!) failure.

Be vain! This is a difficult process, and you should feel proud of every step you take forward. Congratulate yourself, share your progress with others, and reward yourself (in moderation hehe). You deserve it.

So that's me, how about you? Please share what addictions and behaviours you've been carrying around on your back, and maybe make a commitment to shrugging some of them off!

Good luck!

 

[Tom_green_day]

Addiction 2: Porn
I'm currently 2 days clean.

Hey that's not bad, nice work man! This used to be a huge problem for me too, along with masturbation. I gave it up about 5 months ago now and am aiming for a year.
Watch out because the hardest days are days 2 and about 10. After around a month you forgot all about it. Good luck

 

[Daniel Janhagen]

I gave up on porn and masturbating for 3 months, just to try it. It was pretty cool to see how much I changed sexually (which is why I tried it, to see), but ultimately I didn't like it. When I actually had sex, I found that I came too fast, and I just felt all around worse because I couldn't get "enough" sex (people have different levels of sexual inclination and I want it more often that my other half does).

Still, I do recommend a person to try it, even if you don't feel you're "addicted", because it is kind of an eye opener to see how much it can change you.

 

[putowtin]

Three days without a cig? Good work & keep going! I quit 8 years ago, day five was the worst for me, bit everyones head off who came near me but did it!

 

[LittleBumble]

Good job on staying smoke-free, I may not be a smoker but growing up around them I know it isn't an easy habit to kick. If it isn't the nicotine addiction it's the cheer habit of smoking one...

As for mine, I believe it would be your number 3. A year or so ago I had a... Rough time in school. Very rough. And I would be lying if I said I didn't turn to food to cope. Didn't help that for a while no one kept or cooked any healthy food in the apartment for a while. None the less, I am in better emotional condition now but the eating habits kinda stuck.

As a plus since I moved both me and my mother are cooking in house more and going out to eat less and when we do go out, I try to keep it as healthy as possible (Italian? Sticking to tomato sauces and not cheesy ones. Steak? Sirloin, with broccoli or steamed veggies. No mashed or basked potatoes. Etc.)

I plan to start exercising too but currently my shoulder is kinda bummed and after my boss got in a cast by working out on a rolled ankle... Yeah, I'm waiting until my shoulder is better before I start trying anything too extraneous.

 

[Fasckira]

There were studies that suggested masturbation helped prevent things like prostate cancer.

I dont know if they're founded in anyway, but its good enough for me - I aint risking it.

 

[Casual Shinji]

There were studies that suggested masturbation helped prevent things like prostate cancer.

I dont know if they're founded in anyway, but its good enough for me - I aint risking it.

Lucky me! But seriously, blue balls are good for no one. Unless you spend more than half the day with your hands down your pants, I don't really see this as an issue.

OT: Coca Cola and snacks in general. It's come to a point where I just can't watch a movie without something to nibble. Maybe if I was still in my teens this wouldn't matter too much, but I'm already 31 - I can't just recklessly snack to my hearts content anymore. Easier said than done though.

 

[Eamar]

The only thing I've ever been genuinely addicted to was caffeine, which is hardly unusual or traumatic. I didn't even realise how bad it was until about 18 months ago, when I accidentally went without my fix one morning and honestly thought I was coming down with the flu, the withdrawal was that bad. Major shaking, feeling clammy, massive headache, nausea... not fun.

I took that as a warning to cut down, so I gradually reduced the amount of tea and coffee I was drinking and stopped using caffeine pills altogether (university workloads can be a *****). I even went fully decaff for a while, but I've started having caffeine again recently. I seem to be at a pretty normal level now and I don't feel I need it to function or anything.

Congrats on your progress OP, keep it up

 

[DeathStreamer]

Just some recommendations for any smokers who read this.
Keep in mind that part of the relaxing factor of smoking is the act of going to a smoking area (assuming such places exist where you live, which your mind likely deems to be a "safe and/or relaxing place"), and taking a deep breath into your lungs, and not your stomach.

I've personally never smoked (though I am asthmatic), so I'm unsure how effective this is for people who are trying to quit, but just try and remind yourself any time you have a craving, to take a deep, chesty breath.
Or if you are a "lazy breather" like me, try to take deeper breaths all the time. In my experience, even doing this for less than a minute or so boosts my awareness, posture, mood, and probably subtle things I don't even notice (like the amount of oxygen in my blood).
As for safe places, try to relocate it to somewhere else with fresher air if possible.

Also, I watched a video a day or two ago about how E-Cigs cause people who use them with the intent of quitting to become significantly less likely of doing so.
And that, while they are marketted as being a safe alternative, supposedly have most if not all of the same ingredients as normal cigarettes in them, making them just as poisonous. (If you want to watch the video for yourself to make your own judgement on how legitimate these claims are, just search for "The Dirty Truth About E-Cigs" by DNews on YouTube)
You're much better off just using your own willpower, though it may not seem that way at first.

On the subject of porn, weekly orgasms are normal as far as I know, and can help boost mood (if I remember correctly).
And probably because of that, productivity and activeness in general. Just so you know you don't have to quit entirely ;P.
Though of course if you don't need porn and/or are happier without it, more power to ya.

Anyway, sorry for the long post, hope at least some of this is helpful.

 

[MysticSlayer]

There were studies that suggested masturbation helped prevent things like prostate cancer.

I dont know if they're founded in anyway, but its good enough for me - I aint risking it.

From what I remember, it is very age specific. Younger people tend to increase their risk of prostate cancer by masturbating while older people (i.e. 50+) minimize their risk.

OT:
Caffeine is the only thing I've really been addicted to. At the time, I was working full time and going to college full time, and caffeine was the only way for me to stay awake long enough. Eventually, though, it got to the point where it stopped having an effect, and I would often drink a Red Bull or Monster before going to bed. I even had days where I went well over the daily limit of caffeine intake. When my schedule finally calmed down, I started moving away from caffeine. The headaches were awful for a couple days.

As a positive, I started changing my diet to something a bit healthier, and it generally provides all the energy I need throughout the day. I still drink caffeinated beverages, such as Coca-Cola and Monster, but nowhere near as much as I used to and I don't suffer the nasty side effects that I used to.

 

[Redflash]

Thanks for the encouragement on the smoking front. I definitely identify with what was said about the relaxation/safe-space insight, it's definitely more the thought of a cigarette than the actual nicotine hit that's hard to leave behind.

As for the porn side of things, it's not that I'm throwing jerking off in general out of the picture because I am only human at the end of the day haha It's just the habit of using porn itself that I want to do away with - I'd be scared to meet someone who didn't whack it at all, feel like they might explode if I made bare skin contact!

That's really interesting about the caffeine addiction comments, I've never touched the stuff myself because my mum definitely has a coffee dependency that I didn't want to risk developing myself. I can imagine how hard it must be to shake off once it becomes a part of your morning ritual.

 

[Johnny Impact]

Congratulations to everyone who quit smoking. I have known two people who smoked themselves to death and half a dozen others who have "quit" repeatedly to no avail. I have never smoked, but people who have have told me the first month is the hardest. Keep going!

Also, watch to make sure you don't substitute another addiction. My uncle quit drinking and switched to coffee. It's a step up from liquor, but the sheer quantity he consumes -- I'm talking multiple pots a day -- is alarming in itself.

1. Sloth/Fat/Overeating

I'm lumping all of this together into a single large problem, like a coin with three faces.

I've never had a super-healthy diet. The last few years have been worse. We had a total peckerhead on the crew where I work. His dad ran the place, so he could come in late, sit down and do quite literally nothing for hours at a time, mouth off to everyone, etc. If I could have been sure of getting away with it, he'd be dead now. Do NOT let me get into a rant.

Binge food was my way of coping. "Made it through the day, didn't kill Joseph. Ice cream!" Next day, candy bars (yes, more than one). Next day, meat lover's pizza. It became a lifestyle. Rinse and repeat for three years and what had been a little softness around the waist turned into a bona fide innertube. Having to buy bigger pants was embarrassing.

I don't want this to sound like I'm blaming the kid. I should have done something else with the frustration. I own my actions. I'm just saying he was a catalyst. Grease and sugar make me feel better. Try to be angry and eat ice cream at the same time. It's hard.

The answer is simple: diet, exercise, regular looks in the mirror, and choosing an example to try and follow. Unfortunately, simple is not the same as easy.

I am trying to eat only fruits and vegetables for two meals a day, then not go overboard with the third. Cutting fats and sugars completely will not work, I've tried it, so I am limiting myself to a couple times a week.

I am starting Couch to 5k and possibly Stronglifts 5x5. (I understand it is very hard to gain strength and lose weight simultaneously, so I may hold off the weights until I deal with the, uh, weights.)

I am forcing myself to look, really LOOK at myself in the mirror every day. Normally I don't do that, I'm fairly indifferent to my own appearance. Facing the embarrassment of being chunky, getting an honest appraisal of the situation, is key. They say learning to love yourself is important. Thing is, if you look in the mirror and all you see is jiggly rolls of blubber (no, I'm not that bad off), I don't think you should love that. I think you should be upset. Motivated. Why struggle to love yourself the way you are when you could struggle to turn yourself into someone you actually like better? I don't want to look in the mirror and say, "Well, it's what's inside that counts." I want to say, "I'd bang me."

Lastly, I made a motivational poster. No, no "hot chicks." I used Henry Rollins, whom I admire for any number of reasons, his physique being just one. He's looking really intense (but then, when does he not?), and underneath it says in huge letters, THE IRON NEVER LIES. The poster is on my door so it is the last thing I see before leaving the house.

 

[Redflash]

-snip-

That's awesome man, I totally agree that half the battle is making yourself stand in front of the mirror rather than rushing past it. I've never heard of the couch to 5k thing, sounds pretty good. As far as the weights vs. weight loss goes, based on what my nutritionist/exercise freak housemate opined I'd say you'd definitely be best off focusing on the 'loss' part initially, then introducing strength training in when you're getting closer to your ideal shape - that way once the body fat is out of the way you'll have a reserve of muscle under it, which helps with loose skin and such. Hope it goes well, maybe set yourself an end reward of twatting Joesph in the face haha

 

[Esotera]

I was addicted to coffee but gave it up for New Year's, and haven't had it at all this year. The first week was pretty hard but otherwise it was fine.

I guess I'm moderately addicted to alcohol as well? I probably drink 3-4 times a week and usually have 5-10 units, but as I'm technically still a student it could be much worse. I'm not particularly worried about it either as I've previously been able to give up for months, and it's more of a social thing than anything. I should still reduce the amount I drink, but I really don't see it as that important right now.

 

[LobsterFeng]

I can't stop drinking soda. I down on average like 5 to 7 cans a day. It's not making me fat but it's destroying my teeth, the gum line on my front teeth have almost disappeared completely and I will probably lose all my front teeth in like 20 years or so. I realize soda drinking isn't as addictive as other things but for some reason I just can't stop.

 

[michael87cn]

Soda: Working on it.

Games: Don't want to work on it I enjoy this addiction and it has few downsides.

Okay I guess I'm also addicted to coffee, but I don't think 1 cup a day is that bad.

Other than that I've made big changes in my life lately. I don't eat bread anymore. I don't eat chips, cookies, candy etc. I just got home from the store actually, and my purchases were: 2 apples, 1 orange, 1 broccoli crown, 1 bag of carrots, 1 bag of brown rice, 1 bag of chicken breasts, AND A BOX OF CHOCOLATES! Just kidding.

 

[BeerTent]

I can't stop drinking soda. I down on average like 5 to 7 cans a day. It's not making me fat but it's destroying my teeth, the gum line on my front teeth have almost disappeared completely and I will probably lose all my front teeth in like 20 years or so. I realize soda drinking isn't as addictive as other things but for some reason I just can't stop.

Actually, it is a really serious problem.

$4000 in dentist's fees later (And I HAVE a dental plan from work. It's dry.) I'm still drinking the shit. Mind you, I'm not my teenage myself, making coke-can pyramids on my desk anymore, but I limit myself now. I don't want to be the guy to tell you your business. Because I have no business in telling you this, but...

If you can stop. Work to stop.

Replace it with water. Drinking juice or tea helped me when it comes to having a need for something flavored.
If your like me, always reaching for a drink at the computer desk, get a water bottle at your desk and just use filtered water.

Also, if you're looking for incentive to stop drinking pop, down a can, chug that ************ seconds before you hop in bed and sleep. Tell me how the morning goes.

Feels like a hangover, dunnit? That's because it is one. Pop simply suppresses your thirst. There is absolutely nothing in there to hydrate you.

There are two types of addictions. Just because there's no physical dependency on pop, doesn't make that mental dependency, or habit any less of a danger.

Now, just so I'm on topic. My addictions?
Sex and porn. Specific kinds I'll have you know.
Eating out... NO! Not that kind, I mean restaurants! Jesus, THAT falls under the above addiction.
And, games. I'm not gonna lie. I play way too many Video-Games to be proper productive.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

I'm a bit of a binge eater, my week usually consists of pizza, Subway, steak, Mcdonalds, cooked breakfast, and other junk. I'm not exactly fat but I've recently put on a bit of chub. I'm moving in with some uni mates after the holiday so I'm going to start going to the gym to lose this flab and hopefully get a Pillar Man body.

 

[FPLOON]

Well, I was going to joke about having an addiction to nostalgia, but I'll take this seriously and say that I'm addicted to late-night eating in general... Almost every night (at like 1 or 2am, basically) I'm "sneaking" into the kitchen to eat something ranging from just two pieces of bread to a "handful" of fun size Snickers Bars[footnote]I REALLY loves Snickers to the point that I buy twice as many just because I know I might end up eating some Snickers under the pale moonlight...[/footnote] I think you're not suppose to eat before you go to sleep, but I still have that urge to eat something before I hit the hay... only to wake up at like noon sometimes...

I seriously need to stop eating at night, but I get so hungry after midnight... even if I had a well-made dinner beforehand...

 

[II2]

Spent half a decade or so hitting synthetic narcotics daily. Oxycodone, Hydromorphone, Morphine, etc. If unavailable, I'd do the water solubility extraction on OTC tylenol 222 (or generic alternative) and drink the Codeine content of 50 to 100 pills a day having elminiated the (otherwise lethal) acetaminophen or aspirin content with coffee filters. Any downers I could get, too - dopey stuff tide me over or exaggerate the effects. Valium, Klonopin, Xanax, etc. Mix of scripts and street purchases.

I remember starting around the time Rockstar's Bully came out, playing on a friend's PS2 (I thought it was the time of the port, but that wasn't right and I never played the deluxe edition).

Never stole, or hurt anyone in any direct way (except myself) - just a sad young man self medicating for an chronic (by clinical criteria) substance dependance. One day, I decided I was done, walked to a walk in clinic, explained my situation and asked for some Clonidine for a home detox. Ugly sickness. Not as bad as pneumonia, but similar (worse mentally). Took up martial arts with the money I wasn't spending on painkillers. Couple years roll on. Still clean, at least as far as painkillers go, outside of using them for their function and utility. I take a fair ammount of uppers and caffeine (pills and tea) these days, but it's all above board and high functioning. Left the dojo, but kept up the exercises, vigilantly. Made an effort to meet some new people, found some new work.

If I had some advice, it would be the obvious: don't get hooked on opioids and spend half your twenties retired from the world, but for videogames and pills stronger than heroin. I came out the other side basically ok, but some of my childhood friends are dead from overdoses and some never quit, but I'm still unsure if I'll ever have a normal shit again. Spend a half decade on things that severely constipate you, takes years go get halfway back to normal. Take that as a humorous and horrible over share word of caution.

----

Appended thoughts: Of my friends who were unable to quit and those who died, it was the people who were doing the same shit, but shooting it up. I always just ate them or blew lines of the crushed XR capsules. The funny thing was, I have no problem with needles, or performing minor first aid / self surgery, but I didn't want to get a skin infection. It's kinda amusing the weird standards we hold onto while performing other extreme abuses and neglect of self.