MovieBob said:
Fair Game
This week, Bob weighs the pros and cons of playing fair.
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We're in the age of the disclaimer. Everything you say has to be littered with disclaimers of all shapes and sizes so that you don't accidentally offend anyone. It's like the little brother Randy from
A Christmas Story--our opinions are so bundled up with padding they're left feebly shouting, "I can't put my arms down!"
In an odd juxtaposition to this, while we
insist that everyone adhere to strict moderation and mediation, we are in a culture that has not properly learned to
allow mediation. Here's what I mean:
Person A and Person B disagree. Strongly. Person C is approached to weigh in on the topic, ostensibly to act as mediator. Person C, recognizing the need for mediation, expresses an interest in understanding both sides so that both sides can come to understand each other in a civil manner.
Problem: Person A and Person B are really just looking for a third person to give each of them the "two out of three" they need
to be right. This means that everything Person C says in Person A's favor will simply cause Person A to say, "SEE?! I'm so right!"... while Person B will do the same when the opposite happens. Conversely (and this is the worst facet of this whole thing), when Person C tries to explain to Person A the potential merits of Person B's position,
Person A will feel and behave as though horribly betrayed by Person C.
That's right. If you don't play both sides, you're a fanboi. And if you do play both sides? Well, each side will view you as a traitor for failing to wholly condemn the other side. The "middle ground" ends up being only a crossfire, like some kind of twisted, reverse-Venn-diagram setting.
The root of the problem? Our opinions are based more on feelings than on reason. It's simply truth--when people engage in discussions about politics or religion or personal passions, they are using a part of their brain that is mostly tied to
emotion. The rational, reasonable part of the brain is overridden, unable to make itself heard over the emotional ruckus.
That's the job of mediators--to be dispassionate, so that reason can prevail. There's not always a compromise to be reached, but you can at least ensure that both sides have heard and legitimately understood each other, so that we can all move forward peacefully. But passion only understands passion, and if your passion doesn't match mine, Newton's twisted third law of passion states that you must, therefore, harbor an equal but opposite passion.
So, indecision is the new compromise. Best of luck.