The Bodily Injury Thread

[EHKOS]

Caught my penis in my zipper....I think three times.
Fell off the playground fireman pole, landed on my head and broke my left arm. I swear I have brain damage but nobody believes me.
Cracked my head I don't know how many times.
I have a dime sized scar on my left pinky knuckle from a bike accident.
Lazy eye due to the surgery being botched, now it's pointing the oppiste direction.
I have a hurnia but I really don't feel likie getting it fixed since I don't do anything to antagonize it.
I think that's it. Thanks for making me relive my most painful moments, dick. (jking)

 

[Sexy Street]

I stabbed myself in the leg and burst a cappilary one time.

 

[Blatherscythe]

lol this is great. Nice job man. I've:

been mauled by a cougar,
ripped the little toe of my right foot (it was sewed back on),
shot by three different firearms; a beretta tomcat(abdomen), M4 Carbine(thigh), .308(humerus),
stabbed in the hand with a Rambo-style-knife, (my friend was drunk),
and the worst one....I got a fricken paper cut earlier.

I call shenanigans!

 

[asinann]

Shattered shin (got a metal rod for that one), Torn ligaments in my knee, Torn Cartilage in the same knee, shattered shoulder blade, cracked skull (plate for that one) and shot in the arm along with innumerable broken bones. I'm not counting the things that didn't inconvenience me for more than a week or I'd be here all day.

 

[Eldarion]

No broken bones, but to many bruises, cuts, high speed impacts to count.

Practicing free form martial arts with friends has given be plenty of small injuries.

 

[Kamikazi1231]

Rolled a few ankles here and there. Sprained a wrist. And got ran over by a car... ya that was not a fun one.

 

[darkfire613]

When I was a very little kid, I ran through my living room when there were Lego scattered across the floor. I slipped on them, and cut a huge gash on the side of my nose, where I've still got a scar.

On the first day of sixth grade, someone bumped my arm accidentally when walking past me, shoving a pencil up my nose, the lead breaking off inside. It came out a week later.

In third grade I think, something around that, I was out in the school field at recess during winter, and there was this frozen puddle there that I was sliding around on when I slipped, falling face-first and breaking my nose.

In retrospect, my nose seems to take quite a beating.

 

[badgersprite]

I had my knee impaled by a broken bicycle kickstand.
I had my nose broken by falling face-first off a bunk bed.
Then broken again after having one of those giant luggage trolleys fall on my face.
Fractured left forearm.
Fell down the stairs as a baby.
For that matter, was born not breathing, and the rushed birth left me with lifelong neck injury.
A broken foot from having a dumbbell weight fall on it (bruised for three months).
Right knee gashed open twice.
Achilles tendon torn.
Very small burn mark on my index finger, which I also broke at some point (it doesn't bend properly), but I can't remember how.

Yeah, I'm accident prone.

 

[TankCopter]

My brother stabbed me in the hand with a set of nail scissors because I wouldn't let him kick me off the computer.
Hyperextended my knee and came close to breaking my elbow when I fell off a horse (I got some wonderful bruises from that as well)
Scratched the top layer of my skin off in little patches all over my hands (it was a stress thing, I was doing it in my sleep.)
Got a lovely staph infection in said sores. Spent the next month with hands like mummies.
Fell off my chair and landed on my tailbone. Not a serious injury but goddamn it hurt.

 

[helldragonX]

Well the two that stand out are: I got folded in half under a garage door that fell on me and I got the top of my ear bitten off by a dog.

 

[l3lazec]

-Had my collar-bone broken during a game of rugby, had my arm in a sling for about 2 months :/

-Same person who tackled me in rugby was my partner for gym class later and because of that I tore my ACL, MCL, LCL, fractured knee, shattered meniscus and spent about 3 months in a wheelchair+3 months on crutches+3 months with a cane

edit: there's been some other small stuff but I don't count those, if I don't have to go to the hospital then it's not really worth mentioning

 

[Betancore]

I've sprained my ankle (always the same goddamn ankle) a few times, and I've fallen off my skateboard and onto my ass more times than I care to remember. I'm also pretty clumsy, and I'm very bad with sharp objects, so I've had a few mishaps with knives in the kitchen as well. I'm actually okay with pain, since two very painful things happen to me monthly.

 

[Athol]

These are small time, compared to some of the people here.

Fell face-first into a prickley pear cactus

Cracked my head on my elementary school (still have a scar)

Tore my cheek open in middle school

Tore my thumpnail off in high school

2nd degree burn to my right forearm (outside) while using an incierator

 

[GrimTuesday]

I got hit in the face with a table leg
Split my lip on a chair leg
I have quite a few little divots on my fingers from losing entire chunks of skin playing foot ball
Hand slammed in car door
I sprained my ankle to the point where if it had rotated just a little bit further it would have snapped. I can't walk for very long anymore without it hurting me
Impaled my finger with a fork trying to scrape hardened chocolate
Somehow I hurt my shoulder to the point that it makes this gross clicking noise every time I move it and I can't hold things up with a straight arm very well
Impaled my knee on a log
Impaled my leg on a tree

 

[chainer1216]

i fell into a campfire when i was like 3. i've dislocated both my shoulders, had a pencil go threw my hand, been stabbed in the hand with a knife, i dislocated my knee while bowling, i've had fractured ribs, 1, maybe 2 concussions, sprained my ankle and right wrist and i think i have some sort of hip injury right now, though i think its nerve based.

my body is a roadmap of pain!

 

[Dark Knifer]

The only bone I have ever broken was in my wrist and it was the singularly most important bone in my hand and if it didn't heal right I wouldn't be able to use that hand ever. Thankfully it did heal.

 

[krimson_dropz]

what should have been the worst thing i walked off, i took a face plant off a bar that was about 6 feet high, landed on my face, my back bending painfully. i laid down for a few minutes, got up and walked it off.
worst thing i did i stabbed a kid in the neck with a pencil.

 

[CouchCommando]

Been stabbed with a large kitchen knife (almost lost a finger as well), jumped off a 2 story roof, surprisingly didn't break anything, although it did knock the wind out of me. Broke a knuckle punching someone in the head, dislocated my shoulder playing football. Had a door slammed on my head until the door broke (yeah my home life was kinda dysfunctional when I was growing up), But the absolute worst injury I had was actually lifting a heavy piece of concrete, I tore my quad. It is taking forever to heal up, 3 months ago it had almost healed up and pow!!! relapsed straight back to square one.

 

[Valksy]

Banged my head on stuff lots of times and fallen over a fair bit. The curse of the clumsy. Last winter alone I fell in two snow drifts. Managed to not really hurt myself (so far).

My Mum backed her car in to me and broke a bone in my foot. It hurt a bit but I was at an age where saying "My mum ran me over" was so much fun that I didn't mind.

 

[Levi93]

3 broken wrists
2 broken arms
1 broken leg
Face sliced open by a cat
Accidentally stabbed my hand with an awl.
Hit by a motorbike.

you have 3 wrists? actually that could be fun now that i think about it