the concept of the "man-child"

[lacktheknack]

Childhood is for enjoyment. I regret nothing.

However, most people aren't going to transition well from childhood to adulthood without some major reevaluation. I'm in university, and I'm "getting my shit together", ie. entertaining myself less, working harder, rearranging and filling my schedule to maximize output, blah blah blah, and I'm STILL in great danger of flunking out.

I define a "man-child" as someone who never made a mental and priority transition between childhood and adulthood, excepting if they had very independent/work-heavy childhoods. A good acid test is if someone can sit down and work twelve hours a day for a week straight while still cooking and cleaning after themselves, leaving themselves no time for fun.

whats the point in living if you live like that? you need at least some fun to make the hard work worthwhile.

Well yes, that's why I'm on The Escapist. However, if I need to buckle down and work with no play for a week or more, I can.

 

[Daffy F]

Every generation does this with the next generation because it's the only way they can feel good about getting old, seeing as how it has no other real benefits.

Deep. Now I feel like I can't add anything of value. Damn you first poster!

 

[Lilani]

I always thought of a "man-child" as a person who should be a perfectly functioning adult, but still engages in juvenile behaviors and refuses to take on the responsibilities of an adult.

As for the living with your parents when you're still 25 thing, I think that's situational. I'd consider someone who is in college or holding down a job while living at home less of a "man-child" than the schmuck who lives in a dirty apartment sitting in a pile of Cheetos screaming at "noobs" on XBL all day, bitching and moaning when the power gets shut off because he shirked another utilities bill to pay for his WoW subscription.

And before anyone says it, that does go for females as well.

 

[Gralian]

Jesus freaking christ on a pogo-stick, OP. So many paragraphs give me a headache.

Anyway, yeah. I do think being a man-child is a bad thing, and that's coming from a self-confessed man-child who is a 21 year old virgin that has absolutely zero self-reliance skills. I can't cook. I can't clean, iron, i don't know what APR stands for and i have no sodding idea how to pay taxes. I feel, well, completely and utterly useless. When i hit 18 i expected to have taken some magical pill that will suddenly make me into the self-reliant drone that knows all this adult stuff without any form of education beforehand. Now that i'm 21, it's outright expected that i know it all by now and... i don't. I'm actually terrified of life by myself because i know i'm going to be so fucking incompetant and screw it all up. I'm going to be living off pot noodles for the rest of my life.

I know why this is the case, though. Growing up i've had it incredibly easy. My parents father has an impressive income that meant anything that was wanted or needed, i got. I essentially became the spoilt brat - a statement that holds up as even more true when you consider the fact i'm an only child. Now i'm all grown up, i should be looking out for myself. But the fact is i'm still playing games all day long while studying university courses in the comfort of my own home, with things provided to me and meals cooked for me. I live like a king in some respects, and i'm scared to have that status quo change. It's not just fear of an inferior life; it's the thought that when it comes down to it i just won't be able to look after myself.

I really think people should place a higher value on independence and future parents should heed my tale of becoming entirely dependent on a caregiver and try to teach their offspring the values of being able to maintain a relatively normal lifestyle. School doesn't teach you how to budget, how mortgage or insurance works or how to cook a meal that is little more than a microwavable packet and i really think this is a huge flaw in the education system, personally. I know you're supposed to learn all that shit when you move out to stay on campus for university but not everyone has that luxury.

Also OP i would argue you're looking at two different definitions of man-children. There's the irresponsible one (that's me) and there's the cultural one. The one that watches My Little Pony and cartoon episodes of Transformers. In some people's eyes, man-children are the "excessively nerdy" type who still get excited about comic books and tabletop figurines at the age of 25+. If we're talking about the cultural aspect of man-children, i'd have to say that while reading comic books as a fully grown adult is a little bit strange, it's not hurting anyone so people should be free to embrace whatever aspect of cultures they enjoy. So what if adults like watching kids' shows? As long as it doesn't directly impact YOU, they can be as much a "man-child" as they damn well want to and my personal opinion shouldn't damn well impact that. That being said, it doesn't mean that i have to agree with it on a personal level, but rather respect the choices of those that do so.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

I fall into this category somewhat. I'm 21, and moved back in with my parents after graduating college because I couldn't find a job in my field. I do mostly cook and clean for myself, keep track of my earnings and spending, run various errands, exercise religiously, and have a full time job - but then again, the only reason I have said job is because of my dad. Sure, I'm saving up a good chunk of my earnings, but until I earn a job that allows/requires me to move out and support myself, I can't really call myself a man.

I really think people should place a higher value on independence and future parents should heed my tale of becoming entirely dependent on a caregiver and try to teach their offspring the values of being able to maintain a relatively normal lifestyle. School doesn't teach you how to budget, how mortgage or insurance works or how to cook a meal that is little more than a microwavable packet and i really think this is a huge flaw in the education system, personally. I know you're supposed to learn all that shit when you move out to stay on campus for university but not everyone has that luxury.

I couldn't agree more. Learning to live on your own is much more vital than say, knowing what a culture from 1000 years ago was like, or being able to understand jargon from Shakespeare plays, or a lot of the other stuff that they teach you in high school. Business and accounting classes *do* teach some valuable skills that can help you live on your own, like how to type faster (useful because using a computer is pretty much a necessity nowadays), and how to use Microsoft Excel (which can help you organize your budget).

 

[Doc Theta Sigma]

I too fall a little into this category. I'm 19 and I'm living at home with my mum while I'm looking for work. I do clean for myself and cook with what very limited knowledge I have but unlike my friends at uni I am not fully self reliant. I've had some of them say to me I need to get my "shit together" and "move the fuck out before you're a basement dweller". I feel a little bad that I'm not fully self reliant. But I pay rent. Well. If you call £50 a week rent anyway. But I do find I get looked down on even at 19.

 

[vortexgods]

Frank Miller seems to have a problem with it:

[a]http://www.bleedingcool.com/2011/11/13/putting-frank-millers-words-into-batmans-mouth/[/a]

You kids with your iPads and your "Lords of Warcraft."

 

[Signa]

A 'man child' is anyone who doesn't support themself by the age of 18 21. If you're still sponging off of others at this age, you are a 'man child'.

-'whats so great about "getting your shit together" anyway?'-

Really?

Well, if you want to be a 'man child', then I guess getting your shit together isn't such a great thing.

EDIT: If you don't like my definition of a man child, you can always call them spoiled freeloaders too, it's just as accurate.

EDIT2: The article linked says this: -'Think Kelso in That '70s Show, or Joey from Friends. My generation aspired to be that guy, the kid in a grownup body with simple, childish appetites and aspirations. I was that guy for years -- a dude can get very popular doing that.'-

If anyone really aspires to be that, or thinks they can become popular by doing so, then maybe they don't have the mental capacity to actually live on their own, and maybe they should stay 'close to the nest'. Or maybe the combined 3 episodes I saw of both those shows was misleading...

well Ithink it depnds on what somone means by "gettong ones shit together" again as somone said there are generational things

for example in the eyes of some "getting my shit together" might mean stop playing videogames (ever), find myself a man and start procreating....now why the hell would i want to do that?

I think (as most reasonalbe people would) that you can do whatever the hell you want provided its not coming out of somone elses pocket (in no way do I condone "leeching")

also its interesting, I watch american beauty last night which has the issue of "suburbia and the midlife crisis"...which makes me think about what we are "suposed" to want out of life...and I dont think anyone should tell us what we should/do want out of life except ourselfs

I see the term thrown around a little too casually. Just as Sravankb said about his in-law: there is a time and a place for everything. I think the term comes from women a lot, who only want mature men that they can control in some way. When they see a guy trying to have fun, he gets written off as a loser and a manchild, because only kids are allowed to have fun like that.

I would like to think thats more of a hollywood steryotype than somthing in real life

Im a chick and it annoys the FUCK out of me (knocked up is one offender)

Well, from this post, you sound pretty fucking awesome. I've not had a very positive vibe from most females I deal with. From co-workers to even my own sister, so often they look down on me for enjoying video games or "acting immature" while ignoring everything about themselves that is, in my opinion, quite immature.

 

[Vault101]

[)

Well, from this post, you sound pretty fucking awesome. I've not had a very positive vibe from most females I deal with. From co-workers to even my own sister, so often they look down on me for enjoying video games or "acting immature" while ignoring everything about themselves that is, in my opinion, quite immature.

*shrug* thats just societys double standard, its perfectly acceptble for say...a woman to spend alot on shoes (more or less) but if its videogames/comics/action figures then its a problem (or in guys case..spending alot of his car and/or alchohol)

but I think its less aparent now as Videogames are pretty mainstream

I mean if I found shoes as exciting as women seem to then Id probably spend rediculous amounts money on them...but yeah...

 

[Vault101]

Jesus freaking christ on a pogo-stick, OP. So many paragraphs give me a headache.

Anyway, yeah. I do think being a man-child is a bad thing, and that's coming from a self-confessed man-child who is a 21 year old virgin that has absolutely zero self-reliance skills. I can't cook. I can't clean, iron, i don't know what APR stands for and i have no sodding idea how to pay taxes. I feel, well, completely and utterly useless. When i hit 18 i expected to have taken some magical pill that will suddenly make me into the self-reliant drone that knows all this adult stuff without any form of education beforehand. Now that i'm 21, it's outright expected that i know it all by now and... i don't. I'm actually terrified of life by myself because i know i'm going to be so fucking incompetant and screw it all up. I'm going to be living off pot noodles for the rest of my life.

I know why this is the case, though. Growing up i've had it incredibly easy. My parents father has an impressive income that meant anything that was wanted or needed, i got. I essentially became the spoilt brat - a statement that holds up as even more true when you consider the fact i'm an only child. Now i'm all grown up, i should be looking out for myself. But the fact is i'm still playing games all day long while studying university courses in the comfort of my own home, with things provided to me and meals cooked for me. I live like a king in some respects, and i'm scared to have that status quo change. It's not just fear of an inferior life; it's the thought that when it comes down to it i just won't be able to look after myself.

I really think people should place a higher value on independence and future parents should heed my tale of becoming entirely dependent on a caregiver and try to teach their offspring the values of being able to maintain a relatively normal lifestyle. School doesn't teach you how to budget, how mortgage or insurance works or how to cook a meal that is little more than a microwavable packet and i really think this is a huge flaw in the education system, personally. I know you're supposed to learn all that shit when you move out to stay on campus for university but not everyone has that luxury.

Also OP i would argue you're looking at two different definitions of man-children. There's the irresponsible one (that's me) and there's the cultural one. The one that watches My Little Pony and cartoon episodes of Transformers. In some people's eyes, man-children are the "excessively nerdy" type who still get excited about comic books and tabletop figurines at the age of 25+. If we're talking about the cultural aspect of man-children, i'd have to say that while reading comic books as a fully grown adult is a little bit strange, it's not hurting anyone so people should be free to embrace whatever aspect of cultures they enjoy. So what if adults like watching kids' shows? As long as it doesn't directly impact YOU, they can be as much a "man-child" as they damn well want to and my personal opinion shouldn't damn well impact that. That being said, it doesn't mean that i have to agree with it on a personal level, but rather respect the choices of those that do so.

sorry, I think I try too hard to avoid wall of text....creating "lines" of text

anyway learning to look after yourself isnt hard at all, trial and error. I mean if you do live at home then why dont you try and help out a bit? offer to cook dinner a night or two or somthing


I can understand about fearing your lifestyle might go down a notch or too...I also come from a very privilaged position..but seriously the feeling of independace is great..I eat dinner when I want..and I eat what I want..I dont share the TV with anyone and I damn well clean up when "I" feel like it...I dont deal with anyone else (but then again I live alone..and that may change soon)

in regards to the "cultrul" man child..

"reading comic books as a fully grown adult is a little bit strange"- actually I disagree...why is it strange? as far as I can tell most comics arnt targeted towards kids, same with the tabletop gaming

while there is overlap "nerdy" hobbies and "man-child" dont always have to have anything to do with each other..they are just hobbies, and just a steryotype

 

[Vault101]

I fall into this category somewhat. I'm 21, and moved back in with my parents after graduating college because I couldn't find a job in my field. I do mostly cook and clean for myself, keep track of my earnings and spending, run various errands, exercise religiously, and have a full time job - but then again, the only reason I have said job is because of my dad. Sure, I'm saving up a good chunk of my earnings, but until I earn a job that allows/requires me to move out and support myself, I can't really call myself a man.

I really think people should place a higher value on independence and future parents should heed my tale of becoming entirely dependent on a caregiver and try to teach their offspring the values of being able to maintain a relatively normal lifestyle. School doesn't teach you how to budget, how mortgage or insurance works or how to cook a meal that is little more than a microwavable packet and i really think this is a huge flaw in the education system, personally. I know you're supposed to learn all that shit when you move out to stay on campus for university but not everyone has that luxury.

I couldn't agree more. Learning to live on your own is much more vital than say, knowing what a culture from 1000 years ago was like, or being able to understand jargon from Shakespeare plays, or a lot of the other stuff that they teach you in high school. Business and accounting classes *do* teach some valuable skills that can help you live on your own, like how to type faster (useful because using a computer is pretty much a necessity nowadays), and how to use Microsoft Excel (which can help you organize your budget).

I dont know...the budgeting and all that stuff..yeah..but basic cleanign and cooking you really should just be able to pick up yourself...even if its through trial and error

its funny because right now there seem to be alot of people in your position, so at least thease days its not automatically "lives at home=loser"

I do wonder how much I fit....

I live at my parents house...except not "with" them, they just own the house, which means I pay bugger all rent, I have a full time job..live on my own and do all that other stuff (cleaning and cooking and ironing) ..so Im not being financally suported by them like i was beofore (which I really hate and dont want to have to do again)


I mean had things been different i probably would be living with my parents..just so happens they live out in the middle of nowhere...and Im incredibly lucky

 

[Loonyyy]

Childhood is for enjoyment. I regret nothing.

However, most people aren't going to transition well from childhood to adulthood without some major reevaluation. I'm in university, and I'm "getting my shit together", ie. entertaining myself less, working harder, rearranging and filling my schedule to maximize output, blah blah blah, and I'm STILL in great danger of flunking out.

I define a "man-child" as someone who never made a mental and priority transition between childhood and adulthood, excepting if they had very independent/work-heavy childhoods. A good acid test is if someone can sit down and work twelve hours a day for a week straight while still cooking and cleaning after themselves, leaving themselves no time for fun.

If that's your acid test, I reject your entire philosphy: You get One life. When you're dead, there's no conclusive evidence there's anything after it. Hence, being willing to only work for 12 hours a day for an entire week (Most workplaces do get days off...) is wasting your only life. Work as much as you need to to be happy, but being happy with drudgery is simply assenting to a dissatisfying existence. If you have no time for fun, if you do nothing that is enjoyable, then your life is entirely devoid of value, and not worth living. Here's a reasonable acid test that doesn't make everyone a slave: Can they work? Do they work? Can they support themselves? Do they support themselves?

If they can support themselves, and don't, or make no effort towards self sufficiency through simple hedonism or laziness, then they're a "Man-Child". But otherwise, who are we to judge someone who enjoys living?

 

[Ihateregistering1]

When I hear 'man-child', I think of those guys (and I'm sure everyone here knows at least one) who are in their early 30s but still act like they're sophomores in college. You know the type: they get ridiculously drunk at every party, have little to no aspiration for anything beyond the next time they're going to go to a party or get laid, and still hanging out at nightclubs and trying to pick up 21 year olds. When you're a young 20-something, I've got it (lord knows I was there) but there comes a point where you've gotta say "I'm getting too old for this" and move on.

 

[VondeVon]

Although I would first define a man-child as someone who refuses normal adult responsibilities and clings to others to support him, I would also define it as someone who isn't 'grown up' emotionally.

I've met men with wives and children who sulk and throw tantrums more than their kids do. :S

I see nothing wrong with wanting a hedonistic lifestyle, so long as you're prepared to earn it.

 

[lacktheknack]

Childhood is for enjoyment. I regret nothing.

However, most people aren't going to transition well from childhood to adulthood without some major reevaluation. I'm in university, and I'm "getting my shit together", ie. entertaining myself less, working harder, rearranging and filling my schedule to maximize output, blah blah blah, and I'm STILL in great danger of flunking out.

I define a "man-child" as someone who never made a mental and priority transition between childhood and adulthood, excepting if they had very independent/work-heavy childhoods. A good acid test is if someone can sit down and work twelve hours a day for a week straight while still cooking and cleaning after themselves, leaving themselves no time for fun.

If that's your acid test, I reject your entire philosphy: You get One life. When you're dead, there's no conclusive evidence there's anything after it. Hence, being willing to only work for 12 hours a day for an entire week (Most workplaces do get days off...) is wasting your only life. Work as much as you need to to be happy, but being happy with drudgery is simply assenting to a dissatisfying existence. If you have no time for fun, if you do nothing that is enjoyable, then your life is entirely devoid of value, and not worth living. Here's a reasonable acid test that doesn't make everyone a slave: Can they work? Do they work? Can they support themselves? Do they support themselves?

If they can support themselves, and don't, or make no effort towards self sufficiency through simple hedonism or laziness, then they're a "Man-Child". But otherwise, who are we to judge someone who enjoys living?

I said "can you", not "you should". As a student who's taken too many classes, I know I can.

That doesn't mean that I think that that should be life. I mean, I'm posting on "The Escapist" right now...

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

The only thing I have ever aspired to in life is to find a job I can do well enough to not be fired and that pays well enough for me to live in adequate conditions.

We don't need an apology, we need to get up and act better.

I am currently typing this in a small room on a handmedown laptop in my mother's house because I am unemployed. I am not attending college because I don't want to waste time or money trying to learn something that holds no interest or relevance to me. I want to find a new job, so I can move back out and go back to living on my own like a real adult.

Get the fuck up America

 

[Iron Mal]

Not a snide remark, just taking a shot at guessing your situation.

I'm taking a guess you aren't familiar with the idea of 'not what you say but how you say it'.

It was a snide remark.

And you don't even get the basement, you have a room? Yup, you made the case for the army of leaches.

And you're calling me a leech based upon...?

Considering how little you actually know about me you seem pretty confident about launching off into insulting me.

More thought and less attempts at wittiness next time, ok?

 

[Johnny Impact]

Man-Child is a hazing term that the older generation uses to describe "them pesky kids". Because as we all know, if you didn't go uphill both ways barefooted in the snow to school, you are the source of the world's problems.

Every generation does this with the next generation because it's the only way they can feel good about getting old, seeing as how it has no other real benefits.

Exactly. I can already envision being the crotchety old guy telling the arrogant youths all about the complete lack of cable TV, Internet, cell phones, and a dozen other things back when *I* was a kid.

And I can already picture those kids not listening to a word I say and being too self-obsessed to understand anyway.