The Customer Is Always Wrong

[Ignignokt]

This sets off alarms in Dan's skull, because that's a sign that the customer is going to attempt a quick-change (I can explain what that is if anyone needs me to)

I need it explained

 

[dantheman931]

This sets off alarms in Dan's skull, because that's a sign that the customer is going to attempt a quick-change (I can explain what that is if anyone needs me to)

I need it explained

Here's how a quick-change works:

1. Customer attempts to pay for something small (like gum) with a large bill.

2. Cashier rings up sale, opens drawer.

3. Customer suddenly says something like, "Ooo, I didn't realize this was a *whatever*. Can I take it back and give you *whatever else* instead? This is meant to confuse the cashier.

4. Customer then furthers the confusion by trying to use yet another bill, asking for change, or whatever. (The one and only time I had it done to me, the customer even grabbed cash out of the register, and I was young 'n' foolish at the time and didn't try to stop her.)

5. End result: Customer has taken advantage of the cashier's confusion to scam said cashier out of a large amount of cash. Cashier is later fired like a ***** for losing money (or at least that's what happened to me).

 

[Mookie_Magnus]

no, the customer is always right if you dont want to get fired or sued

they should change it to "the customer is always right because he/she is an idiot" or "the idiot is always right...wtf"

You just missed the entire point of this thread.

 

[dantheman931]

no, the customer is always right if you dont want to get fired or sued

they should change it to "the customer is always right because he/she is an idiot" or "the idiot is always right...wtf"

You just missed the entire point of this thread.

I think he's referring to the earlier discussion about whether "The customer is always right" is an outdated concept. Which, incidentally, it is.

 

[seamusotorain]

This happened the day after an armed robbery that took place across town. A customer was waiting for his service to be completed, and he was reading a newspaper. All of a sudden, from nowhere, he said "F***in *slur against Mexicans*, comin here and robbin us hard-workin Americans." (Except it came out more like "merkins." A merkin, in case you were unaware, is a pubic wig, but I digress.)

Normally I would have held my tongue, but for some reason that just hit me the wrong way. I very calmly asked him, "Would you feel any better about it if it had been a white man, sir?" I figured it was a mistake as soon as I said it, but wonder of wonders, he actually apologized and said something like "I'm just havin a bad day." Sometimes the universe is actually nice to you.

And the punch line? It turns out the robber was a white guy.

Dey took der jobs!

 

[dantheman931]

This happened the day after an armed robbery that took place across town. A customer was waiting for his service to be completed, and he was reading a newspaper. All of a sudden, from nowhere, he said "F***in *slur against Mexicans*, comin here and robbin us hard-workin Americans." (Except it came out more like "merkins." A merkin, in case you were unaware, is a pubic wig, but I digress.)

Normally I would have held my tongue, but for some reason that just hit me the wrong way. I very calmly asked him, "Would you feel any better about it if it had been a white man, sir?" I figured it was a mistake as soon as I said it, but wonder of wonders, he actually apologized and said something like "I'm just havin a bad day." Sometimes the universe is actually nice to you.

And the punch line? It turns out the robber was a white guy.

Dey took der jobs!

I know. I hate those damn merkins.

 

[catboytrades]

Anyone ever had the race card played on them? (That's when someone who isn't getting their way decides to call you racist, not because they seriously believe you're racist or even give a flying fuck if you are but because they think racial guilt is a good way to get you to do shit for them.) I've had it done to me twice: once by a Hispanic lady who accused me of stealing her keys because I don't like Mexicans (not true, and plus they were in her fucking pocket the whole time), and once by an east Indian guy who said I didn't like Indians because I refused to make a copy of his hotel key.

Okay, that last one demands some explanation. I used to work in the tire & lube joint at Wal-Mart, and one of the things we had was a machine that could copy (most) house and car keys. This guy comes in and claims he owns the hotel and wants a copy of a particular room key. Strike one. Company policy forbids it (and anyway, if he really was the owner, he should have been contracted with a locksmith for just such an emergency). So I politely refuse the sale and explain the policy, and he accuses me of being racist. Strike two. I kick him out of my line, page management, and demand that they get him out of my line. (I believe my exact words were, "Get this fucker out of my line RIGHT NOW.") Miracle of miracles, the manager (a hispanic woman, incidentally) actually stood by me on that one, and I never saw him again.

Of all the things that customers did to piss me off, I think that one pissed me off the worst. I can handle being called incompetent or whatever, but nothing makes me want to violate someone's personal safety worse than being called racist when the real issue is that the person in question is a fucking entitlement whore who's pissed off that they're not getting their way. But it was funny when it blew up in their faces; I had a black woman accuse the entire company of being racist because we couldn't do her service (the tires she wanted were the wrong size), so I went and got the black tech who had refused the service to explain it to her. Suddenly she was fine with it, and the tech and I laughed our asses off at her when she left.

Edit: If anyone wants to hear more stories about selling auto parts, let me know, I've got a million of em.

When I worked for Whirlpool as a Customer Service rep I had the race card placed on me twice.
One was by a lady who said that I was on crack and that I hate black people. My manager got on the phone and after explaining that when you touch the burners on the top of your stove when they are on and red hot... they are hot and will burn your hand... he was told that we are nothing but a bunch of fucking white people on crack and then hung up.

Second one was a lady that called in and was asking how to use her washing machine. I advised her on what she was asking and thought that would be the end of it. She then asked me what I was. I said I was a consumer support rep. She said no what nationality. Well I replied, " I am native americ-" She then cut in saying that I should get help with my drinking problem. I told the woman on the other end that I do not have a drinking problem nor do I drink. She then went on a rant on how all natives drink, beat their wives, and hate white people. When she finished I was quiet ( I honestly didn't know where the hell this came from). She then asked if I had anything to say. So I responded, " Yes some due thanks to the liquor brought over by settlers after their land was stolen from them after their tribes were slaughtered by the government I can see why someone would be angry about that. Though I know alot more caucasian people with drinking problems then native americans. As for the beating wives and such... I haven't heard anything like that since I have been alive and we have a few women on the council."

She then began to say that I hate white people and screaming that is why I wasn't helping her. She demanded a supervisor... who took the call... told her that she needed to get psychological help and hung up on her.

If your wondering... I am a Heinz 57... a true mutt. I am nearly every nationality out there... except Asian and Hispanic. I just like to say I am Native because I was born and raised on the Yakama Reservation.

 

[Ben Jamin]

I hate people like that. I used to be the guy everyone would come to if merchandise happened
to be broken and they wanted a replacment.

I got yelled at daily.

 

[catboytrades]

I used to work at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant, you know, the kind where the chefs cook your food right in front of you and do fun things like twirling their knives around and such.

Once a night, it was always guaranteed that there would be one fucktard who would ask for a burger and fries.

If you want a burger and fries, go to a Burger King or something.

Shit, who not just make it. It's prob easier to do then more of the other stuff you'd cook. Not that big of an deal. Sometimes, a man just needs his burger, and you gotta respect that.

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

 

[dantheman931]

Anyone ever had the race card played on them? (That's when someone who isn't getting their way decides to call you racist, not because they seriously believe you're racist or even give a flying fuck if you are but because they think racial guilt is a good way to get you to do shit for them.) I've had it done to me twice: once by a Hispanic lady who accused me of stealing her keys because I don't like Mexicans (not true, and plus they were in her fucking pocket the whole time), and once by an east Indian guy who said I didn't like Indians because I refused to make a copy of his hotel key.

Okay, that last one demands some explanation. I used to work in the tire & lube joint at Wal-Mart, and one of the things we had was a machine that could copy (most) house and car keys. This guy comes in and claims he owns the hotel and wants a copy of a particular room key. Strike one. Company policy forbids it (and anyway, if he really was the owner, he should have been contracted with a locksmith for just such an emergency). So I politely refuse the sale and explain the policy, and he accuses me of being racist. Strike two. I kick him out of my line, page management, and demand that they get him out of my line. (I believe my exact words were, "Get this fucker out of my line RIGHT NOW.") Miracle of miracles, the manager (a hispanic woman, incidentally) actually stood by me on that one, and I never saw him again.

Of all the things that customers did to piss me off, I think that one pissed me off the worst. I can handle being called incompetent or whatever, but nothing makes me want to violate someone's personal safety worse than being called racist when the real issue is that the person in question is a fucking entitlement whore who's pissed off that they're not getting their way. But it was funny when it blew up in their faces; I had a black woman accuse the entire company of being racist because we couldn't do her service (the tires she wanted were the wrong size), so I went and got the black tech who had refused the service to explain it to her. Suddenly she was fine with it, and the tech and I laughed our asses off at her when she left.

Edit: If anyone wants to hear more stories about selling auto parts, let me know, I've got a million of em.

When I worked for Whirlpool as a Customer Service rep I had the race card placed on me twice.
One was by a lady who said that I was on crack and that I hate black people. My manager got on the phone and after explaining that when you touch the burners on the top of your stove when they are on and red hot... they are hot and will burn your hand... he was told that we are nothing but a bunch of fucking white people on crack and then hung up.

Second one was a lady that called in and was asking how to use her washing machine. I advised her on what she was asking and thought that would be the end of it. She then asked me what I was. I said I was a consumer support rep. She said no what nationality. Well I replied, " I am native americ-" She then cut in saying that I should get help with my drinking problem. I told the woman on the other end that I do not have a drinking problem nor do I drink. She then went on a rant on how all natives drink, beat their wives, and hate white people. When she finished I was quiet ( I honestly didn't know where the hell this came from). She then asked if I had anything to say. So I responded, " Yes some due thanks to the liquor brought over by settlers after their land was stolen from them after their tribes were slaughtered by the government I can see why someone would be angry about that. Though I know alot more caucasian people with drinking problems then native americans. As for the beating wives and such... I haven't heard anything like that since I have been alive and we have a few women on the council."

She then began to say that I hate white people and screaming that is why I wasn't helping her. She demanded a supervisor... who took the call... told her that she needed to get psychological help and hung up on her.

If your wondering... I am a Heinz 57... a true mutt. I am nearly every nationality out there... except Asian and Hispanic. I just like to say I am Native because I was born and raised on the Yakama Reservation.

Good times, good times. You mean your skin color doesn't save you from third-degree burns??

 

[dantheman931]

I used to work at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant, you know, the kind where the chefs cook your food right in front of you and do fun things like twirling their knives around and such.

Once a night, it was always guaranteed that there would be one fucktard who would ask for a burger and fries.

If you want a burger and fries, go to a Burger King or something.

Shit, who not just make it. It's prob easier to do then more of the other stuff you'd cook. Not that big of an deal. Sometimes, a man just needs his burger, and you gotta respect that.

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

Precisely. I don't see a lot of hibachi restaurants keeping sesame seed buns on hand; most people are smart enough to figure out that if you go to a Japanese restaurant, you're gonna get Japanese food. Ga-ga-gasp!

 

[catboytrades]

I am always courteous to restaurant and store workers, mostly because I understand that they don't really want the job, and that it sucks to have bitchy customers. This wears thin when I meet people who are offences to Darwin but I have yet to abuse someone across a counter.

I once came close. me and a group of friends went to Dairy queen for milkshakes. it so happened that they were running a 4 for 3 sale. after we ordered our *4* milkshakes and went to the register, we were asked "would you like the sale price?" I almost told him "No, we would rather pay full price for all our shakes." in a really sarcastic tone of voice.

I once went to a McDonalds around 2am on a Saturday. In front of me is a SUV filled with gabby drunk women... how do I know they are drunk? Cause I can smell the booze from my car. They get up to the speaker box and they order their order. The lady changes her order five times and when the person on the other end asks to verify she is yelled at by the consumer. When I go up I order something quick and easy.

The lady then moves up and waits. She then waits a max of 5 min while she waits for her order. During that time she comments on how stupid people are that work fast food to how stupid the guy behind them ( me) looks in that small car ( 2004 Chevy Malibu). The lady gets her food and then starts laying into the attendant at the window. They do this for another 5 min... which at this point I start beeping at them. The stupid drunk ***** looks back at me and tells me to shut up. I lean out the window and utter the following, " Look lady if you don't want the cops to take you in right now for drunk and disorderly conduct I would recommend asking for forgiveness from that poor lady you were yelling at."

The lady in her SUV glared at me and said I had no proof that she was drunk. Which I just replied, " Look I can smell ya from here rummy." I then smiled to the attendant, " Right? You can smell it too?" The attendant just nodded and held her nose.

The woman looks at me and then starts spouting that she can talk to anyone any way she wants. I then grab my phone and start to dial. They head off. Right into a cop car.

We give our statements... they get the breathalyzer... and I got free food for a week from McDonalds.

BTW... I was calling my voicemail. I used to know the chief of police but he retired several years ago. ^_^

 

[fenrizz]

Spoiler: Hiding wall of text

I once went to a McDonalds around 2am on a Saturday. In front of me is a SUV filled with gabby drunk women... how do I know they are drunk? Cause I can smell the booze from my car. They get up to the speaker box and they order their order. The lady changes her order five times and when the person on the other end asks to verify she is yelled at by the consumer. When I go up I order something quick and easy.

The lady then moves up and waits. She then waits a max of 5 min while she waits for her order. During that time she comments on how stupid people are that work fast food to how stupid the guy behind them ( me) looks in that small car ( 2004 Chevy Malibu). The lady gets her food and then starts laying into the attendant at the window. They do this for another 5 min... which at this point I start beeping at them. The stupid drunk ***** looks back at me and tells me to shut up. I lean out the window and utter the following, " Look lady if you don't want the cops to take you in right now for drunk and disorderly conduct I would recommend asking for forgiveness from that poor lady you were yelling at."

The lady in her SUV glared at me and said I had no proof that she was drunk. Which I just replied, " Look I can smell ya from here rummy." I then smiled to the attendant, " Right? You can smell it too?" The attendant just nodded and held her nose.

The woman looks at me and then starts spouting that she can talk to anyone any way she wants. I then grab my phone and start to dial. They head off. Right into a cop car.

We give our statements... they get the breathalyzer... and I got free food for a week from McDonalds.

BTW... I was calling my voicemail. I used to know the chief of police but he retired several years ago. ^_^

Two words: Epic success!

 

[catboytrades]

I used to work at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant, you know, the kind where the chefs cook your food right in front of you and do fun things like twirling their knives around and such.

Once a night, it was always guaranteed that there would be one fucktard who would ask for a burger and fries.

If you want a burger and fries, go to a Burger King or something.

Shit, who not just make it. It's prob easier to do then more of the other stuff you'd cook. Not that big of an deal. Sometimes, a man just needs his burger, and you gotta respect that.

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

Precisely. I don't see a lot of hibachi restaurants keeping sesame seed buns on hand; most people are smart enough to figure out that if you go to a Japanese restaurant, you're gonna get Japanese food. Ga-ga-gasp!

Wait now I am confused here... lets go over this slowly...

So if I go to a Japanese Food Restaurant... I should expect... Linguine with meatballs right?
And if I go to olive garden... I should expect....a Big MAC!

Wait... no... I think I will get this... just need time.

 

[dantheman931]

I used to work at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant, you know, the kind where the chefs cook your food right in front of you and do fun things like twirling their knives around and such.

Once a night, it was always guaranteed that there would be one fucktard who would ask for a burger and fries.

If you want a burger and fries, go to a Burger King or something.

Shit, who not just make it. It's prob easier to do then more of the other stuff you'd cook. Not that big of an deal. Sometimes, a man just needs his burger, and you gotta respect that.

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

Precisely. I don't see a lot of hibachi restaurants keeping sesame seed buns on hand; most people are smart enough to figure out that if you go to a Japanese restaurant, you're gonna get Japanese food. Ga-ga-gasp!

Wait now I am confused here... lets go over this slowly...

So if I go to a Japanese Food Restaurant... I should expect... Linguine with meatballs right?
And if I go to olive garden... I should expect....a Big MAC!

Wait... no... I think I will get this... just need time.

Go slow, don't hurt yourself. Here, try this. *hands pop-up book*

 

[dantheman931]

Had a guy once who wanted a set of tires for his car. Turned out we didn't have them (that part was my fault--I sold them without checking to see if we had them, inventory count notwithstanding), so I explained the situation, apologized, and sold him another set. At first he was okay, but all of a sudden he lit up and started screaming. And I don't mean normal, everyday screaming; I'm talking epic, holy-shit-call-a-priest type screaming, the kind that could peel varnish off a coffee table from 50 paces. I apologized again, but he would have none of it, and with every second that passed, the amount of time that he claimed to have been waiting magically increased. Eventually I figured out that (a) he was never going to accept my apology, and (b) he wasn't letting anyone else ahead of him in line, and in fact was beginning to frighten some kids that happened to be standing nearby, so I called a manager. The manager told me to call 911 (one of only three times I've had to do so in my lifetime), and the customer ended up being banned from the store for life. All over a set of tires.

I guess this story wasn't that funny, but it sure as hell stuck with me. I'm always surprised at the kind of shit that people are willing to blow out of proportion. But the good news is, I never saw him again, so at least the story has a (sorta) happy ending.

 

[chronobreak]

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

I admit to never working in a Japanese restaurant in my long tenure in the business, however I did start out as a busboy for a local Chinese food restaurant, and we always had ground beef, AND people would ask for burgers. Not a bad business move to have some on hand, especially with the bar. And customers were not idiots for asking. Any great food joint is going to go above and beyond what customers expect of them, and if you ever look in the fridge or freezer of any restaurant, you're gonna see some shit that doesn't get use quite often, but it is there. Now, I wouldn't go to a hibachi restaurant "looking" for a burger, but if I didn't see anything else I liked, I might try to order one. And, if the people have it, they get my money. If they don't, they don't get squat.

Burger ain't hard to make. Probably easier then half the other things they have to make. If they got some beef, they should cook it up. And if they don't, well, that man who just wanted a burger might not be coming back. Is that a good enough reason to keep some frozen ground beef in a freezer, or is that too much, because it's cheap and lasts a long time. Always be prepared for that one customer, guy.

I mean shit, imagine if they made that guy a burger, he'd probably go tell his friends, "Hey, I went to this Japanese restaurant, I didn't see much I liked but they were nice enough to make me a burger!". That's easy publicity.

 

[dantheman931]

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

I admit to never working in a Japanese restaurant in my long tenure in the business, however I did start out as a busboy for a local Chinese food restaurant, and we always had ground beef, AND people would ask for burgers. Not a bad business move to have some on hand, especially with the bar. And customers were not idiots for asking. Any great food joint is going to go above and beyond what customers expect of them, and if you ever look in the fridge or freezer of any restaurant, you're gonna see some shit that doesn't get use quite often, but it is there. Now, I wouldn't go to a hibachi restaurant "looking" for a burger, but if I didn't see anything else I liked, I might try to order one. And, if the people have it, they get my money. If they don't, they don't get squat.

Burger ain't hard to make. Probably easier then half the other things they have to make. If they got some beef, they should cook it up. And if they don't, well, that man who just wanted a burger might not be coming back. Is that a good enough reason to keep some frozen ground beef in a freezer, or is that too much, because it's cheap and lasts a long time. Always be prepared for that one customer, guy.

I mean shit, imagine if they made that guy a burger, he'd probably go tell his friends, "Hey, I went to this Japanese restaurant, I didn't see much I liked but they were nice enough to make me a burger!". That's easy publicity.

I will concede that it's possible; I've never been to this restaurant of which you speak. However, I will say that your place must have been a giant rarity, because I have never in all my life heard of such a thing happening.

I mean think about it. Dude walks into Japanese restaurant, orders a burger. The place happens to have some ground beef kicking around. What about a bun? Or ketchup? Or pickles? None of these items are typically served with fried rice and shrimp. Why would they keep all these things on hand just on the off-chance that someone who is unfamiliar with the concept of hitting up a hamburger restaurant if they're in the mood for a hamburger wanders in off the street? Even frozen ground beef will go bad eventually, probably quicker than you'd imagine, and the cost of keeping it around (and having it take up space for ingredients that you're infinitely more likely to need) would be somewhere in between impossible and retarded. If it's featured on the menu, that's one thing, but otherwise it's like walking into a Harley dealership looking for a jet ski, and then getting pissy when they can't sell you one.