The Customer Is Always Wrong

[superbleeder12]

I work at the geek squad so I get people asking me silly things.

One time, this father and 2 kids come in. They had just purchased a laptop. The laptop wasn't getting wireless, even though the other computers and stuff got wireless. they were absolutely furious. They wanted to return it and get a full refund because it was defective. SOP states that geek squad has to check every return

I looked at it for a second, turned on the "wireless switch" and the computer popped up "wireless networks detected"

I just said, "there" and walked away. They were furious even more, they wanted to talk to the manager or whatever, blah blah blah. So Customer service got my manager and he told them that the laptop was not defective, and if they wanted to return it, they would have to pay a 15% restocking fee.

They turned and left in a huff.



I get a lot of that.

 

[Shurikens and Lightning]

I worked at Taco Del Mar at one point. (It's like Sub Way, with delicious ass mexican food instead.)
I hate people...

You sir, get a +1 in life.

That lady does seem like a psycopath. Oh and I gad terrible images after the use of the words "delicious ass" to describe food.

 

[HydraZulu]

I'm surprised this thread is still going. This is the thread that i did my first post on.

More on-topic, about Mid-February i should be getting some new material. I'll be working at the Minneapolis Pet Expo, and while nothing remarkable happened last year, we will be in a different location this time, which could well bring us a different crowd. So, if you guys can keep this thread going another month, i should have another contribution.

As a side note, i believe my first contribution is on page 3 or so. Feel free to enjoy my suffering. I do (after the fact).

EDIT: Page 12. Sorry.

EDIT 2: If you plan on replying to my post, please quote me so i get a message about it, as I don't keep track of all the threads I post on. Perhaps I should, but...

 

[birdboy]

Not a horrible customer, just, weird...
So a couple come up to me while I'm working in McDonalds and order their meal, and then, at the very end ask whether we accept American dollars.
This is in Australia...
After I said no they walk away with rather dissapointed looks on their faces, but seriously? I mean surely they must have used Australian dollars at some point, and can't have run out!

Absolutely evil customers on the other hand:

I'm out in the dining area clearing up tables and bins, and there's this huge mess on two of the tables, I'm in the middle of changing bin bags around when a group of customers come up and ask me to clear the table.

Sure thing I say, just give me a sec, I finish changing the bin bag, and go clear up the mess.

While I'm doing it, they go on about how the previous customers just left without putting their rubbish away, because of course, they would never do anything like that!
(I should point out, that the tables in question are literally right next to a bin, and an empty bin at that, one I have just changed, a bin you would have no difficulty putting rubbish into)

Guess what happens...They leave their rubbish all over the tables...AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!

 

[vid20]

Does any one else think that every single human being should be forced to do at least a single year of work in retail, just to better appreciate how horrible it can be? I mean, I find that by and large its people who work in retail already that make for better/nicer/easier to relate too customers.

Any way, I have a heap of stories but I'll unload my choicest one.

First of, I work in a Milk bar that also functions as a cafe. As far as jobs go its pretty great, good people, easy work, and by and large a wonderful atmosphere. To set the scene for the up and coming confrontation; its a Saturday afternoon, and the cricket club over the road are having their end of year awards night. They have been giving us a steady stream of drunk customers all afternoon, but we haven't had any incidents because most of them know us pretty well, and although they are drunk they are by and large nice people.

So it gets too about 5:00 PM and they are doing a late diner over the road and one of the coaches comes walking into our shop. He is all friendly and smiles as he asks us if we have any salt, I obligingly show him were we stock out salt. The conversation goes like this
Customer: Hey, do you guys stock any salt? We have just bought over $100 of fish and chips for the kids only to find we don't have any salt.
Me: Yeah we do, its just on this shelf here (I walk over to the shelf and show him it)
Customer: Hey thanks man, you know I couch your bosses son in cricket
Me: Yeah, is that salt all your after?
Customer: Yeah, but don't worry, I don't think your boss would have a problem with you just giving it to me, you know, I coach her son and all. (The salt costs $2.95)
Me: Well.. that may be the case, but I'm not allowed to give it to you for free
Customer: Yeah, but don't worry, just tell her its me. She knows me. She'll be find with it
Me: I'm sorry mate, but I don't have the authority to give away any goods for free. And no one else that is on right now does either. So even if I wanted to i wouldn't.
Customer: No seriously mate, it'll be fine. Just tell her it was me.
My mate: Well, that's all well and good, but we can't give it to you for free, we are not allowed too.
Customer: Listen, now I'm really fucking angry with Samantha*. I have worked long and hard at training her son, and she won't even let us have some fucking salt. This is disgusting.
Me: What ever, no need to swear over $2.95 worth of salt mate.
Customer: Fuck you mate. (He said that as he was leaving the shop.)

Anyway, so we giggled about it for a bit, then out boss came back and we related the incident to her. All she has said is "Right." And she went storming off over the road, now she is only like 5' tall but i tell you what, to date it is one of the scariest sights I have seen. End of the story is, she hunted down the guy and got him to write each of the staff that was on the shift a formal letter of apology for his actions. Boh-yah.

* Name changed for privacy

 

[Ctrl-Alt-Elite]

I havnt read ANY post in this topic only title... im just gonna write
Microsoft corp... Im sure everyone will agree with me

 

[Rednog]

For a while I worked as a coat checker at a banquet hall, basically my job was to take people's coats and charge them per hanger I used to hang the coats. I cannot tell you the amount of times people demand that you give them the hanger so they can put their own coat on it. But their only reason for doing so is to try and sneak two or more coats on the same hanger (which often leads to the cheap hangers breaking from the weight, especially in winter). This one lady tried to fit like 5 coats on a hanger once and it was clearly about to crack under the pressure. I told her that I was sorry and that our policy was only one coat per hanger, she insisted that it was only a single coat and she refused to open the coat when I asked her if she could prove it was only one coat. Needless to say the hanger broke and all the coats fell into the slush that was on the floor from people walking in with snow on their shoes. She demanded that I reimburse her for her coats, in which I replied "Coats? I'm sorry ma'am you told me you only had one coat, I don't see any coats. But, unfortunately I am not responsible for your coats until I physically handle the coat and give you a voucher." She complained to my manager and eventually stormed off.

Another time in the same banquet hall a guy got really hammered and when the bar refused to continue serving him he started to cause a scene. The manager called the cops and when the cops finally came the drunk makes a dash for it and runs through 2 sets of glass doors. Mind you these are incredibly thick and there was blood around. Somehow he got away. The owner demanded the people who had rented out the banquet hall for the night pay for the damages, they refused saying that they didn't know the person and our staff had let in a party crasher. They threatened to sue because their party (I think maybe a wedding?) was ruined because we didn't check the person in properly. The actually did press charges, luckily drunks don't usually take all their personal belongings as they run away, the guy ended up leaving his coat and in his pocket was his driver's license. It ended up that he was somehow related to one of the people who rented out the place and they were forced to pay for the damages and the owner countersued for a fraudulent lawsuit.

About a month later some one threw a huge stone through the glass doors, making a hole in one and cracks in another, security footage got the license plate and it ended up being the people who had to pay for the broken doors before, they got arrested and had to pay for the doors once again.

Finally, I went to pick up my girlfriend at a bestbuy and its located at the entrance of the mall where there is this huge sign in front of the mall's entrance/exit which says that all shopping carts will have their wheels locked beyond that point. This lady is pushing her cart from Target and her wheels lock as she passes through the door, needless to say she's pretty baffled as to why this is. She shoves and shoves and somewhat drags the cart outside, and eventually the cart falls over and she tries to push it from the sidewalk to the parkinglot's asphalt, whatever she had in he cart comes tumbling out and there was some sounds of glass breaking. She starts wailing and dashes into BestBuy screaming that Bestbuy's cart system broke her cart and thus her things, they informed her that it was a system for the entire mall and not just BestBuy (most likely because stores don't want to hire employees to drag entire loads of carts through a crowded mall.) She starts screaming bloody murder and runs outside kicking her things and breaking whatever is left. A mall cop walks out and demands that she stop her tantrum and she reaches for his nightstick, gets it out and takes a swing at him. He whips out the pepper spray nails her in the face, grabs back his stick and gives her a hard whack to the knees. She gets arrested and dragged off while he crap lays in the street. It was fun times....

 

[Damien the Pigeon]

I work in a gaming arcade, so yes, I encountered stupid customers and complaints every moment, of every day. I suppose I could cover some highlights, so I think I shall.

Spoiler: snip

I work as an attendant. That's not manager, nor regional manager, just attendant. It's a simple, bottom-level job. So, as I make my attendance rounds, I'm approached by a woman, furious that a machine took her tokens, yet did not give her any games. This is a frequent problem, so I ask her which machine. She walks me to a machine that has an out of order sign hanging on the screen, the same machine, which is very clearly turned off. I tell her, as non-sarcastically as I can, "Ma'am, the machine took your money because the machine is turned off."
"Well," was her instant reply, "turn it on."
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
"And whyyy not?" Oh cute, she was looking down on me at this point.
"Because it's broken, ma'am."
"Why ain't you fixed it?" Oh, beautiful vocabulary, ma'am.
"I'm afraid to say the part we need hasn't come in yet, I'll be glad to refund your tokens, though. How much did you put in the machine?"
I figured 2, since it was two per play. Pretty obvious assumption, as I slid my hand into my comp-token pocket. "Ten."
"Ten?" I ask, making sure I heard that right.
"Mmmm-hm!" She replied, gesturing about the machine, "Ya'll gonna fix it soon?"
"Yes ma'am," I said, comping her the maximum allowed 8 tokens, "as soon as the part comes in. Let me know if you have any more questions."
"'Kay." She said, leaning over to put two more tokens into the clearly broken arcade. Safe to say, I had to put tape over the coin slots before she'd stopped. Dear God, was common sense all but lost?

Another incident, another one that is very dear to my heart. We've had one machine that was nothing but a headache. Broke constantly, never did as it was supposed to, but most definitely the most popular machine. I sure as hell couldn't figure it out, but I'm just a grunt, so I couldn't very well remove it. Well, I get a knock on the office door (required to be closed when counting and changing money, especially where the safe is concerned), and I open it to find a very irate looking woman, and her small child crying into her leg. "One 'a ya'll's machines is broken."
"Okay, which one?" Please don't be the one I'm thinking...
She walked me to the monolithic yellow doom-arcade. "This one."
"Okay, what did it do?"
"Well, I pressed the prize button, and it ain't drop the prize." Figures...
"Okay, lemme try something." I tested the coin drop, and the prize sleeve, they both worked, but the prize was stuck, and wouldn't drop.
"Ma'am, it doesn't seem to be working right, please try another prize from the same bracket."
"Can ya'll make this one work?"
I didn't have the keys to open that part of the cabinet, much less the tools or the technical knowledge to fix that kinda faulty design. "No ma'am, but there is a similar (only different color) prize on this arm over here."
"She," motioning to her daughter, "ain't want that one."
"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for that, ma'am."
"Ya'll can't? What's yer name, kid?"
Oh ho, I can see where this is headed. Screw the fact that my name was pretty clearly written on my employee lanyard. "Taylor, ma'am."
"Well, Taylor, lemme talk to ya'll's manager."
Fun... "The manager isn't in, ma'am."
"Can ya'll call him?"
At home? Not just no, but hell "No ma'am. Although he will be in tomorrow morning, until then, I can refund some of the tokens you put in this machine. How many did you use?"
"Eight dollas." Dear God, the prize was a miniature slinky... And very clearly over my maximum allotted.
"I'm afraid I can't refund that much ma'am." She's already asked for your manager, think fast, skippy. "How about I refund as much as I'm allowed to, which is 8 tokens, and give you a 50 ticket or less prize from the counter (Which had larger slinkies, oddly enough)?"
"Okay." She said, got her daughter a big, colorful slinky, and left the store, all smiles.
A complaint was ready for me when I got to work the next afternoon. The hell is wrong with people?

I could go on and on, with nothing but similar instances of human stupidity. But, that's for later, when I'm feeling less tired.

Ugh, it actually hurt to read those, mostly because I have met all of those people before.

 

[Tenebrous_King]

I actually created an account here just because of this thread.
These stories are great, and oh so familiar.

I work in a Coles supermarket in AUS, I don't have much in the way of memorable customers, it's more a number of small annoyances possessed by almost every person I serve.

The number of people who press the wrong button on the EFTPOS pinpad is just staggering, they somehow confuse the blue arrow-shaped button pointing at the word "credit", with the bright red button that says "cancel".

I did have one customer that stuck in my mind.
Cust: Can I pay some of the bill in cash and some on my card?
Me: Yes that's fine.
Cust:Great, then I'll pay $80 in cash (hands me $50,$20,$10), and the rest on card.
Me:OK, the card needs to go through first.

I run through her bank card, then...

Cust:Can I withdraw some money from my account?
MeLooking at the three notes in my hand) Yes, but it would be easier to simply keep this cash and pay more on the card.
Custlooking confused) Oh no, I want to withdraw a specific amount.
MeGiving in) OK how much would you like?
Cust: $20
Me:...

I hand her the $20 note she just gave me

Me:Here you go.

It took a few seconds to sink in, but the look on her face when she realized was priceless.


Just today I had one of the newer employees ask me how long I'd been working here, when I told him I'd been here just over two years he asked how I hadn't been driven mad yet, the only answer I could give was that I was mad before I started.

 

[Haliwali]

I havnt read ANY post in this topic only title... im just gonna write
Microsoft corp... Im sure everyone will agree with me

Um... not quite what this thread is about.

 

[Beetlejooce]

Ah my Mum's boyfriend was telling me a story the other day of how he was fired as a technician. (He's french and speaks useless english so i'm not quoting)

One day he was having a bad day at work when somebody phoned up, and b

"Hello"
"Yes this is *some technical company to do with computers* how may I help?"
"Ah, well i bought a computer and it's not working"
"I see, what appears to be the problem?"
"Well I put it in my living room, and nothings happened"
"Erm.. Could you be more specific?"
"Well i put it in my living room, and pressed the on button and nothing happened"
"Hmm. And did you plug it in?"
"What?"
"Plug it in."
"No i'm not following you"
"Ah, ok. Do you have the box it came in?"
"Yes"
"Ok here's what i want you to do - take the computer, put it back in the box and send it back."
"Why?"
"Because you are clearly too FUCKING STUPID to have a computer"

And apparently the man was not to stupid to phone up and complain

 

[Klagermeister]

My brother works at a barbecue restaurant.
Note: BARBECUE RESTAURANT.
Someone walked in, and said...
"Can I get a Vegetarian meal?"

 

[Sewblon]

Looking at these makes me realize my utter hate for the rest of humanity is entirely justifiable.

Everyone is an ashole, this thread just proved it.
And everyone is cheap.

Best way to describe life:
"Don't worry life will get better when you graduate"
"Don't worry life will get better when you get your second job"
"Don't worry life will get better when you retire"
"Don't worry life will get better when you die"
"Welcome to hell"

The story I got was "Life gets better when you are in your 50s" though the person who said that drives a Porche 911 so he is probably on to something.

 

[Ridergurl10]

I worked at a car dealership and I was responsible for going over paperwork with a customer and explaining everything to them and having them sign it all. I learned that apparently nobody understands what interest is. People would finance their car (so take out a loan to pay for it) and then they would complain that they were paying more than the price of the car. I would explain that the total was what they would be paying WITH the interest added in and that if they payed early it would be less, and they would get mad that we were ripping them off by making them pay more than the original price. I never figured out how to explain to these stupid people that they were paying more because they have to pay to borrow the money! It was so annoying!! If people don't understand what a loan is they should not be allowed to get one!

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

If people don't understand what a loan is they should not be allowed to get one!

agreed

 

[Ridergurl10]

If people don't understand what a loan is they should not be allowed to get one!

agreed

Thank you! It's nice to know I'm not the only sane one out there!

 

[MaxFan]

My brother works at a barbecue restaurant.
Note: BARBECUE RESTAURANT.
Someone walked in, and said...
"Can I get a Vegetarian meal?"

What, you never had a good plate of BBQ broccoli before?

Why we need a "NO CHECKS" sign where I work:

Apparently no one has clued in the buyers of our items that people do not come into discount retailers to buy $300 comforters, ugh. So, this couple comes to check out, and I help them because my Customer Service person is on break, I see the expensive item in their cart and think to myself, "this has to be some type of fraud, people don't come here and buy that."
Turns out I was precisely right, the woman writes a check, I call it in by phone cause it's for a very large dollar amount, and they decline it. Then the man writes a check and gives me a fake ID. I mean, so bad I actually said to him, "want to try giving me a real one?" He claims that it's real, anyway, I call it in too and they decline it because his ID is fake. What a shocker. Anyway, this has wasted 20 minutes that I could have been doing something else. He wasn't even very good, he didn't sound angry that I called his ID fake (normally they think that will terrify you into accepting their word or something. Sorry, everyone's a liar, watch more House).

 

[Straitjacketeering]

When I co-managed my friends resteraunt there were people coming in drunk constantly because we refused to sell alcohol because children were allowed to come in and waitresses were under twenty one, led to a couple brawls between staff and drunk assholes that get touchy when inebriated.

 

[MaxFan]

Oh yeah, I have people come in sometimes asking where we have our wine (some of our locations sell wine), and then get angry at me when I inform them that we don't. The other day this woman said she was sure she'd purchased it from our location before. Seriously, if you don't know where you bought your alcohol I don't want to be selling it to you anyway. Glad I don't have to make that decision since we simply don't have it.

 

[Paper-Moon]

Once, I had a lady who wanted to return an electric pencil sharpener that was 'defective'
and exchange it for a new one. While I was helping her find a new one, she told me that this
was the 4rth 'defective' sharpener her and her husband had had to return in the last 2
weeks. When she finally picked one she liked, she asked me to set it up so she could test it out, so I plugged it in and found an un-sharpened pencil for her to use and then she proceeded to (I sh*t you not) STAB THE PENCIL INTO THE SHARPENER WITH A FERVOR THAT WOULD MAKE ANY HORROR MOVIE VILLAIN ENVIOUS. When she finally decided to stop raping the sharpener (and I finally stopped being frozen in shock), our conversation went something like this:

Customer: This is absolutely ridiculous! all of your sharpeners are pieces of cr*p!
Me:*takes the pencil and sticks it in the sharpener normally*
Customer:...well why is it working for you all of the sudden?
Me:....its because your jamming it in too hard and making the sharpener think its jammed
Customer:*takes the pencil and rams it in the sharpener again* now why the heck did it stop again!?
Me:....as I said before, when you stick the pencil in too far, the sharpener think its jammed and automatically ceases activity so that it doesn't damage itself.
*The next 15 minutes was comprised of me guiding her hand with mine and giving her a step-by-step tutorial to help her learn how to properly use a f*cking electric pencil sharpener*

To this day, I have nightmares about middle-aged obese women stabbing un-sharpened pencils into my eyes.

P.S.
You don't even want to know about the guy who didn't know how to use SCOTCH TAPE.