Repost from copy thread cause I'm stupid and didn't see this.
I've worked at a Subway in my student centre for a year now. Lemme tell you this...I have pretty much seen everything that makes working the Lunch shift a living hell. These people are sent by Satan themselves, and only people from Subway can experience some of these:
-I just cleaned that a minute ago! Now you spilled soda all over it!
-No, we do NOT carry Elk meat.
-It is not called "Salad", it is called "Lettuce".
-You would NOT Want it if we carried Cabbage - I seriously doubt you know how that tastes.
-If you say "Salad Dressing", I'm going to give you a really odd look since there is no such thing as "Salad Dressing".
-This is Subway - WE DO NOT CARRY BEER. The place right here has a liquor license.
-This is not a bakery, we do NOT Sell crossaint(sp) rolls, and we are not allowed to give "Fresh Baked" bread in the morning.
-We do NOT give discounts for giving you day-old-bread we're supposed to use first. Again, this is NOT A bakery.
-We do NOT sell bagels, because there are two bagel places in this building. They open way before we do. Get something there.
-We do not give Student Drinks.
-I just cleaned that!
-Turn off that cell phone please.
-PLEASE don't complain about Subway being slow when half our staff is working on a 30 foot party order or when there are only two people working the line for about 50 people and there's no sign of the customers slowing down anytime soon.
-PLEASE don't text in the middle of the line.
-Soembody is talking to you - STOP THE FREAKING TEXTING!
-We do NOT carry Ketchup.
-Because we do not carry ketchup, PLEASE don't make us go to all the trouble of toasting a foot long Ham and Cheese and then just leaving when we don't have Ketchup. You just made us waste food.
-If you're getting six foot longs, CALL AHEAD PLEASE. Don't make 40+ people wait in line.
-You do not want that bread that just came out of the 500+ Degrees oven. Seriously - you do not.
-When you just say "I'll have a meatball sub", you ALSO need to say how long you want it and on what kind of bread.
-When you say "I'll have a six inch on white", you ALSO need to say what kind of sandwich it'll be.
-We do NOT Sell hamburgers - there is a hamburger grille upstairs.
-We also are NOT allowed to sell pizzas because of how much it'd gum the line up, and because there is a pizza place right there.
-We did not carry Swiss cheese the last time you asked us yesterday, we are not going to start carrying it now.
-PUT THAT DARN CELL PHONE DOWN.
-If you say "Chipotle Mayo", then you best expect Mayonaise on it since it is NOT mayo.
-We do not carry Okra - Do you see it on the vein?
-I do not even know what a Gherkin is - do you think we carry it?
-Spinach is NOT a kind of lettuce.
-Bacon and Cheese are NOT Vegetables.
-We do not care about how much better Quiznos does it - you're still coming HERE and getting it TOASTED.
-There is nothing that annoys us more than people who cannot make up their mind.
-SPEAK LOUD AND CLEAR. If you just grunt when I ask what kind of bread you want, I am going to ask AGAIN.
-Your friend is RIGHT there - you don't need to be YELLING AT THEM because we hvae to talk over it.
-You don't HAVE to talk through your boyfriend and have him order everything - unless you suffer from Chronic Mumbling Syndrome, you can talk as well.
-PLEASE DON'T HOLD UP THE DARN LINE BECAUSE YOU ARE MAKING OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!
-There is no such thing as Bacon made from Roast Beef.
-STOP HOLDING UP THE LINE WITH YOUR TEXTING!
-I just cleaned that!
-We do not serve Fries - we have Chips.
-Please do not say "yes" when I ask if you want Chips or a drink and then say "WAIT I didn't order those!"
-a $5 foot long deal does NOT Apply to six-inches.
-PLEASE don't sing that stupid $5 foot long song.
-Be nice to the person behind the counter - we do this for #### pay and we don't wanna be here any more than you do.
-If you call me some white racial slang, I am going to ask you to leave due to disrespect. There IS such thing as racism against WHITE people.
-And the reason your $5 foot long is not $5 is because of TAX. Everybody has to pay it.
-When I say that a Chicken Bacon Ranch is no longer a $5 foot long, that does NOT mean you will still pay $5 for it. $5 for how much stuff goes on that is Grand Theft.
-You can NOT get a $5 foot long that's "Half BMT half Tuna".
-Please turn that iPod off.
-Do not get angry at us for not speaking loud enough when you're wearing $50 headphones that I bet are noise-canceling.
-Take those Earbuds OFF.
-TURN THAT CELL PHONE OFF DAMMIT.
-We do not make Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches.
-we do not carry Pumpernickel.
-We do not carry Donuts.
-If you just say "Sauce" when we ask that, we're gonna ask "What Kind?".
-There is a sign that shows all the sauces in front of your face - READ IT.
-There is a sign that lists all the foot longs that are still $5 in front of you - READ IT.
-There is also a sign that shows the "Sub of the Day" on the vein.
-And last but not least, please don't ask what kind of cheese we have when there is one of thsoe signs in front of you like all the others.
-If you don't know what something is, just say "Whatever that stuff is next to the thing I DO recognize". don't point to it since we can't see it from your point of view.
-PLEASE do NOT ask if we're still doing the $5 foot long deal when we are wearing $5 foot long TEE SHIRTS and you're standing RIGHT NEXT TO A $5 FOOT LONG BANNER THAT IS AT LEAST TWO METERS TALL!!!
-PLEASE do not ask if we're doing Breakfast sandwiches if you're standing next to a "Serving Breakfast" and you're walking in at 8:30 AM.
-When someone in a Subway uniform is eating a sandwich or coming out of the bathroom, they are NOT Slacking off from work - they are on BREAK.
-If that burned cookie is at least good enough for you to shove in your face, it's edible.
-We haven't carried Peanut Butter cookies since march - we aren't gonna carry them now especially after someone got an allergy triggered because it was processed in the same factory as a peanut butter cookie.
-IF you order 6 loaves of bread, you WILL Be charged.
-If you order a "6 inch Fresh Baked Bun", you WILL be charged for it.
-To the Children: SHUT UP. Mommy's busy since you likely can't order for yourselves.
-The end of the line starts at the end, you do NOT order at the register unless you are ordering a Party Sub for later.
-Please don't ask us to make the special kind of white-wheat-braided bread for a 30 foot party sub that you're gonna pick up within an HOUR.
-Please give us at least one day's notice before ordering a party sub.
-TURN OFF THAT CELL PHONE. I don't care if your dad just died, you can at least step out of the line for a few minutes for a call that's so important.
-And if you're holding up the line to have phone sex, then you best be going back to the end of the line since we're gonna ignore you.
-Asking if you want it toasted or if you want a copy of the receipt is a simple Yes or No question. And if you just answer with a grunt or a squeak, we'll have to ask again because that is not an option.
-We do not sell sixteen inch sandwiches.
-You seriously want to toast the Mustard? Good luck it's only gonna be about 600 degrees when you bite into it.
-Because we have Meatballs, that does NOT mean we have freaking spaghetti.
-We do not sell PEPSI products when we have COKE all over the soda fountain.
-If you don't see a kind of chips there, then that means we don't have it.
-We can NOT toast a salad. Why would you even want that in the first place?
-And no we can't stir-fry it either. Do you see an oven for that?
-We also cannot toast a wrap.
-This is SUBWAY. We do not serve, of all things, TACOS. Especially when there's a Taco Bell upstairs.
-Yes yes I know. You fought in Vietnam. Yes we know you lost your leg to Agent orange and have probably suffered extreme lung damage. Yes we know you were spat on because the idiots back then thought you actually WANTED to be drafted. You still have to pay for your food like the rest of us.
-Being in the Special Forces or being an Air Force Veteran also does not mean you get a discount.
-You may be in the ROTC, but you're still paying as much for your food as everyone else is.
-Women do NOT. GET. A BLOODY DISCOUNT.
-If you don't see an M&M cookie on display, then we likely don't have it.
-Please don't pay for a $20+ order with pennies.
-From living in an age in which pretty much every food service place has a huge sign reading, "We do not accept bills larger than a 20", you should know that by now.
-"No checks" means exactly what it says - WE DO NOT TAKE PERSONAL CHECKS.
-I just told the last 4 people that we are out of herbs and cheese bread. And no we are NOT gonna hold up the line so we can make you some fresh bread.
-You think you can do better than we are? Get back here, put on some gloves and get to work.
-I know it's 8 AM, but that's no reason to talk in mumbles and grunts like you're drunk off of your ass.
-No, our meat is not raw.
-The oven has been turned off hours ago. We are nearly closing. We are NOT going to wait an hour for the oven to warm you up and then cook you something "Fresh".
-No, you may not purchase cookie dough from us.
-We don't carry T bones. What do you think this is, a sit-down?
-There is a yellow sign that says "wet floor", and it is placed in the middle of the floor in plain view. If you fall down because you didn't see it, it is not our fault for irresponsibly mopping the floor. Nor is it the water's fault for refusing to evaporate.
