No it doesn't make you horrible as long as you are not celebrating his death then it's fine. I also wouldn't say this to people you know because they will think of you as a horrible person unless they feel the same way as you.
The death of a bully
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If I had a bully throughout school, and I found out he died, I'd go to his funeral and laugh while everyone else cried. I don't believe mourning should be required every time someone dies, and I'd rejoice at the fact that someone particularly evil died early.
A very similar thing happened to me in secondary school. One guy who lifted me up by my throat and threw me across a hallway was killed in a car accident a few weeks later.
While I would never wish any severe bodily harm and especially not death on a person who bullied me, I didn't feel a single thing when I heard that he died. I wasn't bothered at all, and I honestly think that you're perfectly normal for feeling exactly the same.
While I would never wish any severe bodily harm and especially not death on a person who bullied me, I didn't feel a single thing when I heard that he died. I wasn't bothered at all, and I honestly think that you're perfectly normal for feeling exactly the same.
gof22 said:
I've been trying to find that out myself, but have been unsuccesful so far. I'm guessing gang wars (and that's not even a joke..)
We both come from a pretty small town in Denmark, everyone knows everyone, that whole deal.
Last time I saw him, me and my then boyfriend had to leave our bar, because this guy wouldn't stop harassing us.
After graduation, it wasn't so much bullying, as just harassment, when he saw me on the street, etc. He didn't seek me out to do it, but he would always go for it when he saw me.
I really don't like the whole 'he was a good person' act they got going on at funerals. The person being buried could have been a child-murdering rapist and yet the priest will protray him as some kind of holier-than-thou saint. Frankly, if the person was a bastard in life then in no way should they be redeemed in your eyes. Save that for his loved ones.
I must admit i do not always feel sad at funerals. If a family member dies that i barely knew or was not close to, i will show a lot of indifference. I won't feel sad and i won't make an effort to be sad for the sake of others. Obviously if someone closer like my parents died, i would react far differently. But you definitely shouldn't force yourself to feel sad because that's what's "expected". As someone above me said, that's karma for you.
I must admit i do not always feel sad at funerals. If a family member dies that i barely knew or was not close to, i will show a lot of indifference. I won't feel sad and i won't make an effort to be sad for the sake of others. Obviously if someone closer like my parents died, i would react far differently. But you definitely shouldn't force yourself to feel sad because that's what's "expected". As someone above me said, that's karma for you.
Same happened to me last year. He died in a car accident, and my mother showed me the newspaper article, my response was "oh... And?" Maybe she might feel a little more sympathetic because she taught him how to ice skate for years.. I couldn't care less.
You're not alone.
You're not alone.
You hated the guy. I don't blame you for feeling indifferent to his death, and it doesn't make you a horrible person. Sure, I wouldn't go ridiculing his death (not that you do), but if someone I hated died I don't think I'd really care so much. I have no reason to.
He made your life hell, and you're probably not the only one. You are a perfectly adjusted individual if you don't mourn him. Going to his funeral to high-five his other victims from school might go a bit far, though...
I finally found something on it. He was shot in front of a "hash club", and apparently it was gang related.joschen said:
I had the exact same thing in my first year outta highschool. I'm enjoying the new lifestyle at uni, where anyone who was a jerk was doomed to drop out in first year anyway. One of the group of guys who gave me hell in highschool was found in a dumpster with a massive stab wound in his chest. Apparently he fell in with the wrong group of people, and pissed someone off.
Everyone I knew was all "omg poor guy!", meanwhile I didn't give two shits. Don't feel bad about it man, he made his choices, and they were obviously very poor ones, ESPECIALLY if he was still being a dick AFTER high school was over. Seriously, what the fuck?
Everyone I knew was all "omg poor guy!", meanwhile I didn't give two shits. Don't feel bad about it man, he made his choices, and they were obviously very poor ones, ESPECIALLY if he was still being a dick AFTER high school was over. Seriously, what the fuck?
To me, it's a similar situation to when I worked in a store, which was close to a college that had many blind students.
Now we were cool with that, we're not dicks, and wouldn't make fun of them.
However, one of them was just awful, rude, he'd play on his status, wandering thru queues to stand at the front, saying 'oh I cant see, didn't know there was a queue', that kind of thing, as well as being condescending to the staff, and demanding lots of attention.
I ought to state we got on well with some of the helpers, and found that he wasn't fully blind, and was capable of getting around town on his own, was more seeing in blurs of colour instead of clearly. (sheesh even now I'm feeling like I'm picking on him).
Of course, anyone with a disability, you feel like you should try to help, and they're better people for learning to live with the hand they were dealt, but, when you're handling a good 50 or so blind customers a week, and ONE is being a dick on a regular basis, you're not discriminating against his blindness, you're against his personality, imo.
Of course we had to be so careful, because to any outsiders, all they'll see is store staff not being sympathetic to a blind man needing help, and ohh...would he play it up if he felt he wasn't getting the attention.
But, yes, like a bully who dies, social graces seem to dictate that you can't treat a dick like he deserves, because of how it appears to outsiders. You are entirely in your rights to still hate him for making your life worse, and even be happier that he's gone for good, but you can't go public with those feelings, I think.
Just like the way we'd try to do the minimum for him, while going out of our way to help the others. (As another example, he'd travel across town, come to our store, then ask to listen to a cd to see what it was like, then he'd need one of us to lead him over to the listening post with the headphones, and after 4 years of negotiating the town, and store, he still wanted people to take him by the arm and lead him the 10 feet. Again sounds mean, but it's infuriating to do it when you feel like he's just playing it up.)
It was an unofficial rule really however, if someone came in and said 'I'm sorry, I seem to have bought this cd as a gift and my daughter doesn't like it' we'll change it, we'll suggest other music, we'll offer a refund, whatever. If however, they come in and go 'I bought this and it's SHIT, what are you fuckers going to do about it, I know my fucking rights!!' then you're gonna get the bare minimum we can possibly legally offer.
Anyways, sorry to ramble and go sort of off topic, but I felt it was sort of relevant, kind of like the comedian who said 'who says minorities can't be ignorant, irritating fucks too?' (wish I could remember who!).
Now we were cool with that, we're not dicks, and wouldn't make fun of them.
However, one of them was just awful, rude, he'd play on his status, wandering thru queues to stand at the front, saying 'oh I cant see, didn't know there was a queue', that kind of thing, as well as being condescending to the staff, and demanding lots of attention.
I ought to state we got on well with some of the helpers, and found that he wasn't fully blind, and was capable of getting around town on his own, was more seeing in blurs of colour instead of clearly. (sheesh even now I'm feeling like I'm picking on him).
Of course, anyone with a disability, you feel like you should try to help, and they're better people for learning to live with the hand they were dealt, but, when you're handling a good 50 or so blind customers a week, and ONE is being a dick on a regular basis, you're not discriminating against his blindness, you're against his personality, imo.
Of course we had to be so careful, because to any outsiders, all they'll see is store staff not being sympathetic to a blind man needing help, and ohh...would he play it up if he felt he wasn't getting the attention.
But, yes, like a bully who dies, social graces seem to dictate that you can't treat a dick like he deserves, because of how it appears to outsiders. You are entirely in your rights to still hate him for making your life worse, and even be happier that he's gone for good, but you can't go public with those feelings, I think.
Just like the way we'd try to do the minimum for him, while going out of our way to help the others. (As another example, he'd travel across town, come to our store, then ask to listen to a cd to see what it was like, then he'd need one of us to lead him over to the listening post with the headphones, and after 4 years of negotiating the town, and store, he still wanted people to take him by the arm and lead him the 10 feet. Again sounds mean, but it's infuriating to do it when you feel like he's just playing it up.)
It was an unofficial rule really however, if someone came in and said 'I'm sorry, I seem to have bought this cd as a gift and my daughter doesn't like it' we'll change it, we'll suggest other music, we'll offer a refund, whatever. If however, they come in and go 'I bought this and it's SHIT, what are you fuckers going to do about it, I know my fucking rights!!' then you're gonna get the bare minimum we can possibly legally offer.
Anyways, sorry to ramble and go sort of off topic, but I felt it was sort of relevant, kind of like the comedian who said 'who says minorities can't be ignorant, irritating fucks too?' (wish I could remember who!).
Are you a horrible person for not being sad that an asshole has died? No.Nicolefranklin said:
I'd feel the same way, probably even some glee...and if I was feeling really celebratory...I might even start believing in some cosmic justice...but probably not.
