The death of a bully

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chozo_hybrid

What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.
Jul 15, 2009
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Nah, I wouldn't worry about it.

If you were happy about it that would be another story, but you're not. You're in different, which makes you a decent person.
 

Nickolai77

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Apr 3, 2009
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Perhaps one could be saddend by the fact that (presumably) he never was a good person during his life, and never had the chance to make amends before he died. Chances are he was within the wrong circles if he was shot and killed anyway, and it kind of relates to the old addige "live by the sword, die by the sword"- violent people will attract violence onto themselves. It's not the super-natural force of karma which lead him to his death, but how he was, the choices he made in life, and luck- but by and large, he made his own destiny, and it led him to the grave.

Your right to feel nothing OP, hell even if he was still tormenting you right up till the day he died it would be permissable to feel relieved that your torment is over. And as someone said before, questioning your own feelings is a sign of your own sanity as well as personal wisdom, be glad that you possess such faculties, for i doubt your bully had either.
 

MadCat55329

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Nov 18, 2009
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This is pretty irreverent, but my lit-geek mind brings up this:

"Aujourd'hui, maman est morte. Ou peut-être hier, je ne sais pas. J'ai reçu un
télégramme de l'asile: «Mère décédée. Enterrement demain. Sentiments distingués.»
Cela ne veut rien dire. C'était peut-être hier." -Camus, L'Étranger

Just don't go shooting any Arabs because the sun is in your eyes!

In all seriousness though, while you're in shock from revelation, I would argue your first reaction is to feel nothing. If when you've had a few weeks to mill on the issue you have other feelings, then it's just as natural to deal with them then. I'll admit the deaths I have had in my life weren't really able to place themselves into any significant meaning until significantly later, sometimes months.

If ultimately you don't feel anything because his influence is something you've put behind you, that's fine, maybe even healthy. Regardless of how this ultimately turns out you can learn something about your life you might not have known. Sinon? tant pis.
 

Lullabye

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Oct 23, 2008
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Nah, you ain't an asshole for not feelin anythin for that douchebag.
Personally, I would feel happy if someone I didn't like was dead and gone. O mean, I may as well enjoy it, since I'll be joining him soon anyways.
 

AcacianLeaves

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Sep 28, 2009
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Watch the episode of Daria called "The Misery Chick". Her advice applies to your situation and also Daria is awesome. Kind of. If you're in the right mood.
 

Popadomus Ohio

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Apr 21, 2010
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you have every right to feel the way you feel. i had a similar bully at my school who made my life hell every lesson i was in with him for the entire of my years in school from age of 11 to 16. if i found out he was dead, it sounds horrible, but i'd be a bit glad that he wasn't around to hurt others. if this guy was anything like him, then you have every right to still dislike that guy, regardless of whether or not he's dead.
 

Nicolefranklin

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Jul 19, 2009
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AcacianLeaves said:
Watch the episode of Daria called "The Misery Chick". Her advice applies to your situation and also Daria is awesome. Kind of. If you're in the right mood.
Oh I had completely forgotten about that episode. Brilliant stuff, and very relevant. Yay for Daria. :)
 

joschen

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Jun 15, 2009
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Nicolefranklin said:
joschen said:
So he got shot? Well. I guess he had it coming, didn't he?
I finally found something on it. He was shot in front of a "hash club", and apparently it was gang related.
So he was a mean s.o.b that got into some shit he just wasn't cutout for. Illegal also.

No one deserves to die. But this guy almost qualified for the Darwin award.

*Almost, not funny nor stupid enough.
 

MR.Spartacus

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Jul 7, 2009
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Go right ahead and cheer. It's what I did when a person I knew killed himself in manner best described as stupid. He wrecked a motorcycle going way too fast. It skidded almost 200 feet and hit a truck.
Edit: I didn't actually "cheer" or in fact feel happy but I sure as hell didn't miss him. I'd also kind of imagined something like that happening. He'd always been a reckless individual.
 

johnman

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Oct 14, 2008
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I was never really bullied, but I can think of a similar situation I was in. A friend from my old primary school was killed in a car accidnet, I hadnt seen him for about 6/7 years. When a friend told me he had died I said, oh, thats a shame, and carried on with whatever I was doing. I felt sorry for his mother who has nothing left, but no geniuine remorse or sorrow. When sombody asked me if I was going to his funeral I repiled, "No, why should I, and why should you? We knew him all those years ago, he would of been a completely different person by now and we have become pretty much strangers to each other"
 

mad825

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Mar 28, 2010
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cONGRATZ

mine committed suicide by hanging himself.

with an extra bonus he suffered before he passed out and I got two days off school (plus two more for the weekend)
 

II2

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Mar 13, 2010
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Fuck him. Here's hoping he didn't get a quick finish.

Still carry venom for his kind, decades later.
 

Nicolefranklin

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Jul 19, 2009
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SenseOfTumour said:
To me, it's a similar situation to when I worked in a store, which was close to a college that had many blind students.

Now we were cool with that, we're not dicks, and wouldn't make fun of them.

However, one of them was just awful, rude, he'd play on his status, wandering thru queues to stand at the front, saying 'oh I cant see, didn't know there was a queue', that kind of thing, as well as being condescending to the staff, and demanding lots of attention.

I ought to state we got on well with some of the helpers, and found that he wasn't fully blind, and was capable of getting around town on his own, was more seeing in blurs of colour instead of clearly. (sheesh even now I'm feeling like I'm picking on him).

Of course, anyone with a disability, you feel like you should try to help, and they're better people for learning to live with the hand they were dealt, but, when you're handling a good 50 or so blind customers a week, and ONE is being a dick on a regular basis, you're not discriminating against his blindness, you're against his personality, imo.

Of course we had to be so careful, because to any outsiders, all they'll see is store staff not being sympathetic to a blind man needing help, and ohh...would he play it up if he felt he wasn't getting the attention.

But, yes, like a bully who dies, social graces seem to dictate that you can't treat a dick like he deserves, because of how it appears to outsiders. You are entirely in your rights to still hate him for making your life worse, and even be happier that he's gone for good, but you can't go public with those feelings, I think.

Just like the way we'd try to do the minimum for him, while going out of our way to help the others. (As another example, he'd travel across town, come to our store, then ask to listen to a cd to see what it was like, then he'd need one of us to lead him over to the listening post with the headphones, and after 4 years of negotiating the town, and store, he still wanted people to take him by the arm and lead him the 10 feet. Again sounds mean, but it's infuriating to do it when you feel like he's just playing it up.)

It was an unofficial rule really however, if someone came in and said 'I'm sorry, I seem to have bought this cd as a gift and my daughter doesn't like it' we'll change it, we'll suggest other music, we'll offer a refund, whatever. If however, they come in and go 'I bought this and it's SHIT, what are you fuckers going to do about it, I know my fucking rights!!' then you're gonna get the bare minimum we can possibly legally offer.

Anyways, sorry to ramble and go sort of off topic, but I felt it was sort of relevant, kind of like the comedian who said 'who says minorities can't be ignorant, irritating fucks too?' (wish I could remember who!).
I see what you're saying, and completely get your point. Not that I have anything to add to it, really, I just really appreciated your story. Not as in "it's okay to treat disabled people like shit", but that was never the case here anyway.
 

AcacianLeaves

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Sep 28, 2009
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Also this is not the first 'Bully' I've heard about/read about/known that met a violent death later in life. It's happened more often than coincidence would explain, almost as if assholes who push people around end up pushing someone too far at some point.
 

splatterguy734

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Nov 27, 2009
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You're not wrong for feeling nothing frankly you're not lying to yourself and everyone else by pretending to care and frankly do you think he'd have cared if you'd died?.
 

TheFacelessOne

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Feb 13, 2009
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You shouldn't feel sad. He was a dickhead. And you shouldn't feel horrible, unless, like the first reply said, you were dancing around in the streets - which is bad.
 

otterhead

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Feb 19, 2009
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I might be a little happy in this situation. I've been bullied before a little and am sure they knew what they was doing was wrong.

You're not a bad person at all.
 

splatterguy734

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Nov 27, 2009
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Avelestar said:
One of the group of guys who gave me hell in highschool was found in a dumpster with a massive stab wound in his chest. Apparently he fell in with the wrong group of people, and pissed someone off.
I knew someone like that in my secondary school and i get the feeling he'll end up the same way.