Ok, here's the spiel: If you live in America, you know we're in a recession/depression right now; jobs are hard to find, money is tight, everyone's cutting back on the luxuries, and much like the 1920's, you're trying to pinch every penny you can. So what I wanna hear, is the best worse case scenario you can give me for saving money at any expense. Out of ideas? Here are some examples:
Yes it's bad, But at least it's no so bad that you're...
Stealing toothpicks from restaurants instead of shelling out the 1.50 to buy a box of 100.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Filing down your toothpicks to get extra uses out of them.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Cutting new groves on your file with your Ginsu knives in order to re-file down toothpicks.
Taking home half-empty beers from bars or parties in order to have beers tomorrow.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Convincing your friends that they've had enough, in order to take their beers home yourself.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Distilling your own booze from rubbing alcohol, bread yeast, and Tang.
Clipping coupons for things you don't plan to buy or need.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Scanning and forging your own coupons for things you do need.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Abusing Stop & Shop's no hassle return policy.
Seriously considering growing your own herbs and vegetables to save on produce.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Contemplating going on 40 day hunger strikes and fasts, if not to prove a point, then to save on groceries.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Going vegan, to cut down on buying protein... (damn stinking vegans)
Carpooling with co-workers in order to save on gas.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
considering carpooling with the the company suck-up.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
considering sleeping with them, so you can convince them to do your laundry...
Chewing gum as oppose to smoking cigarettes.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
considering stopping drinking, to cut down on your cigarette budget.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Trying to make your own nicotine gum from ABC gum and chewing tobacco.
deciding not to go out to restaurants as often.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Raiding your roomate/significant other's fridge for leftovers.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Asking for thirds and fourths on bread at restaurants before you order.
Yes it's bad, But at least it's no so bad that you're...
Stealing toothpicks from restaurants instead of shelling out the 1.50 to buy a box of 100.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Filing down your toothpicks to get extra uses out of them.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Cutting new groves on your file with your Ginsu knives in order to re-file down toothpicks.
Taking home half-empty beers from bars or parties in order to have beers tomorrow.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Convincing your friends that they've had enough, in order to take their beers home yourself.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Distilling your own booze from rubbing alcohol, bread yeast, and Tang.
Clipping coupons for things you don't plan to buy or need.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Scanning and forging your own coupons for things you do need.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Abusing Stop & Shop's no hassle return policy.
Seriously considering growing your own herbs and vegetables to save on produce.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Contemplating going on 40 day hunger strikes and fasts, if not to prove a point, then to save on groceries.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Going vegan, to cut down on buying protein... (damn stinking vegans)
Carpooling with co-workers in order to save on gas.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
considering carpooling with the the company suck-up.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
considering sleeping with them, so you can convince them to do your laundry...
Chewing gum as oppose to smoking cigarettes.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
considering stopping drinking, to cut down on your cigarette budget.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Trying to make your own nicotine gum from ABC gum and chewing tobacco.
deciding not to go out to restaurants as often.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Raiding your roomate/significant other's fridge for leftovers.
If it is that bad, at least you're not...
Asking for thirds and fourths on bread at restaurants before you order.
