Spoilers ahead. Alot of them
So, you all know the basic setup: Post Apocolyptic Earth, destroyed by our own war machines, people eek out life in small communities avoiding the Mechs, which still run on autopilot, persuing their prime directive - Kill The Enemy. Which is all humanity in this case, as no one is left to lead them.
Our protagonists are Monkey, a gruff ubermensch scavenger who lives by his wits and by scavving ancient weapons and tech, and Tripitaka (Trip) a young technological wunderkind in a tubetop and slutty pants from a peaceful farming community. Both of them are captured by the Slavers from "Pyramid" far into the west, who utilize powerful technoligy from before the world ended, and even manufacture their own. Pyramid is mysterious, faceless, and well equipped, it's members decked out in military fatigues, Baklava's, and slave head bands because they are all slaves controlled by the neural interface (this is not a spoiler, Tripitaka uses one to control monkey and use him to help her get him)
Now don't get me wrong, this game is Excellent. It's never too difficult and highly linear, but it's fun and it doesn't wear out it's welcome, and it's small cast is impecabily voiced and has great chemisty - it's a shame Pigsy is introduced so late in the game, because when your partnership becomes a Trio and we no longer rely on the "Protect Trip from the automated turrets!" crutch of the first act, the game -really- shines. It has good set peices, and thought it does get a bit predictable later on and the bossfights can be lackluster (similar to slightly flawed masterpiece Arkham Asylum) the pacing is great and races you towards a climactic showdown you really feel like you worked for.
And then the Epilogue plays
WHAT. THE. FUCK?
Let me repeat this for emphasis. WHAT THE FUCK?
Here come the spoilers.
So, you all know the basic setup: Post Apocolyptic Earth, destroyed by our own war machines, people eek out life in small communities avoiding the Mechs, which still run on autopilot, persuing their prime directive - Kill The Enemy. Which is all humanity in this case, as no one is left to lead them.
Our protagonists are Monkey, a gruff ubermensch scavenger who lives by his wits and by scavving ancient weapons and tech, and Tripitaka (Trip) a young technological wunderkind in a tubetop and slutty pants from a peaceful farming community. Both of them are captured by the Slavers from "Pyramid" far into the west, who utilize powerful technoligy from before the world ended, and even manufacture their own. Pyramid is mysterious, faceless, and well equipped, it's members decked out in military fatigues, Baklava's, and slave head bands because they are all slaves controlled by the neural interface (this is not a spoiler, Tripitaka uses one to control monkey and use him to help her get him)
Now don't get me wrong, this game is Excellent. It's never too difficult and highly linear, but it's fun and it doesn't wear out it's welcome, and it's small cast is impecabily voiced and has great chemisty - it's a shame Pigsy is introduced so late in the game, because when your partnership becomes a Trio and we no longer rely on the "Protect Trip from the automated turrets!" crutch of the first act, the game -really- shines. It has good set peices, and thought it does get a bit predictable later on and the bossfights can be lackluster (similar to slightly flawed masterpiece Arkham Asylum) the pacing is great and races you towards a climactic showdown you really feel like you worked for.
And then the Epilogue plays
WHAT. THE. FUCK?
Let me repeat this for emphasis. WHAT THE FUCK?
Here come the spoilers.
After Tripitaka gets home to find her entire village either cripsy fried by plasma guns or enslaved, including her father who seems to have locked himself in a safe room then killed himself and left a recorded message for her, they go and meet up with cantankerous lecherous and obese mechanic Pigsy, who adds a much needed comedy element to the band and even tries to compete with Monkey for Tripitaka's affections (I don't blame her, her goddamn cleavage kept distracting me too why is she wearing a tubetop?)
In any case, after much adventuring to first repair their flying machine, then capture a giant leviathan death machine from Pyramids secret underwater Hoover Dam holding bay, they assault Pyramid in a climactic battle with their one Leviathan. The last boss fight is a little underwhelming as it's basically just Monkey platforming and then shooting it's glowing vulnerable spots, but whatever the game sells it well and like I said - remember Arkham Asylum.
After jumping, flipping, and running around the outside of my deathwalker like a jackass, shooting down energy leeches, destroying waves of mech, and destroying a giant robotic Scorpion you are presented with a problem - you have shit for shields, your main canon is broken, and there are FIVE MORE Giant Scorpions.
Pigsy says there's only one way out. Guess what it is? Thats right. Heroic Sacrifice. He throws you out, and you force Tripitaka to flee a curiously not so very far distance away as Pigsy diverts all power to the engines, turning the giant robot into a giant bomb, destroying the last of Pyramids defense systems.
Then the Epilogue plays: Seriously, turn back now if you don't dare it.
See, throughout the game you can collect glimmering "Masks" which produce glitches in Monkeys headbands, displaying short snapshots of the world pre-collapse. These usually display the pristine condition of whatever landmark your platforming acrossed, or include some creepy looking dude. I mean seriously, this guy looks like he dresses up like Pedobear- anyway, you get to Pyramid and the Creepy Fuck is on a giant screen above a wirestuffed meatpuppet banging on a console. It turns out Pyramid isn't actually an evil paramilitary group hoarding technoligy for itself and building a civilization off of the blood, sweat, and tears of helpless slaves. It's a giant Lotus Eater Machine. Pyramid forcefeeds it's slaves the idealized memories of what this man saw before the war.
Thats right. Pyramid is the fucking Matrix.
WAT?
So Creepy Mind Rapist guy is all like, see i'm totally not evil after all, I just fucking killed everyone you ever new little girl because my imaginary computer world where people screw and eat in their minds while they're actually standing around in a pitch black room flailing around like deaf blind mutes is so much better then the one you live in because mean machines come around and break your stuff every once in a while. Kind of like the legions of mean machines I have at my disposal I used to kill your family and friends or lock them in the Matrix.
So here, pedoman says, put on this mask and see how awesome the past was. At this point I am screaming at the screen, SHOOT HIM DAMNIT! SHOOT HIM NOW FJKDNHADFSIKJHASDHFIASDF!
Of course Monkey puts on the goddamn mask. And he's all like, "My God, it's Beautif-" And then he gets cut off because aside from dressing like a whore, Tripitaka is actually smart and apparently also genre savvy. She rips the cables right out of the back of that fucking meatpuppet and his blood sprays everywhere and she shuts the whole goddamn thing down. The complex goes black, people start waking up. Trip looks at Monkey and asks, "Did I do the right thing?"
THE END.
Right there.
Yeah, thats right. Heroic sacrifice, leads up to THAT.
Discuss while I try to stop eating my fingers.
In any case, after much adventuring to first repair their flying machine, then capture a giant leviathan death machine from Pyramids secret underwater Hoover Dam holding bay, they assault Pyramid in a climactic battle with their one Leviathan. The last boss fight is a little underwhelming as it's basically just Monkey platforming and then shooting it's glowing vulnerable spots, but whatever the game sells it well and like I said - remember Arkham Asylum.
After jumping, flipping, and running around the outside of my deathwalker like a jackass, shooting down energy leeches, destroying waves of mech, and destroying a giant robotic Scorpion you are presented with a problem - you have shit for shields, your main canon is broken, and there are FIVE MORE Giant Scorpions.
Pigsy says there's only one way out. Guess what it is? Thats right. Heroic Sacrifice. He throws you out, and you force Tripitaka to flee a curiously not so very far distance away as Pigsy diverts all power to the engines, turning the giant robot into a giant bomb, destroying the last of Pyramids defense systems.
Then the Epilogue plays: Seriously, turn back now if you don't dare it.
See, throughout the game you can collect glimmering "Masks" which produce glitches in Monkeys headbands, displaying short snapshots of the world pre-collapse. These usually display the pristine condition of whatever landmark your platforming acrossed, or include some creepy looking dude. I mean seriously, this guy looks like he dresses up like Pedobear- anyway, you get to Pyramid and the Creepy Fuck is on a giant screen above a wirestuffed meatpuppet banging on a console. It turns out Pyramid isn't actually an evil paramilitary group hoarding technoligy for itself and building a civilization off of the blood, sweat, and tears of helpless slaves. It's a giant Lotus Eater Machine. Pyramid forcefeeds it's slaves the idealized memories of what this man saw before the war.
Thats right. Pyramid is the fucking Matrix.
WAT?
So Creepy Mind Rapist guy is all like, see i'm totally not evil after all, I just fucking killed everyone you ever new little girl because my imaginary computer world where people screw and eat in their minds while they're actually standing around in a pitch black room flailing around like deaf blind mutes is so much better then the one you live in because mean machines come around and break your stuff every once in a while. Kind of like the legions of mean machines I have at my disposal I used to kill your family and friends or lock them in the Matrix.
So here, pedoman says, put on this mask and see how awesome the past was. At this point I am screaming at the screen, SHOOT HIM DAMNIT! SHOOT HIM NOW FJKDNHADFSIKJHASDHFIASDF!
Of course Monkey puts on the goddamn mask. And he's all like, "My God, it's Beautif-" And then he gets cut off because aside from dressing like a whore, Tripitaka is actually smart and apparently also genre savvy. She rips the cables right out of the back of that fucking meatpuppet and his blood sprays everywhere and she shuts the whole goddamn thing down. The complex goes black, people start waking up. Trip looks at Monkey and asks, "Did I do the right thing?"
THE END.
Right there.
Yeah, thats right. Heroic sacrifice, leads up to THAT.
Discuss while I try to stop eating my fingers.