The English Language

[kampori]

I've just been watching the BBC show 'QI', and this lady came up with the best idea:

We (British) should tax all the other countries that now use English as a national/main language, which nowadays unfortunately is most of the world.

I hate it, .. it's a horrible language with no subtlety or transgression, its not poetic or beautiful. It's limited and unbelievably illogical.
Yet to hell with it, it's my language.

But wait, no its not... now EVERYBODY's using it.. and I hate that even more. No offense, but I do.
Not because I'm racist and "don't want my amazing language tainted by the ruffians over the seas". Bollocks. It's just that most other languages out there are much better than English. So why use ours?! If you want to use our Language, pay us! This counts for you too America, and Canada, and Japan, and most of Europe, and like 98% of Souteast Asia.

The Japanese is what annoys me the most. I love them, but I love their country, culture & language most of all. I spend 10 years studying Japanese culture & history.. but nowadays most of the place is in English. They are replacing so many Japanese words with English.. for WHAT REASON??!?!?

Anyways, just a thought
Love & peace

 

[Pimppeter2]

Seeing as a lot of other countries use English because of America rather than England, I don't think they would feel the need pay the English.

Fun Fact: There will soon be more English Speakers in China than in America and the UK combined.

But if your idea works, being Greek I demand financial compensation for making yours based off of my language. Who knows, maybe it will cure our debt?

 

[BonsaiK]

Japanese people like the English language, they think it's "cool". Much for the same reasons Americans think Japanese is "cool". That's why English phrases turn up randomly in Japanese pop songs.

Oh good luck with the language tax. I'll send you an invoice for your misuse of the word "transgression".

 

[Curtmiester]

Hey, if you didn't want other countries speaking it, then maybe you should have thought twice about your little "road-trip" if you get my drift.
Besides, IT'S COLOUR!

 

[Mozared]

That is quite possibly the dumbest idea ive heard today.

This man speaks the truth.

It's fairly easy to learn and a good global language. If you want to tax it, sure, everyone will just revert to Spanish or Chinese. Way to go.

 

[maninahat]

If it makes you feel any better, English itself is just a jumble of a number of languages, including Greek, Latin, Germanic, Northern European etc. Plus, the UK borrows a huge number of words (like "amok" and "pyjamas") from those Eastern cultures which we once colonised with so much impunity.

And I'd argue that the English language has one of the greatest scopes for poetry. The sheer number of words and meanings, as well as its versatility, allows for a huge amount of scope.

Spoiler: as Stephen Fry explains.

 

[Robert632]

Ignoring the fact that large parts of the world, including 2 of the places the person mentioned (America and Canada) were populated by British emmigrants, thier should not be a tax on language because next they'll want to put tax on the people who use the same laws as them, even if it's laws most places would have, such as murder being against the law, or someother stupid thing to tax.

 

[fletch_talon]

The British are the reason most of the world speaks English, it'd be like charging countries for having the Union Jack on their flag.

Not to mention you should then pay tax on all the languages English has taken words or parts of words from. Am I right in thinking the French would make a decent amount of money out of it?

 

[MONSTERheart]

If it was up to me, we'd all be speaking italian. But whatever.

 

[paragon1]

I've just been watching the BBC show 'QI', and this lady came up with the best idea:

We (British) should tax all the other countries that now use English as a national/main language, which nowadays unfortunately is most of the world.

I hate it, .. it's a horrible language with no subtlety or transgression, its not poetic or beautiful. It's limited and unbelievably illogical.
Yet to hell with it, it's my language.

But wait, no its not... now EVERYBODY's using it.. and I hate that even more. No offense, but I do.
Not because I'm racist and "don't want my amazing language tainted by the ruffians over the seas". Bollocks. It's just that most other languages out there are much better than English. So why use ours?! If you want to use our Language, pay us! This counts for you too America, and Canada, and Japan, and most of Europe, and like 98% of Souteast Asia.

The Japanese is what annoys me the most. I love them, but I love their country, culture & language most of all. I spend 10 years studying Japanese culture & history.. but nowadays most of the place is in English. They are replacing so many Japanese words with English.. for WHAT REASON??!?!?

Anyways, just a thought
Love & peace

What standard are you using to define how "good" a language is? And how can you say that English lacks subtlety? One of the biggest obstacles to learning English is that there are so many damn ways to say the same thing.

 

[j0frenzy]

Sure, but every English speaker needs to pay the Germans, Greek, Italians(Romans) and French for providing the origins of the language, since you are really using a mixture of their languages.

 

[AvsJoe]

English is the international business and Internet language. For that reason, I really don't believe it should be arbitrarily taxed. Oh wait, this thread isn't serious is it? Please tell me that the OP is joking!

 

[Iwata]

We (British) should tax all the other countries that now use English as a national/main language, which nowadays unfortunately is most of the world.

Uhh... that's a joke, right? I mean, here we speak portuguese. I speak english with my girfriend because, you know, she's australian.

When I have to speak to someone abroad I usually speak spanish, english or french.

Even in International Relations the official language is french.

So where exactly is that coming from?

 

[A Weary Exile]

Fun Fact: There will soon be more English Speakers in China than in America and the UK combined.

Darn, me no even speak English too goodly. Wells, best is to learn Chineses.

OP: I don't know why everyone is trying to learn english, if anything we (And by 'we' I mean the US) should all be trying to learn Chinese.

 

[ottenni]

Yeah you have a point about the English language making no sense. Why do we have silent letters for example? WHY!!!

But then again, listen to Stephen Fry talk...

 

[Mother Yeti]

It's just that most other languages out there are much better than English.

What does this even mean?

 

[dududf]

It's just that most other languages out there are much better than English.

What does this even mean?

It means nothing, as we have now entered the Twilight zone.
________________

Taxing another nation for using a language that no one OWNS is silly, and it'll never be done anyways as the other nations who speak it would have to agree.

 

[Leodiensian]

.. it's a horrible language with no subtlety or transgression, its not poetic or beautiful. It's limited and unbelievably illogical.

WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING

Are you really trying to claim that writers like Shakespeare, Chaucer, Eliot, Wordsworth or Blake were just grunting? Not poetic or beautiful? GET OFF MY INTERNET.

I will admit, as a student of both literature and linguistics, that you do indeed have a point that it is illogical in places. Sometimes it seems there are more exceptions to rule than rules. This is why it is one of the most difficult languages to learn. This is a product of its history and its remarkable flexibility.

However, the rest of your accusations here are purely bogus. There are multiple industries that THRIVE on the fact that English is a subtle language to be used with precision (advertising, marketing, public relations, to say nothing of creative writing etc.) The varied and subtle meanings between words in English is also one of the reasons it's so difficult to learn English. So you can't really say it's subtle when someone can request to be called "follically challenged" instead of "bald".

Limited? Then when can I go down to a bookshop and pick up English-language books on subjects as varied from classical philosophy to quantum dynamics? Why can we describe literally anything we can conceive of, in English? There is no such thing as a limited language, English or otherwise. Language is the most versatile and flexibile tool we have, limited only by the scope of the individual users imagination.

Yeah you have a point about the English language making no sense. Why do we have silent letters for example? WHY!!!

We didn't always have silent letters. Middle English, the language in which Chaucer wrote during the late 14th Century, had no silent letters. The word "knight" would not have been pronounced /nite/, as we speakers of Modern English say but /kuh-nig-hut/.

Why did we drop them? Because spoken English is much more flexible than written English. Letters are more "solid" than sounds. As accents changed and certain pronunciations became the norm, the writing form varied relatively little in comparison (it DID vary, just not quite as much).

 

[Incompl te]

I would find that incredibly funny, but then wouldn't that also be the case for other languages? No one would want to speak foreign languages at all.

How do you want me to send the $6.50 I owe you for typing this out?

[sub]Not trying to flame, attempting a little joke :][/sub]