"Seriously Xandus, If I wanted him to know about the science behind making health potions, i'd just get that shroom addict ***** witch from A Link to the Past to come here and do it." Said Link, who then slapped Xandus again.
"Ah! Alright fuck! Geez! I get it!" Said Xandus.
Link dropped Xandus on the gground and returned to his comrades.
"You guys alright?" Said Link.
"Yeah. We're good said Ram."
"I don't know about me, my new arm feels weird, and did I always have 3 pinkies?" Said Lelouch.
"No... Let me check the warning label on this potion." Said Link who then picked up the potion and read the back out loud.
"Side effects may include, Sneezing, coughing, oozing, burning, rashes, bursitis, (So that's what's wrong with my left big toe...) loss of appitite, nausea, dryness of the mouth, diabeetus, visions you would only see elsewhere if you were on acid, and extra fingers. Oh, that's why." Said Link.
"WELL WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!" Said Lelouch.
"One of two options, I can cut them off right now," Said Link who then drew his sword, "Or Xandus and his super heated lightsabers can just turn them to ash. You pick." Said Link.
"DAMMIT. He's like a ninja!" Sho said.
"How will we ever escape these chains!?" Eric whined.
"I HAVE AN IDEA..." Sho muttered.
SECONDS LATER...
"What did killing the cast of "That 70's Show" help with!?" Maddawg asked.
"In retrospect, this wasn't the best idea... Now we need to drag their bodies everywhere..." Sho muttered
"I hate you all so much...." Grimm muttered as Sho began to strangle him with the chains.
"ARGH! I say we get back to the ship!" Sky proclaimed
"Why?" Sho began. "It exploded, remember?"
"He's right... We need to find another mode of transportation..." Maddawg mumbled.
"But where can we find one of those in the 70's!?" Grimm asked gasping for air
"I have a plan..." Sho said. "Let's get Austin Power's time machine car! We could go back in time and fuck around with history if we did!"
"OH jesus Nip again?! You have got to be kidding me!" yelled a big voice which belonged to a rater small being, a being with a rather odd look about him and a bat in his hand, "I know what that shit does to your mind, you should not be flying!"
To whom he was talking to was a cat, a white cat who happened to be flying a modified version of a Pelican [http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Dropship_77-Troop_Carrier] called a Purrican (a play on words that was thought to be witty). This cat was rather special because he was wearing a helmet that is very similar to the one that belonged to the one and only Master Chief. The origin of the helmet is unknown and not discussed, that is all.
"I am fine! My fine is perfectly mind!" yelled Master Kitty, head wavering from side to side an seeing an odd array of colours in front of his face, "You seen mah skillz, the only effectz of teh nipz is I talks in teh funniez way. I juss need to stay away from Maddawg and Nip focus's my mind and reflexes!"
Irony. Its an odd thing isn't it? If you were to define irony with a situation, the one Master Kitty was about to embark on was about as perfect a situation as you can think of. With his eyes turned away from the sky, Master Kitty embarked into a rapid descent into a poorly placed Amish town. And within that town, the Purrican (its really not a very witty name) collided with a poorly placed house. Within that house, was the most poorly placed group of adventurers you could think of, one of which was Maddawg. With a loud crash of Purrican vs house and an even louder crash of irony, the spot where the house once stood merely held an odd group of beings who were wondering how in the world it was that they survived the crash.
All of a suddenly, a man jumped out of the fountain near to where the goodies were. The man was wearing a frilly blue suit and a grey mask that obscured half of his face, and held in his hands a pair of swords with a colourful spirally pattern around them, giving the effect of a deadly candy-cane.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" he cried in a russian-sounding accent, addressing our heroes. "We are tonight's entertainment!" The flamboyantly-dressed russian twirled his weapons, then pointed the one in his left hand at Ram. He twirled it like a magic wand, and a pidgeon flew out of the end. It fluttered towards Ram, and when it got close enough, it exploded, causing the goat to catch fire. The russian bowed. "Now, for my next trick, I shall require an assistant! Now, let me see..." He browsed the crowd of heroes, before coming across one he liked the look of.
"You!" He cried, indicating towards Sam. "Come join me on the stage!"
"Me!?" Sam asked, a look of disbelief on his face. "Oh, wow! Awesome!" He ran over to the fountain, turned back to face the audience and grinned.
"What is your name, boy?" The magician asked.
"Sam! Sam G!" Sam replied.
"Ah, a fine name! You have your parents to thank for that!" the odd russian declared. "Now, if you'd be so kind, step into this box!" He waved his hands, and a Sam-sized box appeared in front of him. Sam cheerfully obliged. Quick as a flash, the frilly man conjured a grenade out of no-where, tossed it into the box, slammed the door shut and fastened the shutters, before backing away to a safe distance.
"Alakazam, mother fucker," He muttered, before the grenade exploded. The doors of the box swung open, revealing... nothing. Sam had vanished entirely.
"Now, for my next trick," Sam cried, bursting out of the ground behind the evil magician and slamming an elbow into his back. "I'll turn this bastard into a corpse!" The audience cheered, and Sam and the magician bowed obligingly.
It's official. Harvey Moiseiwitsch Volodarskii [http://nomoreheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Harvey_Moiseiwitsch_Volodarskii] is the greatest boss in a video game ever.
"Arrrgh! A kitty!" Cap'n Sky squealed in shock, throwing Grimm at the cat in the helmet. Unfortunately her panic made her miss, and Grimm went headfirst into the other person holding a bat.
"Oh noez! Ma purrican is teh deadzorz!" Master kitty yelled, mourning over the small dent in his ship.
Nikolaz stood in a green forest watching paint on a tree dry. He wondered for a while why he had to paint the tree. But then it came to mind.. He had not painted the tree. IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE!. He looked behind him and spotted a shadow. "Oh no!" Nikolaz yelled at the top of his lungs. He drew his sword at the shadow but then he saw that it was his own and he calmed down. But he had to find the evil painter and make him pay. So thats when he set out to find the man who painted on a tree, a noble quest humbled only by the killing of dragons.
The heroes surrounded Harvey and knocked him over, then started kicking him.
"Curses, it seems that I am outnumbered!" the magician cried, spitting out teeth.
"Not for long!" a gravelly voice cried. Rag turned around just in time for a foot to slam into his face. The owner of the foot dropped to the ground, reached onto his back and drew his beam-cleaver. "The evil cavalry has arrived!"
"Indeed!" a second voice quipped. Phil turned around to face a man dressed like a cowboy pointing two revolvers at him. "We couldn't just leave a fellow assassin to perish!"
"Of course not!" cried a young woman in a frilly pink dress. The woman pointed the wooden bat she was holding at Lelouch, then dashed towards him and started clobbering the life out of him. Link rushed over to aid his friend, but had to stop and lean over backwards in order to avoid a hail of bullets. He traced the source of the shots back to the nipples of a man dressed like a superhero. The man made a hadouken pose with his hands, then thrusted them at Link. "DESTROY SPARK!!!" A bolt of lightning flew out of his hands and struck the young man in green, knocking him off his feet.
Phil spun around, looking for more assailants, and found one. A man, holding an awesome revolver in one hand and a huge sword in the other, pointed his gun and opened fire, making Phil dive for cover behind a baby's push-chair.
"Now tell me, you nasty little boys," Harvey Volodarskii cried, rising to his feet and pointing both weapons at Sam. "Do you really think you can handle all of us!?"
For those who don't know, these new foes are, in order of appearance, Death Metal [http://nomoreheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Death_Metal], Dr. Peace [http://nomoreheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Dr._Peace], Bad Girl [http://nomoreheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Bad_Girl], Destroyman [http://nomoreheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Destroyman] and Helter Skelter [http://nomoreheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Helter-Skelter]. Also, Go play No More Heroes.
"Oh Boy! A fight!" Phil said, running from behind cover, with armshields bare. He began to charge headfirst towards the guy with the awesome revolver, but quickly found himself halted by the looks of the Bad Girl.
"Hi there. Come here often?" He asks suavely, gliding up to her.
Master Kitty giggled when he saw Grimm, after Daye had gone to town to Grimm's head with a bat, MK picked him up and hugged him,
"Grimmy boy, where've you been man? I haven't beatenz your assess since long times agoz!" he giggled as he threw Grimm at Maddawg, "I cannn belif found you guyz, isnt that teh craziest thing evar?"
"Yea, it is... Odd to say the least..." Maddawg mumbled.
"We're past the middle of nowhere..." Sho continued.
"Yea, well I flew here on a purrican, THAT SOMEONE BROKE!" MK said glaring at Sky.
"ARGH! It was Grimm!" Sky said.
"Oh was it now?" MK said cracking his knuckles and walking toward's Grimm.
"*****..." Grimm mumbled at Sky.
ONE ASSKICKING LATER.
"Alright, well... Now we have another person and a broken ship. We're not exactly moving forward..." Sho mumbled.
"Stop being so negative!" MK said. "We need to look on the bright side! For instance, somehow you all survived the crash!"
"Good point." Sho replied. "But the problem still remains. What are we going to do?"
Not a good post, but I'm pissed as hell about one of my classes so I didn't put too much effort into this.
Link returned to his feet to face the strange man with lightning powers.
"YOU SON OF A *****! THAT TOOK 3 HEARTS OUT OF ME!"
Link whipped his sword out of it's sheathe and proceeded to assault the man with sword strikes.
"Well we could see what the puppet guy on the television wants." Said Maddawg as he turned back to the TV which was surprisingly intact. (they just don't make them like they use too)
Moments later they are off on their quest. The puppet had tasked them to destroy the Nixon administration.
Moments later! At a Republican pep rally
"My fellow Amish-Americans! I will tell you right now, I did not break into the watergate hotel. I do not know why I am being suspected for-" Said Richard Nixon as he stood in front of a podium with a large crowd of clapping bystanders.
"Alright, let's get this over with." Said Master Kitty as he took out his sniper rifle.
"Wait, don't you think it's a little messed up to kill someone just because a puppet told you?" asked Sho.
"Why not, he killed Kennedy! Don't you read your conspiracy books! You make me sick!"
The necromancer stood over the corpse of the thread. He raised his hand and began shaking the staff in his other while mumbling the secret incantations.
OT: Ya..ya I know, it's a bit of a disapointing post, but I didn't know what else to put >_>
(Nonsense, boy! Once we went almost two weeks without a single post, and that was about sixty pages back! I remember, because Livingness the Youth was still alive at that point... Ah, Livingness the Youth...)
(Nonsense, boy! Once we went almost two weeks without a single post, and that was about sixty pages back! I remember, because Livingness the Youth was still alive at that point... Ah, Livingness the Youth...)
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
