"Uh... Apparently YOU do retard." Said Link.
"WHAT?! How dare you insult Richard! King of Malice! Prince of Chaos! Master fo Fluffy tutus!" Said Richard.
"I really don't need to, you do that yourself... Now," Link drew his sword. "EN GARDE!" Link charged at Richard.
Link flew into a rage.
"YOU SON OF A *****!" Link pulled out some Rare chu Jelly and drank it. His wounds all healed and he grew twice as powerful. He ran at Richard.
"Oh? Back for more?" Rrichard threw up an ice shield as Link came down on him with his sword, but the effects of the jelly worked very well, and Link managed to cut through the shield and give Richard a pretty good cut on the arm.
Well, I had a grand (although big) post set up for my return, but then it got all lost when the Google popped over. So I'll take that as God's cue that "THOU SHALT NOT MEGA-POST."
Around the world (and the realms in-between), heroes of many different races and powers have been stumbling upon the same odd, yet powerful message. It spoke through all languages and cultures, speaking to the truth that is held in all heroes.
These heroes kept finding a bright pink letter which appeared to be made entirely out of cute stickers and glitter. It read:
[HEADING=2]Are You Looking For Adventure and Glory? Do You Feel Compassion For All Life? Desire Recognition From Your Friends and Family? Want To Be Part of A Group of Lovable ThugsMercanariesCold Blooded Mur People? Love Freedom, Truth, and Puppies? Do You like to Pet Kittens? THEN COME TO THE GRAND ASSEMBLY OF HEROES! At Joe's Bar. Cookies and Juice Provided.
Hearts and Kisses, Ramthundar.[/HEADING]
Meanwhile, At Joe's Bar...
A lone goat was sitting at the front of a massive dinning table, various balloons and garlands hung around in a desperate attempt to create festivity.
"....Shit, did I put the right city on that flier?"
Also:
[HEADING=1]5000+ POSTS![/HEADING] This thing is just too good to quit, eh? Good job on keeping it that way, folks.
I think that's for the heroes also Sam I infected GlaDos with a Virus
CybeRyan now used his transforming power
"Inferno Terrorize with that he became Inferno
[spoiler/][img/]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1a/Csinfernoii.jpg [/img][/spoiler]
"Inferno ready to serve the royalty" he said saluting the leader of the Villains (Maddawg?)
<spoiler=A Musical Placehold><youtube=JnczksTB4us>
And Ram, don't give me no False Prophet shit 'bout no Mega-Posts. XD
"Pour me a scotch, Joe. In fact, pour me a triple. My old man's been pestering me a lot lately." The brown furry lump at the bar stool laid a couple silver pieces on the bartop with its leathery palm. The twin katana on its back glowed a dull white and a dull red, while the kusari-gama they hung from (apparently by magic; no leather straps or sheaths were visibleSome have suggested that this lack of retaining mechanisms is made possible by his...wait for it...animal magnetism. XD) glowed a gentle electric blue.
Ram froze. Slowly, Thor's avatar turned his head down the bar to look at the fur-laden stool. His nostrils flared and caught a whiff of monkey. "R...Rag? That you?"
"So 'tis. I caught this letter on the wind." Flashing a pink card, bedecked in stickers and glitter, the simian sentinel turned his head to the caprine crusader. Looking at the card, he quipped "Crossing "cold-blooded group of murderers" out wasn't very genuine, old friend."
Ram blinked. "Look, I know that, and you know that, but no one else needs to know that. Oh, and WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN???? You just kind of...disappeared for ages! So much shit has gone down since you left!"
"Dude. I'm a fuckin' NINJA. I have shit to do occasionally, shit that involves my direct superiors telling me what to do. I might seem powerful to you guys, but I'm only third tier as far as the ninja community is concerned." Ragnorak the Ninja Monkey tossed back his triple scotch and looked at Ramthundar the Avatar of Thor. "I've got some more free time, though. So what say we party it up? We got some catching up to do."
The goat looked at the monkey. "You payin'?"
"Hell yeah, son. Perks of being a vacationing ninja include some crazy ass fundage from old missions." The ninja raised his glass to be refilled. "You down for painting the town red?"
The ram drained his drink. "Let's kick it. Soon as some more people show up, that is."
The door to the bar was vaporized as a shimmering being appeared. causing the light to be brighter then the sun itself. but as the being came closer to Ramthundar and Ragnorak, the beings luster became duller, until he was normal. Ram and Rag looked up at him as they sat down. Ragnorak reached for his swords, but Ram put his hoof out to stop him. Ram looked into the eyes of the man and saw him for who he truely was. His voice trembled as he spoke...
"...Laz0r?...."
The man nodded his head.
"i thought you were dead? i thought you were a dog? what the hell happened?"
Ragnorak looked at Ramthundar as if he'd gone insane. He grabbed his swords and lunged at the man. any normal person would of been mutilated, but Laz0r melted into the floor, before appearing behind Ragnorak, and in one fell swoop, pushed a lazor syringe into his neck, calming him down and slowing his reflexes immensely.
"What happened to you? your human." Ram spoke. still shaken.
"No. im more." He said. "My new name is Pacentco. or Paco for short. i did die. i made a deal with God. he said it was a mess up of events that caused my untimely death. he said he'd bring me back. bigger, stronger, faster. more powerful. he made me more then human. he made me superhuman.these are protective glasses. not for me. for everyone else. if anyone were to stare into my eyes. they'd be paralyzed. my pupils contain all the pain, hurt,disease,and everything else you can get from eating at tacobell with your fiance." he said as he pulled a bag of tacobell out of his pocket.
"but doesnt that cause everything in your eyes?" Ram questioned.
"its still fucking delicious." Paco said before taking a seat at the barstool.
"i only take shape if im moving or talking. it helps with stealth. my mind can not be driven by anyone else. no peer pressure. no influences. just me." He told Ram before he handed him a volcano taco. he also touched Ragnorak back into his original state before handing him a 5-layer burrito to make up for it.
one. long post i know
Two: i did that so if im gone for like. ok say i dont log on for like a week or so. so people cant move me around and i can teleport to the direct location of like the last post without having to read what has happened. so dont move me with the group unless i have posted in the last day or so. got that?
Ragnorak rubbed the spot where the he got stuck with the needle, glaring at Paco. He knew he should of just gone with the single scotch. Now he had embarrassed himself by the actions of a former cat/dog!
Reaching for his katana, he thought maybe just a little tussle, say, using 1.5% of his power, should set the mutt straight...
Rag stopped when he felt the gentle hove of his friend on his shoulder. He quickly started again when it turned to ineffectual groping.
"Dear God Ram, are you drunk already?"
"HEY! I'sh take free drinks very sheriouchly." Ram slurred, taking a swig of his 13th mead.
"Now you two, SHTOP! I can already cchhhee what's a' happaning. Both o' you'ch wanna be dah 'Ultimate Power' in'a thish group, and you'll keep dick-shlappin each other to show who's biggah!"
Ram paused his rant to take his 17 swig. "I ***** you oughta remind ye'shelfs of dah lasshht man that wash shinging his dick round, all willy-nilly."
The two silently crossed themselves, Rag involuntarily reaching for his tail. "He's still in Banished, right?"
When he was given a nod (which quickly turned into a massive up-chuck) Rag took a bite of his burrito, just to be friendly. "....you know these things are illegal in at least 3 realities? Including this one?"
"It accents the flavor." Paco happily chirped while taking a huge bite of his flamethrower taco.
To Xandus and Anyone else: If you are a hero (or wish to be one) then simply head to Joe's bar for whatever reason. If you don't with to join (or not join at this time), continue with what you were doing. We'll get to you soon enough. >
Also, I was just reading some of the first posts, and god was that fun. Wonder why....OH! Right, Random Stuff!
While Ram was sitting himself up again, he reached for his 24th mug o' mead. It was quickly taken by a white-gloved hand. Looking up, he saw French man, beret and all, take a swig of his sweet, sweet mead, before smashing it and giving Ram a look.
Link was in the middle of getting his skeleton ripped otu by an evil warlock when he felt the uncontrolable urge to teleport to Joe's Bar. He Richard off. "Midna! Let's go to Joe's bar!" "Alright Link..." Link turned into a wolf and they both teleported to Joe's Bar and saw Ram about to fight a French man. "RAM! Where did you go off to man?!" Link ran to give Ram a hug.
"No my friend, it's been Link for more than 20 years. I'm just trying to do my current quest of looking for the shards of the Mirror of Twilight, right now i'm looking for number 3, wanna join me once this Frenh pussy is dead and the part is over?" Said Link returning the hug by lifting Ram off the ground.
I'm completely lost >_> Nice to see Ram and Rag back though.
Maddawg entered the halls of Nexus by himself, not sure about what the heck just happened. He walked by his secratary. "Becky, cancal my appointments today will you."
"But sir, you were suppose to meet with the 34th wave and lead them into battle!"
"I SAID CANCEL IT BECKY!"
[HEADING=2] Miles away![/HEADING]
"WOO! WAVE 32!" Said Baird as he crsuhed the head of a Locust grub under his boot.
"Alright, good job men." Said Hoffmen as he distrubted the points based on total kills.
"YO! BRING THEM ON SUCKA! THIS MY KIND-"
"Will you shut-up Gus!?" yelled Marcus
"MARRRIIIIAAA!!!!!!"
"Oh god, not again Dom." said Hoffman.
"Ummm....where exactly are the locust?" Said Baird as he peeked down his sniper rifle toward the spawn points.
[HEADING=2] BACK AT NEXUS![/HEADING]
The phone rang on Maddawg's desk and the sound of his top general rang over the intercom of the phone. "SIR! THE COGS ARE RETREATING!"
"Oh, did they give up?" Asked Maddawg.
"NO! THEY WENT TO GO PLAY THE HALO: REACH BETA!"
"Perfect."
So...ya. All villains, report to nexus I guess >_>
Iji Kataiser stepped into Joe's Bar and placed her Nanogun by the door. No one else could use it anyway.
After the events at the research center and taking her brother Dan into the care of some survivors, she locked out many of her weapons, leaving her with only a shotgun and a reflector. No longer would she have to hurt people anymore. Unless she were to protect someone.
The people inside the bar gave her a weird look as she walked towards the bartender and asked for the lightest thing he had. She only came along because of the offer for heroes and felt that buying a drink would be polite. She saw a man in a green clothes speaking to a ram about a mirror of some sort. Feeling alone she joined them.
Link notied the young woman walking towards him and Ram. Being polite, he smiled.
"Hello. I'm Link, no surname, And you are?" Said Link extending a hand towards her.
"Iji, Iji Kataiser." She shook his hand. "It was rough getting to this place from the blown up lab I left behind. Earth is not an extremely kind place to be at the moment."
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