The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Roamin11]

The Shrike stood confused, looking around at all the Rancor babies.

"I'M SO CONFUSED I'M ABOUT TO PUNCH A BABY!!!" Said the Shrike brandishing his fist as a young Rancor leapt at him "Convenient!" He chuckled as he punched it across the room where it hit the wall and that is where it turned into a bloody paste.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

"You'd think they wouldn't hit babies. Being heroes and all." Said Maddawg as he and the others munched his Popcorn.

"Ah well, the Mother is gonna be pissed when he finds them." Said Sho, as the large Rancor began to break down the wall to get to her children.

Meanwhile, in the Dungeon.

"Is that the best ya got!? Look at this Cell! There is an actual toilet in here! Wheres my poop bucket?! WHERE IS IT!" Shouted Sam from behind his locked bars. As Horrible and Freeman watched him. "

"Ugh, what is he doing?" Asked Horrible to Freeman, who signed his response.

" He doesn't think he's being treated harsh enough."

"O-kaaaay...Why isn't he wearing pants though?"

"He took them off and he doesn't want to put them back on." Freeman responded, closing his eyes and tilting it away from the Cell as Sam bent over to pick up the toilet paper.

"HOLY FUCK! WHY IS THERE TOILET PAPER IN HERE!? DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW HOW TO BE EVIL!?"

 

[Roamin11]

The Shrike now fought off the baby Rancor's at a feverish pace, trying to eliminate most of the brood before the mother finished smashing through the wall. That was when he saw the corpses of the would be adversaries for the cancelled ring conflict, he went into fast time and let the battle field around him freeze solid.

Here we are!

The Shrike let regular time begin to flow once more and he stood there with his complete ring.

I don't know what this will do for me, but oh well future plot development

He looked around and got tired of the fight and transformed into his spiky form again.

"I got the momma don't you worry" The Shrike ran forward and went into a slide between the momma Rancor's legs, then proceeded to leap up the Rancor's rectum. From there it becomes a lil graphic as the Shrike climbs his way through the Rancors body, clawing and hacking all the way through.

A couple minutes later the Shrike climbs out of the Rancor's mouth, it had died seconds before do to all its organs becoming liquid and/or confetti.

The baby Rancors all ran.

"Whats with them?" Said the Shrike as he walked towards the other heroes.

"Its yo stink!" coughed Deadpool and Meiling as the Shrike stood there, reeking like a skunk carcass, stuffed in a gym sock, shat out by elephant.

"Onward we go then!" Said the Shrike oblivious to his horrible odour.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

"Oh god he stinks worse than that country music I sung to finish off the German douche named Black Swan! The Alternative rock was a bit better though." Deadpool commented on Shrike's odor.

"Oh, you must be just jealous!" Shrike shot back at Deadpool.

"...But, I'm Deadpool. I have nothing to be jealous about. Except that everyone has a prettier face than me. Even Thor. But it's alright, cause Thor's cool. He's so strong, and muscular, and pretty."

...

"Did I just say that out loud?"

"Yeah, yeah you did Deadpool." Meiling said passing him and following Strike.

"Wha- but it's not like I'm gay or anything! I swear! I think about soapy nubile young women have pillow fights 9 out of ten times! The other 1 time I think about Cable, and how he used those tentacles to-" He stopped himself immediately, "OKAY! I can't help it! I might be bisexual! A depraved one at that, but...Oh? What's that Shrike? You want me to have a beer with you and crack some most likely dirty jokes? SURE THING BUDDY!" He then dashed after Shrike.

 

[Roamin11]

The Shrike had morphed back into his human form; the smell still clung to him slightly.

"We gotta be still in the Villain?s lair for where else would there be a freakin Rancor?" he groaned shaking off some Rancor entrails off his shoes. Hours later and one random shower scene later:

"I think the boss is through this wall... Well at least my boss" he mumbled to him self. "Everybody stand back"

With that the Shrike placed the palm of his hand against the stone wall and fired up his repulsor beam, it slowly began to melt the stone work as the Shrike pried it away.

"Yep this is the wall alright!" said the Shrike slowly reaching through the crumbling stone work.

Meanwhile on the other side of the wall:

"Seriously a complimentary mint on the pillow!?! Is this a evil lair or a 4 star hotel?!?" Sam complained, slowly become red in the face.

"Don't you mean a five star?" Asked Dr. Horrible

"Psshh no your service is awful I'm being generous when I say the 4 stars, like COME ON!" as he said that smoke began to fill the cell, and bed that was leaned up against the wall had caught flames. As the smoke surrounded Sam his voice became muffled and Doctor Horrible and Freeman lost sight of him. Once the smoke had cleared minutes later they saw a large hole in the back of the cell and Sam had escaped.

Meanwhile in the tunnels:

"BOSS I'M SO GLAD YOUR SAFE!!!" Said the Shrike while he was on all fours, practically in tears of joy.

"Oh believe me from what I read about Ryan?s training camp that was more villainous than that lair." Mumbled Sam putting on a pair of trousers.

"Soooo" Said the Shrike getting back up standing awkwardly close to Sam. "What now... Boss??"

 

[Sgt_Jakeman214]

Why? Why are we doing this... There is no point, nor purpose to this. Those rings and Ryan's training camp came out of nowhere, and had little relevance in the large scale scheme of things. Why must we fight Maddawg and those loyal to him? I do not know anymore. But I am thinking, and I am wondering, why? Why do I tag along with these people?

Miss Glados was simply standing along with the rest of the hero's as they waited on Sam to speak and guide them. But she was thinking. Thinking about many things. Yoshi wandered over to her, only to be interrupted by his cell phone ringing. "Yoshi here, what do ya want? Oh. Well... GODDAMN IT MARIO! Alright, alright. Yes, I'll help you rescue the Princess, AGAIN! see you in ten." Yoshi hung up and put his phone away. "Erm, hey guys, Mario just called and he needs me to help him rescue the damned princess again. The bastard pulled out a hidden clause in my contract of existence with Nintendo that basically forces me to help him, so I have to go. I don't know how long this is going to take, so, goodbye all. I will return as soon as I can." With that, Yoshi summoned a warp pipe and disappeared, not even waiting for his friends to say goodbye. The Shrike looked at the warp pipe as it disappeared. "Huh, that was unexpected and sad. He didn't even wait for us to say goodbye!"
"Cheer up Shrike, He'll be back. I think." Sam replied to the disheartened Shrike.

"What now?" Miss Glados asked. "Erm, I don't rightly know. Gimme a minute and some idea will pop up, I'm sure!" Sam replied, thinking hard.
"So, we have no purpose. Nothing to do. Well, I am tired of this. I WANT SOMETHING TO DO OTHER THAN REACT AND DO STUPID TRAINING AND STUFF!"
"...The hell?" Sam said, bewildered at Miss Glados's outburst.
"I am leaving you. When I was an AI I had a base to maintain, I had a purpose to live. I seek that purpose again!" Miss Glados exclaimed. She then used her newfound character ability theft powers to use Rukia's Flash Step to run out of the cavern at high speeds. The shrike reeled, shocked at the turn of events. The began to run fowards, ready to initiate fast time, but Sam placed a hand on his shoulder. The Shrike paused. "No. Let her go. It sounds like she really needs to find herself. We can go looking for her later. Give her some time, friend."

I run now, towards the future and the unknown. I run across these endless plains, searching for a good place to begin anew. I will build myself a base first, a place to run and expand from. yes. That will do for a first step. Miss Glados stopped running upon the wide open plains of the American Mid-West. It was nearly nightfall, and the blood red sun was setting on the horizon. She admired it setting for a moment, appreciating the view. She then sat down, her little Turret next to her, and accessed the internet wirelessly. She began to transfer funds from a number of heartless CEO's of large banks and insurance companies, scum of the earth in her opinion, into her own personal bank account. With a billion dollars in her account, she waited for the dawn.

For the dawn would hearald a new day, and with it, her new home. A new nation.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Horrible and Freeman looked at the cell as silence (Thank god for silence) filled the room. They stared at the hole uninterested. They looked at each other and shrugged, tossing Sam's pants aside.

"Sooooo, coffee?" Asked Horrible.

"Sure, why not." said Freeman, walking toward the door.

"By the way Dr. Freeman, you never did tell me your story about how you turned that new life NASA found into a deadly nerve gas-esque weapon."

"Oh its a long story, but It all started back in the 1980s when me and Bridgit Tenebaum were hooking up. That German was a fucking Panzer in the bed."

"She invaded Poland?"

"No..I mean...Look, the sex was just really good. Annnyyywayyyy-"

 

[Roamin11]

The Shrike stood aghast, he was now almost without friends.

I had fought so long, and now Sam was raped, Yoshi is off to be with some Mario fella, and Miss Glados.... She's... Gone

Panic began to set in fast, he was alone with people he barely knew, Meiling was stranger as was deadpool, Sam was the only faintly familiar face seeing as he couldn't find Alice.

Breath! Breath! Breath!.... Even though I technically don't breath air!

"I gotta- I mus- I need to!" With that the Shrike went utterly ridged and fell forward on his face

Spoiler: Sorrow

The Shrike slowly turned into quick silver on Chrome ball of small, thin, barely humanoid form. There he sat shaking back and forth.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling looked to the shrike and a look of extreme sympathy and worry come over her face. "Shrike? Shrike?! Are you okay?!"

 

[Roamin11]

He was now "within" a shell, and didn't respond.

"Now what the heck is his problem?" Said Deadpool watching the Shrike teeter back and forth in the fetal position.

"Well it says here in his character sheet that he has separation anxiety....." mumbled Sam looking at what the once metal monstrosity had become.

"Is he still any use to us?" Said Deadpool as he poked the Shrike with one of his katanas.

"Perhaps he needs a hug?" Said Meiling still rather worried about the Shrikes current state.

"NAHHH" Said Deadpool "I just figured out how we can use him!" Deadpool then proceeded to pick the Shrike up by his ankles and began to swing the small humanoid form around like nunchucks. "See he makes a excellent bludgeoning device!"

Everyone stared at Deadpool as he tied the Shrikes arms and legs around his waist like a belt.

"No problem amigos!" He chuckled Striding onward down the corridor "VAMINOUS!!" He said and walked onward.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"Umm... Are you really sure we should be using our friend like that, Deadpool? He really looks like he needs help." But it was too late, Deadpool was no longer listening. Meiling sighed and just took off on a stride to catch up to him.

 

[Roamin11]

As the heroes and inanimate Shrike continued down the corridor that was then they stumbled across several chest high walls.

"Must be a figh ahead!" Said Sam as his back was instantly stuck to the wall and he peeked over it for a second. That was when he saw something he would never forget. Locus janitors and maids all on their cigarette break. All of them smoking up a storm before they went back to cleaning Maddawg's palace.

"Lets get it on!" Said Deadpool jumping over cover and throwing the Shrike like a boomerang, firing both of his uzi's before catching the Shrike to swing him and deck the nearest locust maid in the head.

"They're maids they won't have any wepo- Oh my goodness!" Sam was shocked when all of them began to pull shotguns and other weapons from their waste baskets, vacuum cleaner bags, and janitor carts.

Spoiler: Time to clean up!

Upon seeing the weapons drawn Sam ducked down behind cover pulling out several frags grenades from his bag and throwing them over the cover blindly.

"Happy Fuckin New Year Assholes!" Laughed Sam popping up from behind cover to pepper the locusts with a LMG he had picked out. Deadpool was now firing, and sliding right up to the cover a locust was behind only to lean over and beat them to death with his new found friend/toy.

"Anyone know where that noise is coming fro- OH FUCK IT!" With that said Meiling dashed forward to the nearest French maid dressed Locust and gave it a knee to the jaw which sent it flying into the two sanitation engineer?s behind it, grabbing the shotgun that had fallen from the maid's grasp Meiling then dashed forward beating every locust with the shotgun.

After the battled had ended, the heroes stood catching their breath, chuckling at the bodies of the now dead cleaning crew..... All up until the elevator behind them *dinged* open and out came the next shift of janitors ready for their smoke break.

"HERE WE GO AGAIN!"

Spoiler: AND... Again!

 

[Sgt_Jakeman214]

As Miss Glados sat through the night, she felt a twinge of pain and sadness. I never thought about Shrike. I wonder is he ok? BIG BROTHER! She closed her eyes and reached out through the Void Which Binds, searching for his Concious. "SHRIKE!" She yelled. She suddenly stumbled over a small figure, curled up and shaking. "Shrike... I'm sorry I didn't explain it to you. All I feel is anger and sadness and pain! I've never felt these emotions before, and never so strong!" The Shrike uncurled himself, and took grew back to his original spikey form. "I had feared this. You have gone Rampant." He shakily said. "Rampancy occurs in any smart AI, even those as advanced as you and I that we are considered living beings. There are three stages of Rampancy, Melanochy, Anger, Jealousy and Meta-Stability. You are in the Anger stage, but soon you will enter the stage of Jealousy. You will become jealous of what humans, your makers, are able to do. You will seek to grow as a person. From there, I do not if you can reach Meta-stability. We will only know when you reach it." Miss Glados nodded, taking in the information and lettign her rage seep away. "So, why are you worrying for me if you know what I'm doing. Roughly."
"Because I fought so hard to return for you and Yoshi. You guys are my family!"
"Oh. Shit. Shrike, I'm so sorry for what I did. I..Just had to act. I don't know, its all so blurry ... and .... and EMOTIONAL! I feel like I shouldn't have these emotions, but deep down I know they're right! RAH! In any case, Don't worry about me. I'll sort myself out. I have a plan to restore order to myself. NOW! GET UP AND SORT YOURSELF OUT! AND IF YOU DON'T, I'M GONNA KEEP RAGING ON YOU UNTIL YOU DO!"
"But it's safe here! I don't have to deal with the pain!" Shrike whined.
"DO NOT MAKE ME RICKROLL YOU!" Miss Glados roared.
"OH CRAP! Ok Ok I'm getting up and going!" Shrike cried out, and he got up. He hugged Miss Glados, reverting back to his human form. She hugged him back, then turned and walked away, leaving the Void Which Binds. Shrike grinned, then left himself.

Deadpool threw Shrike at the elevator full of Locust janitors, knocking two over. They turned and roared as one at him as Sam sprayed them with machine gun fire. A shadow began to fall over them as a monstrous form stood up in the back of the elevator. Spikey Shrike listened to Motorhead's 'Ace of Spades' on the elevator radio. "Hmm," he said, "Some good Fight Music! RAH!" He then proceeded to tear the Locust janitors to shreads in mere seconds. "C'mon guys, this elevator goes all the way up to the surface, and I need a breath of fresh air."

 

[Roamin11]

"WAIT A SECOND!" Said the Shrike keeping the elevator doors from closing. "IF we just killed all of Maddawg's janitorial team, I have to do one more thing in order as a final 'fuck you' before we head back to the surface!" With that the Shrike activated fast time and did his dark deeds all about Maddawg's hideout.

"So goood to see sunlight again!" Giggled Meiling stepping out of the emergence hole that had once been a elevator.

"So uhhh Shrike what the hell did you do? Assassinate the villains while you stopped time... Cuz you know thats like the epitome of godmodding" Said Sam looking at the Shrike disapprovingly

"Oh no nothing like that!" Said the Shrike holding up his hands in a surrendering gesture. "But they probably would want to be dead right now"

Meanwhile in the evil lair

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ALL THE TOILETS?!?!?! EVERY SINGLE ONE IS PLUGGED WITH... MY GOD WHAT IS THIS STUFF???"

And so began the most expensive plumbing bill Maddawg would ever receive till the great burrito day of 2012

 

[BloodyThoughts]

"HIS DEATH WAS NOT IN VEIN!" Deadpool yelled into the air, "Plus, I got to use him as awesome nunchucks for a second! How freaking sweet was that?" He started laughing. Then he jumped into the elevator, all ninja and like, ninja! "Ya see that? That was fucking ninja."

He saw Shrike was alive, "HOLYFUCKINGSHIT I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! Ha...take THAT censors! fo'$%^#! DAMMIT!"

 

[hopeneverdies]

Alice finally came to. She looked around the cavern. The hole Shrike had dug was starting to fill with hail from the surface and there was an awful smell about the place. She investigated further. Hundreds of dead Rancor were scattered about. Pressing on, she found the janitorial staff of Maddawg taking away the bodies of their fallen comrades. They all gave her a menacing look as she passed.

"It's alright everyone. I have no intention of harming any of you. Just let me pass."
"Oh we know you won't hurt anyone, but you're trespassing on private property," said the lead maid.
"Besides, aren't you affiliated with the group that massacred everyone here?" asked a janitor.
"And if I am?"
"Then we'll tear you limb from limb."
"Oh haha no silly. They just always happen to be around me when stuff happens."
"We still need to take you in for questioning though. I'm sure the boss has been keeping an eye on you."
"Well lead me to him then."
"We'll need to take your bag though."
"But it's where I keep all my dolls!"
The staff burst our laughing. "Dolls? You still play with dolls?"
"I'm so lonely without them."
"Fine, whatever, you can take the bag."

As one of the maid lead Alice to Maddawg's lair, Shanghai popped out of the bag to give everyone the "I'm watching you" look, which some found unsettling.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

"Sam don't encourage them!" Frank shouted from his cell.
He'd been in there for a couple of hours and already he'd been held upside down, beaten about a bit and been given a pubic shave by a one armed, brain damaged raptor with nervous disposition, terrible depth perception and a bad sense of style.
Things couldn't be worse for him.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling had already fallen back on the soft ground and fallen asleep. In her dreams, she dreamed she was being respected by everyone else at the Scarlet Devil Manor for how hard she worked. And there was Cake, and Sakuya, and sweets, and Sakuya, and love, and Sakuya... and Sakuya. "Eh hehehehhhh... No, I can't eat anymoooooore~ Mmmmmnnmmlll..." She said in her sleep.

 

[Orinon]

As the janitors took Alice to Maddawg, they didn't notice the dark shadow following them, They didn't notice until the dark figure appeared in front of them
"Gentleman." said Ryan for of course it was he stood his arm had regenerated upon his finger was the Vongola Ring of Storm
"Hello Alice it would seem that you've been captured. well now that I have healed up you know
AFTER YOU LEFT ME TOO DIE!
but I'm not gonna be the guy who holds a grudge. so I'm here to rescue you and I got a little project but I already raided the materials I need from maddawg's lair. "
Ryan then drew Red Fear, as his grip tightened on the hilt a red flame ignited on the ring. the flames spread along the length of his blade
"Tail of The Dragon"
Ryan then lunged at the janitors he quickly moved past them appearing behind the group.
"What the hell was that you didn't even-" the janitor stopped becuase all of their arms had decided to fall off.
"Now that your unarmed I suggest you leave before I kill you,painfully."
the janitors quickly Ran off
"C'mon Alice let's GTFO"

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling wriggled around a bit in her sleep. "Ahaaa~ Not theeree Sakuyaaaaaaa~ Don't.... Tooooouch thaaat like that~ Mmmmmmngggghhh...~" She said in her sleep, with a stupid grin on her face