The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[hopeneverdies]

The bus was heading straight for a huge boulder. Impulsively, Iji grabbed the Emergency Brake and pulled as hard as she chould. The level broke off in her hands as the bus skidded towards its doom.
"Oops," she mumbled.

 

[Ramthundar]

"WEEEE!" Ram cried, front legs in the air as the bus swerved towards the boulder.

"NO RAM! Dieing BAD!" scolded Rag, trying to regain control over the bus.

"D'aww, I make it fun then!" Ram climbed to the front and concentrated on the boulder.

"THOR'S TAP!" The boulder exploded as it was hit by a massive lightning bolt.

"Good job Ram!" Frank said, the rest of the group cheering.

"Phf, could of blasted that too..." Xandus mumbled, quickly getting a thwack for Ram. "Don't take away mah praise, you Sith punk!"

"Scuse me? You wanna start something goat?" he demanded, taking out his claymore.

"BRING IT, YAH TREKKIE WANNABE!" Ram roared, charging at the Sith Lord.

"Ram, the hell is wrong with you?" Rag asked, still trying to get the bus under control

"Sorry, I thought a nice drink of Rum would lighten the mood." Sam said with a chuckle, taking a swig from a large bottle labeled XXX.

"SAM! You know you should share." Rag said, taking the bottle and having a swig himself.

 

[Sam G]

ALMOST, BUT NOT QUITE, ELEVEN SECONDS LATER

"OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS! I BET I COULD DRIVE THIS BUS WITH MY MIND!" Samantha yelled, pulling her clothes off for no reason other than that she was really, really drunk.
"Go on, then!" Rag replied, stepping away from the wheel. All of a sudden, it started turning by itself.
"SEE!?" Sam yelled, making the bus spin around and around in tight circles, before climbing on to the roof and dancing, despite there being no music.
"Thish shillinesh hash gone on for quite long enough!" Ram declared, and intelligently blasted the tyres of the bus out so Sam couldn't continue doing silly things. The bus flipped over and managed a perfect 4320-degree spin sideways before landing in the ocean, of all places.
"Hey, guys! "The Bus That Rocked!"" Rag yelled, and everyone laughed drunkenly before passing out.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

"Alright easy guys, we don't want a repeat of Joe's bar, do we? And err I have something to confess." Said Frank, scratching his head. "Well spit it out!" Said Xandus. "Ok, raise your hand if you were bitten by the crawlers." "The what?" Lji asked, confused. "The bugs!" Frank said in frustration.

 

[hopeneverdies]

"You, Ganon, Phil, Xandus, anyone else? Is something wrong?"

 

[Ramthundar]

"Hmm, let me check." Ram said, slowly sobering again. He lifted his legs and a small bug fell off, which stumbled around a bit before starting a fight with a passing beetle.

"Chep, looks like the little shit got me. Apparently a light-weight too. TRY TO HOLD YE LIQUOR BETTER, yah squishy bastard!"

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Ganondorf was in Hyrule, it was burning to the ground at his own dark flames, his armies of Moblins, Bokoblins, Redeads, Stalfos, Darknuts, Kargoroks, and Twilit messengers were running wildly through the streets. Link stood in front of Ganondorf, bleeding heavily with many broken bones. "*Pant* You'll never get way with this Ganondorf!" He said.
Ganondorf walked up to him, head held high and smiled evilly, then beggan to laugh menihically.
"Oh my boy! I already have." Zelda walked up to Ganondorf and fell on his shoulder, eyes closed and smiling. Link looked on in horror. "no...no... NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He screamed. He went insane. "Don't worry boy, i'll end the suffering right now." Ganondorf raised his hand high and a massive ligghtningg ball formed. Link stared in absolute and primal terror. Then Ganondorf threw the ball and Link disinterated with a cry of pain. Ganondorf smiled and began to laugh. "Mhmhmhmhmhm...hehehehehehehehe... Ahahahahahah! AAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! I DID IT! I FINALLY DID IT! I TOOK OVER HYRULE AND THE WOOOORRRRLLDDD!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!" Hee shouted into the dark, yellow sky as twilight enveloped the planet in sorrow and monsters became demons in the blanket of evil light. Zelda pressed hard on Ganondorf's shoulders.

In the bus, Ganondorf was passed out from bein too drunk, he was in the fetal position, sucking his thumb. "What's that Zelda? Of course i'll have hot sex with you right here in the castle courtyard. What's that? You want your friend Ruto to join us? Of course. You want to kiss her passionatly while We all have sex? Of course you can!"
"Uh... Ganondorf... what are you doing..." Said Xandus.
Immediatly, Ganondorf shot up, awake.
"Uhhh... Nothing!" He said.
Then the bus rolled into the ocean with a naked Samantha pole dancing on a pole that somehow appeared on the top of the bus.

 

[Sam G]

"I totally got bitten! Numerous times!" Samantha cried, flipping upside-down and spinning around the pole, her hair barely trailing along the ground.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

"Well then, Phil, Ganon, Xandus, Ram. I hate to tell you this, but there's no cure for the infection. You can only stop it form spreading by taking inhibitors which stop the conversion process. If you don't have the treatment every 24 hours then you will slowly become this: http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20081110174220/resistancefallofman/images/thumb/2/2d/Hybrid.jpg/250px-Hybrid.jpg" Frank explained. "What, we become an image location?" Asked Ram confused. "No, paste it in your address bar, then in this in your Address bar: http://resistance.wikia.com/wiki/Chimera it should tell you everything you need to know about the Chimera. I suggest everyone reads it so we know what we're up against here."

 

[Sam G]

"I know a cure!" Samantha cried, picked up a gun off the ground and shot it at her head. Fortunately, as she was so very intoxicated she missed, and the other heroes attempted to wrestle the gun out of her grasp.
"No, come on, this makes sense!" She insisted. "I'll just die, then bring myself back to life as a clone or something, so I'll be pretty much exactly the same other than that I won't be infected!" She fired the gun again, and it shot off into the sky, piercing a plane's wing and bringing it down into the ocean.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

Frank grabbed Sam's arm and slammed it against the wall, she dropped the gun and Frank kicked it across the Bus. "You crazy fool? That isn't going to help. We need everyone alive, plus you get some superhuman abilities! I can slow down time when I use a sniper rifle, BOOM HEAD SHOT slow motion, isn't that something to live for!?" Frank grabbed Sam by the shoulders and shook her. "Isn't it? *Cough* Anyway, so yeah, no cure, sorry guys."

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"Well I just figured out that my ability is to cure anything so..." Ganondorf cured himself. "" "So... I have to take some damn shot every 24 hours like I was some diabetic? No way, It would be much easier just to go back a few hours and tell ourselves to run away before that swarm of insects came." Ganondorf said. "But wait... If we meet our past selves, won't the universe implode? And how are we gonna back?" Said Ram. "Nah, that's just a myth, it'll be fine... I think, and I have this!" Ganondorf whipped out the ocarina of time. "WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?! I thougght Link had it." Said Xandus. "Remember Wind Waker?" Said Ganondorf. "Yeah..." Said Xandus. "Well that has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! . Actually, when I came through the portal to get here, the same one Link went through, I snatched it from him when he wasn't looking. Bet the guy's going desparate looking for it.

MEANWHILE! IN THE LEGEND OF ZELDA WORLD!
"OH! Oh yeah, do me harder Link. Yeah!" "Oh don't worry baby, i'll do you harder. UNGH!" "OH! YES! Yes, yes, yes yes! OH!" "OH yeah! AAAAANNNNNDDD!!! BOOM! THERE IT IS!" "OOOOoooohhhh..." "That was amazing Zelda." "Yeah, that was the best sex we've ever had. I wish we could do it again." "[sub]Oh, don't worry. We can.[/sub]" Link started looking through his stuff. "*GASP!* WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IIIITTTT!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[hopeneverdies]

"So, Xandus, how about we get to that castle in Nexus?"

 

[Ramthundar]

"You're telling me you had the ability to time-travel this whole time and you didn't tell me? GIMME!" Ram cried, grabbing the instrument.

"There's something important I must do" he said with a grim face, blowing into the ocarina, disappearing in a burst of light.

Several seconds later, he came back completely shitfaced.

"Best....PARTY....EVAH!" he slurred, trying to stay upright.

"YOU PUT THE TIME-FRAME IN JEOPARDY FOR A KEGER?" Ganandorf roared, slapping Ram upside the head and then pummeling him.

"What? Don't tell me you wouldn't try to have a drinking contest with yourself if you could!"

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"WELL FUCK ALL YOU! I'll just go tell all the villains to run before the angel comes."
Ganondorf played the Song of time and went back to page 152 wright when Frank said, "The angel! It's found me!" HE made sure to hide himself from the others for a quick second, then ran up to himself. "ME?! What am I doing here?!" Past Ganondorf said. "No time! Bat thing! Insects! Diabetes! HURRY! DON'T FIGHT THE ANGEL!" Ganondorf said. Past Ganondorf stared at him for a second. "What are you talking about you sexy beast?" Ganondorf replied. "Although that is true, we are incredibly sexy, tthere's no time to talk! RUN! NOW!" Past Ganondorf hopped on MetalSeadramon. Ganondorf ran up to MetalSeadramon and Xandus and climbed up and said to Xandus. "HURRY! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE OR WE'LL BE INFECTED WITH SUPER DIABETES!" He said. "OH SHIT! C'MON METALSEADRAMON!!!" Xandus and Ganondorf flew off into the distance. Suddenly, A rift appeared in front of present Ganondorf and sucked him in. "OH SHIT! I REGRET NOTHIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGG!!!" He was thrown back into he bus by the others. "Back so soon?" Said Ram. "DAMNIT! I didn't take into consideration that if i went back in time and stopped myself, I wouldn't get the idea to go back and stop myself so I couldn't stop myself." Ganondorf said. "GAH! MY BRAIN!" Shouted Sam who was now giving CybeRihanna the pleasures of her life.

 

[hopeneverdies]

Iji and Xandus had made it into the Nexus.

"Man this place is different. And OH MY GOD! Can it be?"

"Can it be what?"

"It's a freakin' missile pony! I was promised a pony... with missiles... so long ago. And here it is. My brother told me the world wasn't about them, but it is!"

Little did she know, that what she saw was in fact a mule with a saddle on it's back.

Spoiler: OOC

Okay, I really have to explain this one. Remember that Scrambler that Yuka mentioned way back when? Well, basically it's a silliness switch that replaces all of the vowels with other vowels and occasionally outright changes some of the dialogue during important conversations. A pony with missiles tends to be a running gag. It also happens to be the page quote for the TV Tropes page on the Silliness switch.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

"Sooo, we're all still infected? I mean I'll always be infected cos I was infected WAY back, but are the others still infected?" Asked Frank.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"Yeah... We're all stil infected... Damn time paradoxes..." Said Ganondorf. "Hey, shouldn't we be caught in an infinate loop or somethin cause you came back and could get the idea to go back?" Said Ram. "No, I used the ocarina to go ahead, 1 second after that, since there was no future me at that time, i'm him and I never came up with the idea." Sam's head exploded while she was getting licked down by CybeRihanna.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

"Alright, let's get off the subject of time travel. Time for the shots." Frank threw needles to all the people who were infected. "Inject it into your neck."