"NOOOOOOOO!!!! ME NEED TO KILLLLLLZZZZ YOOOOOOOOOUUUUU!" Ganondorf shouted. He broke down the door that lead to the Logician just in time to see Sam and Ryan walk into their private room.
He licked his lips.
"OHH GOODIIIESS!! TWO FOOOR ONE!" He said as he ran into the private room, flailing his arms and making ridiculous noises.
iji helped Him into a sitting position and gave him some enrgy drink to boost his strength.
"I think I can," he replied as he hoisted himself onto his feet, "Now where did everyone go?"
"They split. Sam through a magic door and CybeRyan some other way. I hink they mentioned the Logician. Oh and your picture, five billion views on Youtube."
Each statent angered the Gerudo more and more until he nearly choked his friend.
"Lets clean up this mess. I'll tend to he injured tasen and order the rest back onto their ship."
Just as she said she would, the injured were in medical care while the rest and the bodies of the dead flew back to their villages. Vat and Yuka returned to Iji to thank her saving their lives, they took permanent command over the regiment after they flew back.
Apparently, Ganondorf had imagined running into Loggy's room and crashing into the private room.
"Thanks for saving my soldiers." He said.
"No prob, they were much better than my soldiers." Iji said.
"Of course, while your soldiers are powered by armour, making them have a huge eo and givingg them feeble muscles cause they thought they could do everything with tech, MY soldiers trained hour after hour, naturally toughening their skin to leather and increasing their resiliance to pain." Ganondorf said.
"You're absolutly right Ganondorf! My army is no match for yours." Iji replied.
"Of course it isn't. Now come, let's have a hearty laugh with one arm over the other's shoulder, and the other arm rocking back in forth in front of us in a toastingg motion."
And they did, and a glorious laugh it was.
While Leprakhan was building suspense, Frank's restraints came free. He grabbed Khan and threw him on the bed, locking him in place. When Bobo attacked Frank, Frank grabbed Bobo's balls and cut them off. He put the electro shock on Khan and set it to a pernament loop. As Frank was leaving, he saw a nuke ready for launch so he set its target as Iji and Ganon's soldiers. As Iji and Ganon sauntered off into the sunset, a mushroom cloud formed in front of them, the screams of the soldiers could be heard.
"Well the injured weren't going to last long anyway," she muttered, "The others are back home safe, unless Stupid Idiot McMoron decides to nuke an entire species to extinction."
Ganon was absolutely speechless. Millions of expendables, gone in an instant. You could almost see the shower of hearts they left behind.
"So how's that old fashioned tech working out fo ya?" she asked jokingly.
Bobo regenerated his balls, and punched Frank in his with his amazing genetically altered chimpanzee strength, nearly bursting them.
Hang on my lord!
Why? You know the electric option doesnt work when I'm in it because of the safeguard I installed precisely for this reason.
Oh. Said Bobo, before Frank punched him in the face.
Bobo! Offensive maneuver 6!
Yes Mi'Lord. Said Bobo as Frank still punched him in the face.
Bobo picked up Frank threw him into the ground and repeatedly curb stomped his head until his nose began to bleed.
Good! Now release me!
Bobo grabbed the remote and pressed a button releasing Lepre-Khan. He walked around Frank who was now barely conscious.
That was some fast thinking of you Frank. Clearly you've evolved from the ameoba you were when you were my assistant. Too bad however that you are about to give your new found smartness up. Bobo! You know what to do.
Bobo pressed another button causing a massive clear diamond tube to surround Frank and a computer to rise up from the ground.
Have fun. Said Lepre-Khan as he and Bobo left the room.
Frank, barely able to stay awake, walked over to the computer and turned on the monitor. He was at youtube. He saw a video saying:"GUNS EXPLOSIONS AND TITTS! THE BEST VIDEO EVER!" Excited, he quickly navigated to it, only to become angry and dissapointed when he saw it was really just a video of Rick Ashtley "Never Gonna Give You Up!". He saw another video that sounded awesome and another and another, but all of them were really just videos of "Never Gonna Give You Up!"
His rage began to boil over. He felt as if he was somehow changing. He began to notice his skin become brown and incredibly hard. He became taller and stronger. His back began to hunch over and his teeth began to grow sharper. His mind beagn to give way to utter rage and hate.
Look at him Bobo. He's quite the looker aint he?
Yes Mi'Lord. Said Bobo nervously. What exactly did you do to him exactly?
Simple! I exposed him to extreme Rick-Roll radiation, turning him into nearly unstoppable force of nature with more brute force than an entire wrecking crew. A Demolisher!
Lepre-Khan began to laugh eviley as Frank began to pound his way out of the solid diamond.
Oh. Mi'Lord, if he's an unstoppable force of nature now, how do you plan to control him?
Lepre-Khan stopped laughing.
Oh shi-
Hours later in the private room
"Well I gotta go help frank sammy see you later."
"awww well i had a good time."
two hours later
"Ok it's ass kicking time."
using gohma's eye as organic material; he created a very thin transparent organic skin to surrond him. he then flew to Khan's hideout
"It's actually working pretty well, I still have a huge army back at my castle." Ganondorf said.
"It's still much bigger than your tiny army too." He said.
Frank could still think normally. "Okay, so I'm a soul trapped in a tank's body with no control over it. That makes it more simple to understand." He thought to himself. But all his 'talking' thoughts were being telepathically transmitteed to all the other heroes. "Guys, can you hear me?" Frank thought.
Frank could still think normally. "Okay, so I'm a soul trapped in a tank's body with no control over it. That makes it more simple to understand." He thought to himself. But all his 'talking' thoughts were being telepathically transmitteed to all the other heroes. "Guys, can you hear me?" Frank thought.
Ganondorf ate a whole pack of mentos, turned to the camera, and said:"Mentos! The Freshmaker!" Again, his cell-phone began to ring.
What is it this time Lepre-Khan!?
WAWAWAWAWAWAWA!
WAWAWAWAWAWAWA? What the hell does that mean?
WAWAWAWAWAWAWA!
Look. I'm a dark wizard and thus incredibly gifted in all human tongues in the world from English to fucking *clicks tongue* *clicks tongue slightly differently* *clicks tongue slightly differently* and even I have not even a fucking clue as to what your saying! so quit saying WAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA or I swear to the great Master Hand in subspace that I will rip out your intestines and use them to floss my teeth!
WA.
Lepre-Khan hung up the phone.
Mi'Lord, was it really wise to prank call Mr.Ganondorf again and make a Charlie Brown reference when he is in all liklyhood the only one to save our asses from becoming grass?
Oh what do you know Bobo, your a lesser evolved primate! Now hold still, I think I see some delicious insects in your fur.
Lepre-Khan leaped onto Bobo's back and began to run his fingers along Bobo's head looking for bugs to eat as Frank now Demolisher sprinted towards the Panick room.
"Oh how I hate having to watch myself pile drive into things." Frank's soul thought as he watched his body ripping down circuits and computers. "Hmmm, if Cybe's a cyborg, he can't hear my thoughts, but if I change my brainwave frequency, his thought processing chip should pick it up." Frank tuned his thoughts to Cybe's radio. "Listen, you're walking into a trap. My body's been turned into a monster and my soul has no control over it. You have to restrain and kill me so I can find a new body. Good luck."
Ganondorf was now pissed, more pissed than he'd ever been in his life.
He growled and pulled out a chain and bit it, they showed his teeth, the chains became braces.
He made a dark portal appear that linked to Lepre-Khan's hidden lair. He leaped out towards the small man and began choking him. Lucky Charms flew everywhere as Ganondorf shook Lepre-Khan as he was choking him.
The demolisher turned on ganon. "Oh great, no demolisher, bad!" Frank's soul shouted. "Oh why won't you listen to me you giant L4D reference!" He shouted in disappointment as Demolisher made a new bum buddy.
Ganondorf turned to face the hulking behemoth that Sam had turned into.
"Something Undead? Really? Do you think you hold a chance aainst my Stalfos?" Ganondorf snapped his fingers and 5 skeletal hands popped out of the dirt before 5 skeletons clad in armour appeared.
The following episode of The Logician's Adventure had %0 plot. None. Then Loggy woke up late, went to work for eight hours, crashed, and forgot about writing. At some point Sam came into the picture.
And now for Loggy's double-sized adventure, to make up for falling alseep at six in the afternoon!
The Logician and Sam were walking along a grassy field; in the distance was a small town. Sam was skipping along (saying 'yay' quietly each time her feet hit the ground) while Benny was in the satchel at The Logician's side, watching Bleach or something.
"So what're we gonna do?" Sam asked.
The Logician shrugged. "Dunno. We need to get to that town, though-"
"Couldn't you just teleport us there?" Sam asked.
Loggy shook his head. "It's...well, yes I could, but sometimes I like to walk."
Hey, you're not a lazy fucker. Awesome. Could you teleport us closer, Dante and I want the plot to get moving.
The logician gave an odd glare to no one, snapped his fingers, and they were a few steps away. "Better?"
Very, thank you.
"Good. Locate where we are, find someplace top stay. Sam, see if there are any odd jobs we can do for the vilagers."
"'k" Sam said, and stalked off.
So what're you going to be doing?
"Same thing as Sam; asking around, seeing if anyone needs any errands done."
Sounds...tedious and boring. I'll be checking every map in the book, it may take awhile.
"Thanks." Seeing a well dressed individual walking out of a tavern, The Logician walked up to him. "'aya, I'm the Logician. I'm looking for a que-"
"GO AWAY!" the man shouted. "WE DON'T LIKE YOUR KIND HERE, YOU EFFEMINITE FUCKWIT!"
The Logician, paralized with the absudity of the situation, said nothing.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
The Logician walked into The Mage's Guild. "So, here's me, The Logician, and I'd like to know if I can offer my services to you guys. Is there anything you need, anything I can help you with?"
Everyone froze for a moment, then fell to the ground. "GREAT AND POWERFUL LOGICIAN!" They said, almost in unison. "YOU CAUGHT US AT A MOST INCONVINIENT TIME!"
"Oh bullshit get up. What are you guys doing now?"
"WE'RE AVERTING OUR EYES, OH LOGICIAN!"
"Well cut it out!" The Logician said. "You're worse than the fucking Fighter's guild, it's all, 'I'M SORRY' this and 'FORGIVE ME' that and 'I'M NOT WORTHY!"
A Monty Python joke. How classy.
"Oh, sarcasm. How original."
A well-dressed individual stepped up. "Please, Keeper, anything you need is at our disposal. Any of our beds, our training rooms, our vast liabrary, and any of us would be more than willing to-"
Sam crashed through the celing, looking feral and covered in blood. The dozen mages present threw various spells at Sam, all of which were absorbed by The Logician's own magic shield. Sam looked up at The Logician, her eyes bright, and a large piece of ivory cluched between her teeth. "Eeye oot eeaar eeeeeettt!"
"Sam, what are you doing?" The Logician asked.
Sam spat out the piece of ivory, which was easily bigger than her head.. "Bear teeth! Someone here needed bear teeth!"
The Logician shook his head. "...where did you get teeth that big?"
"From bears! I got two-hundred of them!"
"I...but...The..."
What my stuttering friend means to say is that bears aren't that big. A bear that big would be literally as big as a mountain.
"Bears go 'Oink!'" Sam replied. "Big bears go, 'big oink'!"
I...but...does not compute...does not compute...
"I would guess someone's a fan of a certain Melancholly of a certain reality warper. It's not importiant, who needed the bear teeth?" A dark elf in the corner raised his hand. "Alrighty. There 'y go."
Please tell me we've come to a main quest. Please, for the love of all that is holy, please tell me we've found a main quest.
"That reminds me...We're looking for a long-multi-part quest that'll keep my comrades busy for some time. Anything on the table? Any life changing thingie-things?"
"Well, there's that bandit group that comes by here every now and again. They'll be here in a couple days. Or hours. Can you stop them?"
Loggy shrugged. "Sure, I'll give it a try."
"Thank you, Master Logician. We will be-"
"Nah, I'm just passing through. Can we have a couple beds?"
"Yes, yes, of course, Keeper!"
"Yay!"
world_of_dragons said:
Hm.... Mind if I jump back in? I'm not sure if anyone even remembers me though.
Iji flew back to Xandus' castle to make a quick stop. She grabbed some healing potions and went to work configuring her nanofield to give her ammo when hit. She was starting to run low and knew that she wasn't the most graceful or agile person in the world anyway. When that was finished she and MetalSeadramon flew to Khan's lab.
Iji climbed into the ventilation system and crawled around until Ganondorf and some hideous creature were visible through a vent. The piping, not expecting to support her weight for that long, collapsed and she tumbled down into the lab with a loud, "Oof!", and both Ganon and the thing turned to face her.
"Yeah thanks," she shouted back as she ducked out of the way of the Tank's fist.
"I'm worried that something might happen if I shoot something by accident and I can tell my foot isn't going to do anything to hi--" A heavy fist went right into her abdomen and knocked her into a wall.
The Tank lumbered toward her prone body as she attempted to push herself back up. Another fist came her way, aiming for the face. Iji rolled to the side onto her back and fired the CFIS into it's own face. The electricity shocked the Tank long enough for her to slide between it's legs and into a standing position.
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